Darius11 12 #1 August 20, 2004 http://www.michelleheinze.com/billboards.htm Ivan here Ivan. I'd rather be hated for who I am, than loved for who I am not." - Kurt Cobain Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
TheAnvil 0 #2 August 20, 2004 Good stuff. I'd seen some of those before. Vinny the Anvil Post Traumatic Didn't Make The Lakers Syndrome is REAL JACKASS POWER!!!!!! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
ifall 0 #3 August 20, 2004 Dear Abby, I have been so blessed in my life. Great parents, great wife and kids, great job, and great education. When I finally retired, I could hardly wait to spend time enjoying my favorite pastime -- bass fishing. I got my own little fishing boat and tried to get my wife to join me, but she just never liked fishing. Finally, one day at the Bait &Tackle Shop, I got to talking to Sam the shop owner who it turned out loves bass fishing as much as I do. We quickly became fishing buddies. As I said the wife doesn't care about fishing; she not only refuses to join us she always complains that I spend too much time fishing. A few weeks ago Sam and I had the best fishing trip ever. Not only did I catch the most beautiful bass you've ever seen, only a few minutes later Sam must have caught his twin brother! So I took a picture of Sam holding up the two nice bass that we caught and showed the picture to the wife hoping that maybe she'd get interested. Instead she says she doesn't want me to go fishing at all anymore! And she wants me to sell the boat! I think she just doesn't like to see me enjoying myself. What would you do? Tell the wife to forget it and continue my hobby or quit fishing and sell the boat as she insists? Thanks, A fisherman PS I have enclosed the picture of Sam showing off the bass we caught. NSFW - Sorry 'bout that Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Rebecca 0 #4 August 20, 2004 Bahaha! Good one dude. Um, it's not exactly SFW (tiny picture, great big bass) Might want to post a NSFW.... you've got to ask yourself one question: 'Do I feel loquacious?' -- well do you, punk? Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
turtlespeed 220 #5 August 20, 2004 Do you work in a NUNNERY?I'm not usually into the whole 3-way thing, but you got me a little excited with that. - Skymama BTR #1 / OTB^5 Official #2 / Hellfish #408 / VSCR #108/Tortuga/Orfun Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
kingbunky 3 #6 August 20, 2004 was looking around to see what my rig was worth and came across this in dz.com's own classifieds"Hang on a sec, the young'uns are throwin' beer cans at a golf cart." MB4252 TDS699 killing threads since 2001 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Rebecca 0 #7 August 20, 2004 Dust off an old copy of Hamlet lately?? No, just lookin' out for those poor folks working in full view of their bosses and cow-irkers... Actually, I work in a WINDOW OFFICE as of Monday!!! WOOhooo!!!! I have a beautiful view of a beige building and corrugated tin parking cover. And some grass and trees and sky on the far left. OK, so it's not exactly scenic, but it's still a window, and that makes me happy. you've got to ask yourself one question: 'Do I feel loquacious?' -- well do you, punk? Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
ifall 0 #8 August 20, 2004 Had to resize it to fit. Too busy today to mess with it other than a quick resize. Sorry guys. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
ACMESkydiver 0 #9 August 20, 2004 It was posted a couple years ago, but this is funny: 9 Things people do that will put a chip on your shoulder...... WOW! 1. People who point at their wrist while asking for the time.... I know where my watch is pal, where the hell is yours? Do I point at my crotch when I ask where the toilet is? 2. People who are willing to get off their ass to search the entire room for the tv remote because they refuse to walk to the tv and change the channel manually. 3. When people say "Oh you just want to have your cake and eat it too". Damn right! What good is cake if you can't eat it? 4. When people say "it's always the last place you look". Of course it is. Why the hell would you keep looking after you've found it? Do people do this? Who and where are they? Gonna Kick their asses! 5. When people say while watching a film "did you see that?". No Loser, I paid $12 to come to the cinema and stare at the damn floor. 6. People who ask "Can I ask you a question?".... Didn't really give me a choice there, did ya sunshine? 7. When something is 'new and improved!'. Which is it? If it's new, then there has never been anything before it. If it's an improvement, then there must have been something before it, couldn't be new. 8. When people say "life is short". What the hell?? Life is the longest damn thing anyone ever does!! What can you do that's longer? 9. When you are waiting for the bus and someone asks "Has the bus come yet?". If the bus came would I be standing here, dumbass? Tee-hee...~Jaye Do not believe that possibly you can escape the reward of your action. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
turtlespeed 220 #10 August 20, 2004 Quote6. People who ask "Can I ask you a question?".... Didn't really give me a choice there, did ya sunshine? She never does -I'm not usually into the whole 3-way thing, but you got me a little excited with that. - Skymama BTR #1 / OTB^5 Official #2 / Hellfish #408 / VSCR #108/Tortuga/Orfun Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
wlie 0 #11 August 20, 2004 QuoteQuote6. People who ask "Can I ask you a question?".... Didn't really give me a choice there, did ya sunshine? She never does - As if you need oneMy other ride is the relative wind. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
turtlespeed 220 #12 August 20, 2004 QuoteQuoteQuote6. People who ask "Can I ask you a question?".... Didn't really give me a choice there, did ya sunshine? She never does - As if you need one We're all about freedom of expression here .I'm not usually into the whole 3-way thing, but you got me a little excited with that. - Skymama BTR #1 / OTB^5 Official #2 / Hellfish #408 / VSCR #108/Tortuga/Orfun Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
happythoughts 0 #13 August 20, 2004 A middle-aged woman sought help from her doctor. "All my husband does is complain that I never want to have sex with him," she said. "And he's right, too. I have no desire at all." The doctor gave her a prescription and told her to return for a visit in two weeks. After the two weeks were up, she bounced into his office, grinning ear-to-ear. "Those pills were great Doc, I'm doing it six times a day now." "That's wonderful," said the doctor. "What does you husband say now?" "How should I know?" she replied. "I haven't been home yet." Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Slowfaller 0 #14 August 20, 2004 Get your War on Some funny political comics Lets not turn this into a political discussion, if you don't like the comics you can click the x in the top right corner of your window. Chris --"Someday you will die and somehow somethings going to steal your carbon" -MM Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
turtlespeed 220 #15 August 20, 2004 QuoteGet your War on Some funny political comics Lets not turn this into a political discussion, if you don't like the comics you can click the x in the top right corner of your window. Chris Where oe how did you ever get that idea?I'm not usually into the whole 3-way thing, but you got me a little excited with that. - Skymama BTR #1 / OTB^5 Official #2 / Hellfish #408 / VSCR #108/Tortuga/Orfun Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Slowfaller 0 #16 August 20, 2004 its called a preemptive zip it! Chris --"Someday you will die and somehow somethings going to steal your carbon" -MM Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
SkiD_PL8 0 #17 August 20, 2004 I, the penis, hereby request a raise in salary for the following reasons: I do physical labor I work at great depths I plunge head first into everything I do I do not get weekends off or public holidays I work in a damp environment I don't get paid overtime I work in a dark workplace that has poor ventilation I work in high temperatures My work exposes me to contagious diseases Dear Penis, After assessing your request, and considering the arguments you have raised, the administration rejects your request for the following reasons: You do not work 8 hours straight You fall asleep on the job after brief work period You do not always follow the orders of the management team You do not stay in your allocated position, and often visit other areas You do not take initiative - you need to be pressured and stimulated in order to start working You leave the workplace rather messy at the end of your shift You don't always observe necessary safety regulations, such as wearing the correct protective clothing You'll retire well before reaching 65 You're unable to work double shifts You sometimes leave your allocated position before you have completed the day's work. And if that were not all, you have been seen constantly entering and leaving the workplace carrying 2 suspicious looking bags. Sincerely, The Management Greenie in training. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
