What the hell...Friday jokes.

[YahooLV 0]

What to you call a cow with only two front legs?



"LEAN BEEF!"



next.......

http://www.curtisglennphotography.com

[Marz 0]

Two peanuts walking down the street.

One was assaulted.

_________________________________________
Did I just kill another thread?

[spidermonky 0]

A dog limps into a bar and says... "I'm lookin for the man who shot my paw"!

[CrazyThomas 0]

And what do you call a cow with no legs?


Ground Beef!





Thomas

[lemonjelly 0]

Guy goes into the doctors surgery..

Doc: "what seems to be the problem"
Patient "My farts really smell, I'm losing all my friends over it"
Doc: can you give me an example"
Patient then lets one go. The doctor rises from his seat, walks off and comes back with a large pole with a hook on the end
Patient: "So what exactly do I do with this as a cure"
Doc: "It's not a cure, It's to be used to open that window you fucking smelly bastard"

*************************************************
RED LIGHTS & OFF LANDINGS ARE JUST MY THANG
http://www.redlightrob.co.uk

[turtlespeed 219]

What do you call a parapalegic in a jaccuzi?




Stu

I'm not usually into the whole 3-way thing, but you got me a little excited with that. - Skymama
BTR #1 / OTB^5 Official #2 / Hellfish #408 / VSCR #108/Tortuga/Orfun

[diablopilot 2]

What do you call a guy with no arms and no legs lying on the porch?





Matt

----------------------------------------------
You're not as good as you think you are. Seriously.

[turtlespeed 219]

Quote

What do you call a guy with no arms and no legs lying on the porch?





Matt

What do you call a guy with no arms and no legs:

Leaning against your wall? - Art

In your pool? - Bob

I'm not usually into the whole 3-way thing, but you got me a little excited with that. - Skymama
BTR #1 / OTB^5 Official #2 / Hellfish #408 / VSCR #108/Tortuga/Orfun

[DYEVOUT 0]

A guy with no arms or legs:

. . in a pile of leaves - Russell

. . hanging on a wall - Art

. . swimming - Bob

. . waterskiing - Skip

. . that can ring your doorbell - Dick

. . laying in a ravine - Phil

----------------=8^)----------------------
"I think that was the wrong tennis court."

[Thanatos340 1]

This String walks into a Bar and tries to order a Drink. The barkeep says Sorry we don’t serves Strings in here. The string begs for a while but the barkeep still says no.
The String goes outside and balls himself up and rolls around for a while. He then goes back into the bar and Orders a Drink. The Barkeep says Hey aren’t you that String that was just in here?
The String Replies, "NO, I am Afraid Not".


This Mushroom walks into a Bar. He starts Buying Round after Round of Drinks for everyone in the bar. Finally someone walks up to the mushroom and says You are a Nice Guy.
The Mushroom replies, "No, I am Not a Nice Guy... I am a Fun Guy!!"

[happythoughts 0]

I guy walks into a bar with a pair of jumper cables.

The bartender say, "You can't come in here with those." The guy says, "Look, I just want a couple of beers." The bartender replies, "Ok, but don't try to start anything".

[lawrocket 3]

Quote

A guy with no arms or legs:

. . in a pile of leaves - Russell

in a pile of rotting leaves - Pete

. . hanging on a wall - Art

Arms and legs hanging on the wall - pieces of Art

. . swimming - Bob

. . waterskiing - Skip

at the bottom of a lake - Sandy


. . that can ring your doorbell - Dick

. . laying in a ravine - Phil

falling into a ravine - Doug

Two guys with no arms or legs above your window - Curt 'n Rod

Woman with no arms of legs on roller skates - Dolly

... on a fence - Barb

Skydiving lawyer with no arms or legs - Skeet

My wife is hotter than your wife.

[Thanatos340 1]

A Bear walks into a Bar.. Orders a Beer. Barkeep says We don’t serve Bears in here. The Bear says, Hey.. Look at me. I am a Huge Mean Nasty Grizzly Bear!! The Barkeep says, I don’t care. We don’t serve Bears.
The Bear Says, either you give me a Beer or You See that girl sitting at the end of the... I will Kill her and Eat Her.
Barkeeps Says, We don’t serve Bears!!
So the Bear walks to the end of the Bar, Slices the Girl up with his claws, Shoves the Pieces in his mouth and then licks the Blood off the bar. He then Looks at the Barkeep and says, Get me a Beer.
The Barkeep says, Sorry.. We don’t serve Druggies in here!!
Huh?? Says the bear.. What are you talking about?
Yep, says the barkeep... "That was a Bar Bitch You Ate!!"


(ok, Sorry for that one. Bad even by my Low standards )

[lemonjelly 0]

OK, Im gonna repeat this one in this thread.......

A butcher asks his assistant to get him some meat from the top shelf
The assistant replies " No I can't, the steaks are too high"

*************************************************
RED LIGHTS & OFF LANDINGS ARE JUST MY THANG
http://www.redlightrob.co.uk

[lemonjelly 0]

A guy uner a car..... JACK

*************************************************
RED LIGHTS & OFF LANDINGS ARE JUST MY THANG
http://www.redlightrob.co.uk

[YahooLV 0]

Now that's what I call a Friday funny!

Keep 'em comin!

http://www.curtisglennphotography.com

[IseeElvis 0]

Some kid and his little brother decides that it's time for them to start swearing. So when their mother is asking them at the breakfast table what they would like to have the oldest of the two replies ' shit mum i'll like some bloody chocopops' . His mother smacks him in the face and sends him up to his room , then asks the other one what he likes for breakfast. He answers ' eh I don't know really , but you can bet your fucking ass on it that it won't be your shit chocopops.

Pardon my french

[flyhi 24]

What do you call a girl with one leg?

Eileen

What do you call her if she lives in Japan?

Irene

Shit happens. And it usually happens because of physics.

[Jeth 0]

Quote

What do you call a girl with one leg?

Eileen

What do you call her if she lives in Japan?

Irene

LOL I like that one.

"At 13,000 feet nothing else matters."
PFRX!!!!!
Team Funnel #174, Sunshine kisspass #109
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