wildblue 7 #26 December 21, 2004 QuoteActually, people usually don't want to hear someone's brutal opinion because it's just that....an opinion and not necessarily the truth. There's a huge difference. I think that's what she was asking for in the poll though. It's hard to 'sugar coat' facts.it's like incest - you're substituting convenience for quality Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Vallerina 2 #27 December 21, 2004 QuoteIt's hard to 'sugar coat' facts. No, it's not. "You were about the same size as everyone else I've been with." "I basically met the deadline." etc.There's a thin line between Saturday night and Sunday morning Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
eeneR 3 #28 December 21, 2004 QuoteI think that's what she was asking for in the poll though. It's hard to 'sugar coat' facts. What i was looking for was hiding information....the truth and just blowing it off to protect ones feelings.... lets use the fat pants example... Do I look fat in those pants... Brutal Truth......"You look like a sofa that exploded" Truth....."yes" Sugar coated truth...."Well...those pants dont quite look right for you...but these others make you look like you have a sweet ass" Blow off....."sure what ever" Lies to hide the truth and protect feelings......."Oh honey you look beautiful...I like you in anything you wear...." There are lots of ways of being tactful with the truth....im not saying being brutal is correct...just being honest...She is not a "Dumb Blonde" - She is a "Light-Haired Detour Off The Information Superhighway." eeneR TF#72, FB#4130, Incauto Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Vallerina 2 #29 December 21, 2004 QuoteDo I look fat in those pants... This is always what bothers me about pure opinion related questions. I'm an average sized woman. There is one guy I know that only dates really skinny women. To him, I would be fat in any pants. To Sir Mix A Lot, my booty isn't big enough! If I ask for someone's opinion, then I want honesty. If I'm enjoying myself wearing pants I look fat in, then I don't really care, so I don't want to hear brutal honesty (but if I do, I'll roll my eyes.)There's a thin line between Saturday night and Sunday morning Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
wildblue 7 #30 December 21, 2004 QuoteBrutal Truth......"You look like a sofa that exploded" That's not 'Brutal Truth' in my book - that's just trying to be mean. QuoteNo, it's not. "You were about the same size as everyone else I've been with." "I basically met the deadline." etc. That's not really sugar-coating facts, that's giving vague answers.it's like incest - you're substituting convenience for quality Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Vallerina 2 #31 December 21, 2004 QuoteThat's not really sugar-coating facts, that's giving vague answers. Well, I guess I just am not very good at sugar-coating!!! There's a thin line between Saturday night and Sunday morning Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
bobsled92 0 #32 December 21, 2004 Telling the TRUTH is perfect because you'll never get caught in a lie. You have all your cards on the table._______________________________ If I could be a Super Hero, I chose to be: "GRANT-A-CLAUS". and work 365 days a Year. http://www.hangout.no/speednews/ Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
wildblue 7 #33 December 21, 2004 QuoteWell, I guess I just am not very good at sugar-coating!!! Yes you are! At least, I think it was sugar...it's like incest - you're substituting convenience for quality Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
prepheckt 0 #34 December 21, 2004 Quotesugar-coating facts, that's giving vague answers. You could argue that they are one and the same."Dancing Argentine Tango is like doing calculus with your feet." -9 toes Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
eeneR 3 #35 December 21, 2004 QuoteThat's not 'Brutal Truth' in my book - that's just trying to be mean. Um since when did brutal equate to being Nice She is not a "Dumb Blonde" - She is a "Light-Haired Detour Off The Information Superhighway." eeneR TF#72, FB#4130, Incauto Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
ianmdrennan 2 #36 December 21, 2004 I'm definately in favor of telling it like it is, although I'll admit that I'm wrong from time to time. My experience is that most people think they want to hear the truth until they hear it, then they aren't so happy about it. My wife and I have gotten to a 100% honesty point in our relationship (some time back actually). It definately took some adjusting to, but it's a great feeling knowing when someone says something nice, they genuinely mean it and that they'll never blow smoke up your ass. QuoteI may be angry for something done, but it is far easier to forgive someone then it is to mend broken trust once they Lies have happend. Amen. Trust is everything. Truth, tis the only way to go Blues, IanPerformance Designs Factory Team Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Gawain 0 #37 December 21, 2004 The truth shall set you free. That being said, the timing and consequences of telling someone the truth should also be considered. I'll delay "the truth" if timing would hurt them unnecessarily.So I try and I scream and I beg and I sigh Just to prove I'm alive, and it's alright 'Cause tonight there's a way I'll make light of my treacherous life Make light! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Keith 0 #38 December 21, 2004 I prefer honesty, and am insulted when I specifically ask for it and get a candy coated answer.Keith Don't Fuck with me Keith - J. Mandeville Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
wildblue 7 #39 December 21, 2004 QuoteYou could argue that they are one and the same. I guess that depends on what you think sugar-coating is. I see it as not exactly lying but not exactly telling the truth. eeneR's example was good - "they don't look right... here try these" It's more of not really answering the question. Again, it's over an issue of opinion though. Vague answers are technically correct, and if someone really wants to, they could pin you down to a more specific, more truthful answer. QuoteQuoteThat's not 'Brutal Truth' in my book - that's just trying to be mean. Um since when did brutal equate to being Nice It doesn't, but that doesn't mean it equates to being mean.it's like incest - you're substituting convenience for quality Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
eeneR 3 #40 December 21, 2004 QuoteIt doesn't, but that doesn't mean it equates to being mean. But you see being brutal can be mean....If this person was so big that she had rolls hanging over their jeans and shirt....then that would be the truth Brutal..from www.m-w.com - Quote1 archaic : typical of beasts : ANIMAL 2 : befitting a brute : as a : grossly ruthless or unfeeling b : CRUEL, COLD-BLOODED c : HARSH, SEVERE d : unpleasantly accurate and incisive BRUTAL applies to people, their acts, or their words and suggests a lack of intelligence, feeling, or humanity She is not a "Dumb Blonde" - She is a "Light-Haired Detour Off The Information Superhighway." eeneR TF#72, FB#4130, Incauto Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
sunshine 2 #41 December 21, 2004 Are you guys still talking? Let's move on to something more fun. ___________________________________________ meow I get a Mike hug! I get a Mike hug! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
eeneR 3 #42 December 21, 2004 QuoteAre you guys still talking? Let's move on to something more fun. That is what you do in a discussion If you want a fun thread go right ahead and start one She is not a "Dumb Blonde" - She is a "Light-Haired Detour Off The Information Superhighway." eeneR TF#72, FB#4130, Incauto Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
ladyskydiver 0 #43 December 21, 2004 Give me the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth. Honesty is a requirement of mine. If you can't be honest, how can you be trusted?Life is short! Break the rules! Forgive quickly! Kiss slowly! Love truly, Laugh uncontrollably. And never regret anything that made you smile. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
wildblue 7 #44 December 21, 2004 QuoteQuoteIt doesn't, but that doesn't mean it equates to being mean. But you see being brutal can be mean....If this person was so big that she had rolls hanging over their jeans and shirt....then that would be the truth Brutal..from www.m-w.com - Quote1 archaic : typical of beasts : ANIMAL 2 : befitting a brute : as a : grossly ruthless or unfeeling b : CRUEL, COLD-BLOODED c : HARSH, SEVERE d : unpleasantly accurate and incisive BRUTAL applies to people, their acts, or their words and suggests a lack of intelligence, feeling, or humanity It's one thing to tell someone they're overweight (assuming they asked because for some reason they couldn't tell themselves) - that's disagreeably precise. Being mean would be calling them a fat cow. Christ... I feel like I just fell into SC for a minute... it's like incest - you're substituting convenience for quality Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
eeneR 3 #45 December 21, 2004 Quote1 archaic : typical of beasts : ANIMAL 2 : befitting a brute : as a : grossly ruthless or unfeeling b : CRUEL, COLD-BLOODED c : HARSH, SEVERE d : unpleasantly accurate and incisive BRUTAL applies to people, their acts, or their words and suggests a lack of intelligence, feeling, or humanity I would think lack of feeling and humanity would equate "mean" THis is just arguing semantics now.... Anycase brutal is harsh...She is not a "Dumb Blonde" - She is a "Light-Haired Detour Off The Information Superhighway." eeneR TF#72, FB#4130, Incauto Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
mouth 0 #46 December 21, 2004 I so totally want someone to be honest with me. Even if it hurts my feelings at least I'll know. No offense, but most guys I've dated have been the worst about that. They won't tell me what the problem is. One of these days I'll find one honest enough to call my shit like it is and then I'll know I have a keeper. I find my girlfriends are way more honest with me. They will call me in a heartbeat. Of course I'm just as honest with them. -- Hot Mama At least you know where you stand even if it is in a pile of shit. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Fast 0 #47 December 21, 2004 I'm with wildblue. I think people say they want the truth just like they say they want lots of other things then act completely different. I wish it wasn't how it is but at least to me this seems to be how people are. People are idealistic by nature and that leads them to think they want things that in reality they don't want. Its ok though because in actuality the puzzle pieces fit together nicely because most people won't give a straight truth anyways. There tends to always be some spin.~D Where troubles melt like lemon drops Away above the chimney tops That's where you'll find me. Swooping is taking one last poke at the bear before escaping it's cave - davelepka Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
diablopilot 2 #48 December 22, 2004 QuoteOk, just curious how everyone feels on this... Hey, if you think I'm an asshole, just call me an asshole already.---------------------------------------------- You're not as good as you think you are. Seriously. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Unstable 9 #49 December 22, 2004 This issue is much simplier than it is being made out to be. First off, if hard news is coming, give it to me, just have some degree of tact. No sugar-coating, simply courtesty & tact. My feelings of honesty are perpeptual - Here is how it works. I try to be an honest guy. I'm not perfect, but I'm no Hillary Clinton either. For the most part, I consider myself an honest upright person. I'm a church-boy. Why do I not worry about this? Simple, water seeks it's own level. If I try my best and am honest with my fellow men, then those who are dishonest and do not have my best interests in heart will not associate with me. I hope I make dishonest people uncomfortable when they are around me. Simple as that. Those that do, I can usually take their word for it. In short - you are who you associate with. I believe that. It works itself out, trust me.=========Shaun ========== Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
NWFlyer 2 #50 December 22, 2004 Hearing the truth sucks sometimes - it can be like ripping off a bandaid but in the long run, it's the better option. I think you can be honest without being cruel, and sometimes it's just a matter of how you phrase things. For example, recently I let a guy go, straight up by saying "I'm not looking for anything really serious right now," leaving off the last words I was thinking, "...with you." We had fun but I wasn't interested in anything with him and I could see that he was going to be the type to get clingy regardless of how casual I tried to keep it, so I went for the brutal honesty instead of the gradual "yeah, I'll call you" method of rejection. Probably sucked at the moment as the band-aid came off, but was easier in the long run because he knew where I stood rather than having to figure it out by my action (or inaction). Plus I didn't have to do wacky shit like dodge phone calls or avoid talking to our mutual friends. But it's damned hard to do and I admit I've been vague instead of straight-up with people sometimes and probably wound up hurting people unintentionally. And there have been times I've avoided asking a question straight up because I'm afraid the answer will not be the one I want to hear. As tough as it is in the moment, it's generally better to know, though."There is only one basic human right, the right to do as you damn well please. And with it comes the only basic human duty, the duty to take the consequences." -P.J. O'Rourke Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
