Escaped Convict

[beezyshaw 0]

A man escapes from a prison where he's been locked up for 15 years.

He breaks into a house to look for money and guns. Inside, he finds a young couple in bed. He orders the guy out of bed and ties him to a chair.

While tying the homeowner's wife to the bed, the convict gets on top of her, kisses her neck, then gets up and goes into the bathroom.

While he's in there, the husband whispers over to his wife: "Listen, this guy is an escaped convict. Look at his clothes! He's probably spent a lot of time in jail and hasn't seen a woman in years. I saw how he kissed your neck. If he wants sex, don't resist, don't complain... do whatever he tells you. Satisfy him no matter how much he nauseates you. This guy is obviously very dangerous. If he gets angry, he'll kill us both. Be strong, honey. I love you!"

His wife responds: "He wasn't kissing my neck. He was whispering in my ear.

He told me that he's gay, thinks you're cute, and asked if we had any Vaseline. I told him it was in the bathroom. Be strong honey. I love you, too.

[OrangeJumper 0]

LMAO

The Original Cabana Boy!

[PsychoBob 0]

That's a good one!

"I'm not a gynecologist but I will take a look at it"
RB #1295, Smokey Sister #1, HellFish #658, Dirty Sanchez #194, Muff Brothers #3834, POPS #9614, Orfun Foster-Parent?"

[pleifer 0]

nice, did not see that one comming....

_________________________________________
The Angel of Duh has spoke

[jumperconway 0]

That's funny, probably haven't read or heard it in 10 yrs!

[wuffo 1]

That's actually a true story...and my wife still asks me if I ever want to do another 3-way with her and a guy.

[SkiD_PL8 0]

Please tell me the answer is no...

Greenie in training.

[missg8tordivr 0]

***
F LORIDA!

[wuffo 1]

Quote

Please tell me the answer is no...

My answer to my wife when she asks me that is, "honey, I think I'd rather go jump" then she says, "hey, surely you remember, you jumped big-time that night".

[dgskydive 0]

funny stuff Beezy!!!!

Dom

[Buried 0]

Where is my fizzy-lifting drink?

[kai2k1 0]

There's no truer sense of flying than sky diving," Scott Cowan

[skinnyshrek 0]

Hey beezy you up at the Farm this wek-end then?

A little boy hears the word "whorehouse" in school and asks his father what it means.

His father is quite shocked, and replies: "Well, uh... you go there to... have a good time."

The boy starts screaming and hollering that he wants to go there too, but his father insists that he's too young.

Saturday night his dad and a few friends go to "Suzie's" to "have a good time," not knowing the little boy is following them.

After his father leaves, the little boy enters the whorehouse and tells the madame that he too wants to have a good time. She's a bit puzzled at first, but being a kind-hearted lady, she gives him three doughnuts and tells him to leave.

Later that night he comes home, his parents all worried.

His father approaches him first and asks him where he's been.

"IN A WHOREHOUSE!" he screams proudly.

"WHAT? Well... uh... how was it?"

"I managed the first two without any problem, but I just licked the last one."

http://www.skydivethefarm.com

do you realize that when you critisize people you dont know over the internet, you become part of a growing society of twats? ARE YOU ONE OF THEM?