Ladies, I need to know...

[grue 1]

What is it that makes a woman accept a date invitation, and then suddenly have something else to do?

On Friday, I was supposed to go out with this girl... smart, nice, VERY pretty. Talked to her on the phone for a bit on Thursday night, and she said she'd call after she got done with her stuff on Friday afternoon. Never called. Talked to her today, and she said she got done late and had to get to bed early. Doesn't that at least warrant a call saying "Sorry, I can't make it" or something along those lines?

This kind of stuff happens so frequently that I'm giving up and asking for help:

WTF am I doing wrong?!

cavete terrae.

[ladyskydiver 0]

Sorry...can't explain it. It's damn rude to do that.

Life is short! Break the rules! Forgive quickly! Kiss slowly! Love truly, Laugh uncontrollably. And never regret anything that made you smile.

[f1freak 0]

Man....
whats the saying.......
sometimes ya just gotta say what the fuck.....
keep on keepin on.....

HAVE FUN...
...JUST DONT DIE

[VanillaSkyGirl 6]

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Talked to her on the phone for a bit on Thursday night, and she said she'd call after she got done with her stuff on Friday afternoon. Never called. Talked to her today, and she said she got done late and had to get to bed early. Doesn't that at least warrant a call saying "Sorry, I can't make it" or something along those lines?

Did you two definitely have a date, or did she say that she'd call if she could make it? Yes, she should have called you to cancel if you had a date, and she failed to show up. She should have apologized after not showing up, too. Sadly, she doesn't sound interested in you at all. However, the truly horrid part is that she lacks common courtesy and has already shown a lack of respect for you and your feelings. I think that she did you a favor by not going out with you.

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This kind of stuff happens so frequently

Do you mean that this has happened before with the same person, or has this happened to you with various women?

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WTF am I doing wrong?!

You are dating the wrong kind of woman or women. Make sure that you are asking out women, who like you and generally want to be with you. If a person really likes you, then the person will do just about anything possible to keep the date.

[peacefuljeffrey 0]

I too look forward to hearing the answer to this one.

It's not exactly what happened to me, but if it does, I'd like to know why it did.

Instead, I went on a date with a girl who ended up telling me that she likes me and would go out with me (she seemed unequivocal about that) except for the fact that she is about to divorce her HUSBAND.

(She expressed her apology and regret at not mentioning THAT situation sooner!)

Why the fuck is it so hard to find someone to fall in love with and have it be uncomplicated and true? I am not a bad guy, in fact I'm a rather GOOD guy, and I know I deserve it and would be worthy of it.

Instead I get to deal with this kind of head-screw.


-Jeffrey

-Jeffrey
"With tha thoughts of a militant mind... Hard line, hard line after hard line!"

[grue 1]

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Did you two definitely have a date, or did she say that she'd call if she could make it? Yes, she should have called you to cancel if you had a date, and she failed to show up. She should have apologized after not showing up, too. Sadly, she doesn't sound interested in you at all. However, the truly horrid part is that she lacks common courtesy and has already shown a lack of respect for you and your feelings. I think that she did you a favor by not going out with you.

Yeah, we definitely had a date. I understand that things happen and sometimes you just can't make it, but seriously... common courtesy just isn't so common these days.

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Do you mean that this has happened before with the same person, or has this happened to you with various women?

Various women. Apparently I manage to pick the ones that are flaky like a leper colony, but I don't mean they've got dandruff.

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You are dating the wrong kind of woman or women. Make sure that you are asking out women, who like you and generally want to be with you. If a person really likes you, then the person will do just about anything possible to keep the date.

Yeah, therein lies the problem. I'm the guy that's too nice to date, I've been told. Frustration makes an amazing mattress for me to make my bed on.

cavete terrae.

[peacefuljeffrey 0]

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WTF am I doing wrong?!

You are dating the wrong kind of woman or women. Make sure that you are asking out women, who like you and generally want to be with you. If a person really likes you, then the person will do just about anything possible to keep the date.

Frankly, I don't see that as very good advice. MOST OF THE PROBLEM [I]IS[/I] IN TRYING TO "KNOW" IF THE WOMAN "LIKES YOU" AND "GENERALLY WANTS TO BE WITH YOU"!!

If we were so good at being able to tell (or if women were any good at indicating) that they liked us, we would not have 90% of the difficulty we have!

The dating is USED to determine if she likes us and wants to be with us. We can't possibly really know that BEFORE we select this woman to date!


-Jeffrey

-Jeffrey
"With tha thoughts of a militant mind... Hard line, hard line after hard line!"

[Frenchy68 0]

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The dating is USED to determine if she likes us and wants to be with us. We can't possibly really know that BEFORE we select this woman to date!

In many cases, you can.

"For once you have tasted Absinthe you will walk the earth with your eyes turned towards the gutter, for there you have been and there you will long to return."

[VanillaSkyGirl 6]

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WTF am I doing wrong?!

You are dating the wrong kind of woman or women. Make sure that you are asking out women, who like you and generally want to be with you. If a person really likes you, then the person will do just about anything possible to keep the date.

[chrissylicious 0]

I have heard that it happens a lot to men and being a woman I am now starting to understand why guys dont aproach woman anymore. I personaly think that there is no excuse to stand anyone up. I have been told by many woman that I have been to nice to men and that I have to be a bitch to gain any sort of respect. The fact is that if you have to play a game just to be with someone then you are waisting your time becuase you will always loos.
Licious

"I will stick you with a rope"- ME

[skymama 37]

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Yeah, we definitely had a date. I understand that things happen and sometimes you just can't make it, but seriously... common courtesy just isn't so common these days.

That's bad behavior for anyone, man or woman. Be glad that the date was broken because I'm sure there's more of that type of attitude where that came from.

She is Da Man, and you better not mess with Da Man,
because she will lay some keepdown on you faster than, well, really fast. ~Billvon

[DrunkMonkey 0]

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Man....
whats the saying.......
sometimes ya just gotta say what the fuck.....
keep on keepin on.....

Agreed. Sometimes you're the dog, sometimes you're the fire hydrant...

[chrissylicious 0]

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Did you two definitely have a date, or did she say that she'd call if she could make it? Yes, she should have called you to cancel if you had a date, and she failed to show up. She should have apologized after not showing up, too. Sadly, she doesn't sound interested in you at all. However, the truly horrid part is that she lacks common courtesy and has already shown a lack of respect for you and your feelings. I think that she did you a favor by not going out with you.

Yeah, we definitely had a date. I understand that things happen and sometimes you just can't make it, but seriously... common courtesy just isn't so common these days.

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Do you mean that this has happened before with the same person, or has this happened to you with various women?

Various women. Apparently I manage to pick the ones that are flaky like a leper colony, but I don't mean they've got dandruff.

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You are dating the wrong kind of woman or women. Make sure that you are asking out women, who like you and generally want to be with you. If a person really likes you, then the person will do just about anything possible to keep the date.

Yeah, therein lies the problem. I'm the guy that's too nice to date, I've been told. Frustration makes an amazing mattress for me to make my bed on.

I feel like the nice girl who cant get a NORMAL guy. The guys I have dated my whole life are possesive

"I will stick you with a rope"- ME

[GiaKrembs 0]

Hi Jeff/Grue,

Flaking/lack of follow up is completely unacceptable, and I will not make any excuses for women who do this....

However, personally speaking I know that fear plays a big factor with me. Just because I don't show for a date does not mean lack of interest (and yes this could be communicated better by me and most women), but when it comes to crunch time I know I have bailed out on a date because I'm too afraid to meet someone alone. Regardless of how much a man assures me, I still will have that fear. I will apologize for not making it, and if the comfort level is there (and it isn't always - so some lame ass excuse will come out - like the one Grue received) I will explain myself/my fears.... If I am truly interested in "said" man I will continue to communicate with him and try to meet in a place where I feel more secure/and on my terms.

Of course I am not speaking for all women, I merely wanted to throw a different perspective on the situation.

g

Raddest ho this side of Jersey #1 - rest in peace brother
Beth lost her cherry and I missed it
.... you want access to it, but you don't want to break it.

[Cyanide41 0]

I say give her a second chance. If she fucks it up this time lose her number and walk away. Let some other sucker deal with that bullshit.

JAMES

[Adrock 0]

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MOST OF THE PROBLEM [I]IS[/I] IN TRYING TO "KNOW" IF THE WOMAN "LIKES YOU" AND "GENERALLY WANTS TO BE WITH YOU"!!

If we were so good at being able to tell (or if women were any good at indicating) that they liked us, we would not have 90% of the difficulty we have!

The dating is USED to determine if she likes us and wants to be with us. We can't possibly really know that BEFORE we select this woman to date!


-Jeffrey

You can't tell if a woman is really interested or not when you talk to her for a bit? I know that I feel like I give out a rather obvious "interested" vibe when I'm talking to guys that I'm interested in. Similarly, I feel that they're interested as well from their vibe. Of course, I can't tell at that moment for sure if the vibe is "want to take you home with me for crazy monkey sex" vibe or "want to marry you" vibe or somewhere in between.

[grue 1]

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I say give her a second chance. If she fucks it up this time lose her number and walk away. Let some other sucker deal with that bullshit.

This -was- the second chance

cavete terrae.

[Buried 0]

she may not be the gal you want to go out with.

I've had one girl cancel on short notice twice.. once after tix for a show were purchased (she didn't know). I just went with a friend and he paid for drinks. No biggie, plus i knew why she cancelled. No call or no reason before or even after is totally unacceptable.

Where is my fizzy-lifting drink?

[DrunkMonkey 0]

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I say give her a second chance. If she fucks it up this time lose her number and walk away. Let some other sucker deal with that bullshit.

This -was- the second chance

See the little red pillow handle on your right side? PULL IT!

[skysprite 0]

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I say give her a second chance. If she fucks it up this time lose her number and walk away. Let some other sucker deal with that bullshit.

This -was- the second chance

See the little red pillow handle on your right side? PULL IT!

Seconded. She doesn't sound like she's worth the trouble.

~skysprite

[ham 0]

She is a flake.

It's time to say Next....

[Cyanide41 0]

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This -was- the second chance

Oh fuck that bro! Break contact now.
She is either:
A) Trying to make you chace her because she needs attention
B) Unstable
C) not interested


Don't try to understand her, you never will. I was talking with this girl for a while who was a cop. She seemed really interested but then one day out of NOWHERE she stopped returning my calls. WTF??? So I left her a last message saying adios and if I was wrong then she has my number. Neither of us have heard from each other since. I still haven't the slightest clue.

JAMES

[gmittar 0]

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I'm the guy that's too nice to date

Here is your problem bud. I'm sorry, but guys that girls describe as NICE almost never get described by them as anything else. And their friends are nice. You can be nice, just don't make it your defining trait. Most nice guys lack confidence and that is what women are looking for, wether they admit it or not.

Don't be a prick, but don't be nice either. It may sound counter intuitive, but if being nice hasn't worked so far, you may think about changing it.

|>.<|
Seriously, W.T.F. mate?

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[Icon134 0]

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Here is your problem bud. I'm sorry, but guys that girls describe as NICE almost never get described by them as anything else. And their friends are nice. You can be nice, just don't make it your defining trait. Most nice guys lack confidence and that is what women are looking for, wether they admit it or not.

This is a line of BS as far as I'm concerned... like the other two guys in this discussion I'm always lumped into the "Nice" guy category... and yet all the women that lump me into that category insist that someday I'll find the right one...

personally I'm at the point where I just don't care about it anymore...

Livin' on the Edge... sleeping with my rigger's wife...

[gmittar 0]

You don't have to believe it for it to be true. Here's another fact that will probably piss people off. Women will rarely tell a guy what he's doing wrong, in fact, they usually don't know.

|>.<|
Seriously, W.T.F. mate?