BASE813 0 #26 July 14, 2004 ......................... it does for me............ but i got through a few until i found this one! ......... now getting injured! theres something to put a strain on things!!! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
MarkM 0 #27 July 14, 2004 Quote...does this ever work? I'm having my doubts. (looks at megan's picture) Nope. Dump the guy, move to S Florida so you can jump year round and date every skydiver down there until you find one you like I guess it depends on how addicted you are and how flexible your partner is. I could handle my SO spending a lot of her free time away from me, so long as we had our together time. But I also know a lot of guys that couldn't handle that sort of situation. They'd get jelous. I couldn't see dragging any non-skydiving GF I had to the DZ all the time or to something like the WFFC(wouldn't that be boring for a whuffo?). If they had problems with me spending my time at those places away from them, then I honestly don't see how it would work out. If I gave up time doing that stuff to make my partner feel better, I'd probably resent it. I suppose I'm a selfish person for wanting to spend so much time at the DZ, but that's just where I am in life at this point. Decide where you're at in your life right now and whether or not your SO can handle it. Be honest with yourself and him, because that's the foundation for any successful relationship. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Tailgate 0 #28 July 14, 2004 My wife ( wife-o) and I have been married for 22 years in Sep and I started Skydiving last year. She doesn't understand why I do it but she doesn't discourage me either. With my addictave personality (and her being the accountant) she actually helps keep me from really going overboard and ending up in the poor house. Some weekends it is a compromise between family and jumping. Sometimes jumping wins, sometimes family responsibility wins. If it ever came to Jumping or Kathi, Kathi would win. I also know that she will never ask me to make that decision. She actually has started going to the DZ with me and hanging out while I jump. On a lighter note: Clicky _________________________________________________ Let me live in my house by the side of the road and be a friend to man- Sam Walter Foss Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
dgskydive 0 #29 July 14, 2004 If you are asking the question you already know the answer.Dom Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Nightingale 0 #30 July 14, 2004 sure, it can work... BUT... you have to be very careful to make time to be with him. make sure your sport isn't higher on your priority list than your relationship. If it is, re-evaluate the relationship, because its flawed to begin with. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
cocheese 0 #31 July 14, 2004 Good point Kris. That's what my problem was . Skydiving was more important than the relationship. Guess we were not an =equal= love for each other. If we were, i could have taken a few weekends off from skydiving.... Maybe.Ha Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
rehmwa 2 #32 July 14, 2004 Quote...does this ever work? I'm having my doubts. Megan - This is corny, but sit down with each other and make a list - written, formal not a 'discussion' - on what your expectations are for marriage - amount of sex, time together, kids, religion, travel, careers, standard of living, job sharing, fitness, everything important to each of you and each person's opinion on each entry of the combined list. Then see if there is a compromise position that you both are willing to live with in order to be with each other the rest of your lives. I bet there is, and if there isn't then it's good to know now (but I bet there is). Objective thought on an emotional issue - what a concept. That'll give you a better idea of overall compatability rather than just the 'just now'. He's a nice guy - but the 'family/insider' atmosphere out here is pretty overwhelming and you are becoming very popular (because you're cool). He either deals with it (and we help by making him part of the "family" rather than "Megan's SO") or he doesn't. You are also cute and smart, so if you two don't make it, then it just means more work for your big brothers, like me and a couple others you know, making sure the single male wolves don't overwhelm you. I mean, really, in this whole thought process, have you thought about the work it will mean for us to protect you from future undesirables? Serious, I think you really ought to have the long discussion about complete compatability, the skydiving thing is a minor bit but is still part of it. ... Driving is a one dimensional activity - a monkey can do it - being proud of your driving abilities is like being proud of being able to put on pants Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
skymut 0 #33 July 14, 2004 Well said Jen. That's the point, your SO/spouse has to know that they are the highest priority. If there is anything that can get in the way of your committment to your partner, then you are most likely not ready for that level, yet. To make it work, it is give and take on both sides. When I first got married, for about the first year, it was a struggle. My wife hated it, but then we came to a compromise. Since then, both my wife and I have matured and it is a non-issue. As a matter of fact, since I have grounded, my wife tells me often that she would like to see me get back to jumping soon because she realizes what a wonder ful thing it has been for me. That is a complete 180 from when we first got married. Matt A well-informed person is somebody who has the same views and opinions as yours. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
chopchop 0 #34 July 14, 2004 Quote...does this ever work? I'm having my doubts. Yes! Buy him a digital camera and set him loose in the landing area.. Not only will he be busy and happy.. but the dropzone will embrace him and make him part of the "family".. chopchop gotta go... Plaything needs a spanking.. Lotsa Pictures Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
megan123 0 #35 July 14, 2004 QuoteSerious, I think you really ought to have the long discussion about complete compatability, the skydiving thing is a minor bit but is still part of it. Oh wise Bill.... That is actually very good advice. I met him AFTER I started skydiving, so I assumed he'd always be ok with me doing it to my heart's content. Now I just don't know if it's more him or me. He's generally very supportive of my skydiving. But it bothers me that he doesn't understand why I love it so much...then there's also the guilt I feel for leaving him by himself on a sunny Saturday afternoon. Phew...I feel like I just got out of a therapy session. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
RoysPlayThing 0 #36 July 14, 2004 QuoteQuote...does this ever work? I'm having my doubts. Yes! Buy him a digital camera and set him loose in the landing area.. Not only will he be busy and happy.. but the dropzone will embrace him and make him part of the "family".. I know you ain't talking about me chopchop? ... I take pictures by choice and its not just of skydiving.. though I love skydiving so much.. and I love my new skydiving family... snif, snif _______________________________________________ My mind is like a parachute...it functions only when open. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
happythoughts 0 #37 July 14, 2004 Pay no attention to the older, happily-married guy. You need no attention from your skydiving-brethren. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
chopchop 0 #38 July 14, 2004 QuoteI know you ain't talking about me chopchop? ... I take pictures by choice and its not just of skydiving.. see Megan? You can even convince him that it was his choice.. chopchop gotta go... Plaything needs a spanking.. Lotsa Pictures Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
MarkM 0 #39 July 14, 2004 QuotePay no attention to the older, happily-married guy. You need no attention from your skydiving-brethren. Was that supposed to be "protection"? Hmmm, Freudian slip? Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
RoysPlayThing 0 #40 July 14, 2004 Quote...does this ever work? I'm having my doubts. It depends on the people in the relationship, If they are really in love, and the connection in each others lives. It really, really can work.. and very easily I might add. _______________________________________________ My mind is like a parachute...it functions only when open. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
RoysPlayThing 0 #41 July 14, 2004 QuoteQuoteI know you ain't talking about me chopchop? ... I take pictures by choice and its not just of skydiving.. see Megan? You can even convince him that it was his choice.. Very funny Mr. Smartypants! ... I have other choices to make around this relationship too, so buckle up the lips babe! .... _______________________________________________ My mind is like a parachute...it functions only when open. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
rehmwa 2 #42 July 14, 2004 QuotePay no attention to the older, happily-married guy. You need no attention [sic] from your skydiving-brethren. Hey, not that much 'older'. {and I'm not allowed to go into detail on the other adjective on a public site} ... Driving is a one dimensional activity - a monkey can do it - being proud of your driving abilities is like being proud of being able to put on pants Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
rehmwa 2 #43 July 14, 2004 Quoteso buckle up the lips babe! .... Hey, hey, hey - get a room. Or post a picture of this so-called "lip buckle" ... Driving is a one dimensional activity - a monkey can do it - being proud of your driving abilities is like being proud of being able to put on pants Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
FallingMarc 0 #44 July 14, 2004 I've been out of the sport for almost a year (financial reasons). In that time, I started dating a girl I've known since high school, and we just got engaged a couple weeks ago. I'm not stupid for thinking I can go back and this will all work, am I? M Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
LuvToFly 0 #45 July 14, 2004 QuoteI met him AFTER I started skydiving, so I assumed he'd always be ok with me doing it to my heart's content. Now I just don't know if it's more him or me. He's generally very supportive of my skydiving. But it bothers me that he doesn't understand why I love it so much...then there's also the guilt I feel for leaving him by himself on a sunny Saturday afternoon. When you think about it, particularly for a woman, skydiving can be like a famous actress. You get a lot of attention since the sport has so many more men to women. Not everyone is okay with that. Not everyone can be with someone "famous." If your SO knows anything about the sport, he knows about all those hungry wolves - but he also knows about the drinking that goes on after the last load - and as the inhibitions go out the window, sometimes good judgement does as well. I think what I am saying here is that when you embrace Skydiving as you say you have, it's like you leave your SO to go "on location" where you have a whole different set of friends, priorities, activities, and attention to boot. Very few people can understand that in my view - and be okay with it. Even if you try to find that balance, let's face it, you live in a different world than they do - you even have a different vocabulary when you are talking to a non whuffo on the phone, etc. It's the very confident person who does not feel like you are living a separate life from them. Being an actor, traveling sales person, hopping between continents for your job - and indeed being a skydiver with a non-skydiving SO does not have a sterling reputation for long term relationship bliss. It is possible to make it work, and there are examples, but they are not in the majority - "The helicopter approaches closer than any other to fulfillment of mankind's ancient dreams of a magic carpet" - Igor Sikorsky Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
happythoughts 0 #46 July 14, 2004 QuoteQuotePay no attention to the older, happily-married guy. You need no attention from your skydiving-brethren. Was that supposed to be "protection"? Hmmm, Freudian slip? A Freudian slip is when you mean one thing and say a mother. I meant to say "other skydiving-brethren". I am only here to help. No sky-honey should face the loneliness of a new separation without my expert assistance. Mr. Helpful. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
rehmwa 2 #47 July 14, 2004 QuoteNo sky-honey should face the loneliness of a new separation without my expert assistance. Mr. Helpful. See Megan? See how much work it will be for us to protect you? They are in the woods and they are hungry. ... Driving is a one dimensional activity - a monkey can do it - being proud of your driving abilities is like being proud of being able to put on pants Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
bobsled92 0 #48 July 14, 2004 a non jumping S.O. tends to WASTE your time and money on NON jumping things and can make a jumper feel robbed._______________________________ If I could be a Super Hero, I chose to be: "GRANT-A-CLAUS". and work 365 days a Year. http://www.hangout.no/speednews/ Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
happythoughts 0 #49 July 14, 2004 QuoteQuoteNo sky-honey should face the loneliness of a new separation without my expert assistance. Mr. Helpful. See Megan? See how much work it will be for us to protect you? They are in the woods and they are hungry. Ah, people get so cynical and untrusting. Not even 40% of those stories are true. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Jessica 0 #50 July 14, 2004 Falling Marc engaged! Congratulations to both You will jump again.Skydiving is for cool people only Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
