Bachelor parties: How far is too far?

[kelel01 1]

This poll was inspired by my old roommate's bachelor party (yes, male), from which I heard many, although I'm sure not all, reprehensible stories. This bachelor party was almost two years ago, so I have no clue why I thought of it, but it still bothers me. Men and women may answer, either from a personal perspective or from that of the SO of the bachelor party participant.

How far is too far?

Kelly

[piisfish 140]

why strippers or hookers ???
AFAIK there is no tradition of this kind around where I live... There are enough non-professionnal girls around
In my case, would not really apreciate that kind of service, and would not consider the people organising that kind of event as friends.

scissors beat paper, paper beat rock, rock beat wingsuit - KarlM

[seekfun 0]

I've been to a few bachelor parties where I thought the behavior got a little carried away (between the stripper(s) and the bachelor). But, I'd have to say that the only times I've seen any fallout were:

1. My cousin spent his month's mortgage payment when he drunkenly hired extra strippers for his brother's bachelor party. My cousin's wife was measurably irate about that.

2. When the aforementioned brother and I doctored a bachelor party photo of our buddy in Photoshop and almost ended the wedding before it began. Ooops. We got yelled at sternly by our significant others for that.

And in both of these cases, there was no inappropriate contact between the entertainment and the well-behaved, angelic young men.

Bad decisions around strippers do not always involve bad decisions with strippers.

TTFN,

topher

"...there is a there out there..." - Tom Robbins

[kelel01 1]

It might be an American thing . . . or maybe it's a frat boy thing. But there were multiple guys in my apartment going down on the strippers (yes, plural) with chocolate whipped cream. And apparently the guest of honor disappeared upstairs with one of them for about 15 minutes for a "massage". Before that moment, it never would have occurred to me that that kind of stuff happened outside of hourly motels and Vegas. It just worries me.

Kelly

[weegegirl 2]

Just had this conversation this weekend.

I was dragged along to a bachelor party two years ago... myself and one other female. It was either that or sit at the hotel alone. They said... oh, we're just going to "stop in" to the strip club and then just go to the bar and drink. Since we were the only females that hung out with a large group of boys from our college days... we went.

I was honestly appauled by the whole thing. By the third strip club, Trish and I were drinking heavily and trying to laugh as much as possible, while the boys were one-by-one going off for their "private shows."

The groom, my buddy Chris, was NOT into it at all. He was pretty pissed actually that his friends had put him up to all of it. You could see it in his face. He told me that he felt like he might as well be cheating on the woman he loved.

I'm all about good times. Live it up. Party like it's your last night on the planet. But I just don't see the point of running off into a closet with some sleezy girl for 5 minutes of what?

End rant.

[nacmacfeegle 0]

"How far is too far?"

That question can only really be answered by the SO. The line in the sand will change depending on the personalities involved.

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He who receives an idea from me, receives instruction himself without lessening mine; as he who lights his taper at mine, receives light without darkening me. Thomas Jefferson

[seekfun 0]

Oh, the non-sexual bachelor party stories I could tell.

This one's kind of cute, though:

The mortgage-spending cousin (see post above) came up with the idea of putting several foam boobs in a large yard waste bucket full of water. The idea was "bobbing for boobies". It was one of the bachelor party games planned for the evening.

During this event, the mortgage-spending cousin fell into the yard waste can and was stuck upside down, in the water.

As it was his brother stuck in the can, the bachelor tackled the brother/can over to free him from his boob-inundated drowning (which isn't a bad way to go). The back yard turned to mud almost instantly, which was eventually tracked into the house - for which there was no longer a mortgage payment.

Blue skies and cute, wholesome women...

topher

"...there is a there out there..." - Tom Robbins

[skydiver30960 0]

Quote

"How far is too far?"

That question can only really be answered by the SO. The line in the sand will change depending on the personalities involved.

I agree completely, except that I would edit to say: "...can only really be answered by the SO and the bachelor." Some people would be comfortable with this sort of this and some wouldn't. If anybody reading this ever plans such a party, always have options. Always have ways that the groom, the partygoers, and the ladies involved could say "thanks but no thanks" and not feel pressured into anything.

Different strokes for different folks... but maybe that's not the best cliche for this particular topic.

[ladyskydiver 0]

Depends on the relationship people have with their SO's. Each couple has different "acceptable" standards.

For me...going to a strip club - no big deal. Any sexual contact (oral/sex/going down on, etc.) - wedding off!

Life is short! Break the rules! Forgive quickly! Kiss slowly! Love truly, Laugh uncontrollably. And never regret anything that made you smile.

[happythoughts 0]

Do you have a standard rate?

[nacmacfeegle 0]

"and the bachelor"
Yup, I'd agree with that addition.

--------------------

He who receives an idea from me, receives instruction himself without lessening mine; as he who lights his taper at mine, receives light without darkening me. Thomas Jefferson

[BASE813 0]

nah........ I have seen strippers take people on stage and carry out sex acts - I know people who have seen strippers take guys on stage and have full sex with them.......... all this in front of 100+ drunken geezers.............

now imagine the roll reversal and its your GF taken on stage and being fucked by some stripper guy............ not nice is it!

dont do things you would not want your other half to do! its an easy rule!

[SkyDivaChristie 0]

I'm getting married in December. My fiance is not into having strippers at his bachelor's at all, which is just as well, because I won't stand for that.
He has told his best man that there had better not be strippers, coz he knows that in that case, there'll be no wedding!
Such a well-trained boy!

not jumping sux

[RevJim 0]

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For me...going to a strip club - no big deal. Any sexual contact (oral/sex/going down on, etc.) - wedding off!

I agree, and go as far as saying the stripper in the home is also fine.

I'm sorry Mr. Clinton, oral is still cheating.

My wife even planned a bachelorette party a few years ago, complete with the male stripper in my home. I, of course, went to a strip club that night.

It's your life, live it!
Karma
RB#684 "Corcho", ASK#60, Muff#3520, NCB#398, NHDZ#4, C-33989, DG#1

[RevJim 0]

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My fiance is not into having strippers at his bachelor's at all

This is fine. It's personal opinion and/or choice.

Quote

Such a well-trained boy!

This is not fine.

It's your life, live it!
Karma
RB#684 "Corcho", ASK#60, Muff#3520, NCB#398, NHDZ#4, C-33989, DG#1

[catfishhunter 2]

Didn't have one, didn't want one. I thought I was going to spend the rest of my life with the woman I married and I can't keep a secret for the life of me. Sooner or later I would have talked about it and she didn't have much of a sense of humor I would have woke up some morning with my balls cut off if I had participated in any of the fore mentioned activities.

Whats to far? If your mom would be offended by it then it is to far

MAKE EVERY DAY COUNT
Life is Short and we never know how long we are going to have. We must live life to the fullest EVERY DAY. Everything we do should have a greater purpose.

[EricaH 0]

Not that I'm plannin on marrage any time soon, but I told my SO, if your penis touches any part of another woman or if another womans nude pelvic area touches any part of you - that's cheating & I don't stick around w/ a cheater.


Personally, I like strip clubs & would encourage him to have a party @ any one of the more reputable places in town. Course, there's always the threat that I'll be having a party there @ the same time

There is no can't. Only lack of knowledge or fear. Only you can fix your fear.

PMS #227 (just like the TV show)

[happythoughts 0]

Quote

Quote

Such a well-trained boy!

This is not fine.

C'mon Jim, not everyone can afford a pet.

[slug 1]

Hi Kelel01

IMO the first three choices are OK for most folks. The second three choices can kill you and the bride to be.

There is a great skydiving tee-shirt some little sperm cells are looking out the door of the airplane (spotting) and one says to the other

Remember when skydiving was dangerous and sex used to be....(sorry forgot the punchline) maybe safe or fun.

IOW put my what, where??? Sorry it's not leaving my sight.

R.I.P.

[kelel01 1]

I like the way most of you think . . . however, do you really believe that your SO would be honest with you? This guy who was having the party was really a stand-up guy (or so it seemed), but since the acts were with strippers, he really didn't think anything of it, and his GF (now wife and mother of his child) was none the wiser. Trust . . . it's a tricky business.

Kelly

[RevJim 0]

Quote

however, do you really believe that your SO would be honest with you?

If you don't, you need to re-evaluate your thoughts on marrying him.

It's your life, live it!
Karma
RB#684 "Corcho", ASK#60, Muff#3520, NCB#398, NHDZ#4, C-33989, DG#1

[BASE813 0]

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he really didn't think anything of it, and his GF (now wife and mother of his child) was none the wiser.

if he thought nothing of it - then why did he not say anything to his GF?????

stand up guy??? does not sound it!

[speedy 0]

Too far is when the groom to be dies of alcoholic poisioning

Dave

Fallschirmsport Marl

[kelel01 1]

Oh, just so no one's confused, this has nothing to do with me and my current situation. Just a general wondering.

And you're right, you have to trust someone to marry them, but sometimes people are just plain naive. I think I'm a bit of a cynic.

Maybe "thought nothing of it" wasn't the right phrase, because he knew it was wrong, but he thought the same as many other people: "it's my bachelor party . . . I can do whatever I want!"

Ugh . . . my brain hurts. Too much back and forth logic.

Kelly

[Nightingale 0]

Strip clubs: fine
Hiring strippers: fine

more than that: not fine.

I wouldn't have any objection to a visit to a strip club before OR after a wedding. Its simply no big deal. I've never been to one, but wouldn't object to going myself.

I wouldn't object to a hired stripper either. I've watched one myself, so I'd be a hypocrite if I objected. (story: I was an RA in college and was making my last walk around the dorm before I was off duty. Came across a room that was kinda loud, so I knocked. Turned out the lesbians from the gay and lesbian awareness association had hired a stripper! I checked the rule book (we were required to carry it) and found that TECHNICALLY, they weren't breaking any rules. I was then invited to sit down and enjoy the party. so, I did. The guy I was dating at the time got a kick out of hearing the story the next day! )


Basically, I'd say the place to draw the line at a bachelor party is the same place you'd draw the line any other day of the week. For me, I'd draw the line at most forms of physical contact. If I found my guy kissing another girl (other than a platonic hello kiss for a good friend or something), stripper or no, I'd consider it cheating and would be really pissed off. I judge my behavior around others with this standard: If my significant other was sitting right here and saw me doing this, would they be pissed? If the answer is "yes, they'd be pissed", reconsider the current course of action. I wouldn't do anything away from my SO that I wouldn't do in front of him.