bkdice 0 #26 May 26, 2004 QuoteTo me, being chivalrous is also being respectful and a gentleman. I do not find this degrading or condescending at all. Me either - and I'm glad it's still around. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
weegegirl 2 #27 May 26, 2004 One thing I will say... whenever a man opens the car door for me to help me in... I always lean over and open the door for him right back. Respect and kindness is a two-way street. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
DrunkMonkey 0 #28 May 26, 2004 QuoteOne thing I will say... whenever a man opens the car door for me to help me in... I always lean over and open the door for him right back. Respect and kindness is a two-way street. AHA!!! "The Car Door Test!" You have passed. You must be a keeper for your sweetie... Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Nightingale 0 #29 May 26, 2004 I don't expect it, but I do like it. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
turtlespeed 221 #30 May 26, 2004 I have found - Chivalry is only welcomed when it is convienient for the woman. If it is not, in her mind (and her mind only), supposed to happen - they by god you will hear about it. The inverse is true as well, if not done in accordance with the unexpressed wishes of said woman - you get thought of differently and perhaps even ridiculed to her friends without knowing why. just my experiance - not true for all but more than half.I'm not usually into the whole 3-way thing, but you got me a little excited with that. - Skymama BTR #1 / OTB^5 Official #2 / Hellfish #408 / VSCR #108/Tortuga/Orfun Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
happythoughts 0 #31 May 26, 2004 QuoteQuote when your man opens the car door for you is it to be nice? Or is it because he really wants to ensure you aren't going to be driving? Gotta wonder. THAT explains why Galen always opens the car door for me! dammit! __ He rides with you? I have new respect for that mans fearlessness. I always try to get a 5-minute headstart. Just kidding, I know I'm safe... I'm on the road, not beside it. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
weegegirl 2 #32 May 26, 2004 QuoteQuoteOne thing I will say... whenever a man opens the car door for me to help me in... I always lean over and open the door for him right back. Respect and kindness is a two-way street. AHA!!! "The Car Door Test!" You have passed. You must be a keeper for your sweetie... hahaha... i didn't know there was a "test"... but I'm really glad I passed! thanks! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites jtval 0 #33 May 26, 2004 Clint, is that all from the same woman? if so she may need a shrink. LOL but if one woman yells at you than dont hold it against the rest of them. this may sound "gay" but I dont care who it is I will open the door if I am there. if I see sopme sweaty hairy dude carrying a big box and going for the door: i open it. the same guy coul dbe walking ing without the box; if I am there I see no problem opening the door. will I go out of my way to open his door? no he is capable. same for women. If I am not by the door, and they are capable of opening it them selves, by all means...have at it, "i'm Busy" LOL i'll tell you abou tthe coolest time that typas thing has happened for me but Im late for workMy photos My Videos Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites DrunkMonkey 0 #34 May 26, 2004 Quote AHA!!! "The Car Door Test!" ... hahaha... i didn't know there was a "test"... but I'm really glad I passed! thanks! Quote"A Bronx Tale" (1993) Sonny: "Alright, listen to me. You pull up right where she lives, right? Before you get outta the car, you lock both doors. Then, get outta the car, you walk over to her. You bring her over to the car. Dig out the key, put it in the lock and open the door for her. Then you let her get in. Then you close the door. Then you walk around the back of the car and look through the rear window. If she doesn't reach over and lift up that button so that you can get in: dump her." Calogero: "Just like that?" Sonny: "Listen to me, kid. If she doesn't reach over and lift up that button so that you can get in, that means she's a selfish broad and all you're seeing is the tip of the iceberg. You dump her and you dump her fast." Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
jtval 0 #33 May 26, 2004 Clint, is that all from the same woman? if so she may need a shrink. LOL but if one woman yells at you than dont hold it against the rest of them. this may sound "gay" but I dont care who it is I will open the door if I am there. if I see sopme sweaty hairy dude carrying a big box and going for the door: i open it. the same guy coul dbe walking ing without the box; if I am there I see no problem opening the door. will I go out of my way to open his door? no he is capable. same for women. If I am not by the door, and they are capable of opening it them selves, by all means...have at it, "i'm Busy" LOL i'll tell you abou tthe coolest time that typas thing has happened for me but Im late for workMy photos My Videos Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
DrunkMonkey 0 #34 May 26, 2004 Quote AHA!!! "The Car Door Test!" ... hahaha... i didn't know there was a "test"... but I'm really glad I passed! thanks! Quote"A Bronx Tale" (1993) Sonny: "Alright, listen to me. You pull up right where she lives, right? Before you get outta the car, you lock both doors. Then, get outta the car, you walk over to her. You bring her over to the car. Dig out the key, put it in the lock and open the door for her. Then you let her get in. Then you close the door. Then you walk around the back of the car and look through the rear window. If she doesn't reach over and lift up that button so that you can get in: dump her." Calogero: "Just like that?" Sonny: "Listen to me, kid. If she doesn't reach over and lift up that button so that you can get in, that means she's a selfish broad and all you're seeing is the tip of the iceberg. You dump her and you dump her fast." Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
crwmike 0 #35 May 26, 2004 The term chivalry comes from the French work meaning "horseman". It originated as part of the 'warrior code'. It's origin and evolution does not show respect for women. Quite the opposite, It is a male display of superiority and belonging to an elite group and was (is?) intended to display and confirm ones status as a warrior and yours as ...less. Opening doors for women? why? If I'm going through a door, I'll hold it open for anyone behind me. Someone struggling with a heavy load? I'll offer to help. Why is this a gender/respect issue? In response to skyyhi. I was trying to open the otter door last weekend. I turned to the person beside me and asked for help ...they helped. Again, why is this a gendr/respect issue? Michael This is no simple reform. It really is a revolution. Sex and race because they are easy and visible differences have been the primary ways of organizing human beings into superior and inferior groups and into the cheap labour in which this system still depends. We are talking about a society in which there will be no roles other than those chosen or those earned. We are really talking about humanism. -Gloria Steinem Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Gawain 0 #36 May 26, 2004 QuoteI am thinking, "vallerina! Wherefore art thou, Vallerina?!" You understand that you just asked her why she is Vallerina, don't you? So I try and I scream and I beg and I sigh Just to prove I'm alive, and it's alright 'Cause tonight there's a way I'll make light of my treacherous life Make light! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
kelel01 1 #37 May 26, 2004 QuoteIt originated as part of the 'warrior code'. It's origin and evolution does not show respect for women. It might have originated that way, but I feel very strongly that it has evolved into a sign of respect. I don't think a guy who holds the door open for me thinks he is superior to me. Kelly Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Clownburner 0 #38 May 26, 2004 QuoteQuoteI am thinking, "vallerina! Wherefore art thou, Vallerina?!" You understand that you just asked her why she is Vallerina, don't you? Heh.. Nobody remembers that 'wherefore' means 'why' anymore. Nice catch, Gawain! 7CP#1 | BTR#2 | Payaso en fuego Rodriguez "I want hot chicks in my boobies!"- McBeth Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Vertifly 0 #39 May 26, 2004 I voted "not dead" but , for me, it may be on its death bed. I've always been chivalrous. Probably just because of the way I was raised. Perhaps some of the ladies can explain to me what men receive in return for chivalry. ??? Is chivalry an act a selflessness or appreciation for something that I haven't been made aware of? I've just been the kind of person who prefers reciprocation in relationships. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Paige 0 #40 May 26, 2004 Just last night was the first time a guy opened a car door for me and he is just a friend. I also think it was in part to the BMW not having keyless entry. But hey, I can think I'm special cause he opened the car door Chivalry is dead At least no guy I've ever been involved with has done anything chivalrus for me.Tunnel Pink Mafia Delegate www.TunnelPinkMafia.com Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
crzjp20 0 #41 May 26, 2004 QuoteLast time a similar discussion on this topic came up here, I was shocked to find out that there are several people who are actually offended by Chivalrous Gestures. yeah had a girl like that once. She got pissed when i would open doors for her, at first i thought she was just joking, she didnt like me walking her to her door, she even got mad at me for sending her flowers once?!?!?!? I mean come on..... .... i was so stupid to put up with that. No more!! lol, yeah i think it is live an dwell. I am from the south and am a kind of good old boy in alot of ways. So, yaeh my mom raised me right. I like doing things for girls even if they are not my GF . I like to see them smile when you do something for them that they dont expect. And if they smile, well... im happy-------------------------------------------------- Fear is not a confession of weakness, it is an oportunity for courage. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Zenister 0 #42 May 26, 2004 QuoteQuoteI am thinking, "vallerina! Wherefore art thou, Vallerina?!" You understand that you just asked her why she is Vallerina, don't you? lol...i was wondering if anyone would get that...____________________________________ Those who fail to learn from the past are simply Doomed. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
seekfun 0 #43 May 26, 2004 You've got to see "Bronx Tale". Or is it, "A Bronx Tale"? Either way, you've got to see it...It'll explain the "The Car Door Test". the goofball, topher "...there is a there out there..." - Tom Robbins Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Zenister 0 #44 May 26, 2004 Quote he gave me a stare as if he was wishing me a fate worse than death. It was a terrifying stare. waaah dude seriously needs to get over it... just stare back.. machismo is silly... however, i'm not openning any doors unless i dont have to change my path to do it, most of the time it seems my door is closer and the additional effort is pointless, if she (he/it whatever) needs assistance getting in the car thats one thing, but a perfectly healthy adult?? when the opportunity occurs its a lovely gesture, however far to many people 'expect' it, and there are far better ways to show respect than rote behaviors that have long since lost their original meanings____________________________________ Those who fail to learn from the past are simply Doomed. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
crwmike 0 #45 May 26, 2004 QuoteI voted "not dead" but , for me, it may be on its death bed. I've always been chivalrous. Probably just because of the way I was raised. Perhaps some of the ladies can explain to me what men receive in return for chivalry. ??? Is chivalry an act a selflessness or appreciation for something that I haven't been made aware of? I've just been the kind of person who prefers reciprocation in relationships. For some men, 'chivalrous' acts are merely the way the way they were raised. They aren't bad guys. They are just reflecting the way they were raised. Problem is, the society that raised them has (and continues) to deprive women basic human rights. I think it's time to think outside the societal box. For many men, they are mild attempts to incur ...'favor' from the female of the species. The first reflects a societal conditioning that women have inferior status and are less capable. The second places women in the category of sexual prey. I believe we, as a society, are long overdue in examining our thoughts, beliefs and actions that contribute to the disparity of freedom and opportunity for both men and women. Michael "We can't solve problems by using the same kind of thinking we used when we created them." -- Albert Einstein Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
skymama 37 #46 May 27, 2004 QuotePerhaps some of the ladies can explain to me what men receive in return for chivalry. ??? To me, small chilvalrous gestures like those which have been described show me who a man is. Like the old saying goes, "it's not what you say, it's what you do." It shows that you have kindness and respect towards women, and it shows that your mama raised you well. If you listen to her, then it shows that you probably have a higher respect for women in general which is appreciated. What will you get out of it? It raises the bar of how I perceive you. If you are a dope in some other circumstance, I might remember the chilvalrous gestures and think that you're not that bad. It's kind of like you get a "get out of jail free" card. Of course, if you are a total jerk, being chilvalrous only goes so far before you're just a jerk with good manners. She is Da Man, and you better not mess with Da Man, because she will lay some keepdown on you faster than, well, really fast. ~Billvon Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
mjosparky 4 #47 May 27, 2004 I know this sounds old fashion, but hell, I am old. To me women are one of the great gifts in life. They are special and make your life a wonderful place to be. They should be treated with respect and done for when possible. The door should be opened, walk behind going up stairs, in front going down. It is not to demean or belittle, but show that they fill up the world of every man. jmo SparkyMy idea of a fair fight is clubbing baby seals Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
SublimeBreeze 0 #48 May 27, 2004 I agree with all of you and actively participate in my own share of chivalrous things. But this time im not gonna join the bandwagon and add to this circle jerk session and pose a few questions. I think chivalry is a contradiction to the modern woman. I am talking about women who want equal rights and not special rights. The situation I am thinking of is... yes its dumb.. Titanic.. When the few boats are loaded with women and children. I consider this a chivalrous act. If I am wrong please just yell at me!! The question then is a woman life worth more than a mans life and if women want equal rights then the have the equal right to die. I really haven't come to any conclusions about these issues but what do you guys think? am I stretching here... BTW I am playing the devils advocate for the sake of debate and because I am curious of what you think. Peace Edited: I edited this because I reread it and I sound like an ass. I do those things for personal reasons... because thats the way I was raised and because it makes me feel good to treat women with the highest level of respect. I guess what I was trying to at was for those who do not like when a man deos that for you, why? Jval made an excellent point that I just now thought of, He holds doors for everyone.. and shows his respect for everyone I admire that and think that is a good way to be. ok.. big enough edit Sean Sean In Thailand Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Vertifly 0 #49 May 27, 2004 QuoteIt raises the bar of how I perceive you. If you are a dope in some other circumstance, I might remember the chilvalrous gestures and think that you're not that bad. It's kind of like you get a "get out of jail free" card. How women perceive men? ??? wtf? This looks like a can that says "GIANT WORMS" on the label. And what medium are men to use for perceiving women? As society evolves Men are just going to get more confused about issues like this. Equality? Inequality? Liberalism? Dependency? etc. I shouldn't have to be PARTICULARLY polite to anyone who I wish to perceive me in a more positive way. Unless it is naturally me and consistent then it is just a bunch of BS to impress someone. Don't get me wrong... I am VERY polite to girls (at least, I think so). If chivalry were to be the standard today, I'd sure would be wondering what it is (other than the overall delicacy of women in general) that we are appreciating. Help a brotha out and exlain it. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
skymama 37 #50 May 27, 2004 QuoteHelp a brotha out and exlain it. Oh, that's way more than I have the time or inclination to get into. I'm not the right person to ask, I'm pretty simple and old school. If it feels right, do it. If it doesn't feel right, don't do it. I appreciate a man who is chilvalrous (and I do things back in kind), it may not be as important to other women. In these changing times, you'll just have to feel a woman out and see if it is something that is important to her.She is Da Man, and you better not mess with Da Man, because she will lay some keepdown on you faster than, well, really fast. ~Billvon Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
