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dzdiva

Why?

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Why do we press harder on a remote control when we know the
batteries are getting weak?

Why do banks charge a fee on "insufficient funds" when they
know there is not enough?

Why does someone believe you when you say there are four
billion stars, but has to touch it when you say the paint is wet?

Why doesn't glue stick to the bottle?

Why do they use sterilized needles for death by lethal injection?

Why doesn't Tarzan have a beard?

Why does Superman stop bullets with his chest, but ducks when you throw a revolver at him?

Why do Kamikaze pilots wear helmets?

Whose idea was it to put an "S" in the word "lisp"?

If people evolved from apes, why are there still apes?

Why is it that no matter what color bubble bath you use the bubbles are always white?

Is there ever a day that mattresses are not on sale?

Why do people constantly return to the refrigerator with hopes that something new to eat will have materialized?

Why do people keep running over a string a dozen times with their vacuum cleaner, then reach down , pick it up, examine it, then put it down to give the vacuum one more chance?

Why is it that no plastic bag will open from the end you first try?

How do those dead bugs get into those enclosed light fixtures?

When we are in the supermarket and someone rams our ankle
with a shopping cart then apologizes for doing so, why do we say,
"It's all right?" Well, it isn't all right, so why don't we say,
"That hurt, you stupid idiot?"

Why is it that whenever you attempt to catch something that's falling off the table you always manage to knock something else over?

In winter why do we try to keep the house as warm as it was in summer when we complained about the heat?

How come you never hear father-in-law jokes?

If at first you don't succeed, shouldn't you try doing it like your wife told you to do it?

And obviously if at first you don't succeed, then don't take up sky
diving!

And my FAVORITE......
The statistics on sanity are that one out of every four persons is suffering from some sort of mental illness. Think of your three best friends, if they're okay , then it's you!!

:D:D:D
"It's not just a daydream if you choose to make it your life..."


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Why oh why aren't the repost police here yet?????



We fired the old one. You want the job?



Only if it pays alot, I don't have to really do anything, and people do everything I tell them to:)
otherwise just round up that crazyivan guy

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Why oh why aren't the repost police here yet?????



We fired the old one. You want the job?



Only if it pays alot, I don't have to really do anything, and people do everything I tell them to:)
otherwise just round up that crazyivan guy



But if you do a good job, you could view it as a possible stepping stone to being a Moderator. ;)

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But if you do a good job, you could view it as a possible stepping stone to being a Moderator.;)


But there's no porn forum on here!;)



It could happen if Pornographic Skydiving Competitions became popular. How many disciplines can you think of? Heads down, accuracy etc?

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I can answer a few of these! ;)

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Why do they use sterilized needles for death by lethal injection?



Because after the tax payers have already spent about 2 million dollars keeping the person alive for the last 20+ years on death row, we might as will spend the extra $15 so their arm doesnt get infected. :S

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If people evolved from apes, why are there still apes?



Some still are. ;)

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Why is it that no matter what color bubble bath you use the bubbles are always white?



Bubbles are clear. :|

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When we are in the supermarket and someone rams our ankle
with a shopping cart then apologizes for doing so, why do we say,
"It's all right?" Well, it isn't all right, so why don't we say,
"That hurt, you stupid idiot?"



As they are spitting out their teeth. B|

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How come you never hear father-in-law jokes?



Because father-in-laws dont usually BITCH! ;)

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If at first you don't succeed, shouldn't you try doing it like your wife told you to do it?



Then every mans life would be a failure. :P

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And obviously if at first you don't succeed, then don't take up sky
diving!



That's only because he tried it his wifes way the first time. :P



Be safe.
Ed
www.WestCoastWingsuits.com
www.PrecisionSkydiving.com

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Why do males (from potty training to old men) aim at anything in a urinal or bowl?
A= 1st shooting weapon from child hood:)
Why do I have my jump #'s and we started in this sport the same year?
a=Divorce:|............:)
_______________________________
If I could be a Super Hero,
I chose to be: "GRANT-A-CLAUS". and work 365 days a Year.
http://www.hangout.no/speednews/

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Why do males (from potty training to old men) aim at anything in a urinal or bowl?
A= 1st shooting weapon from child hood:)
Why do I have my jump #'s and we started in this sport the same year?
a=Divorce:|............:)



Because pee can actually break stuff up, makes the experience much more fun! Oooh look, a stray turd, BAM! No more stray turd:P

|>.<|
Seriously, W.T.F. mate?

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why is it that married men live longer than single men but married men are more willing to die?



Do you mean?

Q. "Why do married men usually die before their wives?

A= "Because they want to." :|:D



Be safe.
Ed
www.WestCoastWingsuits.com
www.PrecisionSkydiving.com

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