I have a nonskydiver SO...

[megan123 0]

...does this ever work? I'm having my doubts.

[AggieDave 6]

It'll work if both people want to make it work. If it doesn't, was it skydiving's fault? Nope, there's always going to be *something* to do, a hobby/lifestyle, so it'll work if it was meant to work and both people want it to work.

Atleast that has been my experience.

--"When I die, may I be surrounded by scattered chrome and burning gasoline."

[yardhippie 0]

ummmmmmmm.... No comment.

no really, I go everywhere to jump, but rarely w/ my SO.
Works fine for me!

this has been asked time and time again. it really depends on your situation.
Friends change, priorities change, everything changes. If they can change w/ you then maybe. If not... well... not good.

Goddam dirty hippies piss me off! ~GFD
"What do I get for closing your rig?" ~ me
"Anything you want." ~ female skydiver
Mohoso Rodriguez #865

[mailin 0]

Don't fall into that trap. Make it work if you really want it to work.

There's a skydiving mentality that it can't work. I'm married and my husband doesn't skydive, but I've had 3 different skydivers tell me I'm going to get a divorce because he won't 'understand my new hobby or the new me'.

Thats a crap excuse IMO. If you want something to work, you make it work.

Jen

Arianna Frances

[megan123 0]

When I try to justify the amount of time I spend at the dz, he thinks we skydivers are trying to be "above" those who don't do it. I try to explain that it's just different than anything else, not necessarily better.
Ok, so it is better.....

[nanook 1]

Yes!!! but you have to set some rules at the very beginning. that is unless you guys were together before you started skydiving.

_____________________________

"The trouble with quotes on the internet is that you can never know if they are genuine" - Abraham Lincoln

[Darius11 12]

I think it’s just like any thing else.
If you have the same hobbies it is easier to understand one another, but if you respect each others hobbies that will work too. There is things in Skydiving that make it hard on any relationship. Mostly it’s not the skydiving part but the partying IMHO. If he is at home and your getting drunk every weekend and spending the night at the DZ it would be hard on any one.
Good luck It will work if you want too make it work.

I'd rather be hated for who I am, than loved for who I am not." - Kurt Cobain

[bkdice 0]

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When I try to justify the amount of time I spend at the dz, he thinks we skydivers are trying to be "above" those who don't do it. I try to explain that it's just different than anything else, not necessarily better.

Sure skydiver / non skydiver relationships CAN work - but not with his attitude.

I used to date a non skydiver that I was with for years before I started jumping. When I started jumping, he resented it SO much. He resented everything about it - the people, the time, the money, the happiness it brought me. He had such a bad attitude about it, and it made me realize, he had a bad attitude about a lot of things. Hmmm.... good bye!

I'm MUCH happier dating a skydiver, but that is because of the person he is. It does make it nice to share the sport we love though.

So - if your guy is loving and supportive, you will work it out. If he's being an ass - you'll be rid of him before you know it - with good reason too!

Good luck! You will figure out the right thing to do.

[cocheese 0]

I once stated some rules , er ah just one
1) "You can't have ANY of my weekends .... unless it's a totally unjumpable weekend due to weather."
Well that was the end of that. (us ) not skydiving.

[happythoughts 0]

I know a woman who was dating an avid golfer.

She didn't understand that he wanted to play golf on every Sunday when the weather was good.
He talked incessantly to his golf buddies about golf.
He took golf lessons.
He bought expensive golf gear.
He travelled to play at other courses.

It can be any relationship and any sport or activity.

[megan123 0]

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I know a woman who was dating an avid golfer.

She didn't understand that he wanted to play golf on every Sunday when the weather was good.
He talked incessantly to his golf buddies about golf.
He took golf lessons.
He bought expensive golf gear.
He travelled to play at other courses.

It can be any relationship and any sport or activity.

Good point, but you have to admit that most skydivers take it to a different level. Am I right?

[Icon134 0]

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I know a woman who was dating an avid golfer.

She didn't understand that he wanted to play golf on every Sunday when the weather was good.
He talked incessantly to his golf buddies about golf.
He took golf lessons.
He bought expensive golf gear.
He travelled to play at other courses.

It can be any relationship and any sport or activity.

Good point, but you have to admit that most skydivers take it to a different level. Am I right?

I met a girl over the weekend who's SO was a golfer and she was a skydiver... it seemed to work out pretty well for them... he'd go golfing she'd go skydiving...

Livin' on the Edge... sleeping with my rigger's wife...

[kingbunky 3]

not necessarily, it all depends on a person's passion/commitment to their sport. people think it's horrendously expensive to skydive when you tell them what new gear and lift tickets cost, but then they'll turn around and spend more than the cost of a rig on a new snowmobile or four wheeler. then they have to buy a trailer. then they need a vehicle to tow the trailer. then they spend $100 on gas every weekend they go out. they're gone all weekend. same with an avid golfer, skier, hell, could even be a pool player.

as far as the relationship part goes, it depends on the couple. my wife doesn't skydive regularly (she's taken the first jump course three times, done one tandem and will be doing another this weekend), and doesn't understand why i want to hang at the dz all day. so, i go jump but don't hang around, if she's working on a weekend i'll spend the day. now that i have my own rig, i plan on taking it with me when we travel and i'll get a day at a dz (look out skydive chicago in october!). it's all about respect, understanding and compromise.

"Hang on a sec, the young'uns are throwin' beer cans at a golf cart."
MB4252 TDS699
killing threads since 2001

[mailin 0]

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it's all about respect, understanding and compromise.

Truer words were never spoken

Jen

Arianna Frances

[happythoughts 0]

Participation in any sport is whatever you choose to do.

Skydiving - AFF $1000, gear $4000.

I have spent $7K being on a 4-way team for one year. I have spent $2K going to a boogie.

Skydivers tend to build their life around skydiving and use it to define themselves. I think that skydivers should just be people with real lives who skydive. Yes, it is amazing how involved people get. To a degree, that is me, but I try to balance it.

[cocheese 0]

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it's all about respect, understanding and compromise.

Truer words were never spoken
Jen

Yea the So should respect our addiction, understand it and compromise their expenses so we can jump more.
Major kidding. Yes i should have followed those words. Nah. heck with her. I'll find a skybabe someday.

[Thanatos340 1]

I think it would really depend on the S.O.

If they are the Clingy Co-Dependant type, Then you will have allot of problems. If they are Secure and Independent then it may still work.

I have been with my SO for 7 Years. She is definitely as WUFFO as they come but we are very independent people and it works well for us.
Before I started Skydiving, I was into Drag Racing for the first few years we dated. Every single Weekend I spent at the Track or working on my Car. She rarely came out to watch.
After that I started playing semi-pro Poker and spent almost every weekend traveling to a Tournament somewhere, she rarely came with me.
Now for the past year and a half I have spent most weekends at a Dropzone. She rarely comes out with me.

It works for us. She knows I will not be cheating on her because as she puts it "No-one else would possibly put up with me!!". I think she’s right.

As for the Cost/Commitment comparison with other Sports/Activities.. Skydiving is a hell of a lot cheaper than my previous hobbies and only takes up the weekends. Drag Racing ($15K to build the car, $500 average cost per weekend to race when you add up Fuel, Hotel, Entry Fees, meals and parts) and work on the car all week to get ready for the weekend. Then Poker.. Well lets just say that it cost me alot more than that to find out that I was not quite as good as I though I was after playing at least 40 to 60 Hours a week for two years.

No matter what Hobby/Sport you have, you can find a way to spend all your money and time. Skydiving is no worse than many others. Your SO will either support your dreams and share in your success and failures or they are not the right one for you.

[skydiver30960 0]

I told her "I was skydiving before you got here... and I'll be skydiving long after you're gone, so get used to it!"
...
...
NOT!

She'd kick my ass if I ever tried pulling that one. But for the most part I'm super lucky because my SO never fusses about the time I spend at the DZ.

About my near-future plans to start BASE jumping, she fusses. But not about skydiving. She's been on a couple tandems, and says she "understands the addiction" but isn't hooked herself.

All this, and she's cute, too! Am I lucky or what?

Elvisio "more smileys than I've ever used in one message" Rodriguez

[gjhdiver 0]

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...does this ever work? I'm having my doubts.

Depends entirely on how seriously you want to get involved in the sport. If you want to do a few jumps now and again, it's not really a prblem.

If you want to be there every day at the weekend, join a team, use vacation to go to boogies, then it's going to be a problem. Maybe not early on when everything is nice and fresh, but it will become a serious problem later.

Basically, if your SO doesn't want to skydive and you do, you'll have to work out a balance that may fall far short of your goals if you want the relationship to survive. Even then, those compromises may turn to resentments on both sides after a while.

Sorry to sound overly negative, but I've seen relationship after relationship go aground on this one. It can be done, but it's not that easy.

[hookitt 1]

The thing about skydiving is that it's like no other sport. You get to fly. Most likely you dreamt of flying all your life. Now, you're doing it. It's quite overwhelming. It's not uncommon that it takes over as the most important thing ever, because it's more fun than anything you've done up until now.

Not to say that you haven't had fun, but skydiving, especially when you first begin, is more fun than any thing. It can consume your thoughts, make you wonder how to make your living by just skydiving ... etc.

Often it's at the expense of all your current friends, family and significant other.

skydiving really isn't every thing even though it often seems like it is.

If he's the one you want to be with till you get old, do your best to balance that out. Other wise, the people who say it will never work out, are right.

Good luck!

My grammar sometimes resembles that of magnetic refrigerator poetry... Ghetto

[skymut 0]

My wife is a whuffo. The frst couple of years were a bit of a struggle, but since we worked it out, things are fine and skydiving is a non-issue. It can work if both parties want it to and that just boils down to committment level.

BTW, there is still hope that one day my wife will go up on a tandem...she toys with the idea from time to time.

Matt
A well-informed person is somebody who has the same views and opinions as yours.

[megan123 0]

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The thing about skydiving is that it's like no other sport. You get to fly. Most likely you dreamt of flying all your life. Now, you're doing it. It's quite overwhelming. It's not uncommon that it takes over as the most important thing ever, because it's more fun than anything you've done up until now.

Well said! That is so true.

I just think how much easier it would be if he were a skydiver. Selfish? Yes, probably.

[peregrinerose 0]

Heck yeah, it works. My husband was a skydiver when I met him. We've been together for almost 2 years (1.5 of them married). The entire time I knew that no matter what he always put me first, I'm the priority in his life. At the same time, I always supported his skydiving, even bought him his first rig for his birthday last year. Took me almost a year to save up for that sucker, but the look on his face was so worth it. He always went to the DZ when I worked (I work a lot of Saturdays), was almost always home by the time I was off work or close to it, and he kept Sundays for time with me. So we were both happy.

I agree with some of the other posters that some people get so wrapped up in skydiving that they lose sight of all other aspects of life instead of balancing a lot of other things as well. Chad just doesn't define himself by skydiving but a lot of other things as well.

Though I must admit, somehow he rubbed off on me. I did my first AFF Sunday and got hooked big time. How did that happen???
Jen

Do or do not, there is no try -Yoda

[livendive 8]

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he thinks we skydivers are trying to be "above" those who don't do it.

That's kind of the point isn't it? It'd be damn tough to skydive below all those people who don't!

I've been with my girlfriend for a little over 4 years. In that time I've taken her on 6 tandems. I also taught her an AFF FJC, but she backed out before ever gearing up and that's fine. I don't need her to be a jumper, I just need her to accept that I'm one. It gets difficult sometimes, but you work through it. Once in awhile you need to spend some weekend/vacation time with the SO instead of skydiving. The specific relationship and your significant other's sense of security will determine how much of that time is necessary. If it gets to be too much, you'll probably have to pick between them and skydiving.

Blues,
Dave

"I AM A PROFESSIONAL EXTREME ATHLETE!"
(drink Mountain Dew)

[Squeak 17]

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...does this ever work? I'm having my doubts.

My wife don't jump, she does work shift work though and only get 1 in 6 weekeneds off, I ussually dont jump those weekends..


As an aside has anyone noticed that it seems to be that non-skydiving female SOs handle this situation beter than non-skydiving male SOs?

I have found (with no real research) that guys get pissy much easier than girls when it comes to this sort of thing.
I put it down to a few things but the 2 top ones I THINK are

1) The guy get jealous of all the other guys at the DZ since they genrally out number the females.

2) When a female starts showing independance and non-reliance on a guy for her happiness the guys don't take it too well, they get all insecure and shit.

Obviously this does not aply to everyone, it's just some random observations I've had

You are not now, nor will you ever be, good enough to not die in this sport (Sparky)
My Life ROCKS!
How's yours doing?