eeneR 3 #1 December 21, 2004 Ok, just curious how everyone feels on this... Would you rather have people be honest with you? Tell you what you want to hear, and sugar coat things? Let you live in a dream world that all is good and well....even if things are wrong? I am a big fan of being honest...about feelings and about life. The truth will go so much farther then lies or even white lies for that (disclaimer, unless it is somethign with a good outcome, suprises etc). I may be angry for something done, but it is far easier to forgive someone then it is to mend broken trust once they Lies have happend. Another peeve....is when people say things they dont really mean...only to "Be Nice". Ok done venting.... Anyway, where does everyone stand with this?She is not a "Dumb Blonde" - She is a "Light-Haired Detour Off The Information Superhighway." eeneR TF#72, FB#4130, Incauto Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
AggieDave 6 #2 December 21, 2004 Truth is very important to me. I want to know the truth, screw trying to "save my feelings." The only untruths I'll use are for fun. For instance, Morgan figured out that I bought her jewelry for Christmas, so I used some untruth to keep her guessing. Sure it was a lie, BUT it served a noble purpose that provides no harm to anyone involved. It just help make her Christmas a little more enjoyable. Sort of like telling kids the lie about Santa. Beyond that I walk a pretty straight line with truth and ethics and would prefer others to do the same (although I can't control that and I know that people tend to not be truthful or ethical). Or maybe I'm just jaded. *shrug*--"When I die, may I be surrounded by scattered chrome and burning gasoline." Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
boinky 0 #3 December 21, 2004 I prefer honesty. But could we sugarcoat it a little so it'll go down better? Sometimes, it's not what you say, it's how you say it.Nina Are we called "DAWGs" because we stick our noses up people's butts? (RIP Buzz) Yep, you're a postwhore-billyvance Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
jumper03 0 #4 December 21, 2004 whoa buddy... I'm just gonna walk away right now before a novel jumps from my finger tips... Ride hard, shoot straight and speak the truth. JumpScars remind us that the past is real Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
AggieDave 6 #5 December 21, 2004 QuoteBut could we sugarcoat it a little so it'll go down better? Sometimes, it's not what you say, it's how you say it. Truth with tact is different then a lie to preserve feelings. Atleast I think so. However, if the use over use of tact walks past the hard line of truth, then its gone too far.--"When I die, may I be surrounded by scattered chrome and burning gasoline." Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
tigra 0 #6 December 21, 2004 OK, but if someone asked you if a pair of jeans made them look "fat" and they kind of did, would you say "yes" knowing that the person would be really hurt (or spend an hour looking for something else to wear?) Some truth really doesn't need to be spelled out. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
AggieDave 6 #7 December 21, 2004 Quote OK, but if someone asked you if a pair of jeans made them look "fat" and they kind of did, would you say "yes" knowing that the person would be really hurt (or spend an hour looking for something else to wear?) Some truth really doesn't need to be spelled out. First of all, I feel like that question is bullshit and a compliment trap. It bugs me when people fish for compliments. When I ask Morgan something like that (i.e. "what do you think of this shirt") I want her to tell me the truth. If she doesn't like it or doesn't think it looks good, then I'll change. Then again, I don't spend much if any time worrying about that. Remember, I also mentioned tact. You don't have to lie and say "no, you look 10lbs lighter..." You can help them pick something else out that they'll look better in.--"When I die, may I be surrounded by scattered chrome and burning gasoline." Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
boinky 0 #8 December 21, 2004 Thank you, Dave. I totally agree. The best sort of honesty is the kind that doesn't kill someone's hope, pride and spirit. You can tell someone they stink at something and be honest, but say it so that they feel they have a chance to improve at it someday. Why kick a person when they're down? Nina Are we called "DAWGs" because we stick our noses up people's butts? (RIP Buzz) Yep, you're a postwhore-billyvance Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
turtlespeed 221 #9 December 21, 2004 Quote Sort of like telling kids the lie about Santa. WHAT? WHAT about Santa!I'm not usually into the whole 3-way thing, but you got me a little excited with that. - Skymama BTR #1 / OTB^5 Official #2 / Hellfish #408 / VSCR #108/Tortuga/Orfun Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
eeneR 3 #10 December 21, 2004 QuoteOK, but if someone asked you if a pair of jeans made them look "fat" and they kind of did, would you say "yes" knowing that the person would be really hurt (or spend an hour looking for something else to wear?) Some truth really doesn't need to be spelled out. I think this is where it is grey...I think being blunt on some things may not be good....this is where tact comes into play. If I had a friend who asked me my opinion on something, i would be as honest as possible with out being brutal....if it was important. Me in the scenario....If it wasnt really really god aweful...I wouldnt worry about it...if it is something they might regret, then yes, but would be very tactful with the situation. I would give as much positive input with out being mean...but still get the point across...with out hurting feelings...but then again...im no walking toothpick, i have stuff I know I look fat in...and frankly dont care ...so unless it is a 300lb girl with little daisy dukes and a half shirt and no one is going to be caused any emotional pain by the action... No worries. This was more directed at human personal interactions.....She is not a "Dumb Blonde" - She is a "Light-Haired Detour Off The Information Superhighway." eeneR TF#72, FB#4130, Incauto Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
AggieDave 6 #11 December 21, 2004 Quoteso unless it is a 300lb girl with little daisy dukes and a half shirt I think I saw her at Wal-Mart last night... --"When I die, may I be surrounded by scattered chrome and burning gasoline." Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
mjosparky 4 #12 December 21, 2004 I am not smart enough to lie. I can't remember what it was I said. I can always remember what the truth is, even if it hurts. SparkyMy idea of a fair fight is clubbing baby seals Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
prepheckt 0 #13 December 21, 2004 I try to be upfront and honest as much as possible, because it works for me and once trust is destroyed, it is very difficult to earn it back."Dancing Argentine Tango is like doing calculus with your feet." -9 toes Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
eeneR 3 #14 December 21, 2004 QuoteI try to be upfront and honest as much as possible, because it works for me and once trust is destroyed, it is very difficult to earn it back. That is the key in my eyes....when someone tells me the truth, exactly how the feel or what is going on...yes it may sting, but in the long run i will have more respect for someone that can tell me the truth...vs someone who choose to "just be nice and say what they think I want to hear not to hurt my feelings" or lie about something. When the lie appears not only are feelings hurt, but then trust is broken...makes you wonder "what else have they lied about?" It is far easier to mend hurt feelings then it is to fix broken trust"She is not a "Dumb Blonde" - She is a "Light-Haired Detour Off The Information Superhighway." eeneR TF#72, FB#4130, Incauto Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Acensky 0 #15 December 21, 2004 Lies hurt more in the long run. Just tell me the flat out truth. HeatherGarbage bags do not make good parachutes. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
flyangel2 2 #16 December 21, 2004 You know me, I don't sugar coat any thing. Many a time I tell my friends the way it is, I give them a good kick in the ass, and tell them to get their head out of that said ass.May your trails be crooked, winding, lonesome, dangerous, leading to the most amazing view. May your mountains rise into and above the clouds. - Edward Abbey Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
lawrocket 3 #17 December 21, 2004 I can handle anything that people tell me. It's what people do not tell me that I should know that bothers me. Being overly honest with people who have asked my opinion has cost me in terms of the "like me" department, but people respect me more in the long run. I say, "Let me have it" and "Let them have it." My wife is hotter than your wife. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
eeneR 3 #18 December 21, 2004 QuoteYou know me, I don't sugar coat any thing. Many a time I tell my friends the way it is, I give them a good kick in the ass, and tell them to get their head out of that said ass. And that is why I love ya Mar She is not a "Dumb Blonde" - She is a "Light-Haired Detour Off The Information Superhighway." eeneR TF#72, FB#4130, Incauto Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
wildblue 7 #19 December 21, 2004 I have found that while 99% of people will tell you they want you to be brutally honest, only about 15% of them actually mean it. Therefore your poll is flawed and meaningless.it's like incest - you're substituting convenience for quality Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
sunshine 2 #20 December 21, 2004 Everyone knows i say it like it is. Sometimes a little bit of hurt saves a whole lotta pain in the long run. ___________________________________________ meow I get a Mike hug! I get a Mike hug! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
eeneR 3 #21 December 21, 2004 Quote have found that while 99% of people will tell you they want you to be brutally honest, only about 15% of them actually mean it. Therefore your poll is flawed and meaningless That would mean the other 84% are liars I do agree that most people say they want the truth...when they dont.... Come on this was just a curiousity question looking for opinion (and yes I know how that goes about opinions) .....sheesh...get your panties out of a wad dude....She is not a "Dumb Blonde" - She is a "Light-Haired Detour Off The Information Superhighway." eeneR TF#72, FB#4130, Incauto Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
boinky 0 #22 December 21, 2004 QuoteI have found that while 99% of people will tell you they want you to be brutally honest, only about 15% of them actually mean it. Therefore your poll is flawed and meaningless. WOW!!! Talk about being brutally honest. The question wasn't about being brutal. Just being honest. I think most of us have concurred that saying the truth in a nice way is the best way (sugarcoat me anyday, sweetie). Nina Are we called "DAWGs" because we stick our noses up people's butts? (RIP Buzz) Yep, you're a postwhore-billyvance Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
wildblue 7 #23 December 21, 2004 QuoteCome on this was just a curiousity question looking for opinion (and yes I know how that goes about opinions) .....sheesh...get your panties out of a wad dude.... Hey, I was just being honest! And I forgot to add the to my first post.it's like incest - you're substituting convenience for quality Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Vallerina 2 #24 December 21, 2004 Actually, people usually don't want to hear someone's brutal opinion because it's just that....an opinion and not necessarily the truth. There's a huge difference.There's a thin line between Saturday night and Sunday morning Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
eeneR 3 #25 December 21, 2004 QuoteHey, I was just being honest! And I forgot to add the to my first post. I knew you were...and blunt too I didnt forget my in my post to ya Not arguing that at all....People say be honest with me...but then when you do they "dont want to hear it" They may think they want the truth, but are really in denial of it She is not a "Dumb Blonde" - She is a "Light-Haired Detour Off The Information Superhighway." eeneR TF#72, FB#4130, Incauto Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
