mnealtx 0 #1 April 4, 2005 Armadillos sleep in the middle of the road with all four feet in the air. There are 5,000 types of snakes and 4,998 live in Texas. There are 10,000 types of spiders. All 10,000 live in Texas, plus a few no one has ever seen before. Raccoons will test your melon crop and let you know when they are ripe. If it grows, it will stick you. If it crawls, it will bite you! Nothing will kill a mesquite tree. There are valid reasons some people put razor wire around their house. A tractor is NOT an all terrain vehicle. They do get stuck. The wind blows at 90 mph from Oct 2 till June 25; then it stops totally until October 2. Onced and twiced are words. Coldbeer is one word. People actually grow and eat okra. Green grass DOES burn. When you live in the country you don't have to buy a dog. City people drop them off at your front gate in the middle of the night. The sound of coyotes howling at night only sounds good for the first few weeks. When a buzzard sits on the fence and stares at you, it's time to see a doctor. Fix-in-to is one word. There ain't no such thing as "lunch". There is only dinner and then there's supper. "Sweetened ice tea" is appropriate for all meals and you start drinking it when you are two. Backwards and forwards means I know everything about you. "Jeet?" is actually a phrase meaning, "did you eat?" You don't have to wear a watch because it doesn't matter what time it is. You work until you're done or it's too dark to see. You measure distance in minutes. You can switch from "heat" to "A/C" and back in the same day. Stores don't have bags, they have sacks. You see a car with the engine running in the Wal-mart parking lot with no one in it, no matter what time of the year. All the festivals across the state are named after a fruit or a vegetable. You install security lights on your house and garage and leave both unlocked. You carry jumper cables for your own car. You know what "cow tipping" and "snipe hunting" are. You only have four spices in your kitchen: Salt, Pepper, Catsup, and Tabasco. You think everyone from north of Dallas has an accent. Sexy underwear is a tee shirt and boxer shorts. The local papers covers national and international news on one page but requires six pages to cover Friday night high school football. The first day of deer season is a national holiday. You know which leaves make good toilet paper. You find 100 degrees a "tad" warm. All four seasons are: Almost summer, summer, still summer and Christmas. You know whether another Texan is from East, West, North, or South Texas as soon as he opens his mouth. Going to Wal-mart is a favorite past-time known as "goin Wal-Martin" or "off to Wally-world." You describe the first cool snap (below 70 degrees) as good chili weather. A carbonated soft drink isn't a soda, cola, or pop.... It's a Coke regardless of brand or flavor.Mike I love you, Shannon and Jim. POPS 9708 , SCR 14706 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
BRYANGOESBOOM 0 #2 April 4, 2005 LMAO i love texas Not only will you look better, feel better, and fuck better; you'll have significantly increased your life expectancy. --Douva Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
DShiznit 0 #3 April 4, 2005 Ain't that the truth!! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
CSpenceFLY 1 #4 April 4, 2005 This is good to know for all of us headed to Skyfest. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
mnealtx 0 #5 April 4, 2005 Yeah, y'all *WOULD* schedule the boogie for a couple weeks after I'm done with vacation.... I'm gonna sic all the pointy/spiny things on ya before I leave!! Mike I love you, Shannon and Jim. POPS 9708 , SCR 14706 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
flyangel2 2 #6 April 4, 2005 Quote If it crawls, it will bite you! You forgot to mention those damn mosquitoes My perfume of choice while in Texas is OffMay your trails be crooked, winding, lonesome, dangerous, leading to the most amazing view. May your mountains rise into and above the clouds. - Edward Abbey Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Beerlight 0 #7 April 4, 2005 Quote Quote If it crawls, it will bite you! You forgot to mention those damn mosquitoes My perfume of choice while in Texas is Off Aw now, them "skeeters" aren't that bad.... Although (and this is for you pilots), last summer one was preparing to land on me to suck my blood and I heard him call "gear", "flaps" just before he landed.... Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
mnealtx 0 #8 April 4, 2005 Quote Quote Quote If it crawls, it will bite you! You forgot to mention those damn mosquitoes My perfume of choice while in Texas is Off Aw now, them "skeeters" aren't that bad.... Although (and this is for you pilots), last summer one was preparing to land on me to suck my blood and I heard him call "gear", "flaps" just before he landed.... That's nothing... last year, I heard a couple talking...the first one said "Should we eat him here or take him back home?" and the second one said "Lets eat him here - if we take him home the big ones will get him!" South Texas and Louisiana... onlly places I've been with skeeters big enough to screw a turkey, flat-footed.... Mike I love you, Shannon and Jim. POPS 9708 , SCR 14706 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
boinky 0 #9 April 4, 2005 Is this your way of warning me off? If so, I ain't skeered. Nina Are we called "DAWGs" because we stick our noses up people's butts? (RIP Buzz) Yep, you're a postwhore-billyvance Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
CSpenceFLY 1 #10 April 4, 2005 Quote Is this your way of warning me off? If so, I ain't skeered. She doesn't show up a Boogies anyway. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
boinky 0 #11 April 4, 2005 Quote She doesn't show up a Boogies anyway. It's a good thing I wasn't talking about buying the underwear for a boogie then, huh? Nina Are we called "DAWGs" because we stick our noses up people's butts? (RIP Buzz) Yep, you're a postwhore-billyvance Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
DrunkMonkey 0 #12 April 4, 2005 You forgot to explain "red draws." I'd never seen such a thing until I was at a Wichita Falls bar. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
mnealtx 0 #13 April 4, 2005 Never heard of 'em.... got an idea what they COULD be, but....Mike I love you, Shannon and Jim. POPS 9708 , SCR 14706 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
DrunkMonkey 0 #14 April 4, 2005 Quote Never heard of 'em.... got an idea what they COULD be, but.... Beer w/a bit of tomato juice in it. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
BRYANGOESBOOM 0 #15 April 4, 2005 Clamato and a coldbeer its the cure for a bad hangover Not only will you look better, feel better, and fuck better; you'll have significantly increased your life expectancy. --Douva Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Shotgun 1 #16 April 4, 2005 Quote When a buzzard sits on the fence and stares at you, it's time to see a doctor. When there were buzzards around, we used to lie on the ground as still as we could be and wait for the buzzards to start circling above us. It was great entertainment as a kid. And the beer and tomato juice thing - I made those sometimes when I was bartending in Midland, but I think we called them "Red Eyes". Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Ncrowe 0 #17 April 4, 2005 Red Draws?....thats a new one to me as well........and Oakra is damn good....especially in a bloody mary.. "Don't Mess Around With the Guy in Shades- Oh No!!! " Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
brits17 0 #18 April 4, 2005 Hehe ain't it a great state? Just Friday night a few of us were hanging out, drinking beers watching a comedy that inspired Ramon to show off his rifle. Then goes Zennie back up the stairs to bring down his glock. Before you know it, we've got 3 handguns circulating with a couple rifles, everyone ooo-in and awww-in at the toys. Heh, only in Texas... can we be so entertained with beer and unloaded guns. _______________________ aerialkinetics.com Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
mnealtx 0 #19 April 4, 2005 Alcohol, tobacco and firearms....who brought the chips? Mike I love you, Shannon and Jim. POPS 9708 , SCR 14706 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
jumpergirl 0 #20 April 4, 2005 Quote A carbonated soft drink isn't a soda, cola, or pop.... It's a Coke regardless of brand or flavor AMEN!!!! Only those of us lucky enough to be from Texas know this! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
mnealtx 0 #21 April 4, 2005 Yep!! "I'll have a Coke" "A Coke Coke or a Pepsi Coke?" Mike I love you, Shannon and Jim. POPS 9708 , SCR 14706 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
justinb138 0 #22 April 4, 2005 Quote Yep!! "I'll have a Coke" "A Coke Coke or a Pepsi Coke?" or Quote "Grab me a Coke." "Ok what kind?" "Dr. Pepper." Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
jumpergirl 0 #23 April 4, 2005 Quote "Grab me a Coke." "Ok what kind?" "Dr. Pepper." EXACTLY!! "Wanna Coke?" "Sure. I'll take a Sprite." Why is that so difficult for others to understand? Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
beowulf 1 #24 April 4, 2005 It gets confusing when you really do want a Coca Cola Coke "What kinda coke you want?" "I wanna coke coke." Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
jumpergirl 0 #25 April 4, 2005 I just say, "Regular Coke" or sometimes "Diet Coke." Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
