Middle-of-the-Night Stupid Funny

[Gawain 0]

From the "I just flew in from Philadelphis and boy are my arms tired" department:

A guy walks into the psychiatrist wearing only Glad Wrap shorts.

The shrink says, "Well, I can clearly see you're nuts."

So I try and I scream and I beg and I sigh
Just to prove I'm alive, and it's alright
'Cause tonight there's a way I'll make light of my treacherous life
Make light!

[samhussey 0]

A guy walks into a dentists and says "excuse me doctor, I was wondering if you can help me, I'm under the delusion that I'm a moth."
The dentist says "I'm sorry, you want the psychiatrist next door", so the man says, "I know, but your light was on"

[SkydiveMonkey 0]

Did you hear about the aethiest dyslexic insomniac? He sat up in bed at night wondering if there was a dog

____________________
Say no to subliminal messages

[gary350 0]

A guy walks into the psychiatrist office and blurts out, "I'm a teepee! I'm a wigwam!"

The shrink says, "Calm down - you're too tense!"

[lawrocket 3]

Two peanuts were walking through a park. One was assaulted.

My wife is hotter than your wife.

[airborne31582 0]

What did the fish say when he swam into a wall?

Damn!

Chris
I thought of the odds of me succeeding, versus the odds I was doing something incredibly stupid, and I went ahead anyway.

[kai2k1 0]

There's two muffins in the oven. One muffin looks at the other muffin and says "Damn, It sure is hot in here". The other Muffin turns to him and says "HOLY SHIT, A FUCKIN' TALKIN MUFFIN"

There's no truer sense of flying than sky diving," Scott Cowan

[SpeedRacer 1]

Charles Dickens walks into a bar and orders a martini.

The bartender says, "Olive or Twist?"

Speed Racer
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