kelel01 1 #1 February 25, 2004 So . . . which is it? A friend and I have been debating this for a little while, and he asked, "How many married people do you know who are really happy?". Well, I don't know, so let's find out . . . Thanks! Kelly Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
piisfish 140 #2 February 25, 2004 hopefully not married... scissors beat paper, paper beat rock, rock beat wingsuit - KarlM Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
koz2000 1 #3 February 25, 2004 Happy most of the time but it is work.______________________________________________ - Does this small canopy make my balls look big? - J. Hayes - Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Deuce 1 #4 February 25, 2004 I think a better way to approach it is to ask how many people do you know who are really happy, and then how many of those are married. I've been with my Mrs. for about 20 years now, 17.5 married, and it has been both extremes. It averages out to much happier than most of the people I know. Raising children together is a wonder. Pulling that off and staying married is something to be proud of. Does building a house make you happy? Does living in the house for the rest of your life? Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Beeron 0 #5 February 25, 2004 The 2 and 1/2 years before we got married were absolutely wonderful, and then the first 3 months after getting married were good too. And then I don't know what the hell happened after that. Now, we're happily separated. B~ Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
RevJim 0 #6 February 25, 2004 Quoteand it has been both extremes. It's very good to hear that I'm not the only one with that thought. It just really, really sucks when that "bad" extreme sticks around a bit longer than expected. Like now. It's your life, live it! Karma RB#684 "Corcho", ASK#60, Muff#3520, NCB#398, NHDZ#4, C-33989, DG#1 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
caress 0 #7 February 25, 2004 I could not imagine how difficult it would be to allow someone else as much access to"ME" as Terry has. We've known each other for 16 years, been married since 90'. Hell I was just a little chickadee when I met him. He knows everything about me. Yup, there has been hard times, but I have definetly been blessed with a man who really cares about me and we share so many great things together. I could not ask for more. I wish I still looked as young and shapley as I did when we met, but he keeps telling me I look just fine, I want back into my size 3 jeans! Oh Well! I'm still me, I am very happy, just a little distorted-Caress I've learned.... That being kind is more important than being right. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
quatorze 1 #8 February 25, 2004 it takes a little work, but I lucked into marrying my best friend, there are good and bad but all in all, I have no idea where/who I would be now with out her... prolly dead I'm not afriad of dying, I'm afraid of never really living- Erin Engle Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Muenkel 0 #9 February 25, 2004 Leave it to Kelly to ask such a tough question. I know some couples who struggle sometimes to keep it together and so far they have succeeded. IMO, my brother has the most incredible marriage. He's been married since 1985 and he still says that he married the most beautiful woman in the world. For me, I've gotten as far as being engaged. I was deeply in love and thought we were a perfect match. Then she cheated and I realized how wrong I was. But, better to find out before the marriage. Chris _________________________________________ Chris Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
jceman 1 #10 February 25, 2004 LTML and I have been together (more or less) since 8 October, 1965. We married on 3 August, 1968, so I think I have a pretty long range view of this subject. Are we happy? Damned straight! Could it be better? Damned straight! Could it be worse? Damned staright! In any relationship, there will be ups and downs and as the years pass there will be some incredible ups and some miserable lows. Surviving those changes in fortune is the key, and it takes both people respecting each other, giving each other room to grow and acknowledging the other as a person to do it. We have both made mistakes and have things we would do differently, but would we be who we are if we hadn't made those mistakes? Or simply made other ones? I don't have the answers to those questions -- check with me in another 39 years. For now, we're happy. Faster horses, younger women, older whiskey, more money. Why do they call it "Tourist Season" if we can't shoot them? Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
velo90 0 #11 February 25, 2004 The best part of my marraige was the day we got..... divorced. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites elfanie 0 #12 February 25, 2004 Married for 11 years. Deliriously happy. Could it be better? No. We have 3 children...and I won't speak for my husband (who also reads here), but for me...he's my best friend, my prince charming, everything I could want in a man. Have we had hard times? Ya know..not really. I mean, we've had personal difficulties, yes...but not marital difficulties. There has never ever been a time that I wondered if we should be togther, or wondered if he would leave, or thought about leaving... I couldn't imagine being happier in my life than I am with him...and I wake up every morning feeling blessed and like I won the lottery. -------------------------------------------- Elfanie My Skydiving Page Fly Safe - Soft Landings Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites kelel01 1 #13 February 25, 2004 Ok, well, it looks like y'all have proven both of our points. Hmmmm . . . I guess it's all about whether you're willing to take a chance on love or not. I am, but some people aren't, and that's understandable. But I would much rather risk getting divorced than growing old alone with no one to care for, and no one to care for me. If it doesn't work out, then it doesn't, but I'd rather know that I gave it one hell of a shot. Kelly Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites Slappie 9 #14 February 25, 2004 QuoteOk, well, it looks like y'all have proven both of our points. Hmmmm . . . I guess it's all about whether you're willing to take a chance on love or not. I am, but some people aren't, and that's understandable. But I would much rather risk getting divorced than growing old alone with no one to care for, and no one to care for me. If it doesn't work out, then it doesn't, but I'd rather know that I gave it one hell of a shot. Kelly I applaud your train of thought. For such a young woman you seem to have a little upstairs. so what'cha doin? "Find out just what any people will quietly submit to and you have found out the exact measure of injustice and wrong which will be imposed upon them." Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites Alaura 0 #15 February 25, 2004 Marriage is a two way street, a partnership...if you don't have that understanding from the start....DON'T DO IT! I'll be happy once I'm single again. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites Muenkel 0 #16 February 25, 2004 Damn I wish I lived in Marrietta Ga. Chris _________________________________________ Chris Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites dmbale 0 #17 February 25, 2004 I married my best friend. He is the first person I want to call when something good happens and the first person I want to call when something bad happens. Sometimes it is easier to forgive your best friend than your lover. We would rather spend time together than apart. He is my favorite person to jump with. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites happythoughts 0 #18 February 25, 2004 QuoteBut I would much rather risk getting divorced than growing old alone with no one to care for, and no one to care for me. People equate being alone with being lonely. Not the same thing. If you are single now, do you feel lonely? The best relationships are with people who are happy by themselves. They have the ability to comfort themselves and aren't bored when nothing is happening. That said, I'm divorced so what do I know about good marriages. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites Luv2Fall 0 #19 February 25, 2004 Yep, I'm happy...........hasn't always been a bed of roses............but that's where commitment comes into play. Marriage becomes a bit more complex as time passes due to jobs, children, finances etc. Those things can tax a marriage..........that's reality. Love isn't always a feeling...........work is involved at times. I can't think of too many things in life that are perfect. A bit of maturity doesn't hurt either as will the setting aside or elimination of self-centerness...........purpose the good of one's spouse instead of one's self. Respect for one's individuality, apart from the marriage unit, goes a long, long way. Marriage doesn't mean the elemination of one's individuality......there are two entirely different people involved.......distingish between what has to be for the good of the "unit" from "what it is that you want". Never taking each other for granted is a plus......in spite of the complexity of life and its inherent problems, take the time to let your spouse know how much you love them......how much they mean to you. Take the time to spoil them rotten....after all, they are putting up with our asses lol. Be there for them regardless of how "petty" you may perceive their problem(s) to be...........always be there. Mutual support and understanding is priceless. Compassion.......... Much of the above can be perceived as compromising.........well........sometimes you just have to..........good things aren't always easy.......good things are worth it, however. We can't always be "self-serving". Don't be a doormat, however. Sorry for going off on a tangent, but a good marriage just doesn't happen without decent input by all involved. When all of the above is mutually reciprocated, for the most part, I think happiness will be a natural byproduct of marriage.... Marriage is not for everyone..................one should really know his or herself before making that commitment............not always done but is a good start. I feel marriage is taken way too lightly by few people these days. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites happythoughts 0 #20 February 25, 2004 QuoteMarriage is a two way street, a partnership...if you don't have that understanding from the start....DON'T DO IT! That is the primary thing that single people don't get. You do have to compromise. Until people get married, I don't think they fully understand that. You don't get your way all the time. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites bsoder 0 #21 February 25, 2004 QuoteMarriage is a two way street, a partnership...if you don't have that understanding from the start....DON'T DO IT! That pretty much describes my philosophy. I take care of her, she takes care of me... and we're very happy, thanks. :) Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites kelel01 1 #22 February 25, 2004 At least you gave it a shot. But for me, I would keep trying . . . at least in my current state of mind. Kelly Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites craichead 0 #23 February 25, 2004 AndyMan and I have been married for a mere four months (dating for one year before that), and I couldn't imagine spending the rest of my life with anybody else. We've had our share of nasty fights, but overall, he makes me deliriously happy because he's everything I've ever wanted. Not sure what he has to say in regards to me, though! _Pm__ "Scared of love, love and aeroplanes...falling out, I said takes no brains." -- Andy Partridge (XTC) Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites Taylor610 0 #24 February 25, 2004 Dude...I know who you are married to and she keeps you in line. I have no idea how you got soo lucky, but you did! Oh yeah, and I am the one happist husband alive! Wouldn't want to be with anyone else on this earth. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites Brian425 0 #25 February 25, 2004 Eva's the best thing that happened to me. She makes my life batter everyday. She correctsme when I'm wrong and supports me when I'm down The only time you should look down on someone is when you are offering them your hand. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites Prev 1 2 3 Next Page 1 of 3 Join the conversation You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account. Note: Your post will require moderator approval before it will be visible. Reply to this topic... × Pasted as rich text. Paste as plain text instead Only 75 emoji are allowed. × Your link has been automatically embedded. Display as a link instead × Your previous content has been restored. 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elfanie 0 #12 February 25, 2004 Married for 11 years. Deliriously happy. Could it be better? No. We have 3 children...and I won't speak for my husband (who also reads here), but for me...he's my best friend, my prince charming, everything I could want in a man. Have we had hard times? Ya know..not really. I mean, we've had personal difficulties, yes...but not marital difficulties. There has never ever been a time that I wondered if we should be togther, or wondered if he would leave, or thought about leaving... I couldn't imagine being happier in my life than I am with him...and I wake up every morning feeling blessed and like I won the lottery. -------------------------------------------- Elfanie My Skydiving Page Fly Safe - Soft Landings Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
kelel01 1 #13 February 25, 2004 Ok, well, it looks like y'all have proven both of our points. Hmmmm . . . I guess it's all about whether you're willing to take a chance on love or not. I am, but some people aren't, and that's understandable. But I would much rather risk getting divorced than growing old alone with no one to care for, and no one to care for me. If it doesn't work out, then it doesn't, but I'd rather know that I gave it one hell of a shot. Kelly Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Slappie 9 #14 February 25, 2004 QuoteOk, well, it looks like y'all have proven both of our points. Hmmmm . . . I guess it's all about whether you're willing to take a chance on love or not. I am, but some people aren't, and that's understandable. But I would much rather risk getting divorced than growing old alone with no one to care for, and no one to care for me. If it doesn't work out, then it doesn't, but I'd rather know that I gave it one hell of a shot. Kelly I applaud your train of thought. For such a young woman you seem to have a little upstairs. so what'cha doin? "Find out just what any people will quietly submit to and you have found out the exact measure of injustice and wrong which will be imposed upon them." Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Alaura 0 #15 February 25, 2004 Marriage is a two way street, a partnership...if you don't have that understanding from the start....DON'T DO IT! I'll be happy once I'm single again. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Muenkel 0 #16 February 25, 2004 Damn I wish I lived in Marrietta Ga. Chris _________________________________________ Chris Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
dmbale 0 #17 February 25, 2004 I married my best friend. He is the first person I want to call when something good happens and the first person I want to call when something bad happens. Sometimes it is easier to forgive your best friend than your lover. We would rather spend time together than apart. He is my favorite person to jump with. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
happythoughts 0 #18 February 25, 2004 QuoteBut I would much rather risk getting divorced than growing old alone with no one to care for, and no one to care for me. People equate being alone with being lonely. Not the same thing. If you are single now, do you feel lonely? The best relationships are with people who are happy by themselves. They have the ability to comfort themselves and aren't bored when nothing is happening. That said, I'm divorced so what do I know about good marriages. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Luv2Fall 0 #19 February 25, 2004 Yep, I'm happy...........hasn't always been a bed of roses............but that's where commitment comes into play. Marriage becomes a bit more complex as time passes due to jobs, children, finances etc. Those things can tax a marriage..........that's reality. Love isn't always a feeling...........work is involved at times. I can't think of too many things in life that are perfect. A bit of maturity doesn't hurt either as will the setting aside or elimination of self-centerness...........purpose the good of one's spouse instead of one's self. Respect for one's individuality, apart from the marriage unit, goes a long, long way. Marriage doesn't mean the elemination of one's individuality......there are two entirely different people involved.......distingish between what has to be for the good of the "unit" from "what it is that you want". Never taking each other for granted is a plus......in spite of the complexity of life and its inherent problems, take the time to let your spouse know how much you love them......how much they mean to you. Take the time to spoil them rotten....after all, they are putting up with our asses lol. Be there for them regardless of how "petty" you may perceive their problem(s) to be...........always be there. Mutual support and understanding is priceless. Compassion.......... Much of the above can be perceived as compromising.........well........sometimes you just have to..........good things aren't always easy.......good things are worth it, however. We can't always be "self-serving". Don't be a doormat, however. Sorry for going off on a tangent, but a good marriage just doesn't happen without decent input by all involved. When all of the above is mutually reciprocated, for the most part, I think happiness will be a natural byproduct of marriage.... Marriage is not for everyone..................one should really know his or herself before making that commitment............not always done but is a good start. I feel marriage is taken way too lightly by few people these days. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
happythoughts 0 #20 February 25, 2004 QuoteMarriage is a two way street, a partnership...if you don't have that understanding from the start....DON'T DO IT! That is the primary thing that single people don't get. You do have to compromise. Until people get married, I don't think they fully understand that. You don't get your way all the time. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
bsoder 0 #21 February 25, 2004 QuoteMarriage is a two way street, a partnership...if you don't have that understanding from the start....DON'T DO IT! That pretty much describes my philosophy. I take care of her, she takes care of me... and we're very happy, thanks. :) Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
kelel01 1 #22 February 25, 2004 At least you gave it a shot. But for me, I would keep trying . . . at least in my current state of mind. Kelly Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
craichead 0 #23 February 25, 2004 AndyMan and I have been married for a mere four months (dating for one year before that), and I couldn't imagine spending the rest of my life with anybody else. We've had our share of nasty fights, but overall, he makes me deliriously happy because he's everything I've ever wanted. Not sure what he has to say in regards to me, though! _Pm__ "Scared of love, love and aeroplanes...falling out, I said takes no brains." -- Andy Partridge (XTC) Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Taylor610 0 #24 February 25, 2004 Dude...I know who you are married to and she keeps you in line. I have no idea how you got soo lucky, but you did! Oh yeah, and I am the one happist husband alive! Wouldn't want to be with anyone else on this earth. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Brian425 0 #25 February 25, 2004 Eva's the best thing that happened to me. She makes my life batter everyday. She correctsme when I'm wrong and supports me when I'm down The only time you should look down on someone is when you are offering them your hand. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
