Alcohol Quotes/Sayings

[RkyMtnHigh 0]

"To alcohol, the nights that you'll never remember, with the friends you'll never forget." - Anon

"Alcoholism is the only disease that you get yelled at for having" - Mitch Hedberg

"To alcohol! The cause of..and the solution to all life's problems" - Homer Simpson

"Yes, madam, I am drunk. But in the morning, I will be sober and you will still be ugly"-Winston Churchill

"Alcohol is the anesthesia by which we endure the operation of life" - George Bernard Shaw

"You're not really drunk if you're laying on the floor without holding on" - Anon

"Always do sober what you said you'd do drunk. That will teach you to keep your mouth shut" -Ernest Hemmingway




Any other good ones out there?...or any funny or embarrassing moments to share?

_________________________________________

[gordy 0]

I don't have a drink problem...
I drink
I get drunk
I fall over
No problem!

[mr2mk1g 10]

Rehab is for quitters.

[lawrocket 3]

"When I read about the evils of drinking I gave up reeading" - I can't remember who said that.

"I feel sorry for people who don't drink, because when they wake up in the morning, that's the best they're gonna feel all day. " - Sinatra

"Beer is proof that god loves us and wants us to be happy." - Benjamin Franklin

"I'd rather have a bottle in front of me than a frontal lobotomy." - Tom Waits

"Come quickly, I am tasting stars." - Charlemagne, on the discovery of champagne.

"" - random skydiver.

My wife is hotter than your wife.

[TomAiello 26]

"Beware of strong drink. It can make you shoot at tax collectors, and miss." - Robert Heinlein

-- Tom Aiello

Tom@SnakeRiverBASE.com
SnakeRiverBASE.com

[JohnRich 4]

"I'm not half as thunk as you drink I am!"

[wildcard451 0]

NO, realy.....I'm sboer, I swaer

[NYCFreeFall 0]

"I don't drink any more... I don't drink any less either"

1st guy: "you still drinking"
2nd guy: "no, no, I quit... wait, you buying?"

[RkyMtnHigh 0]

"I was arrested for drinking in public. I was in a bar, and they THREW me in public" - Ron White

"They caallll me Tater Salad" - Ron White

_________________________________________

[happythoughts 0]

From Rantoul:

"You make absolutely no sense when you are drunk."

"We were just checking to see if you were ok 'cause you were just laying there. We come out here to pee about every 30 minutes, maybe you can walk by then."

[Taylor610 0]

Wife, "What are you doing coming home half drunk?"

Husband, "I ran out of money?"

[NeedToJump 0]

Quote

You're not really drunk if you're laying on the floor without holding on

I believe that is a Dean Martin quote

Wind Tunnel and Skydiving Coach http://www.ariperelman.com

[CrazyIvan 0]

"I don't think...I drink" - Fideo (Once Upon A Time In Mexico)

__________________________________________
Blue Skies and May the Force be with you.

[Zoter 0]

" Beer........helping ugly people have sex, since 1680"

[Angel25 0]

"I don't have a drinking problem,
I'm just really thirsty."

[SpeedRacer 1]

from W C Fields:

Some contemptible scoundrel has stolen the cork from my lunch.

Reminds me of my safari in Africa. Somebody forgot the corkscrew and for several days we had to live on nothing but food and water.

I always keep a supply of stimulant handy in case I see a snake--which I also keep handy.

Dave Barry:
Electricity is actually made up of extremely tiny particles called electrons, that you cannot see with the naked eye unless you have been drinking.

Homer (800 BC - 700 BC):
The wine urges me on, the bewitching wine, which sets even a wise man to singing and to laughing gently and rouses him up to dance and brings forth words which were better unspoken.

Frank Sinatra:
I feel sorry for people who do not drink. When they wake up in the morning it is as good as they are going to feel all day.

I think this one is from Henny Youngman:
"My mother is 83 years old, & still doesn't need glasses. She just drinks straight from the bottle."

Speed Racer
--------------------------------------------------

[RippedCord 0]

Everyone's got to believe in something; I believe I'll have another drink.

-Alcoholics Unanimous

AMDG

[tillamookjohn 0]

I stopped drinking when they invented the funnel.

I'd like to see things from your point of view, but I can't get my head that far up my ass.

[ACMESkydiver 0]

"Quick, hold my beer....check this shit out, guys!!"

~Jaye
Do not believe that possibly you can escape the reward of your action.

[ACMESkydiver 0]

"No, nooo. I love you. I really mean it. I love all you guys!! I just LOVE you guys! No, I mean it guys, I just loooooove you!"

"Oh hell, don't tell my boyfriend/girlfriend I did that..."

"You don't like me! Nobody likes me...everybody hates me...I'm goin' to the garden to eat worms..."

"Ok, just one more...but then I GOTTA get outta here, for reals."

~Jaye
Do not believe that possibly you can escape the reward of your action.

[Kid_Icarus 0]

"The only time I drink alone is when nobody is around."

Drink till she'd pretty

Drink till I'm pretty

________________________________________
"What What.....

[ozthebum 0]

Another one from Dean-o:
"If you drink don't drive. Don't even putt."

"My Grandmother is over 80 and still doesn't need glasses. Drinks right out of the bottle."--Henny Youngman (1906-1998)

"I don't drink water, fish f*ck in it"--Not sure who said it, to lazy to look it up.

[Tink1717 2]

I'm not as thinkas you stoned I am.

Skydivers don't knock on Death's door. They ring the bell and runaway... It really pisses him off.
-The World Famous Tink. (I never heard of you either!!)
AA #2069 ASA#33 POPS#8808 Swooo 1717

[turtlespeed 226]

BEEEEEEER!!!

I'm not usually into the whole 3-way thing, but you got me a little excited with that. - Skymama
BTR #1 / OTB^5 Official #2 / Hellfish #408 / VSCR #108/Tortuga/Orfun

[lowtimer 0]

"Work is the curse of the drinking classes"

----------------------------------
Successfully avoiding adult responsibility since 1978!