Cheaters! Have you learned???

[weegegirl 2]

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People do mature...

You mean some people mature.

[jumper03 0]

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Everyone is imperfect. Everyone screws up. Everyone is weak in some way. To judge like that would be hypocritical IMHO, unless you never ever screw up or hurt someone in a selfish way.

Agreed and just want to add, yes, everyone screws up. That is what forgiveness is for. But what burns my butter is when someone screws up, then lies to you about it to save their ass or make themself look better. In the end it just makes it worse.

If you trip and fall, tell me and I'll gladly help you up.

Scars remind us that the past is real

[Conundrum 1]

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Everyone is imperfect. Everyone screws up. Everyone is weak in some way. To judge like that would be hypocritical IMHO, unless you never ever screw up or hurt someone in a selfish way.

Not everyone cheats and that's the issue at hand here. I still stand by my statement.

[Nightingale 0]

I think some allowances for maturity or lack thereof need to be given, as well as a consideration of the nature of the relationship. Was it high school or college kids just having fun, or was it a serious relationship?

Oh...Rebecca-

It isn't the act of cheating itself that disgusts me, it's the lack of respect that the cheater is showing towards his/her partner.

[Rebecca 0]

That's cool.

I guess where I was going with that (in my head) is along the lines of what Jumper03 was talking about - taking responsibility for your actions. That's the rub, and that's (to me) the difference between a 'bad' person and a 'not-bad' person where cheating is concerned.

It's not OK. It's never OK. But is someone who screws up once and than owns up and learns a hard lesson a 'bad' person or disgusting? Not necessarily.

Is someone who always cheats, lies about it, and treats others carelessly a 'bad' person? Probably, but then those people get what's coming to them - a life of emptiness devoid of love and trust.

you've got to ask yourself one question: 'Do I feel loquacious?' -- well do you, punk?

[weegegirl 2]

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That's cool.

I guess where I was going with that (in my head) is along the lines of what Jumper03 was talking about - taking responsibility for your actions. That's the rub, and that's (to me) the difference between a 'bad' person and a 'not-bad' person where cheating is concerned.

It's not OK. It's never OK. But is someone who screws up once and than owns up and learns a hard lesson a 'bad' person or disgusting? Not necessarily.

Is someone who always cheats, lies about it, and treats others carelessly a 'bad' person? Probably, but then those people get what's coming to them - a life of emptiness devoid of love and trust.

i agree. mistakes happen. but you should tell the person right away.... not try to cover it up and let a relationship just go on for a long time without coming clean. that's just ruthless. in fact, i don't think you can go any lower than that.

yeah.... those people usually self-destruct. they get what's coming to them in the end.

[Conundrum 1]

I see what you're saying. I guess because I've been cheated on, I really really really dislike cheaters. I just see no reason for it at all and I'd never forgive someone for doing it to me, no matter how remorseful they were.

[Darius11 12]

I've never cheated, and have no use for people that do.

I'd rather be hated for who I am, than loved for who I am not." - Kurt Cobain

[livendive 8]

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hahaha.... for whatever reason, i just started thinking about this. rather than start a fresh post, i thought i would bump this one. there are so many insightful comments on this one already.

I haven't done it and never will. Knowing how much it sucks to be cheated on, I just couldn't do that to another person, especially someone I care about.

Blues,
Dave

"I AM A PROFESSIONAL EXTREME ATHLETE!"
(drink Mountain Dew)

[gjhdiver 0]

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I couldn't handle even imagining someone I was physically close to being that physically close to someone else while I was somewhere else thinking they were being faithful. Also, orgasm involved surrendering to the person you're with. It would be hard to handle your SO surrending to another in your absence.

Which shows you have a basic misunderstanding of men's views of sex. Women are way more emotionally involved in the sexual act than men. Men are basically as faithful as their options, as Chris Rock likes to say. A man can sleep around without much emotional involvement and compartmentalize that behaviour to keep it separate from his primary relationship very easily.

Just because a guy is fucking around doesn't mean that he doesn't like his SO. (It doesn't make him a saint either.) It usually means that he has the means, motive and opportunity to get away with it. There's a reason that strip joints have women stripping for men and not the other way around. Asking a guy if he's had enough sex is like asking a dog if he's had enough to eat yet.

[boinky 0]

I've been married 3 times. Different types of men, or so I thought....Each of them eventually cheated on me.

So is the fault in them, or is there something wrong with me? Is there something about me that makes men want to cheat on me? "Oh, you're a good woman and I want you around to take care of me, but I don't want to have sex with just you."

It sucks and it hurts! [B]BADLY I have mental scars from these relationships and I don't think I'm good enough for anyone now.

If I ever get fortunate enough to have a serious relationship with a man again, he'll know everything about my past and what I expect from the future. I might even want to have someone who's had the same experience as me. That way, he knows where I am coming from first hand is more willing to "Do the right thing."

Nina

Are we called "DAWGs" because we stick our noses up people's butts? (RIP Buzz)
Yep, you're a postwhore-billyvance

[weegegirl 2]

It's definitely NOT you! I've been cheated on by guys that I didn't think were capable of doing something that low, disrespectful, dishonest, and horrible. Damn, I even trusted them when they looked into my eyes and swore to me on everything they own they would never do something like that and that they loved me.

Cheating is NOT your fault. Cheaters are dirty and cheap people. You deserve way better than that.

[Vallerina 2]

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Wait...did I cheat on someone yesterday or something....

Yes.........and I'm crushed. You brazen hussy you!

hehehe

mh

.

SHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

There's a thin line between Saturday night and Sunday morning

[kelel01 1]

I don't think there are many guys out there who don't cheat. The more I observe other people, talk to other people, etc., the more I think being faithful for a lifetime might be a pipe dream.

Now, if we started having sex at 12 and died at 30 like the cavemen did, it might be possible, but . . .

[TypicalFish 0]

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So is the fault in them, or is there something wrong with me? Is there something about me that makes men want to cheat on me?

In no way, shape, or form is it you. Or your fault.

No matter what shape the relationship is in, no matter how bad off it is, that person still makes a CHOICE to cheat on you. The responsibility is their's and their's alone.

"I gargle no man's balls..." ussfpa on SOCNET

[boinky 0]

Although I am pretty mentally scarred, I refuse to give up hope. I have to believe that there are some good men out there who would give everything for a kind, loving, intelligent FAITHFUL woman to be by their side.

Nina

Are we called "DAWGs" because we stick our noses up people's butts? (RIP Buzz)
Yep, you're a postwhore-billyvance

[Vallerina 2]

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I don't think there are many guys out there who don't cheat.

Well, isn't it in marriages that more than 50% of men cheat? I imagine that statistic is MUCH higher for regular relationships. I know the % of women cheating is climbing, too.

Another question, how many of you sit down with someone you're in a relationship with and say, "This is acceptable. This is not acceptable,"?

There's a thin line between Saturday night and Sunday morning

[Remster 30]

Well, I dont cheat and never have...























Well, I did have some KK yesterday... doesn that count?

Remster

[TypicalFish 0]

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Another question, how many of you sit down with someone you're in a relationship with and say, "This is acceptable. This is not acceptable,"?

The follow-up question to that is: "How many of you listen?"

"I gargle no man's balls..." ussfpa on SOCNET

[weegegirl 2]

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Although I am pretty mentally scarred, I refuse to give up hope. I have to believe that there are some good men out there who would give everything for a kind, loving, intelligent FAITHFUL woman to be by their side.

I'm pretty close to giving up faith. Just when you think you are with "the one".... the theory proves itself again.

[Guest]

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That's cool.

I guess where I was going with that (in my head) is along the lines of what Jumper03 was talking about - taking responsibility for your actions. That's the rub, and that's (to me) the difference between a 'bad' person and a 'not-bad' person where cheating is concerned.

It's not OK. It's never OK. But is someone who screws up once and than owns up and learns a hard lesson a 'bad' person or disgusting? Not necessarily.

Is someone who always cheats, lies about it, and treats others carelessly a 'bad' person? Probably, but then those people get what's coming to them - a life of emptiness devoid of love and trust.

True words. That's their payback, and it's a sad coin indeed.

mh

"The mouse does not know life until it is in the mouth of the cat."

[boinky 0]

OK...last marriage for point of reference.

He was 6'0"and 330 lbs. Red head, freckled..not what anyone would call a "looker" by no means.

3 years ago, I weighed almost 210 lbs. I am 5'2". I started skydiving and lost almost 30 pounds. I was like a whole new woman. I got a new attitude and became a younger, more open minded, creative woman. If you ask anyone, they would tell you that I am 100% opposite of who I was in 2001 and before.

It didn't help. He still cheated and flaunted his indiscretions in my face. But I still have to think I was lacking in some department for him to not want to be faithful either before or after becoming the "new Nina."

Nina

Are we called "DAWGs" because we stick our noses up people's butts? (RIP Buzz)
Yep, you're a postwhore-billyvance

[plowdirt 0]

I don't look at it that way,(cheating) For me it would be a finallity if thats a word the end thats it moving on. If you cheat and go back now thats cheeting. Do yourself the favor don't go back, for one reason or the other you took the step for a reason, wheather it a step foreward or backwords it's a step in another direction.

WHAT IS CONSIDERED CHEATING? The obviouse, but what else?

[Vallerina 2]

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Well, I did have some KK yesterday... doesn that count?

Yes, you can't disregard it as "poor taste."

There's a thin line between Saturday night and Sunday morning

[TypicalFish 0]

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But I still have to think I was lacking in some department for him to not wantt to be faithful either before or after becoming the "new Nina."

Darling, the only thing that was lacking was his self control and integrity. If he had some problem with you (and all relationships do), then he should have told you and worked with you to resolve it.

"I gargle no man's balls..." ussfpa on SOCNET