BlkPnthr 0 #1 February 19, 2004 Don't think this is a repost, so: Etiquette For Men Under no circumstances may two men share an umbrella. It is ok for a man to cry under the following circumstances: a. When a heroic dog dies to save his master b. The moment Angelina Jolie starts unbuttoning her blouse c. After wrecking your boss' car d. One hour, 12 minutes, 37 seconds into "The Crying Game" e. When his date is using her teeth Unless he murdered someone in your family, you must bail a friend out of jail within 12 hours. If you've known a guy for more than 24 hours, his sister is off limits forever, unless you actually marry her. The minimum amount of time you have to wait for a guy who's running late is 5 minutes. Maximum waiting time is 6 minutes. For a girl, you have to wait 10 minutes for every point of hotness she scores on the classic 1-10 scale. Complaining about the brand of free beer in a friend's fridge is forbidden. Gripe at will if the temperature is unsuitable. No man shall ever be required to buy a birthday present for another man. In fact, even remembering your buddies birthday is optional. When stumbling upon other guys watching a sporting event, you may always ask the score of the game in progress, but you may never ask who's playing. It is permissible to drink a fruity chick drink only when you're sunning on a tropical beach... and it's delivered by a topless supermodel... and it's free. Friends don't let friends wear Speedos. Ever. Issue closed. If a man's zipper is down, that's his problem. You didn't see nothin'. Never hesitate to reach for the last beer or the last slice of pizza, but not both. That's just plain mean. Never talk to a man in a bathroom unless you are on equal footing: both going, both waiting in line, etc. For all other situations, an almost imperceptible nod is all the conversation you need. The morning after you and a babe who was formerly "just a friend" have had carnal drunken rampant s.x, the fact that you're feeling weird and guilty is no reason not to do it again before the discussion about what a big mistake it was. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
FIREFLYR 0 #2 February 19, 2004 Straight out of MAXIM."One flew East,and one flew West..............one flew over the cuckoo's nest" "There's absolutely no excuse for the way I'm about to act" Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
turtlespeed 221 #3 February 19, 2004 Finaly Truth Be Told!I'm not usually into the whole 3-way thing, but you got me a little excited with that. - Skymama BTR #1 / OTB^5 Official #2 / Hellfish #408 / VSCR #108/Tortuga/Orfun Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
juanesky 0 #4 February 19, 2004 you forgot one: Never put the toilet seat down."According to some of the conservatives here, it sounds like it's fine to beat your wide - as long as she had it coming." -Billvon Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
turtlespeed 221 #5 February 19, 2004 Quoteyou forgot one: Never put the toilet seat down. Why should we, we get enough excersize pushing the little silver handle.I'm not usually into the whole 3-way thing, but you got me a little excited with that. - Skymama BTR #1 / OTB^5 Official #2 / Hellfish #408 / VSCR #108/Tortuga/Orfun Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
yardhippie 0 #6 February 19, 2004 QuoteQuoteyou forgot one: Never put the toilet seat down. Why should we, we get enough excersize pushing the little silver handle. handle? toilets have handles? Goddam dirty hippies piss me off! ~GFD "What do I get for closing your rig?" ~ me "Anything you want." ~ female skydiver Mohoso Rodriguez #865 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
juanesky 0 #7 February 19, 2004 That is why the seat should never be down."According to some of the conservatives here, it sounds like it's fine to beat your wide - as long as she had it coming." -Billvon Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
turtlespeed 221 #8 February 19, 2004 Why do they even put them on there? Kinda silly if you ask me. If they would leave them off the thighs in america would be in better shape. I'm not usually into the whole 3-way thing, but you got me a little excited with that. - Skymama BTR #1 / OTB^5 Official #2 / Hellfish #408 / VSCR #108/Tortuga/Orfun Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
yardhippie 0 #9 February 19, 2004 QuoteWhy do they even put them on there? Kinda silly if you ask me. If they would leave them off the thighs in america would be in better shape. well of course there would be much more "hovering" going on. Goddam dirty hippies piss me off! ~GFD "What do I get for closing your rig?" ~ me "Anything you want." ~ female skydiver Mohoso Rodriguez #865 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
juanesky 0 #10 February 19, 2004 Which reminds me, that in the Navy's boot camp, the women are required to leave them up.."According to some of the conservatives here, it sounds like it's fine to beat your wide - as long as she had it coming." -Billvon Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
flyangel2 2 #11 February 19, 2004 Can I add one? Just make me breakfast in the morning and leave.May your trails be crooked, winding, lonesome, dangerous, leading to the most amazing view. May your mountains rise into and above the clouds. - Edward Abbey Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
turtlespeed 221 #12 February 19, 2004 QuoteWhich reminds me, that in the Navy's boot camp, the women are required to leave them up.. I never knew that and I was in the Nav.I'm not usually into the whole 3-way thing, but you got me a little excited with that. - Skymama BTR #1 / OTB^5 Official #2 / Hellfish #408 / VSCR #108/Tortuga/Orfun Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
yardhippie 0 #13 February 19, 2004 QuoteCan I add one? Just make me breakfast in the morning and leave. do we at least get to eat before you throw us out? Goddam dirty hippies piss me off! ~GFD "What do I get for closing your rig?" ~ me "Anything you want." ~ female skydiver Mohoso Rodriguez #865 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
turtlespeed 221 #14 February 19, 2004 QuoteQuoteCan I add one? Just make me breakfast in the morning and leave. do we at least get to eat before you throw us out? Heh - she was adding to OUR list. If I make breakfast, there's payment due directly afterward.I'm not usually into the whole 3-way thing, but you got me a little excited with that. - Skymama BTR #1 / OTB^5 Official #2 / Hellfish #408 / VSCR #108/Tortuga/Orfun Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
juanesky 0 #15 February 19, 2004 Don't forget the sausage......"According to some of the conservatives here, it sounds like it's fine to beat your wide - as long as she had it coming." -Billvon Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
happythoughts 0 #16 February 19, 2004 Quote...in the morning If you guys are in the house, you must not be practicing safe sex. "Yeah, it's safe, nobody comin' down the road. " Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
flyangel2 2 #17 February 19, 2004 What are we eating We can play hide the sausageMay your trails be crooked, winding, lonesome, dangerous, leading to the most amazing view. May your mountains rise into and above the clouds. - Edward Abbey Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
yardhippie 0 #18 February 19, 2004 QuoteWhat are we eating We can play hide the sausage well hell.. I dont wanna hide it! I have a poor short term memory.... I might forget where I put it.... and have to leave it there... till it goes bad.!!!! LOL Goddam dirty hippies piss me off! ~GFD "What do I get for closing your rig?" ~ me "Anything you want." ~ female skydiver Mohoso Rodriguez #865 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Kramer 0 #19 February 19, 2004 My friends and I made a list similar to this a while back, we call it, The Male Code. The FAKE KRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAMER!!!!!!!!! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
juanesky 0 #20 February 19, 2004 We need video as proof....and bon apetite!"According to some of the conservatives here, it sounds like it's fine to beat your wide - as long as she had it coming." -Billvon Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
flyangel2 2 #21 February 19, 2004 You guys are so easy...........May your trails be crooked, winding, lonesome, dangerous, leading to the most amazing view. May your mountains rise into and above the clouds. - Edward Abbey Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
turtlespeed 221 #22 February 19, 2004 QuoteYou guys are so easy........... Maybe, but we are NOT cheap!I'm not usually into the whole 3-way thing, but you got me a little excited with that. - Skymama BTR #1 / OTB^5 Official #2 / Hellfish #408 / VSCR #108/Tortuga/Orfun Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
kallend 2,093 #23 February 19, 2004 QuoteIf you've known a guy for more than 24 hours, his sister is off limits forever, unless you actually marry her. Quote I had a friend who tried to match me up with his sister. She was a looker but unfortunately it turned out she was only interested in girls.... The only sure way to survive a canopy collision is not to have one. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites juanesky 0 #24 February 19, 2004 Reminds me of Supertramp, breakfast in America"According to some of the conservatives here, it sounds like it's fine to beat your wide - as long as she had it coming." -Billvon Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites PhillyKev 0 #25 February 19, 2004 QuoteQuoteQuoteCan I add one? Just make me breakfast in the morning and leave. do we at least get to eat before you throw us out? Heh - she was adding to OUR list. If I make breakfast, there's payment due directly afterward. Or during...that works for me too. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites Prev 1 2 Next Page 1 of 2 Join the conversation You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account. Note: Your post will require moderator approval before it will be visible. Reply to this topic... × Pasted as rich text. Paste as plain text instead Only 75 emoji are allowed. × Your link has been automatically embedded. Display as a link instead × Your previous content has been restored. Clear editor × You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL. Insert image from URL × Desktop Tablet Phone Submit Reply 0 Go To Topic Listing
juanesky 0 #24 February 19, 2004 Reminds me of Supertramp, breakfast in America"According to some of the conservatives here, it sounds like it's fine to beat your wide - as long as she had it coming." -Billvon Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
PhillyKev 0 #25 February 19, 2004 QuoteQuoteQuoteCan I add one? Just make me breakfast in the morning and leave. do we at least get to eat before you throw us out? Heh - she was adding to OUR list. If I make breakfast, there's payment due directly afterward. Or during...that works for me too. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
