nathaniel 0 #26 February 25, 2004 CNN article on marriage and happiness study at the American Psychological Association APA website about the studyMy advice is to do what your parents did; get a job, sir. The bums will always lose. Do you hear me, Lebowski? Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
misskriss 0 #27 February 25, 2004 I read somewhere recently where married women were the least happy of any group..LOL And that married men were the happiest. It was all over the news so I'm sure I could find a source if I looked. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
mfrese 0 #28 February 25, 2004 Yep. 21 years together, married for almost 15, and I love Lynn more than ever. It's WORK staying together that long, but anything that's worth having is usually going to take some work to get. I wouldn't trade her for anything...then again, she offered to trade me for two 24 year olds, so I'd probably do the same with her. Doctor I ain't gonna die, Just write me an alibi! ---- Lemmy/Slash Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
happythoughts 0 #29 February 25, 2004 QuoteI read somewhere recently where married women were the least happy of any group..LOL And that married men were the happiest. It was all over the news so I'm sure I could find a source if I looked. It makes sense in a way. When you take committment out of the equation, a womans opportunities are much better. Guys are better looking, richer, more spontaneous. A women who wants a one-nighter can find a guy much better looking than her SO. A guy will take a woman off for a nice weekend, but the regular b/f can't afford to do that all the time. Guys who aren't living with a woman will stay out all night and party. A woman has to "settle" for less when she wants that committment. With guys, all that reverses. The bigger the committment, the better the woman. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
misskriss 0 #30 February 25, 2004 QuoteA woman has to "settle" for less when she wants that committment. I can see your point. But what I think the study was saying is that women usually do the lions share of the work when it comes to housework and childraising, etc. They have said that being a stay at home mom is comparable to having something like two or three full time jobs. Something like that anyway.. ( Before I am flamed I know there are plenty of marriages where the husbands contribute enormously in everyway and it is all peachy groovy.) The thing is , in a lot of marriages the husbands come home from work and sit down or have quiet time to read the paper or whatever. Meanwhile.. the woman has been home all day cleaning, dealing with sick kids, postwhoring on dz.com and when it's 5, she cooks dinner , helps with the kids homework, cleans up the kitchen, gives the kids a bath, puts them to bed. In other words.......she never gets off of work. So, men may seem to benefit more from marriage than women do . Again.. I know that it is not like this in all marriages. This is only an example. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
happythoughts 0 #31 February 25, 2004 QuoteMeanwhile.. the woman has been home all day cleaning, dealing with sick kids, postwhoring on dz.com and when it's 5, she cooks dinner , helps with the kids homework, cleans up the kitchen, gives the kids a bath, puts them to bed Well, in all fairness, a man wouldn't have kids if he wasn't married. All that cooking and cleaning is a product of being married too. I lived in the same apartment for 3 years and never cleaned. I just moved out last week, that problem easily solved. Once the apartment is full, you leave. Cooking? Bourbon has no cooking, only mixers. Besides, aren't you seeing an excellent cook? Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
misskriss 0 #32 February 25, 2004 Quote Besides, aren't you seeing an excellent cook? That is true.......I won't have to cook anymore.. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Luv2Fall 0 #33 February 25, 2004 QuoteQuoteA woman has to "settle" for less when she wants that committment. I can see your point. But what I think the study was saying is that women usually do the lions share of the work when it comes to housework and childraising, etc. They have said that being a stay at home mom is comparable to having something like two or three full time jobs. Something like that anyway.. ( Before I am flamed I know there are plenty of marriages where the husbands contribute enormously in everyway and it is all peachy groovy.) The thing is , in a lot of marriages the husbands come home from work and sit down or have quiet time to read the paper or whatever. Meanwhile.. the woman has been home all day cleaning, dealing with sick kids, postwhoring on dz.com and when it's 5, she cooks dinner , helps with the kids homework, cleans up the kitchen, gives the kids a bath, puts them to bed. In other words.......she never gets off of work. So, men may seem to benefit more from marriage than women do . Again.. I know that it is not like this in all marriages. This is only an example. Actually it's the other way around here. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
greybeard 0 #34 February 25, 2004 Eric Frohm wrote that any two people can marry and devote themselves to each other forever. The species we belong to is designated to mate for life. Defined as such. Been with my mate for 35 years, married 28 years. Some times she really pisses me off! I love her more than myself. Ever notice that folk you couldn't care less about, never spark the emotions of love or anger! I've taught my three kids to never say, "he made me mad", or "he made me do this or that". I explained that that is admitting the "he" has some power over you. How could you let someone else have the power over your intellect and emotions. Be the captain of your ship. The paradox is in a marital relationship, where-in two souls are entwined in such a way as to interfere with the individualistic, independent, existence. Deal with it, it's worth the work. . Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Dumpster 0 #35 February 25, 2004 It's my second time around, and I'm sorry to say I'm not as happy the second time as I was the first. Not totally unhappy, but it's not exactly bliss, either. Easy Does It Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
StevePhelps 0 #36 February 25, 2004 Count me as happily married (29 years and counting) I have quite a woman! How many would have stayed married if you called up (when you both were 22) and said, "I joined US Army Special Forces. I'm on a bus to LA to take a physical. I'll call when I get back." She is one fine lady, sexy, and mother of our 4 grown (YAY!) kids! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
theskydiveguy 0 #37 February 25, 2004 It's a funny thing.. Marriage that is! I have been married just over a year (suppose that makes me a newbie) and it's been awesome, but it is work some days! And that work is a two way street! For example, when I buy a new container without previous consultation... *wrestling bell* GAME ON!! But usually we can work things out.. Besides anyone that can put up with me for as long as she has (5 years) is a keeper! ~Jeff Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Swoopyswoop 0 #38 February 25, 2004 Ive been married for a year and a half now, my wife takes all my money, half my retirement, and leaves me with nothing. She dont cook, clean and sits around the house all day watching oprah eating bon bons. When I upset her she repeatedly beats me with a rolling pin and a frying pan when I really mess up. Her dog hates me, and she has trained him to attack me when I raise my voice. I wouldnt trade it for the world. Can I get an amen on that one? "when I die, I want to go like my grandfather while im sleeping, not like the passengers riding in the car with me Swoopster A.S.S. #6 Future T.S.S holder Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Darius11 12 #39 February 25, 2004 Quote Can I get an amen on that one? Not from Me LOLI'd rather be hated for who I am, than loved for who I am not." - Kurt Cobain Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
mfrese 0 #40 February 25, 2004 Quit whinin' and count your blessings...and that dog can't do anything but chew on yer goddam ankles, anyway, so STFU! edited again to add: Besides, at least YOUR wife doesn't make you haul meat all weekend and then keep all the money for herself...Doctor I ain't gonna die, Just write me an alibi! ---- Lemmy/Slash Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Swoopyswoop 0 #41 February 25, 2004 LMAO Mike "when I die, I want to go like my grandfather while im sleeping, not like the passengers riding in the car with me Swoopster A.S.S. #6 Future T.S.S holder Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Pammi 0 #42 February 25, 2004 Too funny. Just said something to Merrick about how we have it good, that we seem to be happy 97% of the time. To me that also implies, "can't live without him/her". No one is happy with someone 100% of the time Pammi Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
SuFantasma 0 #43 February 25, 2004 Happiness is not a civil state, Happinessis a state of mind however illusionary to the individual and reality-severed to the observer. Anyone looking to be happier in a marriage is looking for a big disappoinment. Happiness lives within you, it's up to you to reach and seize it !Y yo, pa' vivir con miedo, prefiero morir sonriendo, con el recuerdo vivo". - Ruben Blades, "Adan Garcia" Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
kelel01 1 #44 February 25, 2004 Hey Jorge, I think you missed the point of the thread. Point was, many people see marriage as a prison in which there is eventual hatred and despair. Which in some cases, I suppose it is. I wanted to just be able to get some evidence to the contrary. Totally innocent. Kelly Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
sdgregory 0 #45 February 25, 2004 I voted "Could not live without her." It is not always fun and games. We have our own views on things that often collide. Sometimes life keeps us so busy we don't have time to go somewhere to be alone. But, when we walk passed each other in the tiny hall of our home and have to squeeze by, one or both of us will still reach around and squeeze a butt. Or we'll smile at each other and kiss as we pass. Or maybe just lightly brush hands. We still wrestle around like teenagers. Any given day can find one of us chasing the other around the house just for fun. We still have plenty to talk about. Sometimes we still stay up till well into morning just talking about everything and nothing like we did when we first were getting to know one another. Even though neither of us have the bodies we had when we first married, I still find myself staring at her, or I will catch her just watching me. We still enjoy the physical part of our relationship. Basically, we love each other unconditionally. And after 12 years, I still don't sleep well if I can't feel her there. She is my partner, my friend, my life. I would give everything up, including skydiving, if she needed me to. And I know she would do the same for me. Love is work, marriage is not easy, but the hard times make the good times that much sweeter. And it just keeps getting better with time. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
caress 0 #46 February 25, 2004 Now Sean, You get the big AMEN from me bud. That was so neat, I started to cry. -Caress I've learned.... That being kind is more important than being right. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Katzeye 0 #47 February 25, 2004 I think part of the point is that if you are unhappy married, it does not mean you are going to be happier divorced. In fact, statistics show that those unhappy in marriage, were also unhappy after divorce. LA* Is a chicken omelette redundant? Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Katzeye 0 #48 February 25, 2004 QuoteThe thing is , in a lot of marriages the husbands come home from work and sit down or have quiet time to read the paper or whatever. Meanwhile.. the woman has been home all day cleaning, dealing with sick kids, postwhoring on dz.com and when it's 5, she cooks dinner , helps with the kids homework, cleans up the kitchen, gives the kids a bath, puts them to bed. In other words.......she never gets off of work. OK, I have to say it. That's a crock of shit. What does this study think the man does all day? He's out slaying dragons, she's at home keeping things in order. They both do the same amount of work. The whole POINT of having is a home is to provide a safe, nurturing, quiet place to be after all is said and done. Is a chicken omelette redundant? Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
misskriss 0 #49 February 25, 2004 QuoteThey both do the same amount of work. The whole POINT of having is a home is to provide a safe, nurturing, quiet place to be after all is said and done. They both do the same amount of work if he continues to help after he gets home. Some men don't. Some men come home from work and do nothing else. If you noticed my whole post --I did say that this is not about ALL marriages and that plenty of husbands help when they get home and this is only an EXAMPLE. And I've seen it. I've seen women who work around the clock. Getting up in the middle of the night with the kids when they are sick.. taking them to all of their practices, etc and the men come home expecting dinner on the table. It does exist and as I said it is only one example. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
flyinghonu 0 #50 February 25, 2004 You forgot: "love him (or her) so much, I'd do ANYTHING for them" I LOOOOOOOOOOOOVVVVVVVVVVVEEEEEEEEEE my hubby!!! "Excuse me while I kiss the sky..." - Jimi Hendrix Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
