cindee 0 #26 February 27, 2004 And BTW... Happy Birthday! Things will get better. __________________________________________________ "If happy little bluebirds fly above the rainbow, why oh why can't I?" Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
North95 0 #27 February 27, 2004 Awww, Geeee, thanks! This is my BEST birthday EVER. North Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
aprilcat 0 #28 February 27, 2004 Make the report...if you ARE fired that will look real good in court (wrongfull termination). You'll get fried if the other guy filed (already?) and you don't. No matter what, Cover Your A$$. Never fight at work!! Thats what the parking lot is for (or subways, since you're in New York).... Oh, and on that note..there's a DZ.Commer here that went to my site from his/her job. S/he works at St Lukes which is right up the street from me. My site doesn't show names, but when you log in from an .edu .org it shows which one...whoever you are, I'd like to say hello . Maybe we can go up to Tomo's and have some sushi???~~~April Camelot II, the Electric Boogaloo! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
North95 0 #29 February 27, 2004 I'm up for going to Tomo's, just don't try to make me eat sushi. Do they have anything you can't use for bait? You totally lost me about the he/she that went from your site to his/her job. Could you run that by me again? North Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
North95 0 #30 February 27, 2004 Check out post #23. I made the report, such as it is. Please, someone explain to me why a harassment complaint to the police need not contain the name of the harasser. North Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Deuce 1 #31 February 27, 2004 Quote Please, someone explain to me why a harassment complaint to the police need not contain the name of the harasser. Some cops are lazy ignorant meatheads. Physical contact is not harrasment anywhere that I know of. You're just doing a CYA anyhow, so don't sweat it. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
dropoutdave 0 #32 February 28, 2004 Just smack him. ------------------------------------------------------ May Contain Nut traces...... Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
aprilcat 0 #33 February 28, 2004 I explained in pm..but I'll explain here if I wasn't clear enough. Someone checked out my site from their job and their job is really close to me and I just wanted to know if they wanted to say hello and go out for lunch sometime. You're invited too, North.~~April Camelot II, the Electric Boogaloo! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
North95 0 #34 February 28, 2004 Thanks. I'll be there, even though i invited myself. North Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
freefallfreak 0 #35 February 28, 2004 ***I'm not a layer, but yes I would if I were in the same situation.*** Uhh, did I read this wrong? Hehehe... FFF "Upon seeing the shadow of a pigeon, one must resist the urge to look up." Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
jsaxton 0 #36 February 28, 2004 Absolutlyyou should file a complaint. Just to cover your ass if nothing else. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
North95 0 #37 February 28, 2004 Just to repeat, for those who read only the beginning, and hopefully near the end of the thread, thanks partly to your encouragement, I DID report this a few hours ago. At best it will help cover my ass. I know he won't be arrested, since the cop didn't even want his name. (I don't want that anyway, I really just don't want to lose my job thanks to a maniac.) North Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
JoeyRamone 0 #38 February 28, 2004 I would let it go. All you are going to do it make a mountian out of a mole hill. Not worth more bullshit down the road. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
slug 1 #40 February 28, 2004 Cops are "busy people" in your situation their dealing with a he said, he said, no witnesses, bruises etc. If your coworker is goofy enough to put his hands on you, your probably not the first one. Use your grapevine at work to try and find out as much as you can about the guy just be discreat about it. HR is also very busy so maybe they didn't have the time to check his references unless this is just his first job. If HR doesn't do anything to the guy, or trys to sweep it under the rug start looking for another job for "career advancement" purposes. R.I.P. R.I.P. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
North95 0 #41 February 28, 2004 I think more because it is such a minor incident are the cops so busy. According to the grapevine, and actually I was aware of it when it happened, this guy was suspended for being nasty to a patient's family member. This certainly happened more than once, but this was the wrong family member to get smart with. As for references, this guys been there maybe ten years, to my more than twenty. I don't think anyone is thinking about references anymore. I do remember several occasions when he would lose his temper when speaking with our supervisor. I remember thinking that our supervisor was really giving him a lot of slack. I already mentioned the numerous times he would fly into a rage with my coworkers. Lately I've been realizing that in reality, our employer has been ignoring the warning signs, letting this guy slide, until he snapped and went apeshit on me. I ignored the warning signs too, but its not my job to worry about him. He doesn't work for me. If HR sweeps this under the rug, I can live with that, I suppose. I really want him fired, but I don't know if they will do that without firing both of us. This is the perfect guy for me to almost have had a brawl with. He must be the smallest guy in the place. I'd say maybe 5'2", or less, about 120 pounds. He does not strike fear into my heart. As far as the witness situation, there is one, and I'm pretty pissed at her. She's claiming she saw nothing, yet she was right there. Unless she went blind and deaf for a few minutes, or lost consciousness, she HAD to see at least something. Now she doesn't really talk to that little shit, because he's so impossible, and we get along fine, so I'm really pissed that she's clamming up. I really could lose my job over this, and she really should know this. Did I mention that I was pissed at her? North Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Skyrad 0 #42 February 28, 2004 North, Sorry to hear what happened, we get enough crap from patients let alone colleages. I don't know much about American law so can't help you there but I would suggest that you put in a written complaint for harrasment and bullying in the work place about this guy to you HR department ASAP. Also if you've got a Society Rep or Union rep get them onside ASAP. I'm guessing that you have some sort of Society that covers you for insurance, ours The Society Of Radiographers also gives free legal advice. Well, other than that Happy Birthday for yesterday mate. If all goes to ratshit we could always do with more Radiographers over here in the UK! Chin up mate!When an author is too meticulous about his style, you may presume that his mind is frivolous and his content flimsy. Lucius Annaeus Seneca Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
North95 0 #43 February 28, 2004 They asked for a statement after the incident. I was still fired up when I made it. Great adrenaline rush. About as good as my last jump. But I digress. Anyway, I was still worked up, and pulled no punches in the statement. I demanded that they fire the guy for assaulting me. It really went further than harassment and bullying. North Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Tinkerbelle 5 #44 February 28, 2004 I was assaulted in a similar way at a DZ by a girl who had a crush on my SO. I had never even met her before. She was new to the DZ and I had been away. On Halloween night she was sitting on my SO's lap with her arm around his shoulder grabbing at his crotch saying saying she wanted to "Suck his cock" Not knowing what to do or how to respond without starting some kind of confrontation, which I don't like, I just stood there shocked but didn't say anything! The next day at the DZ someone commented she was a hurricane! I said I just hoped she wasn't a home wrecker! This got back to her. The following day I was out feeding the DZ cat when she rode right up to me on some guy's lap in a golf cart, jumped out, grabbed me by the scruff of the neck, rumpling and even tearing a fine Japanese silk shirt of mine, slammed me up against the wall, stuck her other finger in my face and said, "Listen,--- is the most famous skydiver I know, and I will hug him and kiss him and have my way with him whenever, where ever, and how ever I want, and if you so much as say anything or bitch about it I will kick your fuckin' ass! She went on to insult me further." Even though she was clearly in the wrong for her behavior I just tried to calm her down, introduced myself, and tried to be her friend. I ended up giving her a hug. I knew that if I fought back, which I wanted to do real bad, it would only escalate matters and nothing good would have come of it. I am afraid of her and afraid of having her as an enemy. For some reason some guys and several around the DZ, and sometimes I fear even my SO, may respect girls like that in a fear sort of way. I don't get why violent people such as that girl sometimes command respect. It is the gentle ones who control their rage and personal issues who should be more admired. At the time of the assault I was understandably shocked 'cause I hadn't even met her before, and that was just the 2nd time I had even seen her! Since then she has wormed her way into the life of my SO as his "buddy"! She is known for doing drugs, sleeping around with spoken for dudes, wrecking relationships, and most importantly, beating people up! I am the kind of person who runs from confrontation! I don't know how to handle this situation. Maybe I should have called the cops for assault, but I know that would have just made me look like the bad guy at the DZ. I don't know what to do in that sort of situation. You know you want to stand up for yourself, and yours, but sometimes doing so can just make matters worse and make you look like the bad guy, just as culpable or even more so than the initial aggressor! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Tinkerbelle 5 #45 February 28, 2004 What would you guys have done in that situation? What can I do now since she's still around a lot and is apparently now a "good buddy" of my SO and still causes problems for me in my personal life? Hey did you hear the one about the 2 peanuts walking side by side.....? One was assalted?! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
aprilcat 0 #46 February 28, 2004 In all honesty, this woman owes you nothing. She didn't know you and you stood there while your SO sat there getting felt up and obviously not caring what you thought. Did he NOT see you? HE is the one that owes you something. Respect. He should have gotten that girl off his lap no if ands or buts about it. What would I do? I would tell him I didn't like it then, I don't like it now and its going to stop or we are over. Period. If you allow this to continue, upgrade your medical coverage, cause you will be getting beat up alot. As for her grabbing you, don't you know ANY self-defense techniques?? Learn some if this man of yours dances with Wolves.~~April Camelot II, the Electric Boogaloo! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
littlestranger 0 #47 February 28, 2004 Quote What would you guys have done in that situation? What can I do now since she's still around a lot and is apparently now a "good buddy" of my SO and still causes problems for me in my personal life? First thing you do do is dump your SO, he's suppose to be on your side, remember. Second thing you do is if this creature ever touches you again is look her in the eye and tell her, let's go. Confronting someone of this caliber with their own bullshit is the only way she will respect you, because it's all she knows. Be prepared to follow up. On the other hand, you kind of remind me of my sister, I'd be trying to pick a fight with her and she'd be all calm and logic, which would piss me off even more. I think that's why this loser hates you so much, because she's not getting to you. You could really have alot of fun with this, should you choose to go the non-violent route. Personally, I'd kick her ass! LOL! Sometimes you just have to stand up to the bullies. Sorry North, looks like we highjacked your thread... Blues Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Tinkerbelle 5 #48 February 28, 2004 You are so right! I had a sneeking suspicion, being Chicago she would use Roger Nelson's memorial as an excuse to go road tripping with him, so I begged him not to go with her long before it even happened when I first heard he had passed away. I didn't hear back from the SO for over two weeks, that told me all I needed to know. After he got back I asked him if he has seen her there. He said, Yeah, we drove up together. I was furious, but then he got mad at me in return. Somehow he doesn't believe it is a big deal, that she is just his buddy. I don't like it one bit though, but don't want to be the bad guy. Yes, I know I am a push over. But when you have it bad for someone, sometimes it is hard to make ultimatums that will cut you out, in case they take you up on the offer!? I know this girl isn't a direct threat in that I know he is too old for her and she prefers the young freefly types, but I still don't like their continued cameraderie. I feel squeeaed out, but if I say anything about it, the SO gets mad at me! I am too much of a softie and am not good with aggressive confrontation and ultimatums. I came from an educated, civilized family in shich tone of voice was of paramount importance. I guess I am afraid to put my foot down for fear of losing the man I love. I don't know how to demand more consideration without sounding like a demanding, jealous bitch! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
slug 1 #49 February 28, 2004 Violence at the work place or DZ is kid stuff. Your dealing with a "slut, drug user, etc. If you poped her in the mouth, scratched her whatever, your talking about exchanging body fluids with a person in a high risk group. Pepper spray is nice . Talk with your SO, eventually this women will start draging down the vibes at the DZ and the DZO manager or his/her S.O. will tell her not to come back. I'm sure this won't be the first DZ she's been asked to leave. Unless you got witnesses or your the only one with bruises calling the cops may be a waste of time. R.I.P. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
North95 0 #50 February 28, 2004 Quote Sorry North, looks like we highjacked your thread... You hear about it, you see it on TV, people talk about it, but you never think it will happen to you... North Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
