My wife had a melt down last night. :(

[Brian425 0]

Well, I was going through my gear and getting ready for my first jump back from my injury and my wife just walked in and started crying. She is worried that I will get hurt again. She supports my jumping, she just worries. I feel bad. I am going to jump; but, I want to make it as easy as possible on her.

The only time you should look down on someone is when you are offering them your hand.

[Conundrum 1]

Quote

I am going to jump; but, I want to make it as easy as possible on her.

Kind of contradicting don't you think?

[Brian425 0]

That's the hard part. She gave me the money to buy a new helmet. She told me she supports me jumping. Then this. She is NEVER like this. She is straight to the point and does not play games about how she feels. If she did not want me to jump; she is the type of woman to say so.

Hopefully she'll come to the DZ and hang out as she usually does. And we both can have a nice day.

The only time you should look down on someone is when you are offering them your hand.

[Conundrum 1]

How come she doesn't jump? Maybe if you could get her to join you she'd have more peace of mind?

[loflyer 0]

Brian, I know what you are going through! I broke my leg on my 30th jump (after running into a kit fox hole). I was out of the sport for 9 1/2 months! When I was heading out to the dropzone for my first jump back, my kids started crying & asking me not to go... I had to explain to them that
skydiving was a big part of my life, & that I take every precaution to keep from hurting myself. They knew how much I loved this sport & how much skydiving is a part of my life. Only after my oldest daughter did a Tandem, did she finally realize what I had been trying to explain to them about the feeling of "flying".

Has your wife ever jumped? Does she go the DZ with you when you jump?

Just try to be understanding of her feelings, & hopefully she will get more comfortable with the thought of you jumping. My family still thinks Im nuts (which I guess I am), but they have gotten use to it, but still worry. This sport is really hard for some people to understand why we feel the need to throw ourselves out of planes, I always reply, "Don;t knock it until you try it" Have a great first jump back..
Blue Skies

[Brian425 0]

No, she does not jump. She says she is too afraid to try it. Usually she comes to the DZ. She studies, chats with everyone and just hangs out and has fun. Now she does not want to go to the DZ. Hopefully she will come around.

The only time you should look down on someone is when you are offering them your hand.

[FrenchyDiver 0]

Pssstt..It's called love But you already knew that.

I went through the same situation. I quit skydiving for many years when I got married. It was my choice, BTW. Then last year I decided to get back in the air. My wife had also her own way of reacting to the news, so had my daughter. Yes she knew that one day I was going to jump again.
Nevertheless, I'll told them not to worry. I went, did my refresh jump and called her once I landed and took my equipment off. Also brought them a vid tape of the jump for them to watch.
A few weeks later, I took them with me to the DZ so they could see it by themselves what it is all about. Didin't jump that day so I could be with them introduce them to the gang etc... They loved it.
She never jumped and probably never will. It's not her "thing" and that's fine with both of us.

Think about calling her after your first jump. then if she's never been to a DZ, take her there and be with her, introduce her to your buddies, tell her what people are doing, make her feel part of it.

Good luck

Hispas Brothers President
HISPA #2,

[flyinghonu 0]

I think its only natural for the people we love to worry about us. Lets not beat around the bush, this IS a risky sport. I find that most of the problems with my hubby's worrying comes because he simply doesn't understand a lot about the sport. Very carefully (i.e. not condescending or teaching like), I explain different aspects of the sport and equipment to educate him as to the safety aspects of the sport. Its is happening slowly, but with his understanding comes less worry each time I go out.

Just my thoughts. Good luck

"Excuse me while I kiss the sky..." - Jimi Hendrix

[christoofar 0]

My mother was this way after I went into to the hospital and then she learned that as soon as the sling came off I was back in the air again.

Look at it this way bub, it's proof she does love you a whole lot (and I'll be you'll get a lot of good sex out of it, too ). Just be sure that you don't get carried away abandon her every weekend for the jumping. I would try to get her to go to the DZ with you and be supportive... tell her how much it means for her to be there with you.

____________________________________________________________
I'm RICK JAMES! Fo shizzle.

[christoofar 0]

Quote

I think its only natural for the people we love to worry about us. Lets not beat around the bush, this IS a risky sport. I find that most of the problems with my hubby's worrying comes because he simply doesn't understand a lot about the sport. Very carefully (i.e. not condescending or teaching like), I explain different aspects of the sport and equipment to educate him as to the safety aspects of the sport. Its is happening slowly, but with his understanding comes less worry each time I go out.

Just my thoughts. Good luck

Good point. You might want to remind your loved one that skydiving is a part of who you are, and you went into the marriage game knowing this. It's not something you're willing to throw away. After all, she married you because you're a skydiving stud, riiiight?

____________________________________________________________
I'm RICK JAMES! Fo shizzle.

[JeffD 0]

My fiance came out for one of my student solos, but I was told to ride the plane down. She never saw my canopy, or me until I walked off the plane. She collapsed by manifest in tears.

Now she is bugging to go out and jump.

She might not understand but she should be happy your happy.

[christoofar 0]

I've known a few skydivers who've managed to go on family tandems.... whole immediate family is on jump run. Now THAT is cool. Can you imagine mom, dad, sis, bro, cuz, etc all on the same jumprun doing their first tandem??? Talk about family bonding!

____________________________________________________________
I'm RICK JAMES! Fo shizzle.

[Brian425 0]

Well, I came home with flowers from work today. She handed me $16.50 (one jump ticket) in a card. The card said Good Luck. LOL. I guess this is why we get along. We worry and care about each other.

The only time you should look down on someone is when you are offering them your hand.

[peacefuljeffrey 0]

Quote

That's the hard part. She gave me the money to buy a new helmet. She told me she supports me jumping. Then this. She is NEVER like this. She is straight to the point and does not play games about how she feels. If she did not want me to jump; she is the type of woman to say so.

Hopefully she'll come to the DZ and hang out as she usually does. And we both can have a nice day.

I think you should just hug her and kiss her and tell her you love her sooooo much and will never leave her -- all the comfy stuff that people like to hear that puts them at ease. I think that if you say you PROMISE to not get killed skydiving, it will hold weight even though it is, of course, not valid to promise such a thing. People just like hearing reassurances, even if they are counterintuitive.

And do your skydiving inside the damned envelope, and chances are you won't get injured or killed. Take it from me, with 109 jumps, 0 swoops, that you can have a lot of enjoyment from skydiving even if you're not doing the crazy-high-risk stuff!

-Jeffrey

-Jeffrey
"With tha thoughts of a militant mind... Hard line, hard line after hard line!"

[Muenkel 0]

Brian,

One thing I have learned through my injury is that we don't suffer it alone. Our loved ones go through their own hell watching us suffer and wondering what could have happened. I found out later that during the several months when I was unable to speak in full sentences and could not walk without holding onto something, my sisters or my mother would burst out in tears when I left the room. So, I understand why your wife had the meltdown. I think it is great she gave you that jump ticket. Just don't forget that she is probably very nervous.

Best of luck on your jump bro,
Chris

[tbrown 26]

Brian, I'm in the same boat too and will be making my first jump back after an injury this Sunday. My wife's always been very supportive. We met at Perris in 1980 when she made her first and only jump. I hung it up for 22 years, though she never asked me to and during all those years she always told me she'd married a skydiver and that some day I'd jump again. Even during the years I didn't believe it myself. So I finally started back last year and she's been wonderful about it because she says I haven't been this happy in years. So what do I do this spring, but go and 180 my foot on a no winder. She came out to Elsinore to get me and everyone was AMAZED at how good she was about it. The only thing she's put her foot down is that I upsize my canopy, which I've done from a 190 to a 210. A small price to pay for a guy who weighs 250 out the door anyway.

But she's nervous about Sunday. Truth is, so am I, but it's only natural. fear of getting hurt again is completely natural and we just have to get by it and then everything will look a lot better. Be patient with her, and much as you'd love to see her do it, don't bug her to try it if she doesn't want to. I'd love my wife to try a tandem just once, to see what freefall's like, but she "has no interest whatever", so that's fine. If your wife's been hangin' out at the DZ, she's a jewel, but don't expect that either if she gets busy with things. My wife's got too many things going on in her life to waste a day at the DZ, especially now that she's making glass art.

Best of luck to us both and just go show your wife how much you love her.

Your humble servant.....Professor Gravity !

[lightningbugirl 0]

She sounds just awesome Brian. What a sweetie! You're lucky, she loves you very, very much and it's obvious she wants you to be happy.

[BETO74 0]

It will pass, my girlfriend lives with me and she used to give me crap about going skydiving every weekend blah, blah you know the story, I had a couple close call the past year, now she is happy giving me a kiss before I go.

Now I am fighting to get that pool table that fits perfect in my new livingroom, a week ago was there is no way you're gonna do that, yesterday was " you do what ever you want with your place" one more week and I'll get her to agree with me glad"

and really.........it fits perfect I need 18' x 14' and I have 18' x 13'-6" is that the call of a pool table or what!!!!

http://web.mac.com/ac057a/iWeb/AC057A/H0M3.html

[jimmytavino 16]

she handed me 16.50 ( one jump ticket) in a card ***

...good deal.... the Ranch rocks.!.. 16.50 for a skydive at full altitude,?,, and from a super otter???
that's great in this day of crazy fuel prices...
.. your wife loves ya' and sounds like a real 'partner'
honor her trust and confidence in you,,, and Skydive Safely !!!!!

• Quote

[Airman1270 0]

...She supports my jumping, she just worries...
_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Wow... I don't spend much time in "envy" mode, but...

When we started dating in the mid '80's my wife thought it was fascinating. At the time I was driving 3+ hours to the DZ. She liked to come along & watch, and eventually said she wanted to try a tandem. Then, while camping at the Ranch in May 1990 we watched a guy with 2000 jumps go in. Even so, she wasn't much fazed and made her jump a few weeks later. She said it was "nice" and never jumped again. Meanwhile, she knew that skydiving was something I did once in a while and didn't have a problem with it.

Fast forward to marriage... I gave my boss five month's notice and moved to Georgia, with three DZ's nearby. FINALLY I could become current and went to the DZ almost every weekend. I didn't jump a lot, usually one or two a week, but I was beginning to learn to actually fly and get to know people. Meanwhile, she was pissed that I was going to the DZ every Saturday, and wanted no more of it. Sigh.

A few years ago I asked if she was afraid of an accident. She said no, it's just the money. (She doesn't have any hobbies or friends and doesn't understand the concept of cameraderie.) When I do jump, she expects me to go to the DZ the way I go to a fast food place. At McDonald's I buy my stuff and leave. I don't hang around and build relationships with the other customers & staff.

So here I am, trying to compromise and getting crapped on. I spend most weekends at home and make fewer than 50 jumps a year and she's complaining about all of the time/money I spend at the DZ. She blew a fuse last winter when I put my foot down and said I was (finally) buying new gear after jumping a Wonderhog since 1985. The only consolation was that I wasn't getting much sex anyway so she couldn't retaliate my taking that away...

She can be a sweetie, and she's a damn good cook, but I really admire you guys whose wives enjoy watching you celebrate flight and sharing the experience with your friends.

Please kill me,
Jon

[happythoughts 0]

Skydiving is a "measured risk" sport. It is dangerous. We try to examine all the risks and then do what we can to avoid them through training and learning. We should do everything we can to be safe and let our SO know that. That is the only comfort that your SO will have.

Even among married couples who both jump, there is a fear for the other. I watched a guy riding a spinning main. He couldn't chop it until very low. His wife, who jumps, was on the other side of a building and thought he went in.

Her reaction was the same as any other wife until he showed up safe.

[peregrinerose 0]

Quote

Even among married couples who both jump, there is a fear for the other. I watched a guy riding a spinning main. He couldn't chop it until very low. His wife, who jumps, was on the other side of a building and thought he went in.

My husband and I are infinitely more worried about each other than ourselves. I landed a bit out, near an electric fence, yesterday, he told me he was a mess thinking I'd hit it. Landed fine, no where near the fence, at least 50 feet away, but he was still concerned for me. I can't stand watching him leave a plane or to watch him in freefall before I exit.

Do or do not, there is no try -Yoda