Am I To Harsh?

[BRYANGOESBOOM 0]

ok so the deal is i live with my gf although she doesnt pay rent or help out what so ever with the bills and i dont have a problem with that

few days ago i was cleaning up the apartment and she always throws her dirty shirts in the same spot so i pick them up to wash them and see this triangle shaped inprint on the carpet (iron shaped inprint) she had droped the iron on the carpet and didnt have enough brain power to pick it up and was hiding it from me for at least 3 months

so i got really pissed and said she had to come up with the money for the deposit $700 is a lil steep for a unemployed student ........

should i stand my ground and collect the money are tell her it was just a mistake and not to worry about it ?

Not only will you look better, feel better, and fuck better; you'll have significantly increased your life expectancy. --Douva

[DeNReN 0]

A piece can prob be seamed in to replace the damaged area...check with the super for a chunk of the same carpet or hack a piece out of a closet...any professional carpet layer can do the repair .....and make sure she pays the bill

[skymama 37]

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few days ago i was cleaning up the apartment and she always throws her dirty shirts in the same spot so i pick them up to wash them

Please, oh please buy her a hamper and don't pick up after her anymore. She's a big girl! She should have told you about the iron spot as soon as it happened. Since she doesn't contribute to anything else, I definitely think she should pay for it.

She is Da Man, and you better not mess with Da Man,
because she will lay some keepdown on you faster than, well, really fast. ~Billvon

[SkiD_PL8 0]

Exactly, all you have to do is make it right and you won't lose your deposit. However at many apartments you could steam the carpets and re-paint the walls and still wouldnt get all of your deposit back. As for the gf that is up to you, to me it would depend on why she hid it from me.

Greenie in training.

[heidihagen 0]

i agree. she might need a little time to come up with it being an unemployed student... but there are still ways of setting aside $ (plus selling back books should make a nice chunk, depending on her major--wahoo!)

but.... whhhhhhy did she hide it? seems a little immature to me, but we all make mistakes at this point, she probably wants to do whatever it takes to help out. too bad she learned responsibility the hard way.

out of curiosity, has she ever had a roomate before? (male or female) do her parents "help" her out at all?

cheers,
heidi

i didn't lose my mind, i sold it on ebay. .:need a container to fit 5'4", 110 lb. cypres ready & able to fit a 170 main (or slightly smaller):.[/ce

[misskriss 0]

Let me play devil's advocate for a second. Why would she be afraid to tell you that she burned the carpet? Do you enjoy supporting her or does it make you feel more in control of the relationship by having her being dependent on you or are you just being a nice guy? And if you are going to take that responsibility and she burns the carpet then it sucks but it was an accident. I can't imagine being afraid to tell my fiance anything at all. If you aren't happy footing the whole bill then talk to her about maybe helping out if she can or that you would appreciate her picking up her stuff and helping out. If she doesn't want to then maybe she isn't the girl for you...

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ok so the deal is i live with my gf although she doesnt pay rent or help out what so ever with the bills and and i dont have a problem with that

I think maybe you do have a problem with it..

Remember.. I'm not saying all of this is the case but just throwing a different observation out there.

[BRYANGOESBOOM 0]

well i dont have a problem paying for everything but the deal started out with her cooking and cleaning and that would be enough so far she has cooked 6 times in 8 months and cleaning forget about it .............so i think i really got pissed when this happend and realized she was not living up to her part of the deal .........and hiding it from me really got under my skin ......since she im only home for 2 weeks out of the month trust is a big thing for me

she says she was yelled at as a child and hates for me to raise my voice .............and ill admit i get a lil animated when somthing goes wrong i dont put her down or disrespect her in any way i just get taken a back by the lack of thinking sometimes and get a lil excited all the while telling her "it wasnt intentional and its ok"


i was taught at a early age if you break it you buy it no matter what you have to go thru to make it right be sure that you try your hardest

i guess in a way im trying to get her to understand that it is verry disrespectfull to damage something not say anything about it and not offer up the $$ to repair the damaged item

i think the disrespect is what i have the problem with not the $$

Not only will you look better, feel better, and fuck better; you'll have significantly increased your life expectancy. --Douva

[soulshine 0]

It sounds like your girl is a bit immature and you are only supporting her so she can continue being as such. Why grow up and take care of yourself if someone else is going to do it for you? If she burned the carpet then stand your ground and have her pay to replace it.

Personally, I am way too independant to let a man support me, even as a broke student, and if I burned the carpet I would insist on fixing it. Try the carpet remnant thing first before you have her pay the full amount.

Also, if she felt the need to hide it then that is a huge red light going off in my head that she is not comfortable talking to you about things. Maybe you could try a different approach to handling tough situaitions such as this one. Remember, without communication your relationship will go to shit.

Bombing for peace is like fucking for virginity!
~DEVIOUS BEEF~~FGF #69~

[littlestranger 0]

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she says she was yelled at as a child and hates for me to raise my voice...

Geez Bryan, don't feel guilty for her miserable childhood, you didn't have anything to do with it...and quit yelling at her.
T.

[BRYANGOESBOOM 0]

pm sent

Not only will you look better, feel better, and fuck better; you'll have significantly increased your life expectancy. --Douva