dropdeded 0 #1 October 15, 2004 You find out a guy is violent towards his wife, what to do, what to do dropdeded------------------------------------------ The Dude Abides. - Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
RkyMtnHigh 0 #2 October 15, 2004 Depends on your relationship with the husband and/or the wife... If you're in it to protect the wife, I'd say be careful as he may think you have a different motivation; if the guy is your friend, then you should be able to have a "come to Jesus" talk with him. _________________________________________ Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
lawrocket 3 #3 October 15, 2004 What to do? 1) Take him out to a bar, hang out and have some drinks, and have some friends get her the hell out! 2) Call the police yourself. 3) Get a DV-110 from the courthouse and other forms and have her fill it out. 4) Do nothing and let her end up in the hospital... My wife is hotter than your wife. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
dropdeded 0 #4 October 15, 2004 Well, its the ex wife. She recently re-married, apparently hes a fuckin asshole. She has health issues and this shit really burns my ass. Not really interested in re-establishing anything with her, but this worm definately has an ass whoopin coming. dropdeded------------------------------------------ The Dude Abides. - Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Evelyn 0 #5 October 15, 2004 Quote You find out a guy is violent towards his wife, what to do, what to do dropdeded Shoot him?? Life is either a daring adventure or nothing ~ Helen Keller Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Sheenster303 0 #6 October 15, 2004 QuoteQuote You find out a guy is violent towards his wife, what to do, what to do dropdeded Shoot him?? DING DING DING!!! I think we have a winner!I'm so funny I crack my head open! P.M.S. #102 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
AggieDave 6 #7 October 15, 2004 I know it sucks, but put a finger on him and you'll be the one going to jail for a while instead of him. Take LawRocket's advice on this one, as much it sucks, I can understand. Someday I'll give you some stories about a couple friends of mine that were raped (women friends) and we knew who the guys were. Talk about HARD not to kick the guy's head in...--"When I die, may I be surrounded by scattered chrome and burning gasoline." Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
akarunway 1 #8 October 15, 2004 MYOBI hold it true, whate'er befall; I feel it, when I sorrow most; 'Tis better to have loved and lost Than never to have loved at all. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
wmw999 2,515 #9 October 15, 2004 You can't really do 1 or 4 since it's your ex-wife and you don't know him, and 3 is best if you have a friend bring it over. Make sure it's soon, because if he keeps it up, she's going to have fewer and fewer friends; isolation is something that happens. On http://www.ivillage.com there's a domestic violence board where they can probably give you more information. Most of those ladies are real survivors. Wendy W.There is nothing more dangerous than breaking a basic safety rule and getting away with it. It removes fear of the consequences and builds false confidence. (tbrown) Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
dropdeded 0 #10 October 15, 2004 MYOB what can not be remedied must be endured ------------------------------------------------------------ Women die because people "mind thier own business" This IS my business. dropdeded------------------------------------------ The Dude Abides. - Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
soulshine 0 #11 October 15, 2004 QuoteWomen die because people "mind thier own business" This IS my business. You are exactly right. I have first hand experience with this type of situation. The best thing to do is find the closest women's shelter for abused women. They have the resources to care for her, keep her safe from him, and help her get back on her feet. Many of them provide free legal services to help her in any way possible. Most even provide clothing and household item for those women that have had to leave everything behind. The most important thing is DO NOT punch the bastard like he deserves. This will only work against you in trying to help her. I truly hope everything works out for you. If you have any questions you can pm me. Good luck! Bombing for peace is like fucking for virginity! ~DEVIOUS BEEF~~FGF #69~ Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Lindsey 0 #12 October 15, 2004 Have you talked to her about getting out of the situation? She might have some ideas of her own. Shelters are a good idea, but if she has other options she might prefer a different route. Does she want to leave? I'd say help her see what options she has, and go from there. linz-- A conservative is just a liberal who's been mugged. A liberal is just a conservative who's been to jail Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Tonto 1 #13 October 15, 2004 Quote You find out a guy is violent towards his wife, what to do, what to do Well, firstly, you've blown it. Rule 1. Never let anyone else know you know - because now you have a motive. Had you not told us, the next step would be to get drunk with the dude. (Mainly get him drunk.) Once he's drunk, the options are nearly endless. People stumble into each other. They fall down stairs, or into the bonfire. Or they pass out in dangerous places, like under a pick-up, or during a swim or on their backs.. when they've been throwing up. Sometimes, they stumble into the traffic at just the wrong time. If they're not that drunk, often they will accept a dare, like walking along the edge of a building, or retrieving their car keys from a yard with pit bulls in it - where you threw them to keep him safe. I think it's important to use your imagination when it comes to these things. tIt's the year of the Pig. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
dropdeded 0 #14 October 15, 2004 Goin to talk to her today if possible. Not the best way to spend my time, talkin to the ex, but this shit kinda sent her over the edge and if I can help, I will. dropdeded------------------------------------------ The Dude Abides. - Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
flyangel2 2 #15 October 16, 2004 See there, you really are a nice guyDo what you have to do to get her away from the guy.May your trails be crooked, winding, lonesome, dangerous, leading to the most amazing view. May your mountains rise into and above the clouds. - Edward Abbey Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
MWGemini 0 #16 October 16, 2004 I like the way Tonto thinks. My personal opinion is gather a concerned friend or two and have a "talk" with him. When I was in the military, one of the guys in my unit got a underage girl drunk and tried to rape her. By the time we finished with him (after the Army kicked him out), I think he would've preferred to be dead. We beat the hell out of him and destroyed the engine in his Z28, his only way home. Sometimes it takes learning the lesson the hard way for people to actually LEARN. On that note, however, cover your ass and don't get arrested. Be sure she gets a restraining order on him and make sure the abuse is documented so you've got a legal recourse to protect her, but he definitely has something coming. Mike Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
crwmike 0 #17 October 16, 2004 QuoteMYOB what can not be remedied must be endured ------------------------------------------------------------ Women die because people "mind thier own business" This IS my business. dropdeded Drunks die becaule people mind their own business ...but you can't make them stop drinking. You can't do anything for her. You can, perhaps, provide support, encouragement and see if she wants to be hooked up with organizations that offer a safe place to make her own decisions ...if she wants out. Michael Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
crwmike 0 #18 October 16, 2004 QuoteWhat to do? 1) Take him out to a bar, hang out and have some drinks, and have some friends get her the hell out! 2) Call the police yourself. 3) Get a DV-110 from the courthouse and other forms and have her fill it out. 4) Do nothing and let her end up in the hospital... You planning on allowing her a voice in this? Michael Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
flyangel2 2 #19 October 16, 2004 QuoteYou can, perhaps, provide support, encouragement and see if she wants to be hooked up with organizations that offer a safe place to make her own decisions ...if she wants out. Michael you make some good points. The gal has to be willing to help herself but she also might need some help in getting to that situation. Sometimes when there is a controlling or abusive husband, he will take away any power that his wife/girlfriend has. Taking away car keys, the check book, and not allowing her to have any cash. Sometimes a friend has to step in to open the door of opportunity to allow her to get to a safe place. Once that door has been open, it's up to her to walk through it.May your trails be crooked, winding, lonesome, dangerous, leading to the most amazing view. May your mountains rise into and above the clouds. - Edward Abbey Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
dropdeded 0 #20 October 16, 2004 Talked to the step daughter last night. She told me her Mom has filed for divorce. Good. Now, the fuck still has one coming, and I hope to "see" it happen. Now, her brother lives in Taft, and theres a dz there, so, hmm, better jump in the shower, grab my gear, and go have a talk with her brother dropdeded------------------------------------------ The Dude Abides. - Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Skyrose7 0 #21 October 16, 2004 I work in domestic violence, and I am glad to hear that she filed for divorce. It takes a lot of strength to get out of a manipulative situation. I wouldn't take it upon yourself to talk to him. If they are still cohabiting, or even not, he could take it out on her. Most homocides related to domestic violence happen after the abused person leaves her partner. It is a critical period. If you do care about this person, I would still offer some dv info for her. There are YWCA's all over the country that offer domestic violence counceling and education classes. This will educate her on warning signs of a potentially abusive partner. http://www.ywca.org this is the national site that will connect you to the Y in your area. Good luck.~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ The mind is like a parachute--it works better when it is open. JUMP. MaryRose Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
lawrocket 3 #22 October 17, 2004 QuoteQuoteWhat to do? 1) Take him out to a bar, hang out and have some drinks, and have some friends get her the hell out! 2) Call the police yourself. 3) Get a DV-110 from the courthouse and other forms and have her fill it out. 4) Do nothing and let her end up in the hospital... You planning on allowing her a voice in this? Michael Um, yeah. Believe it or not, her cooperation is required for any of the three options. Police get a report? Gotta be firsthand from her. Do the words "her fill it out" mean anything to you? My wife is hotter than your wife. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
crwmike 0 #23 October 17, 2004 QuoteQuoteQuoteWhat to do? 1) Take him out to a bar, hang out and have some drinks, and have some friends get her the hell out! 2) Call the police yourself. 3) Get a DV-110 from the courthouse and other forms and have her fill it out. 4) Do nothing and let her end up in the hospital... You planning on allowing her a voice in this? Michael Um, yeah. Believe it or not, her cooperation is required for any of the three options. Police get a report? Gotta be firsthand from her. Do the words "her fill it out" mean anything to you? Relax, son. My point was that men (young men, especially) tend to want to swoop in and rescue the maid in distress. She may or may not want to be rescued or cooperate with your plans. I know this goes against your lawyer training, but find out what's going on before stepping in. ;) What to do? Talk to her and find out what her feelings are about the situation and what she wants. Michael Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
