bshl 0 #1 October 1, 2004 Timeless jokes... Blue skies and happy landings! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
freethefly 6 #2 October 1, 2004 How many Freeflyers does it take to change a light bulb? At least 2. One to change the bulb and one to take video"...And once you're gone, you can't come back When you're out of the blue and into the black." Neil Young Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Rebecca 0 #3 October 1, 2004 How many ants does it take to screw in a lightbulb? 2. you've got to ask yourself one question: 'Do I feel loquacious?' -- well do you, punk? Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
skydivingfool 0 #4 October 1, 2004 How many kids with ADHD does it take to screw in a light bulb? Wanna go ride bikes! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
PhreeZone 20 #5 October 1, 2004 How many 100 jump wonders does it take to change a light bulb? 20, 1 to do it and 19 to stand there and say "Dude, I could do that if I had smaller canopies!" Just for you Ron Yesterday is history And tomorrow is a mystery Parachutemanuals.com Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Icon134 0 #6 October 1, 2004 My fave joke... How many mice does it take to screw in a light bulb? Two, but i haven't figured out how to get them in the light bulb yet. ScottLivin' on the Edge... sleeping with my rigger's wife... Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Zep 0 #7 October 1, 2004 How many Mick's does it take 4 one to hold the bulb an three to turn the chair Gone fishing Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
mardigrasbob 0 #8 October 1, 2004 QuoteHow many Freeflyers does it take to change a light bulb? At least 2. One to change the bulb and one to take video I told that joke to a freeflyer he told me this one. How many bellyflyers does it take to screw in a light bulb? 4 to plan the dive 8 to coach the exit 5 to spot and ten to bitch about it. --------------- Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Zep 0 #9 October 1, 2004 QuoteHow many ants does it take to screw in a lightbulb? 2. Thats not funny thats Gone fishing Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites CrazyThomas 0 #10 October 1, 2004 Already been told, but here's another classic. How many Floridians does it take to change a light bulb? Noone knows. They're still counting. Thomas Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites Rebecca 0 #11 October 1, 2004 WHAT? How is that not funny? Dude. Someone back me up here. Did you not get the joke, Zep? you've got to ask yourself one question: 'Do I feel loquacious?' -- well do you, punk? Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites Fast 0 #12 October 1, 2004 QuoteHow many Freeflyers does it take to change a light bulb? At least 2. One to change the bulb and one to take video No no... thats One to change the bulb and one to take a second video angle ~D Where troubles melt like lemon drops Away above the chimney tops That's where you'll find me. Swooping is taking one last poke at the bear before escaping it's cave - davelepka Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites mardigrasbob 0 #13 October 1, 2004 Q: How many Dylan fans does it take to screw in a light bulb? A: The answer, my friend, is blowin' in the wind. The answer is blowin' in the wind. Q: How many Head Electricians does it take to screw in a light bulb? A: "LAMP", idiot! It's called a "lamp"! Q: How many Iraqis does it take to screw in a light bulb? A: It doesn't matter, they don't have any electricity anymore Q: How many LA cops does it take to screw in a light bulb? A: Six-one to do it and five to smash the old bulb to splinters. Q: How many Male Chauvinists does it take to screw in a light bulb? A: None, let the bitch cook in the dark. Q: How many CBS news producers does it take to screw in a light bulb? A: Three, one to drill a hole in the light bulb so it blows up when he turns it on, one to film it, and one to insist on the truth of the report despite the manipulation. Q: How many Perverts does it take to screw in a light bulb? A: Just one, but it takes the entire emergency-room staff to get it back out again! Q: How many Schizophreniacs does it take to screw in a light bulb? A: Both of us Q: How many women with PMS does it take to screw in a light bulb? A: 3. -Why 3? IT JUST DOES, OK!!!!!!!!! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites quatorze 1 #14 October 1, 2004 Q: How many lesbians does it take to screw in a light bulb? A: 3, one to handle the bulb and 2 to write a folk song about it I'm not afriad of dying, I'm afraid of never really living- Erin Engle Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites happythoughts 0 #15 October 1, 2004 How many folk singers? Three. One to change it. Two to write a song about how much better the old one was. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites mhartboca 0 #16 October 1, 2004 Q: How many Micro$oft programmers does it take to change a lightbulb? A: None. They just change the standard to darkness.Michael Hart Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites CrazyThomas 0 #17 October 1, 2004 Quote Q: How many Perverts does it take to screw in a light bulb? A: Just one, but it takes the entire emergency-room staff to get it back out again! I gotta straighten you out on this one. You have two jokes spliced together. First is: Q: How many GAY guys does it take to screw in a light bulb? A: Just one, but it takes the entire emergency-room staff to get it back out again! Q: How many Perverts does it take to screw in a light bulb? A: (in a panting voice) It depends. What are you wearing? Is it something sexy? Or at least that's the way I read them before. Another gay variation is Q: How many gay guys does it take to screw in a light bulb? A: 4. 1 to screw in an art decco bulb, and three to stand around saying "OOOOOHHHHH, that's FABULOUS!" Thomas Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites Rebecca 0 #18 October 1, 2004 QuoteHow many ants does it take to screw in a lightbulb? 2. Thats not funny thats QuoteWHAT? How is that not funny? Dude. Someone back me up here. Did you not get the joke, Zep? Will someone please tell me what's wrong with my joke? Why the ?? How many cockroaches does it take to screw in a lightbulb? No one knows. As soon as the light comes on, they all run away. you've got to ask yourself one question: 'Do I feel loquacious?' -- well do you, punk? Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites CrazyThomas 0 #19 October 1, 2004 QuoteQuoteHow many ants does it take to screw in a lightbulb? 2. Thats not funny thats QuoteWHAT? How is that not funny? Dude. Someone back me up here. Did you not get the joke, Zep? Will someone please tell me what's wrong with my joke? Why the ?? You forgot a part. I heard it with flies, but ants work also. Q: How many ants does it take to screw in a light bulb? A: 2. The real trick is getting them in there. Thomas Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites wmw999 2,507 #20 October 1, 2004 How many feminists does it take to screw in a light bulb? One. And that's not funny Wendy W. (former card-carrying member of NOW)There is nothing more dangerous than breaking a basic safety rule and getting away with it. It removes fear of the consequences and builds false confidence. (tbrown) Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites Rebecca 0 #21 October 1, 2004 That's not worth all the angries I got. Besides, I like leaving the last part out - everyone waits for the explanation, but it's funner to watch 'em think about it for a second. (and since I just know someone's going to point it out: yes, I know funner's not a real word, but I don't care.) you've got to ask yourself one question: 'Do I feel loquacious?' -- well do you, punk? Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites christoofar 0 #22 October 1, 2004 Sorry Keith hahaha Q. How many gay guys does it take to change a light bulb. A. 2. One straight guy actually does the work, one gay guy to admire at his ass, and the other gay guy to critize how he's doing it until he gets it right, then screams out "faaabulous!" Q. How do you know you have a gay skydiver in your midst? A. You overhear a man asking a legitimate question: "Does this canopy make my ass look fat???" (hmm I've done that when I jumped a big Triathlon ) Q. What does a horse eat? A. Haaaaaaaaaaayyy! Construction worker on the 5th floor of a building needed a handsaw. So he spots another worker on the ground floor and yells down to him, but he can't hear him. So the worker on the 5th floor tries sign language. He pointed to his eye meaning "I", pointed to his knee meaning "need", then moved his hand back and forth in a hand saw motion. The man on the ground floor nods his head, pulls down his pants, whips out his chop and starts masturbating. The worker on 5th floor gets so pissed off he runs down to the ground floor and says, "What the fuck is your problem!!! I said I needed a hand saw!". The other guy says, "I knew that! I was just trying to tell you - I'm coming!" ____________________________________________________________ I'm RICK JAMES! Fo shizzle. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites Zep 0 #23 October 1, 2004 No sorry I didnt get it If humour isn't Black, sick or sarcastic I don't understand it It's a British thing Whoops I see I was a bit late in coming back there Gone fishing Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites Zep 0 #24 October 1, 2004 Now that was funny Gone fishing Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites gulaz 1 #25 October 1, 2004 How many skydivers does it take to screw in a lightbulb? -At least 2, one to hold the bulb, and the rest to drink enough to make the room spin. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites Prev 1 2 Next Page 1 of 2 Join the conversation You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account. Note: Your post will require moderator approval before it will be visible. Reply to this topic... × Pasted as rich text. 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CrazyThomas 0 #10 October 1, 2004 Already been told, but here's another classic. How many Floridians does it take to change a light bulb? Noone knows. They're still counting. Thomas Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Rebecca 0 #11 October 1, 2004 WHAT? How is that not funny? Dude. Someone back me up here. Did you not get the joke, Zep? you've got to ask yourself one question: 'Do I feel loquacious?' -- well do you, punk? Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Fast 0 #12 October 1, 2004 QuoteHow many Freeflyers does it take to change a light bulb? At least 2. One to change the bulb and one to take video No no... thats One to change the bulb and one to take a second video angle ~D Where troubles melt like lemon drops Away above the chimney tops That's where you'll find me. Swooping is taking one last poke at the bear before escaping it's cave - davelepka Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
mardigrasbob 0 #13 October 1, 2004 Q: How many Dylan fans does it take to screw in a light bulb? A: The answer, my friend, is blowin' in the wind. The answer is blowin' in the wind. Q: How many Head Electricians does it take to screw in a light bulb? A: "LAMP", idiot! It's called a "lamp"! Q: How many Iraqis does it take to screw in a light bulb? A: It doesn't matter, they don't have any electricity anymore Q: How many LA cops does it take to screw in a light bulb? A: Six-one to do it and five to smash the old bulb to splinters. Q: How many Male Chauvinists does it take to screw in a light bulb? A: None, let the bitch cook in the dark. Q: How many CBS news producers does it take to screw in a light bulb? A: Three, one to drill a hole in the light bulb so it blows up when he turns it on, one to film it, and one to insist on the truth of the report despite the manipulation. Q: How many Perverts does it take to screw in a light bulb? A: Just one, but it takes the entire emergency-room staff to get it back out again! Q: How many Schizophreniacs does it take to screw in a light bulb? A: Both of us Q: How many women with PMS does it take to screw in a light bulb? A: 3. -Why 3? IT JUST DOES, OK!!!!!!!!! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
quatorze 1 #14 October 1, 2004 Q: How many lesbians does it take to screw in a light bulb? A: 3, one to handle the bulb and 2 to write a folk song about it I'm not afriad of dying, I'm afraid of never really living- Erin Engle Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
happythoughts 0 #15 October 1, 2004 How many folk singers? Three. One to change it. Two to write a song about how much better the old one was. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
mhartboca 0 #16 October 1, 2004 Q: How many Micro$oft programmers does it take to change a lightbulb? A: None. They just change the standard to darkness.Michael Hart Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
CrazyThomas 0 #17 October 1, 2004 Quote Q: How many Perverts does it take to screw in a light bulb? A: Just one, but it takes the entire emergency-room staff to get it back out again! I gotta straighten you out on this one. You have two jokes spliced together. First is: Q: How many GAY guys does it take to screw in a light bulb? A: Just one, but it takes the entire emergency-room staff to get it back out again! Q: How many Perverts does it take to screw in a light bulb? A: (in a panting voice) It depends. What are you wearing? Is it something sexy? Or at least that's the way I read them before. Another gay variation is Q: How many gay guys does it take to screw in a light bulb? A: 4. 1 to screw in an art decco bulb, and three to stand around saying "OOOOOHHHHH, that's FABULOUS!" Thomas Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Rebecca 0 #18 October 1, 2004 QuoteHow many ants does it take to screw in a lightbulb? 2. Thats not funny thats QuoteWHAT? How is that not funny? Dude. Someone back me up here. Did you not get the joke, Zep? Will someone please tell me what's wrong with my joke? Why the ?? How many cockroaches does it take to screw in a lightbulb? No one knows. As soon as the light comes on, they all run away. you've got to ask yourself one question: 'Do I feel loquacious?' -- well do you, punk? Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
CrazyThomas 0 #19 October 1, 2004 QuoteQuoteHow many ants does it take to screw in a lightbulb? 2. Thats not funny thats QuoteWHAT? How is that not funny? Dude. Someone back me up here. Did you not get the joke, Zep? Will someone please tell me what's wrong with my joke? Why the ?? You forgot a part. I heard it with flies, but ants work also. Q: How many ants does it take to screw in a light bulb? A: 2. The real trick is getting them in there. Thomas Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
wmw999 2,507 #20 October 1, 2004 How many feminists does it take to screw in a light bulb? One. And that's not funny Wendy W. (former card-carrying member of NOW)There is nothing more dangerous than breaking a basic safety rule and getting away with it. It removes fear of the consequences and builds false confidence. (tbrown) Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Rebecca 0 #21 October 1, 2004 That's not worth all the angries I got. Besides, I like leaving the last part out - everyone waits for the explanation, but it's funner to watch 'em think about it for a second. (and since I just know someone's going to point it out: yes, I know funner's not a real word, but I don't care.) you've got to ask yourself one question: 'Do I feel loquacious?' -- well do you, punk? Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
christoofar 0 #22 October 1, 2004 Sorry Keith hahaha Q. How many gay guys does it take to change a light bulb. A. 2. One straight guy actually does the work, one gay guy to admire at his ass, and the other gay guy to critize how he's doing it until he gets it right, then screams out "faaabulous!" Q. How do you know you have a gay skydiver in your midst? A. You overhear a man asking a legitimate question: "Does this canopy make my ass look fat???" (hmm I've done that when I jumped a big Triathlon ) Q. What does a horse eat? A. Haaaaaaaaaaayyy! Construction worker on the 5th floor of a building needed a handsaw. So he spots another worker on the ground floor and yells down to him, but he can't hear him. So the worker on the 5th floor tries sign language. He pointed to his eye meaning "I", pointed to his knee meaning "need", then moved his hand back and forth in a hand saw motion. The man on the ground floor nods his head, pulls down his pants, whips out his chop and starts masturbating. The worker on 5th floor gets so pissed off he runs down to the ground floor and says, "What the fuck is your problem!!! I said I needed a hand saw!". The other guy says, "I knew that! I was just trying to tell you - I'm coming!" ____________________________________________________________ I'm RICK JAMES! Fo shizzle. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Zep 0 #23 October 1, 2004 No sorry I didnt get it If humour isn't Black, sick or sarcastic I don't understand it It's a British thing Whoops I see I was a bit late in coming back there Gone fishing Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Zep 0 #24 October 1, 2004 Now that was funny Gone fishing Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
gulaz 1 #25 October 1, 2004 How many skydivers does it take to screw in a lightbulb? -At least 2, one to hold the bulb, and the rest to drink enough to make the room spin. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
