FUNNY SEX STORIES.....let's hear yours...

[ryoder 1,590]

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This is about as funny as it gets for me:

I bought this waay cute, black, lacey outfit at Victoria's Secret and couldn't wait to see what he thought. So, the kuhl Oakenfold music is on.. I'm in the mood, he's in the mood..I say "ready?" he says "yeah!"...as I make my "sexy" exit from the bathroom, the heel of my pump gets caught on the carpet and I go flying acrossed the room and the cute lil outfit rips... I didn't know if I wanted to cry or laugh! The mood changed a lil after that bc he was concerned that I might be hurt. Lesson learned: next time, no pumps!

Did you get it on video?

"There are only three things of value: younger women, faster airplanes, and bigger crocodiles" - Arthur Jones.

[leroydb 0]

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So, if women buy toys...why do we need men?

because i only have 1 penis

Leroy


..I knew I was an unwanted baby when I saw my bath toys were a toaster and a radio...

[freeflir29 0]

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because i only have 1 penis

Hmmm....and I also have one......well....there's 2 out of three so far. Just one left to fill......

[Snowwhite 0]

my hubby and I were having a pretty good time one night, and I got that "someone is watching you" feeling, so I opened my eyes.
My son (about 5 at the time) had been standing there watching. Hubby was WAY under the covers, and didn't know about the son. Suddenly the kid says "hey Mommy, is Daddy hurting you?" I told him I was fine.
I said, " we are just playing the tickling game"

skydiveTaylorville.org
freefallbeth@yahoo.com

[freeflir29 0]

Oh yeah.......I can tell you a great story about how I bought my ticket staright to hell. The weekend I got out of basic training and made it to Sheppard, AFB....... I had sex with this chick on the air conditioner behind a church. See....there was a fence around the A/C unit that provided some privacy. After 6 weeks of basic I didn't need much! Privacy that is........

[piisfish 140]

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I think something was in the booze @ the dz one Saturday night.
My s/o & went to the Otter, to have a little fun, you could tell it was already occupied, we went back to the fire & a while later saw some friends of our emerge from the darkness, so we head back & found the otter empty. jumped up in, havin a fine time , my back's to the door, he's facing it & up goes the door - another couple lookin to get some plane action - they just had to wait .

sometimes a sign-up sheet or manifesting for evening "jumps" would be a great idea .

you guys just need a load organizer for the big ways

scissors beat paper, paper beat rock, rock beat wingsuit - KarlM

[mr2mk1g 10]

I once caught two regular DZ.com posters getting/giving head in the Perris car park. Not tellin who mind.

They knew they'd been spotted by me as I walked back to the IHOP, but I doubt the figured I realised what was going on in the twilight.

[PD126r 0]

Hint for women: Guys don't care, just get naked

[freeflir29 0]

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I once caught two regular DZ.com posters getting/giving head in the Perris car park. Not tellin who mind.

I had that EXACT same experience at a boogie earlier in the year. However, this was in the trailer I was staying in. Went in to get my jacket and.......... I yelled "Carry On" as I left......to the sounds of incessant giggling.

[jumpwally 0]

C'mon bigshot,,if ya can't type some stories without names without being worried,,,it never happened....

smile, be nice, enjoy life
FB # - 1083

[jumpwally 0]

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Interesting that the women's funny stories involve props (outfits or candles)

Mine involves a prop....something about how weak shelves and a glass full of water don't work well with my forehead.....

Now that needs a bit more clarification,,c'mon

smile, be nice, enjoy life
FB # - 1083

[ACMESkydiver 0]

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my hubby and I were having a pretty good time one night, and I got that "someone is watching you" feeling, so I opened my eyes.
My son (about 5 at the time) had been standing there watching. Hubby was WAY under the covers, and didn't know about the son. Suddenly the kid says "hey Mommy, is Daddy hurting you?" I told him I was fine.
I said, " we are just playing the tickling game"

LOL!!


Oh geez...after swearing off participation in this thread, well...

So we're having a good time, when I 'bump into' something on my right. One of our 5 year-olds had crawled into bed with us (he was sleep-walking, as he does every night ) and fell asleep next to us and neither of us noticed until I nudged him with my arm...he was still sound asleep.

~Jaye
Do not believe that possibly you can escape the reward of your action.

[peregrinerose 0]

We had a freshly cleaned vibrator sitting on the bathroom sink. The 12 year old neighbor showed up at the house, she was chatting with us, asked to use the bathroom. Of course I told her to go, not realizing what was there. She's and extremely nosy kid and I could hear her playing with it. I tried to convince her it was a dog toy.

Jen

Do or do not, there is no try -Yoda