Bathroom Poetry

[CrazyThomas 0]

What is the favorite limerick you've read while dropping the Browns off at the super bowl?

I'll start with my favorite one so far.

"There is an eye that sees everything you do. And it hates you."

I know there must be a ton out there, and I searched for the subject line (re-post checking), and only found one other so far.

"Seen on a bathroom stall in Oklahoma:

Here I sit,
My cheeks a-flexin',
Giving birth to another Texan! "
--from a poster on here, who was replying to something about living in Texas.

Let's hear what else has been seen around the stalls.


Thomas

[pleifer 0]

Here I sit all broken hearted,
Had to shit and only farted

_________________________________________
The Angel of Duh has spoke

[vdschoor 0]

"Here I sit and meditate,
Shall I shit, or masturbate"

-- unknown



Iwan

[elfanie 0]

Quote

Here I sit all broken hearted,
Had to shit and only farted

You're missing the rest of it...

Here I sit all broken hearted
came to sh** but only farted
wasted a dime, but what the hell
at least I an sit and enjoy the smell.



then there's the lovely poem that I was taught as a child..
You hag, you bag,
you filthy scag
you dirty rotton slut
where fungus grows
amongst your toes
and crabs fall out your butt
before I'd scale them slimy legs
or suck them festered tits
I'd drink a bowl of buzzard piss
and die of the shivvering sh*ts.

--------------------------------------------
Elfanie
My Skydiving Page
Fly Safe - Soft Landings

[GARYC24 3]

"He who writes on bathroom walls
Rolls his turds in little balls
He who reads these words of wit
Eats those little balls of shit.

[Glipazide 0]

Here I lie in stinky vapor,
Because some bastard stole the toilet paper,
Shall I lie, or shall I linger,
Or shall I be forced to use my finger.

Here I sit
Broken hearted
Tried to ****
But only farted

Here I sit
What a caper
I have to ****
But I'm out of paper
-----------------------------

You're lucky
You had your chance
I tried to fart,
And **** my pants!

Some people come here to take a ****,
I came here to leave one.

Some come here to sit and think,
Some come here to **** and stink,
But I come here to scratch my balls,
And read the bull**** on the walls...

---------------------------------------

Here I sit, I'm at a loss
trying to **** out taco sauce.
When it comes, I hope and pray,
I don't blow my ass away

(Written high upon the wall)
If you can piss above this line,
the Hillsboro Fire Department wants you.

(Seen above a urinal)
Please do not throw cigarette butts in our urinal.
We don't piss in your ashtrays!

(Scratched into the paint of the condom-dispensing machine)
"Don't buy this gum, it tastes like rubber."

(Under a sign that said: "Employees Must Wash Hands")
I waited and waited, but I finally washed them myself

http://sexygirlabs.com/url]

[kingbunky 3]

in a truck stop bathroom:

here i sit with a broken heart
took two pills but my truck won't start.
just to prove that i'm a die-hard trucker,
i took two more and pushed the motherfucker.

"Hang on a sec, the young'uns are throwin' beer cans at a golf cart."
MB4252 TDS699
killing threads since 2001

[cvfd1399 0]

Drop the kids off at the pool.

Go take a supervisor and wipe your boss.

RELEASE the chocolate hostages!

[pop 0]

Here is my fav...


Writing on bathroom walls my friend
Is not so wise a deed
Around turd we're all great poets
Around great poets we're all shit!

7 ounce wonders, music and dogs that are not into beer

[countryscrub 0]

there once was a man with corkscew dick
the mother f#@%er had a 12 inch prick
he spend his life on a very long hunt
looking for a gal with a corkscrew c#^t
when he found her he fell over dead
can you believe that bitch had left handed thread


there once was a guy from nantucket
with a dick so long he could suck it
he said with a grin as the cum driped from his chin
if my ear was a c#%t id f$%k it

_________________________________________

i used to do alot of things ....skydiving wont be one of them :)

[weegegirl 2]

Ah, that reminds me of the good ol' days...

I used to write this on the chalkboard in highschool before class so I could go have a smoke:

Please excuse me if I'm late, I really have to urinate.

Okay, yours were better!

[Kennedy 0]

That reminds me of an old joke.

one day the teacher walked in, and written real small on the chalk board was the word "penis."

she erased it and checked the class to see if anyone was laughing. she couldn't find the culprit so went on with class as usual.

the next day, it was there again, a little larger. things went on like this for a week. on friday, with the owrd taking the entire board, she finally snapped, and screamed at the class that if that filthy word appeared on monday, everyone would have detention for a week.

so next monday she walked in, and did not find the word. instead, she found this explanation:
"it's your own fault. don't you know that when you rub it it just gets bigger?"

witty subliminal message
Guard your honor, let your reputation fall where it will, and outlast the bastards.
1*

[n2skdvn 0]

Quote

That reminds me of an old joke.

one day the teacher walked in, and written real small on the chalk board was the word "penis."

she erased it and checked the class to see if anyone was laughing. she couldn't find the culprit so went on with class as usual.

the next day, it was there again, a little larger. things went on like this for a week. on friday, with the owrd taking the entire board, she finally snapped, and screamed at the class that if that filthy word appeared on monday, everyone would have detention for a week.

so next monday she walked in, and did not find the word. instead, she found this explanation:
"it's your own fault. don't you know that when you rub it it just gets bigger?"

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

if my calculations are correct SLINKY + ESCULATOR = EVERLASTING FUN
my site

[CrazyThomas 0]

another one I remembered :

When you're hot, you're hot.
When you're not, you're not.
And when you're on the pot,
Give it all you got.

Thomas

[ifall 0]

Of days of old when nights were bold
and condoms weren't invented.
I slipped a sock upon my cock
and babies were prevented.

[jdfreefly 1]

My father owned a portable toilet company for a while, which I ran and worked in...I saw some beauties:

written seriously by job foreman: Please don't throw cigarettes into the urinal
written underneath that: It makes them difficult to light

Please don't throw toothpicks into the urinals, the crabs are learning to poll vault.
Day 1:
"UNION STEW" with an arrow pointing into the toilet on a job site that had both union and non-union workers
Day 2:
the word "NON" was placed infront of the word union

"Beer rental return" with an arrow pointing to the urinal.

and all the rest mentioned above...I thought about publishing a book comprised entirely of pictures of things scrawled on the insides of porta-potties.

Methane Freefly - got stink?

[Marz 0]

This is one I saw when I was in the university bar restroom:

"I fucked your mother"

and underneath someone scribbled:

"Go home Dad, you're drunk!"