lightningbugirl 0 #1 March 16, 2005 I know so many people who have so many lovers & friends all over. What's the deal with that? Do you think that's wrong or okay? When does a new friend become a love & not just a lover? Do men & women think differently about this idea? Does it take a while before it becomes a real relationship or do you think it's either love or it isn't. I just found a lot of info. about a guy I've been getting to know. We're not serious or stated exclusive & I have not actually asked about it but I found out he's seeing & sleeping w/several other women. I spoke w/ him Saturday & he made comments about me being the only one & special. Do a lot of men or women do this? I assumed it was a friendship w/ real potential because he was so attentive, I guess that was immature of me. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
SkiD_PL8 0 #2 March 16, 2005 It isn't a guy/girl issue it is merely a matter of preferance and personality. Personally I will see several girls at a time but if one starts to get serious I will break it off with the others. Greenie in training. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
turtlespeed 226 #3 March 16, 2005 Wow - sorry to hear that - Double standards suck - but they exist - Bottom line is that if you tell someone that you are faithful - don't lie. That is just disrespect.I'm not usually into the whole 3-way thing, but you got me a little excited with that. - Skymama BTR #1 / OTB^5 Official #2 / Hellfish #408 / VSCR #108/Tortuga/Orfun Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Frenchy68 0 #4 March 16, 2005 What Turtle said. You can't find love if you don't take chances. And you'll get hurt in the process. But when you hit the jackpot... "For once you have tasted Absinthe you will walk the earth with your eyes turned towards the gutter, for there you have been and there you will long to return." Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Brigitte36 0 #5 March 16, 2005 Most guys will just say anything to just get sex. It's a fact. They will do anything too. It's just the way it is. It's a rare man that knows a good woman's worth. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
WrongWay 0 #6 March 16, 2005 I think aside from the moral dilemma, dating multiple partners would just be way too complicated. I dated around a lot my freshman year of college, but other than that I just haven't dated more than one person at a time. I think not only do you get situations like yours, in which one relationship can develop true feelings and then still have to cut the others loose, but it's just WAY too easy to hurt people in that situation. IMHO, cut him loose. If he's seeing you and sleeping with other women, be it a serious relationship or not, it's not a good situation to be in. Good luck. Wrong Way D #27371 Mal Manera Rodriguez Cajun Chicken Ø Hellfish #451 The wiser wolf prevails. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
WrongWay 0 #7 March 16, 2005 QuoteMost guys will just say anything to just get sex. It's a fact. They will do anything too. It's just the way it is. Ya know, not all guys are like that. Wrong Way D #27371 Mal Manera Rodriguez Cajun Chicken Ø Hellfish #451 The wiser wolf prevails. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
kelel01 1 #8 March 16, 2005 Some people don't want to be exclusive until they're . . . well, exclusive. Until the relationship is defined, you have some wiggle room. Why pass up on a good opportunity for something (someone) else you're not sure about, when you're not breaking any "rules"? Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
turtlespeed 226 #9 March 16, 2005 QuoteQuoteMost guys will just say anything to just get sex. It's a fact. They will do anything too. It's just the way it is. Ya know, not all guys are like that. Some are actually labeled "Nice Guys"I'm not usually into the whole 3-way thing, but you got me a little excited with that. - Skymama BTR #1 / OTB^5 Official #2 / Hellfish #408 / VSCR #108/Tortuga/Orfun Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
antifnsocial 0 #10 March 16, 2005 QuoteSome people don't want to be exclusive until they're . . . well, exclusive. Until the relationship is defined, you have some wiggle room. Why pass up on a good opportunity for something (someone) else you're not sure about, when you're not breaking any "rules"?I agree, I think that a lot of women have a tendency to wait for men to define when they are serious first. Don't suffer girl. Let him know you like him for real. See if he is willing to see just you. Maybe he is waiting for confirmation. If he lies about the others lose him. If that's your avatar then I think someone else will be a long to take his place in no time. Please feel free to reply to my posts and pm's, but only if you're smart enough to understand what they really mean. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
SkydiveNFlorida 0 #11 March 16, 2005 QuoteLet him know you like him for real. See if he is willing to see just you. QuoteI spoke w/ him Saturday & he made comments about me being the only one & special I have to disagree for this case. If she is sure he is seeing others, yet he flat out lied to her about it, I think he is slime and I wouldn't pursue anything more with him. As far as a "moral" dilemma, I don't see one. As long as the other person knows, and it is a mutual agreement I see no problem with it. I would not personally be able to deal with that, but many are and that is fine by me. jmo. -A Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
goose491 0 #12 March 16, 2005 QuoteSome people don't want to be exclusive until they're . . . well, exclusive. Until the relationship is defined, you have some wiggle room. Why pass up on a good opportunity for something (someone) else you're not sure about, when you're not breaking any "rules"? Here Here! We used to ask eachother out on dates to spend time with one another. After a few dates, one might be asked by the other if they wanted to "Go Steady". The very fact that this term exists means that it used to be widely accepted to see different people until you found someone to be... your something special. Our generation seems to have messed it all up. You like a girl/guy, you two do something together (whatever it might be) and all of a sudden, you are bound to being this persons one and only!! It's ridiculous! Don't get me wrong, if a man tells you you are his special something... and you find him to be telling a few others the same thing, you've got a pig on your hands. And it's not a double-standard either.... you girlies are the same and you know it My Karma ran over my Dogma!!! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
lummy 4 #13 March 16, 2005 QuoteMost guys will just say anything to just get sex. It's a fact. They will do anything too. It's just the way it is. Ya know, not all guys are like that. and some girls are. It's not just MAN thingI promise not to TP Davis under canopy.. I promise not to TP Davis under canopy.. eat sushi, get smoochieTTK#1 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
heidihagen 0 #14 March 16, 2005 it's hard to spot who is/isn't genuine sometimes. none of my female friends do this (that i know of!)-- but i do know most of us have fallen for it at some point. i've been lucky (or over cautious?) -- i found out in the early, so he was real easy to get over... and it was more of a learning experience than a good memory. blues, heidii didn't lose my mind, i sold it on ebay. .:need a container to fit 5'4", 110 lb. cypres ready & able to fit a 170 main (or slightly smaller):.[/ce Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Conundrum 1 #15 March 16, 2005 That really sucks, I know how you feel. Most guys will say anything to you to make you feel special then just use you for sex and move on. It's really quite sad and not to mention hurtful. Just gotta keep lookin for the one guy who will be telling the truth when he says you are the only one & special to him. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
airtwardo 7 #16 March 16, 2005 (Not directed at you Heidi..) But it does work BOTH ways! I've been cheated on A LOT more than I ever cheated... Might have been poor taste in women when I was younger... Finally got to point I'd issue the disclaimer about how I would rather get hurt by the truth now than a lie later.. ~ If you choke a Smurf, what color does it turn? ~ Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
swedishcelt 0 #17 March 16, 2005 The fact that you have an open and trusting heart is beautiful Gwen. Don't change just because of this guy. Sounds like he isn't much fun if you're worried about that stuff. Find someone you like more. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Paige 0 #18 March 16, 2005 QuoteQuoteMost guys will just say anything to just get sex. It's a fact. They will do anything too. It's just the way it is. Ya know, not all guys are like that. That's why she said mostTunnel Pink Mafia Delegate www.TunnelPinkMafia.com Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
turtlespeed 226 #19 March 16, 2005 Quote(Not directed at you Heidi..) But it does work BOTH ways! I've been cheated on A LOT more than I ever cheated... Might have been poor taste in women when I was younger... Finally got to point I'd issue the disclaimer about how I would rather get hurt by the truth now than a lie later.. Hence the "Nice Guy's" Post in the pastI'm not usually into the whole 3-way thing, but you got me a little excited with that. - Skymama BTR #1 / OTB^5 Official #2 / Hellfish #408 / VSCR #108/Tortuga/Orfun Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
airtwardo 7 #20 March 16, 2005 Hence the "Nice Guy's" Post in the past *** Yeah~ Nice guys "FINISH LAST!" ...and women seem to LIKE THAT! ~ If you choke a Smurf, what color does it turn? ~ Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Tyrion 0 #21 March 16, 2005 QuoteWe're not serious or stated exclusive & I have not actually asked about it but I found out he's seeing & sleeping w/several other women. I spoke w/ him Saturday & he made comments about me being the only one & special. If he says you're the "only one & special" now and he's sleeping with other people, that's crap. Flat out lying. If you were the "only one" he wouldn't be doing what he's doing. How do you know he doesn't say this to the other girls he's seeing? Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
livendive 8 #22 March 17, 2005 QuoteIt's a rare man that knows a good woman's worth. The reverse is true as well. Most people suck, regardless of gender. Blues, Dave"I AM A PROFESSIONAL EXTREME ATHLETE!" (drink Mountain Dew) Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
GeordieSkydiver 0 #23 March 17, 2005 I'm kinda old-fashioned. I only date one girl at once. Anything else is just disrespectful to me and her. Remember, treat people as you would like to be treat. That also means if YOU wouldn't do it, they shouldn't.Lee _______________________________ In a world full of people, only some want to fly, is that not crazy? http://www.ukskydiver.co.uk Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
vdschoor 0 #24 March 17, 2005 QuoteI'm kinda old-fashioned. I only date one girl at once. Anything else is just disrespectful to me and her. Remember, treat people as you would like to be treat. That also means if YOU wouldn't do it, they shouldn't. I'm with you on this one Why do you date in the first place? Cause you're interested in THAT person right? Then don't mess around with others on the side.. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
pop 0 #25 March 17, 2005 QuoteI'm kinda old-fashioned. I only date one girl at once. Anything else is just disrespectful to me and her. Remember, treat people as you would like to be treat. That also means if YOU wouldn't do it, they shouldn't. I am with you on that....I am like that too7 ounce wonders, music and dogs that are not into beer Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
