AggieDave 6 #1 January 28, 2003 Alright, I just remember a really bad joke, so I thought I should share (although I posted it just now in a different thread). What's everyone's favorite really bad joke? "Hear about the new 4-door Yugo coming out this year? They're going to call it a Wego..." My other favorite really bad joke: Al Gore.--"When I die, may I be surrounded by scattered chrome and burning gasoline." Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
homer 0 #2 January 28, 2003 My brothers a lawyer and told me these- Q- Whats red, white and black that can't go through a revolving door? A- A nun with a spear through her head. Q- Why do you stick babies feet first into a blender? A- To see the expression on their face. Now don't go getting mad at me for that one I was just repeating it. I thought it was BAD as well even for a lawyer. CSA #699 Muff #3804 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
lazerq3 0 #3 January 28, 2003 A pair of jumper cables walk into a bar....bartender looks up and says.."You two better not start anything!"" jasonFreedom of speech includes volume Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
n2skdvn 0 #4 January 28, 2003 Q:three guys are walking down a street 2 walk into a bar what did the other guy do? A: he ducked!!! if my calculations are correct SLINKY + ESCULATOR = EVERLASTING FUN my site Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Kris 0 #5 January 28, 2003 Q. What did George Washington say to his men before crossing the Delaware? A. "Get in the boat." KrisSky, Muff Bro, Rodriguez Bro, and Bastion of Purity and Innocence!™ Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
blewaway5 0 #6 January 28, 2003 Let's see, ouch, ouch, ouch, ouch and ouch. Those are some 'special' jokes you all are telling here. Truman Sparks for President Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
suz 0 #7 January 28, 2003 Q: What's red, and looks like a bucket? A: A red bucket Q: What's green and looks like a bucket? A: A red bucket in disguise! Don't bother me, I'm living happily ever after Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
TomAiello 26 #8 January 28, 2003 What do you get when you marry a nun?None in the morning and none at night.-- Tom Aiello Tom@SnakeRiverBASE.com SnakeRiverBASE.com Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Scratch 0 #9 January 28, 2003 Q What is green and turns red at the push of a button? A A frog in a blender. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Scratch 0 #10 January 28, 2003 Q What is green and stays green at the push of a button. A A frog that can tapdance Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
dropdeded 0 #11 January 28, 2003 Whats silver and pink and crawls into walls? A baby with forks stuck in his eyesok,that wasnt bad,that was awful dropdeded ------------------------------------------ The Dude Abides. - Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
suz 0 #12 January 28, 2003 Q: What do you do when you have a fight with your blind husband? A: Move the furniture! Don't bother me, I'm living happily ever after Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
ScottishJohn 25 #13 January 28, 2003 Where do I start. Whats brown and looks sticky A stick---------------------------------------------------------------------- If you think my attitude stinks you should smell my fingers Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
kingbunky 3 #14 January 28, 2003 q. how do you make a cat go woof? a. soak him in gas and toss a match at him. q. how do you make a dog go meow? a. freeze him solid and run him through a bandsaw. "Hang on a sec, the young'uns are throwin' beer cans at a golf cart." MB4252 TDS699 killing threads since 2001 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Scratch 0 #15 January 28, 2003 Seeing that sick baby jokes are being posted. Q What is the difference between a truckload of bricks and a truckload of babies? A You cannot offload bricks with a pitchfork Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
sharpfive 0 #16 January 28, 2003 What do you call a nun that's had a sex change operation? A transistor. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Scratch 0 #17 January 28, 2003 Two nuns are sitting in the bath. "Wheres the soap" says one. "It does doesn't it" says the other. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
jerry81 10 #18 January 28, 2003 Two green cows are sitting in a tree knitting sweaters, when a crocodile comes flying past. "Well," says one cow to another; "now I've seen everything." That's one of the worst that I can remember. But if we're talking tasteless jokes, I bet I could get my virtual ass banned off this forum before you can say "dead baby abuse". Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Scratch 0 #19 January 28, 2003 A guy is busy going down on a girl he picked up in the bar late at night. As he munches away he sucks out a pea. In his pissed state he spits it out and gets right back to it. A few seconds later he sucks out a bit of brocolli, spits and goes to it. Immediately he gets a mouthful of diced carrots. Looking quite shocked he looks up and asks "What is the matter with you? Are you sick?" "No" she answers "but the guy before you was" Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Scratch 0 #20 January 28, 2003 Two submarines are sitting in a tree playing cards. At that moment a steel bird comes flying by. "Hey look, a steel bird" says the one sub "Yup it probably has a nest around here" says the other. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
DYEVOUT 0 #21 January 28, 2003 This guy with an advanced case of leprosy is sitting at a ballgame when the guy next to him leans over and pukes on the ground. The leper apologizes to the guy for his oozing sores making the guy sick, but the man assures the leper that this is not the case. A couple innings go by and the guy barfs again. Once more the leper apologizes to the guy and offers to find another seat, and once more the man tells him "it's not your fault". A couple more innings go by and the leper looks over to find the guy dry-heaving like hell. The leper tells the guy he appreciates the man's not wanting to hurt his feelings, but it is obviously the leper's deplorable and revolting condition that is making the man ill, so the leper begins to gather his things to find another seat. The guy again assures the leper that his condition isn't the cause of the violent horking and wretching. The leper finally asks the man "if it's not me, what is making you so sick?". The man responds "honest to god - it's not you, it's the guy behind you - dipping his nachos in your BACK. ----------------=8^)---------------------- "I think that was the wrong tennis court." Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
jerry81 10 #22 January 28, 2003 If we're going there... -What did the leper say to the prostitute? -Keep the tip, baby! -Whats one thing you don't do to a baby leper? -Got your nose! -What's the worse thing to happen to a leper!? -An epileptic fit. -How can you tell if a valentine is from a leper? -The tongue's still in the envelope. Just don't ask for more. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
sharpfive 0 #23 January 28, 2003 Did you hear about the leper hockey game? There was a face-off in the corner. A prostitute worked a leper colony and did very well until business started dropping off. Did you hear about the leper that got in a car accident? He left his foot on the gas. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
DYEVOUT 0 #24 January 28, 2003 The leper poker game: ----------------------------- Everyone threw their hand in. ----------------=8^)---------------------- "I think that was the wrong tennis court." Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
airtwardo 7 #25 January 28, 2003 After watching yet another line of women apply make-up...talk on the phone...reading a newspaper..in traffic this morning, I've come to the undeniable conclusion.... All cars made in America have two seats in the front... ...The one one the left is the drivers seat...the one on the right is the CHICK SEAT!! ~ If you choke a Smurf, what color does it turn? ~ Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
