Can you have a life outside of skydiving?

[mailin 0]

I'm a bit contemplative tonight...

I'm getting geared up to start AFF (finally!) in April - but I'm aprehensive about going full force for a few reasons.

1. My husband. He's support of my decision to skydive. I have this thing about pushing limits that have been set, and skydiving is shattering a limit thats been imposed on me - and it means alot to me to do well with it... and for that he supports me. But he is far from inclusive. He will never skydive himself. He won't take chances like that - which is fine, this is my thing. I don't want to push this limit - i want things to keep going great with us; yet I've heard many people saying that a relationship where one doesn't skydive just doesn't work... someone, quick, show me examples of where it has.

2. Having hobbies other than skydiving. I do ALOT of different things. Lots of artsy craftsy stuff, and lots of volunteering. We don't have kids - so I have time for that. At the moment we have the financial means to be able to do lots of varied stuff. I know skydiving will change this. Who has hobbies outside of skydiving and is not a professional skydiver?

I'm very worried about how much life could/would change with this. I want it - but I'm not so sure if I want it if the costs are too great.

I like the saying "skydiving is what I do, not who I am" - just hope it holds true for the majority of you.

Jennifer

Arianna Frances

[Ron 10]

You can do it.

You will never be the best.

You may not be current enough to be the safest.

But you can do it.

Things do ave to give way.

Money will run out. Time will run out.

But it can be done.

I started flying R/C airplanes again..

And to be honest I would rather fly them than skydive at times.

Skydiving has gotten a little boring.

"No free man shall ever be debarred the use of arms." -- Thomas Jefferson, Thomas Jefferson Papers, 334

[skygod7777 0]

maybe yoshi (kevin) will say something on here, he jumps his ass off and his wife doesn't jump. and they seam to get along great. sometimes cristy would come out to the dz and just chill in her chair. hell she'd even sit around and talk to us, and you could tell she was cool with it when she got her new chair, she was like "hey, kevin get's his new rig, i get a new chair"

later

[yardhippie 0]

Im a jumper and my wife not. I also spend time working on my car, plus work and go to school. It becomes an issue near then end of the summer when Ive been gone every weekend for 2 months. But we work it out. She loves to come to the DZ and hang out and take pictures. Everyone there treats her just like one of "us", and that makes all the difference.

Goddam dirty hippies piss me off! ~GFD
"What do I get for closing your rig?" ~ me
"Anything you want." ~ female skydiver
Mohoso Rodriguez #865

[freeflir29 0]

I got a new job in Feb 2003. After starting skydiving in May 2000 I was rather addicted. After about 300 jumps by Jan 2003 I started the new job and got kinda busy. I had lots to do with spending 3 months in training, moving to a whole new city, and getting settled into actually being operational in the new job. I spent most of 2003 NOT having too many weekend days off. It's TOUGH to get in many skydives in Ohio during the week. You have to wait on the odd tandem or student to show up and then it's usually only a Cessna to 10K. Somehow, it really didn't bother me. After all, there was the excitement of a new job. An important job that COULD have VERY historical consequences of my daily performance. Being out of the military for 2 years I had gotten a yearn to be "Back in the fray" as some put it. The job entertained me. After a year.....I am very well settled in the job. Now....I MISS skydiving. I only made about 80 or so jumps last year. Probably half what I made the year before. Right now I'm ready to spend EVERY off minute at the DZ and I'm counting the FREAKIN minutes until I hit the Mardi Gras boogie. Your first couple years you'll be somewhat obsessed with jumping but as time goes on you'll drift back and forth on it. Unless you are the type to fall for moving to the DZ and living in a tent.

[brits17 0]

1. Your husband deal, don't know what to tell you there, but I'm sure ya'll will work it out just fine. I've seen it work many a times.

2. Ya, it'll probably take away from your other hobbies for a while, you may be in 'obsession mode' like most everybody gets at first. Time will let you get back to your 'normal' life again. You'll be happy the whole while though I believe. You wouldn't enjoy jumping so much if it didn't make you happy. Best of luck

_______________________
aerialkinetics.com

[Brian425 0]

My wife doesn't jump and has no interest in ever jumping. We worked it out very simply, some weekends, we go to the DZ, some weekends we do what she wants to do. If you are just considerate of the other person, you can work it out.

Just remember it can become a little tiresome to the non jumper (Eva is not a Whuffo, just a skydiver with 0 jumps

The only time you should look down on someone is when you are offering them your hand.

[CornishChris 5]

I find threads like the "sex or skydiving" one quite bizarre and whilst I appreciate your concerns you are different from everyone else out there so you do what you want to do. For you and your relationship it will almost certainly never be the choice of one or the other...

I jump almost every weekend and get between 4 and 6 jumps in one of the two days. The other day my wife & i do stuff together. She has been to the DZ once. I may never be the best, as Ron points out, but I think am current enough to be safe and I love the sport. I love my wife more though and while she is happy for me to do this then I will keep doing it. Being the best is not necessarily what it is about.

It is all about balance. If we go on holiday we may go somewhere and I would not jump - so what the DZ will be there when I get back. If I want to do an overnight at the DZ because ther is a camp on she is fine with that too. We also go off and do stuff she wants to do so it is not just about me.

Any couple should be able to make this work unless there is real pressure from the SO not to do it, be it safety reasons or otherwise.

I would not lose sleep about whether something you don't do yet will cause problems in the future. Just gt out there and enjoy yourself and see where it takes you.

CJP

Gods don't kill people. People with Gods kill people

[gmanpilot 0]

  Quote

I'm very worried about how much life could/would change

Jennifer,

I made about 1,200 jumps in my first 3 years in the sport, and it had a big impact on my life/marriage. It will change, whether it's for the better or not......? It all depends.

_________________________________________
-There's always free cheese in a mouse trap.

[Michele 1]

Jen, what are hobbies for? To fill the time with something you enjoy until you have to do something you don't enjoy, right?

If you get wholly consumed by the flying bug, it will not last like that, and you will also have time for your other hobbies. Perhaps not as extensively, but that's hobbies...I'm currently on a knitting/crocheting kick, which can be done at night...some months its a different kind of kick...and others it's still different.

You'll find the balance, I know you will.

As for your husband, do you think Deuce has a bad marriage? I think he's got one of the best around, imho, and Corrine is content to let Deucy play in the sky...as I am sure your husband will, as well. Further, do you do everything with your husband, or does he have his own interests? I seem to recall a conversation about cars, radios, and the freezing cold....LOL...as you were snug inside your home w/ your scrapbooking.

You're fine. You will, as you always have, find the balance. It's there to be found....

Ciels and hugs to you-
Michele

~Do Angels keep the dreams we seek
While our hearts lie bleeding?~

[flyangel2 2]

Jen,
At first it a good idea to give everything you have to AFF. This will keep you current and safe when you are learning. Yes, there will be some weekends, it feels like, that all you are doing is skydiving. After a few years, you can back off and balance.
Good luck, you know I love ya and can't wait to see you in the sky.
Mar

May your trails be crooked, winding, lonesome, dangerous, leading to the most amazing view. May your mountains rise into and above the clouds. - Edward Abbey

[cruzit 0]

  Quote

At first it a good idea to give everything you have to AFF. This will keep you current and safe when you are learning. Yes, there will be some weekends, it feels like, that all you are doing is skydiving. After a few years, you can back off and balance.

Couldn't have said it better myself. I was totally immersed the first couple of years I was jumping. In fact, I got so immersed I finally burned out(teaching the FJC twice a weekend 52 weekends a year will do that to you).

You'll get to a point in time where you will have enough confidence in your skills to stop feeling like you have to jump every weekend. Remember to keep a balance and not to exclude all the other stuff you love.

[jumpinfarmer 0]

I hope to maintain a life outside of the sky. Last year I did, I can't get away to jump every weekend because of the farm but when I can I try to. There are alot of times when I can't get to the DZ because of time or weather limitations Thats when I try to do other things.

[smiles 0]

  Quote

I'm getting geared up to start AFF (finally!) in April - but I'm aprehensive about going full force for a few reasons.

I am confused here- you haven't even begun AFF and your concerned about having a life outside skydiving??
Your concentration should be on your training while doing your AFF course.

From an "old hand" ...to an "old hand"...
I have been skydiving over 15 yrs. and have had no difficulty keeping my "life" balanced through out those yrs. (making 1,200+ jumps, + appreciating each and every second of them.)


My 1st. 5 yrs. in the sport I made approx. 100 jumps per yr. (live in B.C. Canada and am restricted to jumping within the season when weather permits)
I be nothin but the happiest smilin skydiver.


SMiles

[tbrown 26]

I wouldn't worry about it at this point. It sounds like you have the kind of marriage where the two of you can detect signs of something becoming a problem. Don't be bothered by what a lot of other people, especially skydivers have to say about marriage. In case you haven't noticed, some of us are very immature people who wouldn't know a relationship if it bit them on their behind. Then again, there are others who are very perceptive in their relationships.

Of course there is always life away from the dropzone. It's always there and you're free to pass back & forth between both worlds as you like. Maintaining the balance will be up to you. And as far as marriage goes, there will be times you and your husband will just have to work at the hard stuff whether or not you skydive.

I've been married 23 years. I was jumping when I met my wife (she was a first jump student). I quit jumping during our engagement and didn't jump again for 22 years. She never asked me to stop and there were times she insisted I would someday jump again, when I wasn't even interested in talking about it. Since I started back a year ago, she's been very supportive. She hasn't come out to the dropzone yet and insists she will not make a tandem. But she's thrilled that I'm having so much fun. The secret is that she's REAL. And that's all you gotta be, is real.

Your humble servant.....Professor Gravity !

[Snowbird 0]

The first year I started jumping, going through my student progression and working on my A license, nothing else existed. All my energy and attention was on skydiving. No balance with 'other' interests at all.

The second year, I chose to make skydiving a priority. But, I began to bring other things into my life again, including writing which had been my passion before skydiving. I was happy with that balance.

This year, I'm writing constantly again, planning my garden... doing all the things I love most. Skydiving is still a priority, but I have the mental and emotional space to blend everything back into a nice balance.

A bunch of things got put on the backburner for awhile, but it was always good!

Women and cats will do as they please, and men and dogs should relax and get used to the idea.
-Robert A. Heinlein

[mailin 0]

Thanks for everyones perspective


Jennifer

Arianna Frances

[Tink1717 2]

I have many hobbies other than jumping. I ski, fly planes, bicycle, hike, go to museums and lectures. Skydiving is just my number one hobby. Working shift work allows me opportunities to do thing away from the ebb and flow of non-participants. This work well with girlfriends who want no part of jumping. Although, I find that non jumpers don't work as well as jumpers do for the long term.

One thing is for sure: your status quo is about to undergo a MAJOR change.

Skydivers don't knock on Death's door. They ring the bell and runaway... It really pisses him off.
-The World Famous Tink. (I never heard of you either!!)
AA #2069 ASA#33 POPS#8808 Swooo 1717

[MuffDiver 0]

My wife does not skydive, and doesn't really care to come to the DZ as it can be boring if you don't jump. We can only jump in the summer at my DZ so I spend most of my weekends in the summer jumping. I do take a couple off to take her out of town for the weekend or if I have other commitments with family. The winter is hers and we pretty much do things that she likes to do in the winter. In fact I'm buying a new rig so I am taking her on trip to Jamaica in March. Its all about compromises, just like anything else in a marriage.

__________________________________________________
Don't take life too seriously. You'll never get out alive.

[Designer 0]

Humm,being who you are is important.One of my ex-girlfriends made 1 jump.Her main bitch was that I was never there for her on the weekends.How can you make both happy?Me give up 1 days jumping for her,no way!Relationship over.That said,are you prepared to part with your partner?What is most important overall?

[dropoutdave 0]

Life is what you make of it.

------------------------------------------------------
May Contain Nut traces......

[LuvToFly 0]

  Quote

I don't want to push this limit - i want things to keep going great with us; yet I've heard many people saying that a relationship where one doesn't skydive just doesn't work...

Jennifer -

Just in case it DOES get tense - I have heard an explanation that makes a lot of sense that might be helpful to you if you get into this in a big way:

Life is full of uncertainties, and a large part of the reason for that is all the subleties, nuances, and crap like that. What is that person thinking?? Why is it that some people can do a really good job at something, and others do a poor job and get positively recognized - and so on and so on.

There seems to be no logic or pattern to the "rules" sometimes.

There is something very satisfying, and refreshing about being involved in a sport where there are no questions about the rules - of gravity that is. There are certainties, and sure that may mean if you don't deploy, you're goin in. But the whole realm is both unforgiving, but much more predictable than most people's day to day world (the occasion mal excepted, of course)

I mention this as I have a friend for whom skydiving starting to take a toll because the S/O really did not understand the motivation. Thought they may have wanted to stray, were losing interest in them, etc.. Hearing this explanation - that there are some of us that really enjoy cuttin' through the bulls*it and getting into something where you know where you stand, you know what's at risk, and you have the satsifaction of knowing you performed well under those circumtances, helped the S/O to understand that this is neither a death wish nor did it represent a lack of interest in them. Skydiving is raw - you're out there and you feel like a lot of the outcome really is in your hands - so that when you have that great landing, you just know that it was no accident, not prejudicial, and not pure luck - but a byproduct of your training, your nerve, and your ability to concentrate. No politics, no B.S. -

Just a thought -

"The helicopter approaches closer than any other to fulfillment
of mankind's ancient dreams of a magic carpet" - Igor Sikorsky

[kitof1976 0]

It's all about balance baby!!! If you keep things in balance, everything will be fine. I am married to a whuffo wife who doesn't care much about skydiving, I have two young girls, a full time job and many other activities on the side as well as hobbies ect.... It can be managed just fine if you keep things in balance. Skydiving is a blast, but it's just an activity among others. The thing is that it's very addicting and if you have an addicting personality it could get you in trouble with other aspects of your life... Just like other addictions...
Keep it under control... accept the fact that you won't be able to spend every second of every weekend at the DZ because you have other responsbilities( Mom and wife) and it will be just fine.

Have a blast girlfriend...it's all about balance and compromises!!!

"We see the world just the way we are...

[Paige 0]

There's life outside skydiving???? JK, its totally possible. I even had my bf stay on the ground with me before he was leaving for a different state for the next 6 mons. All summer I couldn't rip him out of his bm suit but he missed a few loads so just lay around with me. I guess that's the good stuff I like outside of skydiving. I still do enjoy my jumpin friends more than my whuffo friends. The whuffo's wonder when I'm going to stop talking about jumpin and my jumper buddies share similar stories. Sometimes its enough just to talk about it, or at least its enough when you live in Ohio for the winter.

Tunnel Pink Mafia Delegate
www.TunnelPinkMafia.com

[cocheese 0]

I hope you become a very happy and successful skydiver.