Sex on the DZ

[Unutsch 0]

since nobody else mentioned it: if it's not on video, it did not happen!!!

Check out the site of the Fallen Angels FreeflY Organisation:
http://www.padliangeli.org

[crwmike 0]

Till ya wimped out with the disclaimer.

Michael

[Airman1270 0]

Well... Suddenly it seems nobody is all that interested in downsizing! C'mon, where are all these people who get such a rush from swooping to the finish as quickly as possible, with the smallest equipment they can get their hands on?

Me? I've been riding my big unit for years, and am in no hurry for it to be over. Of course, since I can't get to the DZ very often I have to do a few practice pulls at home... ......

Cheers,
Jon

[ladyskydiver 0]

I'm laughing so hard, I'm almost in tears. My stomach is hurting from laughing so much.

Life is short! Break the rules! Forgive quickly! Kiss slowly! Love truly, Laugh uncontrollably. And never regret anything that made you smile.

[packerboy 3]

So exactly how is it that you get the really good coaching? Give a breathalyzer before getting on the plane?

--------------------------------------------------
In matters of style, swim with the current; in matters of principle, stand like a rock. ~ Thomas Jefferson

[Judit 0]

That's the funniest post I've read for a long time. I'm sitting in a serious environment at work laughing my head off. People think I'm crazy but I can't tell them it has nothing to do with work...

Take risks not to escape life but to prevent life from escaping

[tigra 0]

[craichead 0]

The people at my DZ have a problem with my hardcore sex acts after hours...

They say my screams are way too loud, and I'm constantly reminded that tents aren't soundproof.

But AndyMan and I haven't been kicked off the DZ, yet, and we'll probably continue our hardcore sex acts in a trailer instead of a tent next year.

_Pm

__
"Scared of love, love and aeroplanes...falling out, I said takes no brains." -- Andy Partridge (XTC)

[Reginald 0]

The deep dark secret at my DZ revolves around kinky sex with rodents. All the “cool” skydivers do it. I personally think it is a safety issue and I’m opposed to it. Just the suffocated rodents lying in the landing areas and around the hanger are bad enough, I mean what if a kid picked one up and got a disease from it? And the fact that on the sunrise load many of the people are siting funny on the ride to altitude, can these people really keep their minds clear and focused? The final offense was when the graphic below was posted in the restrooms. Sick man.

"We've been looking for the enemy for some time now. We've finally found him. We're surrounded. That simplifies things." CP

[Dougiefresh 0]

Ah, Monty Python beat us to it by 30 years...

LINKMAN
Yes. The Mouse Problem; This week 'The World Around Us' looks at the growing social phenomenon of Mice and Men. What makes a man want to be a mouse.

(Interviewer, Harold Voice, sitting facing a confessor. The confessor is badly lit and is turned away from camera.)

MR. A
(very slowly and painfully)

Well it's not a question of wantiing to be a mouse... it just sort of happens to you. All of a sudden you realize... that's what you want to be.

INTERVIEWER
And when did you first notice these... shall we say... tendencies?

MR. A
Well... I was about seventeen and some mates and me went to a party, and, er... we had quite a lot to drink... and then some of the fellows there ... started handing ... cheese around ... and well just out of curiosity 1 tried a bit ... and well that was that.

INTERVIEWER
And what else did these fellows do?

MR. A
Well some of them started dressing up as mice a bit ... and then when they'd got the costumes on they started ... squeaking.

INTERVIEWER
Yes. And was that all?

MR. A
That was all.

INTERVIEWER
And what was your reaction to this?

MR. A
Well I was shocked. But, er... gradually I came to feel that I was more at ease ... with other mice.

(Cut to linkman.)

LINKMAN
A typical case, whom we shall refer to as Mr A, although his real name is this:

VOICE OVER
(and CAPTION)

ARTHUR JACKSON
32A MILTON AVENUE,
HOUNSLOW, MIDDLESEX.

LINKMAN
What is it that attracts someone like Mr A to this way of life? I have with me a consultant psychiatrist.

(The camera pulls back to reveal the psychiatrist who places in front of himself a notice saying 'The Amazing Kargol And Janet '.)

KARGOL
Well, we've just heard a typical case history. I myself have over seven hundred similar histories, all fully documented. Would you care to choose one?

(Janet [Carol Cleveland], dressed in showgirl's outfit, enters and offers Linkman the case histories fanned out like cards, with one more prominent than the others; he picks it out.)

KARGOL
(without looksing)

Mr Arthur Aidridge of Leamington.

LINKMAN
Well, that's amazing, amazing. Thank you, Janet.

(chord; Janet postures and exits)

Kargol, speaking as a psychiatrist as opposed to a conjuror...

KARGOL
(disappointed)

Oh...

LINKMAN
...what makes certain men want to be mice?

KARGOL
Well, we psychiatrists have found that over 8% of the population will always be mice. I mean, after all, there's something of the mouse in all of us. I mean, how many of us can honestly say that at one time or another he hasn't felt sexually attracted to mice.

(Linkman looks puzzled)

I know I have. I mean, most normal adolescents go through a stage of squeaking two or three times a day. Some youngsters on the other hand, are attracted to it by its very illegality. It's like murder - make a thing illegal and it acquires a mystique.

(Linkman looks increasingly embarrassed)

Look at arson - I mean, how many of us can honestly say that at one time or another he hasn't set fire to some great public building. I know I have.

(phone on desk rings; the Linkman picks it up but does not answer it)

The only way to bring the crime figures down is to reduce the number of offences - get it out in the open - I know I have,

LINKMAN
(replacing phone)

'l'he Amazing Kargol And Janet. What a lot of people don't realize is that a mouse, once accepted, can fulfil a very useful role in society. Indeed there are examples throughout history of famous men now known to have been mice.

(Cut to Julius Caesar [Graham Chapman] on beach. He shouts 'Veni Vidi, Vici'. Then he adds a furtive squeak. Napoleon [Terry Jones] pulls slice of cheese out of jacket and bites into it. Cut to Linkman)

LINKMAN
And, of course, Hillaire Belloc. But what is the attitude...

(Cut to man in a Viking helmet.)

VIKING ...of the man in the street towards...
LINKMAN
...this growing social problem?

(Vox pops films.)

WINDOW CLEANER
Clamp down on them.

OFF-SCREEN VOICE
How?

WINDOW CLEANER
I'd strangle them.

STOCKBROKER
Well speaking as a member of the Stock Exchange I would suck their brains out with a straw, sell the widows and orphans and go into South American Zinc.

FIRST MAN
Yeh I'd, er, stuff sparrows down their throats, er, until the beaks stuck out through the, er, stomach walls.

ACCOUNTANT
Oh well I'm a chartered accountant, and consequently too boring to be of interest.

VICAR
I feel that these poor unfortunate people should be free to live the lives of their own choice.

PORTER
I'd split their nostrils open with a boat hook, I think.

SECOND MAN
Well I mean, they can't help it, can they? But, er, there's nothing you can do about it. So er, I'd kill 'em.

(Cut to linkman.)

LINKMAN
Clearly the British public's view is a hostile one.

VOICE OVER
(and CAPTION)

'HOSTILE'

LINKMAN
But perhaps this is because so little is generally known of these mice men. We have some film now taken of one of the notorious weekend mouse parties, where these disgusting little perverts meet.

(Cut to exterior house (night). The blinds are drawn so that only shadows of enormous mice can be seen, holding slices of cheese and squeaking.)

LINKMAN'S VOICE
Mr A tells us what actually goes on at these mouse parties.

(Cut to Mr A.)

Mr A
Well first of all you get shown to your own private hole in the skirting board... then you put the mouse skin on... then you scurry into the main room, and perhaps take a run in the wheel.

LINKMAN
The remainder of this film was taken secretly at one of these mouse parties by a BBC cameraman posing as a vole. As usual we apologize for the poor quality of the film.

(Very, poor quality film, shadowy shapes, the odd mouse glimpsed.)

Mr A'S VOICE
Well, er, then you steal some cheese, Brie or Camembert, or Cheddar or Gouda, if you're on the harder stuff. You might go and see one of the blue cheese films... there's a big clock in the middle of the room, and about 12.5o you climb up it and then ...eventually, it strikes one... and you all run down.

(Cut to a large matron with apron and cawing knife)

LINKMAN'S VOICE
And what's that?

Mr A'S VOICE That's the farmer's wife.

(Cut to the linkman at desk.)

LINKMAN
Perhaps we need to know more of these mice men before we can really judge them. Perhaps not. Anyway, our thirty minutes are up.

(Sound of baa-ing. The linkman looks up in air, looks startled, pulls a gun fiom under the desk and fires in the air. The body of a sheep falls to the floor.)

LINKMAN Goodnight.

Human beings, who are almost unique in having the ability to learn from the experience of others, are also remarkable for their apparent disinclination to do so. --Douglas Adams

[Snowwhite 0]

Quote

As far has hardcore sex goes, I am against that, however a BLOWJOB IS NOT HARDCORE SEX.....anything that does not involve video and groups is not hardcore sex, I am pro sex all the way and always will be. I do not condone sex on the plane, especially during jumps, but once the beer light is on HELL YA! That is one thing I love so much about being a skydiver and being around dropzones so much is that the majority of people are open minded and view sex the same way as I do....okay you may flame me now...

Yea, what he said, I mean we had a president define this for us, it is definitely not something that qualifies as 'sex', much less hardcore.

skydiveTaylorville.org
freefallbeth@yahoo.com

[jumper03 0]

Quote

best thread ever!!!

Nah....
this is the best thread ever....

http://www.dropzone.com/cgi-bin/forum/gforum.cgi?post=498058

Scars remind us that the past is real

[justaflygirl 0]

Quote

As far has hardcore sex goes, I am against that, however a BLOWJOB IS NOT HARDCORE SEX.....anything that does not involve video and groups is not hardcore sex,..

I thought everythign at a DZ has something to do with video & big groups...

[Opie 0]

Quote

Quote

As far has hardcore sex goes, I am against that, however a BLOWJOB IS NOT HARDCORE SEX.....anything that does not involve video and groups is not hardcore sex,..

I thought everythign at a DZ has something to do with video & big groups...

Yeah and that's a problem when it comes to sex. I mean I don't want someone under canopy worrying about what sex act they did with who last night showing up on dvd. At your home fine, but not at the DZ, not when it affects my safety I cannot stress enough that what you do at home is your business but if it's at the DZ and affects you while you're jumping the next day don't do it and besides if you should actually go in because you were thinking about what you had done and it comes out in the police report it will make the dz look bad.

[kai2k1 0]

I think this thread should be nominated for thread of the year!!!!

There's no truer sense of flying than sky diving," Scott Cowan

[Greene 0]

We agree! Great thread.

We do not have a problem at our DZ with this second issue. We have also learned how to handle the second problem.

When you buy tickets, we cut off your dick, hand out chastity belts and when you finish skydiving, and leave the DZ we hand you your dick and unlock the
belts. :)

Skies blue to all

Lee

[321seeya 0]

OMFG! What if it got out that you had hard core sex with a WHUFFO on the DZ?! And it did end up on video, and the whuffo didnt sign a waiver? The DZ would be in trouble for sure! It could very well cost them everything!
Sex with a whuffo on the DZ....That ranks right up there with cocaine, and speed - Doesnt it?

BASE 3:16 - Even if you are about to land on a cop - DONT FORGET TO FLARE!
Free the soul -- DJ

[Greene 0]

You must be dreaming or on crack.

Tale a deep breath of fresh air, count to 10 and exhale slowly. Count slowly

You are one fat sick bastard for writing somehing like that addressed to me.

You are truly clueless.

Lee

[sunshine 2]

Lee, you forgot to unlock my belt last time i was there. I'm getting pretty horny, will you please please please send me the key??

___________________________________________
meow

I get a Mike hug! I get a Mike hug!

[Greene 0]

Hey little sweet pea! Not a chance in hell
Lee

[RastaRicanAir 0]

Someone mark down the date and the time because this is truly an occasion: I have NO RESPONSE.

Except to say that you just made me giggle my f***in' ass off. And I needed that. Grazi.

OrFunV/LocoBoca Rodriguez/Sonic Grieco/Muff Brother #4411
-"and ladies....messin with Robbie is venturing into territory you cant even imagine!-cuz Robbie is

[smellysue 0]

I may be a prud but if ppl want to do that sort of stuff then it should be done in the privicy of there own caravan or house or car what ever but no tinfront ofthe public i personnally and i know my otherhalf feels the same cos this is the reason we dont go to after houers parties at our home dz.

We dont really trust the ppl that do to behave them selves its all sex sex sex.
i thought all skydivers were just pissed sex craved maniachs and i still think some are and they need to sort them selves out.

our dz says no nude jumps no nudes onn dz during day but after hours when dz closed to public he couldn't care.

willies in ppl's faces and god knows what else.
but no one at DZ plays with themselves inthe plain

[bigway 4]

Quote

I may be a prud but if ppl want to do that sort of stuff then it should be done in the privicy of there own caravan or house or car what ever but no tinfront ofthe public i personnally and i know my otherhalf feels the same cos this is the reason we dont go to after houers parties at our home dz



BOO.....boo...boo,

I may be a prud

Ya think?

.Karnage Krew Gear Store
.

[blueskyserenity 0]

Quote

Someone mark down the date and the time because this is truly an occasion: I have NO RESPONSE.

Except to say that you just made me giggle my f***in' ass off. And I needed that. Grazi.

Boys don't giggle! They chuckle! Or do you have something to tell us????

Watch those willies boys! I'll be

I like coconuts. You can break them open and they smell like ladies lying in the sun!

[ZoneRat 0]

Last time I checked, you had to be of consentual age to skydive. But just because your "of age", doesn't mean there's not a right and wrong time to have sex.

Hey, if lil' Sissy Moistfist and lil' Joey Reacharound want to hookup after the beer light goes on, that's their perogative. But if they don't get any sleep that night and show up on for the Early Bird load all bleary eyed and yawning, that puts ME in danger, and that's just not right.

It was bad enough when people would disappear to do their "Safety Dirt Dive" inbetween loads, but when they flaunt it so brazenly as to actually "Dirt Dive" on ride to altitude, that's just going too far.

---

Should dzs take a stricter stance on nekkidness to keep us all safe? SGC has a very strict policy that I applaud them for: they kick people off the dz if they masturbate on the plane.

---

I totally agree with this. I mean if they continue all the way out the door, they may be so concentrated on pulling they might forget to pull!

I understand the DZ's a playground for adults, so do what you want, but I'm not goin' on some Sunset Bukkake Load just because some people think that kinda things "cool".

Just my .02. If you don't like what I say you can blow me... just not on ride to altitude, thank you very much.

“There are more things in Heaven and Earth, Horatio, than are dreamt of in your philosophies.”