Funny Signs

[boinky 0]

1. In an office:

TOILET OUT OF ORDER......
PLEASE USE FLOOR BELOW

2. In a Laundromat:

AUTOMATIC WASHING MACHINES: PLEASE REMOVE ALL YOUR CLOTHES WHEN THE LIGHT GOES OUT

3. In a London department store:

BARGAIN BASEMENT UPSTAIRS

4. In an office:

WOULD THE PERSON WHO TOOK THE STEP LADDER YESTERDAY PLEASE BRING IT BACK OR
. . .FURTHER STEPS WILL BE TAKEN

5. In an office:

AFTER TEA BREAK STAFF SHOULD EMPTY THE TEAPOT AND STAND UPSIDE DOWN ON THE DRAINING BOARD

6. Outside a secondhand shop:

WE EXCHANGE ANYTHING - BICYCLES, WASHING MACHINES, ETC. WHY NOT BRING YOUR WIFE ALONG AND GET A WONDERFUL BARGAIN?

7. Notice in health food shop window:

CLOSED DUE TO ILLNESS

8. Spotted in a safari park:

ELEPHANTS PLEASE STAY IN YOUR CAR

9. Seen during a conference:

FOR ANYONE WHO HAS CHILDREN AND DOESN'T KNOW IT, THERE IS A DAY CARE ON THE 1ST FLOOR

10. Notice in a farmer's field:

THE FARMER ALLOWS WALKERS TO CROSS THE FIELD FOR FREE, BUT THE BULL CHARGES.

11. On a repair shop door:

WE CAN REPAIR ANYTHING. (PLEASE KNOCK HARD ON THE DOOR - THE BELL DOESN'T WORK) We all need a good laugh, keep on smiling

Nina

Are we called "DAWGs" because we stick our noses up people's butts? (RIP Buzz)
Yep, you're a postwhore-billyvance

[wartload 0]

I just had to replace my mailbox and the post that it once sat upon ... before a truck ran a poor lady off the road.

Anyway, I found the directions for installing the post to be interesting. Part of it said, "Using a sledgehammer, gently drive the post ...."

[ccowden 0]

I always liked:

On a church bulliten board-

"The New Mothers group will meet every Tuesday at 7pm. All women wishing to become New Mothers should see the pastor in his office after worship."

[boinky 0]

Quote

All women wishing to become New Mothers should see the pastor in his office after worship.

HAHAHAHAHA

Wanna' know the sad thing though? I worked at a church when I was young, naivee and impressionable. The pastor called the members bitches behind their backs, the assistant pastor eventually ran off with one of the members and the two choir directors were so gay.....well, you get the picture.

Nina

Are we called "DAWGs" because we stick our noses up people's butts? (RIP Buzz)
Yep, you're a postwhore-billyvance

[wildcard451 0]

Quote

Wanna' know the sad thing though? I worked at a church when I was young, naivee and impressionable. The pastor called the members bitches behind their backs, the assistant pastor eventually ran off with one of the members and the two choir directors were so gay.....well, you get the picture.

Southern Baptist?

/To all those with their panties in a wad, I am not trying to move this to SC, but rather poke fun at the religion I was raised. All complaints may be addressed to the brick wall out back. Thank you and have a nice day.

[boinky 0]

Quote

Southern Baptist?

Sadly....yes. Sigh....

This is a major reason why I don't attend a physical church now. I can have my beliefs and morals without having to report in to someone who very possibly could have less of those than me!

Nina

Are we called "DAWGs" because we stick our noses up people's butts? (RIP Buzz)
Yep, you're a postwhore-billyvance

[wildcard451 0]

Holy shit......that makes it even more hillarious.

/walked out 10 years ago for similar reasons.



//But damn those are some funny signs!!!!

[wartload 0]

Quote

This is a major reason why I don't attend a physical church now. I can have my beliefs and morals without having to report in to someone who very possibly could have less of those than me!

You can join my online church, then. I'm actually an ordained minister (no sh**!). My church believes very strongly in an almighty power, but we aren't nit-picky about how you personally define your own morality, your denomination, etc.

[sickandtwisted 0]

Road sign:

(in bold letters)
Caution
This sign has sharp edges
Do not touch the edges of this sign

(in fine print)
also, the bridge is out ahead

Skymama stalker #69!!!!

[billvon 3,058]

Road sign north of Boston:

No right turn
Exit right

[sickandtwisted 0]

Have you seen this sign at Mcdonalds?

Parking
for
drive-thru
service
only

Thank you

What's that all about?

Skymama stalker #69!!!!

[JustaBill 0]

My favorite sign, seen on a radiator repair shop:

"Mr Radiator a nice place to take a leak"

also on a vacuum repair shop:

"Does your vacuum suck, if not we can help"

------------------------------------------------
I've done so much, with so little, for so long
I'm now expected to do everything with nothing forever

[foxyroxtail 0]

"Slow children ahead"

I think that one's just mean.

________________________________________

[ccowden 0]

Almost as mean as:

"Blind driveway"

[AiRpollUtiOn 0]

Caution Wet Floor
A sign the cleaning crew puts up in the hallway of the office building where I work after cleaning.

A colleague's name is Floor.

"Don't make me come down there" - God.

My site:http://www.skystudio.nl/video.html
Some of my vids: http://www.youtube.com/user/TomSkyStudio

[foxyroxtail 0]

Here's one not to take literally:

"do not pass"

________________________________________

[Rebecca 0]

Female?

you've got to ask yourself one question: 'Do I feel loquacious?' -- well do you, punk?

[AiRpollUtiOn 0]

yep

"Don't make me come down there" - God.

My site:http://www.skystudio.nl/video.html
Some of my vids: http://www.youtube.com/user/TomSkyStudio

[ccowden 0]

I posted this one awhile back.

[ham 0]

Road sign on I45 S to Galveston

Texas City Dike Recreation Area

[mnealtx 0]

Quote

Almost as mean as:

"Blind driveway"

Not a sign, but just *WHY* the hell do they put Braille on *DRIVE-UP ATM'S*???????

Mike
I love you, Shannon and Jim.
POPS 9708 , SCR 14706

[NWFlyer 2]

The bathroom in my office always cracks me up. There's a sign in the stall that says "Please do not put foreign objects in toilet." Umm...

"There is only one basic human right, the right to do as you damn well please. And with it comes the only basic human duty, the duty to take the consequences." -P.J. O'Rourke

[boinky 0]

Oh Chris....

That was AWFUL!!!!

Nina

Are we called "DAWGs" because we stick our noses up people's butts? (RIP Buzz)
Yep, you're a postwhore-billyvance

[ccowden 0]

Simple. They make the key pads in one style to save on costs. So they are ALL brail.

[mnealtx 0]

Quote

Simple. They make the key pads in one style to save on costs. So they are ALL brail.

Oh, thanks, King Hugslut... just RUIN my rant!!

Mike
I love you, Shannon and Jim.
POPS 9708 , SCR 14706