Im giving it up...

[bkdice 0]

I feel very bad for your situation. I'm sure you'll figure out the path you are supposed to take with time. Skydiving will always be there. You will regret it if you don't take your time now in figuring out what you really want and what will make you happy in the long run.

My ex boyfriend hated my skydiving. It wasn't because of the time, the danger, or the money. It was simply because I had something that I enjoyed in my life and he did not. He resented that. The relationship was already unhappy.

Whatever you end up doing, I hope you are both playing fair. Since I don't know you, her, or any details, I can't assume anything, obviously. I just hope she is not forcing something on you that is one sided. You don't do that to someone you love.

I wish you all the best.

[skybytch 273]

Hey Kai,

Not going to tell you what to do. Not even going to tell you what I'd do.

Just going to tell you that I think you're pretty special. Being willing to give up jumping because she asked shows just how much you love your wife.

I hope you can reach some kind of compromise so you don't have to stop jumping, but like others have said, the sky will always be there.

Hang in there sweetie.

[sunshine 2]

Not neccesarily aimed at kai, but people in general. Ok, here comes my blunt forwardness again. But when is it time to realize it's over? After you've tried counseling, moved out for a while, made sacrifices, etc. and it still doesn't help, it's time to split. Why prolong the pain, it just delays the healing process. Sometimes when 2 people love each other, they just cant work. It happens. Tis much harder to leave someone you still love, but it happens.

Don't beat yourself up over it if it doesn't work out. People sometimes stay together out of guilt or fear of being alone. So after you've tried it all, if it doesn't work, move along and be proud that you at least tried.

___________________________________________
meow

I get a Mike hug! I get a Mike hug!

[killler 2]

Thank you sunshine.....

A woman who calls a spade a spade.....
Killer......

[chopchop 0]

Quote

If you stop jumping because of pressure put on you by your spouse, your marriage will be shot anyway. Trust me on this one, I've been there and got the T-Shirt. You'll resent the hell out of her for it sooner or later, and it sounds like you already have problems which jumping is just the focus for now. Once that is removed, that focus will just move to other areas of your relationship and you won't have the jumping to go and decompress yourself with emotionally.

So, my advice would be.

1. Stop jumping but KEEP THE GEAR !
2. Go to counseling
3 If that doesn't work, get divorced, sooner rather than later.
4. Resume jumping either way. If you're a jumper you're a jumper. This isn't about the jumping. It never is.

Well put Gareth.. Especially this part.. This isn't about the jumping. It never is

Do you watch Dr. Phil?

chopchop
gotta go... Plaything needs a spanking..

Lotsa Pictures

[jumpwally 0]

Good luck to you,,,but ,if it was a stable gig, you should be able to:

negotiate one weekend or weekend day for yourself
negotiate budget for this one weekend a month

or even every other month. This whole thing is so familiar,the same issue's have happened to several friends of mine, just remove "skydiving" and insert anything you want "hunting-fishing-running-biking-weight lifting-wood shop,etc." ,the end result was the same. Some unhappy people are just bent on being unhappy and clamping the negative vibe on others.

When someone "force's" compromise,usually some one lose's right away. One thing thats sickens me is that BS at weddings where two candles burn and they get snuffed out and relight one to signify comming together as "one",,,,,,big mistake,just then and there,someone's being,someone's personality has to go away..right then and there,,,,,,,,,,,,,think about it.

In an earlier post it was said "share in each others happiness rather than share a life of misery " It don't get any more truthfull than......................

and give her another opinion also,,print this thread Best of Luck in whatever path you chose........Wally and Clare

smile, be nice, enjoy life
FB # - 1083

[Courteney 0]

Dude, if she wants you to give up skydiving then I reckon she's not worth having around. If she truly loves you and skydiving is a big part of you then she should accept and love ALL of you.

That's why I married a Skydiver.
Good luck with the decision, but don't do something you're going to regret.

...drags me down like some sweet gravity!!!

[cloudseeker2001 0]

Quote

Hey everyone,

Thanks for all the replies. Some of you have asked what she is giving up, In the shortest answer possible NOTHING. She claims that she gave up having a child back when we got married and that doesnt compare with anything that she is asking me to do. I told her from the get go that I did not want any kids of my own. I inherited a stepson with this marriage. And thats as far as it went.


As far as the "slippery slope" arguement goes, Its hard to give up something else when there's nothing else to give up.

In 2000 (a year after we were married) I gave up going out all the time with the guys, pretty much gave up playing golf, Sold the boat i had since we "couldn't afford" it. as well as a few other activities that were self-destructive.

Ive been wrestling with this decision for some time now and the bottom line is that she wins.


\

Ummmm, Golf, Skydiving, the boat, guy friends, "other" activities.........so, is this the case of "find a guy and I will change him into what I want" or what? Sounds as if she is taking away and not adding to your well-being. Who does she want you to be and do you really want to be that person?

"Some call it heavenly in it's brilliance,
others mean and rueful of the western dream"

[happythoughts 0]

Quote

Ummmm, Golf, Skydiving, the boat, guy friends, "other" activities.........so, is this the case of "find a guy and I will change him into what I want" or what?

There is a look that the dog gives you for a week after you have him neutered. Give it enough time and you understand why he had that look.

Quote

Sounds as if she is taking away and not adding to your well-being. Who does she want you to be and do you really want to be that person?

This sounds like a general insecurity. I would have expected "Why can't you be happy without skydiving... or anything but me and my Mom (who will live with us and keep you in line mister)..."

Lived through it.
"Why do you want to play racquetball with your cousin when you could spend time with me?"
"What do you want to do?"
"Let's go have lunch and spend the day (shopping for window treatments) together."

The road to unhappiness starts when you let someone else (partner/parent/preacher) define what makes you:
1- happy or
2- a good parent/adult/partner/person

[killler 2]

So how did the talk go? I hope all is well
killer........

[kai2k1 0]

It went quite well, but not as well as i would have hoped. I 'm still going to skydive, but not as much anymore.

I really really wish i knew what ws wrong with her so i could help.

There's no truer sense of flying than sky diving," Scott Cowan

[leroydb 0]

Quote

I really really wish i knew what ws wrong with her so i could help.

maybe she wants more time with you? maybe she feels skydiving is getting inbetween the 2 of you?

Leroy


..I knew I was an unwanted baby when I saw my bath toys were a toaster and a radio...

[RkyMtnHigh 0]

Quote

It went quite well, but not as well as i would have hoped. I 'm still going to skydive, but not as much anymore.

I really really wish i knew what ws wrong with her so i could help.

Seems like good news to me..you still get to jump, but not as much..that's good

_________________________________________

[popsjumper 2]

Quote

never sell gear... you will always regret it.. particularly after she's gone anyway...

OH how true, how true.....

difference between herpes and love? Herpes is forever!

My reality and yours are quite different.
I think we're all Bozos on this bus.
Falcon5232, SCS8170, SCSA353, POPS9398, DS239

[kai2k1 0]

Quote

I really really wish i knew what ws wrong with her so i could help.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

maybe she wants more time with you? maybe she feels skydiving is getting inbetween the 2 of you?

Its not that, believe me. I only spend about a day a month at the DZ as it stands right now and she says the feelings were there before I started skydiving last year.

Hopefully we'll get it worked out. I'm a little more optimisitc than i was 3 days ago.

There's no truer sense of flying than sky diving," Scott Cowan

[sarge 0]

Well Brother, fuck the skydiving, fuck the gear, you sound like you're following what it is that makes your life meaningful.

You can get new gear -better gear in a year or two anyway. You can rent gear, aint nobody going to take your license away, you own it. but a wife....

You don't own a wife, you can't rent a wife, you will never find another just like her and next years model may never be released.

Take care of the important stuff, sell the shit buy her something, there will always be more money, there may not always be your one wife.

my $ .02 good luck, blues

Sargiento Rodriguez
.

--
I'm done with the personally meaningful and philosophical sigs!!

[payback462 0]

Quote

you can't rent a wife

i suggest before you make outrageous claims like this you do a search
http://www.craigslist.org/about/best/sfo/13028015.html
http://funreports.com/2003/06/24/48624.html
http://pages.ivillage.com/errandangel/id30.html

Quote

You don't own a wife.

thats true, at least in this country, but you sure can get a really close imitation!
http://www.realdoll.com/

[sarge 0]

ROTFLMAO&PM !!!!!!

Yeah, well I hoped nobody would call me out on the cheaper version of actually marrying one.

But I was was feeling for Kai and his situation, now that the cats out of the bag and all... I think I'm gonna ring up that one chick in Indiana, she sounds interesting?
.

--
I'm done with the personally meaningful and philosophical sigs!!

[stevebabin 0]

It is in your Wifes interest to be married to a happy man.....
Put another way- A happy man makes a better husband.
Bon Chance,
Steve

"Science, logic and reason will fly you to the moon. Religion will fly you into buildings."
"Because figuring things out is always better than making shit up."

[killler 2]

Kai2k1,
Thats great.... As long as you are taking and not caving in.... Just rember, You need to be happy to make thing work....

I wish you the best, and blue skys....

Killer...