MWGemini 0 #1 November 10, 2004 Over the past several months I have fallen more and more in love with skydiving. To the point that I am considering selling all of my crap, buying a trailer, and moving to the DZ. If I were single, this would be a much easier decision that it currently is. The "problem" (which it isn't, really) is that I am engaged to a wonderful woman, whom I love dearly, and to whom I will be getting married (in the skyvan at Delan near year's day). I'm beginning to wonder if that is really what I want to do (settle down and give up a lot of my freedom). On the one hand, I have a very loving fiancee that is very supportive of my hobbies and me, and I am very, VERY lucky to have her. On the other hand, I've changed my life for her already, and I'll have to change further, and sacrifice more of myself, and my freedom, to stay with her. I'm trying to decide what will make me happier in the long run, and I could use some advice from people who've been in the same boat. Thanks, Mike Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
AggieDave 6 #2 November 10, 2004 Heh, Morgan and I were talking just last week about getting a trailer and moving to a large DZ for a season or two before we start our "real" lives...but then again, Morgan is a skydiver and has started working on getting her ratings as well, so it'd make more sense for us. Have you talked to your fiancee about your worries and concerns? With your jump numbers you'd pretty much be a packer...being a full time packer is a pretty shitty lifestyle, trust me.--"When I die, may I be surrounded by scattered chrome and burning gasoline." Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
WhirledWeb 0 #3 November 10, 2004 How old are ya? How long have you known her...? . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Don't be afraid of death, be afraid of the unlived life. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Squeak 17 #4 November 10, 2004 not an unsommon feeling in the early stages of skydiving (from what I've heard and read). Before I sold up everything I'd probably get a couple of hundred jumps in 1st, just to make sure this is what you want to do.OR Just say Fuggit and jump in the deep endYou are not now, nor will you ever be, good enough to not die in this sport (Sparky) My Life ROCKS! How's yours doing? Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
weegegirl 2 #5 November 10, 2004 Awe, keep em both! Sounds like your lady is wonderful AND understanding of your jumping. This sport can suck you in, but sounds like you have the opportunity to have the best of both worlds. Don't give up something that good!!! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites juanesky 0 #6 November 10, 2004 Mike, that decision is up to you. However, you should talk to her (I think she is a terrific gal), and have this same conversation with her, before you make a decision. Skydiving could be just one more part of your life, but you should be a compilation of parts to be a whole person. If you are going to make a living out of it, then I would advice to go ahead and do it, but that you need to talk to your SO. Blue skies."According to some of the conservatives here, it sounds like it's fine to beat your wide - as long as she had it coming." -Billvon Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites Frenchy68 0 #7 November 10, 2004 Sell her too! Seriously, keep things in perspective. Don't give up on the person who could be (apparently is) THE one for a couple more jumps. Especially if you can combine both... "For once you have tasted Absinthe you will walk the earth with your eyes turned towards the gutter, for there you have been and there you will long to return." Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites MWGemini 0 #8 November 10, 2004 I wouldn't quit my job- yet. I'm far too inexperienced to make a living jumping, but maybe one day... To answer other questions- I am 23, we have been engaged and living together for over 2 years, and we've known each other about 3 years. She has no idea I'm considering this right now. I need to figure out what's going on in my head a little more before I start talking to her about it. Thanks, Mike Edit: I met her while I was in the Army, and I think I'm more adapted to the "single lifestyle" where I can do anything I want, when I want to do it, without having to take anyone else into consideration. I truly do love her, but I'm worried that I'll either distance her by pursuing skydiving to the degree I want to pursue it, or lose my freedom to pursue the things I want because of her. This is already starting to happen with very small things, but I'm afraid it's going to escalate over time. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites CanuckInUSA 0 #9 November 10, 2004 Jumping is tons of fun and for sure you are not alone when we say that it has effected our lives as well. But make sure you have some balance in your life. If the only thing that matters in your life is jumping, then there is a chance that you're on the road to burning out as others have done before you. Jumping can still be a big part of your life, but make sure it's not the only thing in your life. Try not to worry about the things you have no control over Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites TypicalFish 0 #10 November 10, 2004 QuoteI wouldn't quit my job- yet. I'm far too inexperienced to make a living jumping, but maybe one day... To answer other questions- I am 23, we have been engaged and living together for over 2 years, and we've known each other about 3 years. She has no idea I'm considering this right now. I need to figure out what's going on in my head a little more before I start talking to her about it. Thanks, Mike My friend, I have to tell you, if you're considering giving up your girl, who you are supposed to be committed to spending the rest of your life with, for skydiving, you two really need to have a talk. An honest talk about your and her feelings for one another and your committment. It's really not fair to either one of you not to. Do it now before things get complicated."I gargle no man's balls..." ussfpa on SOCNET Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites Nightingale 0 #11 November 10, 2004 dude, as cool as skydiving is, it isn't worth giving up the people you love. If you're thinking about it, think long and hard about both the relationship and the place jumping should have in your life. You need to get some perspective. Jumping out of planes is a great part of life, but it shouldn't be your entire life. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites Granimal 0 #12 November 10, 2004 If you can find a woman that does not skydive, and still does not mind that you do, hang on to her. However over time, usually people get less and less tolerant of the sport. Give and take is important. It’s hard to tell someone that you will never be around on any weekend ever. Make sure she is cool with you jumping after having kids if that’s your plan too. I have seen MANY people not wanting their husband/wife taking "unnecessary risks" when new babies are around. I have had several give me an ultimatum of either the sport or me, and I've sent them packing. I would never ask someone I cared about to stop doing what they love. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites Jessica 0 #13 November 10, 2004 QuoteI truly do love her, but I'm worried that I'll either distance her by pursuing skydiving to the degree I want to pursue it, or lose my freedom to pursue the things I want because of her. Then I'd say you're not ready to get married. I'd further say you sound like you want to be single. I'd go ahead and also say that if there's someplace else you'd rather be than with her, then it's better for her if you go there. 23 is just a spring chicken. Don't be in a rush to be tied down. What you're feeling is not really about skydiving. But that's just what I'd say, if I were to give you advice.Skydiving is for cool people only Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites Cloudi 0 #14 November 10, 2004 Sounds like excellent advice to me. I think this has less to do with skydiving and more to do with just realizing he might be too young to handle compromising. Compromising can seem like giving up your independence and dreams if you don't know the difference. Knowing you can have it all comes with maturity, experience, and the right SO. Give her the opportunity to respond by telling her your concerns. Don't assume you know what she will say--she might just surprise you! Kim Watch as I attempt, with no slight of hand, to apply logic and reason. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites jumperconway 0 #15 November 10, 2004 Keep the real job and the real life and keep skydiving as a hobby! Skydiving for a living is an unreal delusion unless you work at a select few DZ's. Enjoy your passion for your girl and your hobby and have a real life outside the DZ! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites wee 0 #16 November 10, 2004 ... but at the same time: make sure being engaged is what you want. "staying in" isn't fair to her (or you) just because of the time/comfy factor. If I read into it too much and that's not what you meant at all.. then maybe try getting her hooked? That would be fun! When you ask this many people the same Q... you get several different A's... hope you aren't more confused. If it helps any, I went through a similar thing after my first few (but decided he was worth keeping) If the world didn't suck, we'd all fall off! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites MWGemini 0 #17 November 10, 2004 I think Jessica has come closest to what I'm feeling. I *DO* want to be with her, that is for sure, but I guess that I'm still unsure of some other things. Bottom line is that I won't stop being who and what I am, and I don't want to hurt her. She deserves better than that. I think I just had one of my bad days yesterday that spawned this post. I'm somewhat manic-depressive, so that happens sometimes. Thanks to everyone for your advice. Thanks, Mike Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites tunaplanet 0 #18 November 10, 2004 I would reccomend you don't take advice from people online. Forty-two Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites chaoskitty 0 #19 November 11, 2004 QuoteI would reccomend you don't take advice from people online. And never *EVER* take Tunaplanet's advice. There is more to life than skydiving. Amen and peace out. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites MWGemini 0 #20 November 11, 2004 Sometimes it's good advice, sometimes not. Like anything else, it must be tempered with one's own judgment. Mike Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites slug 1 #21 November 11, 2004 Go to speakers corner if you need serious adviseR.I.P. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites Tonto 1 #22 November 11, 2004 Dude. You're 23. Who the fuck needs balance? Most people don't keep skydiving. Maybe a year, maybe 5 years. The circle is small here, but there are less than 10 people in my country who are active and have been skydiving longer than I have. Relationships come and go. Skydiving - if it's for you - will last a lifetime. Ask a few 40 year olds who were jumping at your age(23) if they're still with the woman there were with then. I don't think you'll find many positive answers. Married at 23... now there's a concept... t Edit to add - I don't date a whuffo - so I don't follow my own advice on this front.It's the year of the Pig. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites antifnsocial 0 #23 November 11, 2004 QuoteDude. You're 23. Who the fuck needs balance? Edit to add - I don't date a whuffo - so I don't follow my own advice on this front. i love that you're a moderator and just said fuck, may i hit on you? Please feel free to reply to my posts and pm's, but only if you're smart enough to understand what they really mean. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites Tonto 1 #24 November 11, 2004 Um... Is there something in the rules about not using some words in the English language? And I'm not a moderator HERE.. I'm just chilling by the fire.. The primary purpose of any language is to communicate. With all the potential for misunderstanding that exists online - I try to relate to people in terms they can understand. Sure you can hit on me. But I'm taken.tIt's the year of the Pig. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites Join the conversation You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account. Note: Your post will require moderator approval before it will be visible. Reply to this topic... × Pasted as rich text. Paste as plain text instead Only 75 emoji are allowed. × Your link has been automatically embedded. Display as a link instead × Your previous content has been restored. Clear editor × You cannot paste images directly. 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juanesky 0 #6 November 10, 2004 Mike, that decision is up to you. However, you should talk to her (I think she is a terrific gal), and have this same conversation with her, before you make a decision. Skydiving could be just one more part of your life, but you should be a compilation of parts to be a whole person. If you are going to make a living out of it, then I would advice to go ahead and do it, but that you need to talk to your SO. Blue skies."According to some of the conservatives here, it sounds like it's fine to beat your wide - as long as she had it coming." -Billvon Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Frenchy68 0 #7 November 10, 2004 Sell her too! Seriously, keep things in perspective. Don't give up on the person who could be (apparently is) THE one for a couple more jumps. Especially if you can combine both... "For once you have tasted Absinthe you will walk the earth with your eyes turned towards the gutter, for there you have been and there you will long to return." Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
MWGemini 0 #8 November 10, 2004 I wouldn't quit my job- yet. I'm far too inexperienced to make a living jumping, but maybe one day... To answer other questions- I am 23, we have been engaged and living together for over 2 years, and we've known each other about 3 years. She has no idea I'm considering this right now. I need to figure out what's going on in my head a little more before I start talking to her about it. Thanks, Mike Edit: I met her while I was in the Army, and I think I'm more adapted to the "single lifestyle" where I can do anything I want, when I want to do it, without having to take anyone else into consideration. I truly do love her, but I'm worried that I'll either distance her by pursuing skydiving to the degree I want to pursue it, or lose my freedom to pursue the things I want because of her. This is already starting to happen with very small things, but I'm afraid it's going to escalate over time. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
CanuckInUSA 0 #9 November 10, 2004 Jumping is tons of fun and for sure you are not alone when we say that it has effected our lives as well. But make sure you have some balance in your life. If the only thing that matters in your life is jumping, then there is a chance that you're on the road to burning out as others have done before you. Jumping can still be a big part of your life, but make sure it's not the only thing in your life. Try not to worry about the things you have no control over Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
TypicalFish 0 #10 November 10, 2004 QuoteI wouldn't quit my job- yet. I'm far too inexperienced to make a living jumping, but maybe one day... To answer other questions- I am 23, we have been engaged and living together for over 2 years, and we've known each other about 3 years. She has no idea I'm considering this right now. I need to figure out what's going on in my head a little more before I start talking to her about it. Thanks, Mike My friend, I have to tell you, if you're considering giving up your girl, who you are supposed to be committed to spending the rest of your life with, for skydiving, you two really need to have a talk. An honest talk about your and her feelings for one another and your committment. It's really not fair to either one of you not to. Do it now before things get complicated."I gargle no man's balls..." ussfpa on SOCNET Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Nightingale 0 #11 November 10, 2004 dude, as cool as skydiving is, it isn't worth giving up the people you love. If you're thinking about it, think long and hard about both the relationship and the place jumping should have in your life. You need to get some perspective. Jumping out of planes is a great part of life, but it shouldn't be your entire life. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Granimal 0 #12 November 10, 2004 If you can find a woman that does not skydive, and still does not mind that you do, hang on to her. However over time, usually people get less and less tolerant of the sport. Give and take is important. It’s hard to tell someone that you will never be around on any weekend ever. Make sure she is cool with you jumping after having kids if that’s your plan too. I have seen MANY people not wanting their husband/wife taking "unnecessary risks" when new babies are around. I have had several give me an ultimatum of either the sport or me, and I've sent them packing. I would never ask someone I cared about to stop doing what they love. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Jessica 0 #13 November 10, 2004 QuoteI truly do love her, but I'm worried that I'll either distance her by pursuing skydiving to the degree I want to pursue it, or lose my freedom to pursue the things I want because of her. Then I'd say you're not ready to get married. I'd further say you sound like you want to be single. I'd go ahead and also say that if there's someplace else you'd rather be than with her, then it's better for her if you go there. 23 is just a spring chicken. Don't be in a rush to be tied down. What you're feeling is not really about skydiving. But that's just what I'd say, if I were to give you advice.Skydiving is for cool people only Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Cloudi 0 #14 November 10, 2004 Sounds like excellent advice to me. I think this has less to do with skydiving and more to do with just realizing he might be too young to handle compromising. Compromising can seem like giving up your independence and dreams if you don't know the difference. Knowing you can have it all comes with maturity, experience, and the right SO. Give her the opportunity to respond by telling her your concerns. Don't assume you know what she will say--she might just surprise you! Kim Watch as I attempt, with no slight of hand, to apply logic and reason. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
jumperconway 0 #15 November 10, 2004 Keep the real job and the real life and keep skydiving as a hobby! Skydiving for a living is an unreal delusion unless you work at a select few DZ's. Enjoy your passion for your girl and your hobby and have a real life outside the DZ! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
wee 0 #16 November 10, 2004 ... but at the same time: make sure being engaged is what you want. "staying in" isn't fair to her (or you) just because of the time/comfy factor. If I read into it too much and that's not what you meant at all.. then maybe try getting her hooked? That would be fun! When you ask this many people the same Q... you get several different A's... hope you aren't more confused. If it helps any, I went through a similar thing after my first few (but decided he was worth keeping) If the world didn't suck, we'd all fall off! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
MWGemini 0 #17 November 10, 2004 I think Jessica has come closest to what I'm feeling. I *DO* want to be with her, that is for sure, but I guess that I'm still unsure of some other things. Bottom line is that I won't stop being who and what I am, and I don't want to hurt her. She deserves better than that. I think I just had one of my bad days yesterday that spawned this post. I'm somewhat manic-depressive, so that happens sometimes. Thanks to everyone for your advice. Thanks, Mike Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
tunaplanet 0 #18 November 10, 2004 I would reccomend you don't take advice from people online. Forty-two Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
chaoskitty 0 #19 November 11, 2004 QuoteI would reccomend you don't take advice from people online. And never *EVER* take Tunaplanet's advice. There is more to life than skydiving. Amen and peace out. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
MWGemini 0 #20 November 11, 2004 Sometimes it's good advice, sometimes not. Like anything else, it must be tempered with one's own judgment. Mike Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
slug 1 #21 November 11, 2004 Go to speakers corner if you need serious adviseR.I.P. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Tonto 1 #22 November 11, 2004 Dude. You're 23. Who the fuck needs balance? Most people don't keep skydiving. Maybe a year, maybe 5 years. The circle is small here, but there are less than 10 people in my country who are active and have been skydiving longer than I have. Relationships come and go. Skydiving - if it's for you - will last a lifetime. Ask a few 40 year olds who were jumping at your age(23) if they're still with the woman there were with then. I don't think you'll find many positive answers. Married at 23... now there's a concept... t Edit to add - I don't date a whuffo - so I don't follow my own advice on this front.It's the year of the Pig. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
antifnsocial 0 #23 November 11, 2004 QuoteDude. You're 23. Who the fuck needs balance? Edit to add - I don't date a whuffo - so I don't follow my own advice on this front. i love that you're a moderator and just said fuck, may i hit on you? Please feel free to reply to my posts and pm's, but only if you're smart enough to understand what they really mean. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Tonto 1 #24 November 11, 2004 Um... Is there something in the rules about not using some words in the English language? And I'm not a moderator HERE.. I'm just chilling by the fire.. The primary purpose of any language is to communicate. With all the potential for misunderstanding that exists online - I try to relate to people in terms they can understand. Sure you can hit on me. But I'm taken.tIt's the year of the Pig. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
