jumpinjackflash 0 #1 February 2, 2004 A week ago I did Tunnel in Perris Valley with Pat McGowan. It was an incredible experience that I'll never forget. A week ago my biggest worry was my form. I returned to St. Louis. Woke up the following day, feeling fabulous. That evening, my son, my baby, decided to hang himself. My daughter found him, dead in his room. She screamed, I ran, pulled him down, laid his lifeless body on the floor, checked his vitals, and began CPR. After thirty seconds or so, his heart started beating, and he began to breathe. The streets were covered in snow and ice, as I wept, and breathed with him (his breaths were irregular at best) my daughters friend was downstairs on the phone with 911. To compress it all, he spent the first part of the week in a coma at ICU at Cardinal Glennon in St. Louis. He is out of the coma, walking (with assistance) eating (with assistance), smiling, kissing, and hugging. Since he can only speak one word at a time that I can understand, and his awareness is marginal for the most part, I have no idea what he remembers of his life previously. I don't really know if he even knows me at this point. He is at this moment getting an MRI. The CAT scans and EEG done earlier in the week are promising and the results haven't shown any major damage yet. However, he has a long road ahead, and we'll just have to take it one step at a time. I've been a wreck for a week. I've felt every emotion from thankfulness to anger. Understand, this wasn't a wake up call to me. My entire life since my son and daughter has been born has revolved around them. I love them, hug them, kiss them, praise them and take part in every aspect of their lives with all of my being. My son was very very happy the two weeks prior to my trip to CA. He has been under the care of a psychiatrist for over a year and in counseling for some time as well. However, all signs pointed to a strong child, involved in his church, three years a football player, drummer, chess player, Scout, etc..etc... I almost lost him. In fact I did. But, he came back. I'm not sure what my point is here, just that I thought I should share. My heart is completely and totally broken. A week ago, everything was right with my world. Now I'm frightened, saddened, and heartbroken. I've never asked, but if it's in you, vibes would be wonderful. peace to you all, JackIt's a gas, gas, gas... Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
wmw999 2,456 #2 February 2, 2004 Oh. I have a 20-year-old son whom I love, and still can't even begin to imagine how you feel. Prayers and vibes to all of you. Wendy W.There is nothing more dangerous than breaking a basic safety rule and getting away with it. It removes fear of the consequences and builds false confidence. (tbrown) Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
skymama 37 #3 February 2, 2004 Oh my gosh....I can't imagine anything worse than losing a child, or coming as close as you did. I hope he continues to get the therapy he needs so he won't feel like he needs to try this again. Many, many vibes to your family.She is Da Man, and you better not mess with Da Man, because she will lay some keepdown on you faster than, well, really fast. ~Billvon Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Nightingale 0 #4 February 2, 2004 {{{{{{{{{{{VIBES}}}}}}}}}}}}}}} is there an address where we can send him cards to let him know we're thinking of him? Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
cvfd1399 0 #5 February 2, 2004 I am sorry for the times you are going through it is tough to look for anything good out of this other than he is alive. One thing I really want to say to you is you did save his life that is the greatest gift you can ever give him. Good job with the C.P.R. {{{{{{{{{{{{{{{VIBES}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}} Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
flygirl03 0 #6 February 2, 2004 ((((HUGS)))) and Prayers † my friend. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ earthbound misfit Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
TribalTalon 0 #7 February 2, 2004 Dude.. wow. that must be so hard for you. Hopefully he realizes that he is loved and that there is a reason for living. all the vibes in the world to you man, and to your son, i hope everything works out for the best. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Rainbo 0 #8 February 2, 2004 Dude, You got em. As many as can possibly find their way to you, your son, and your whole family. I am glad that for whatever reason his life was given back to you and your family. Here's to many years to have together again. RainboRainbo TheSpeedTriple - Speed is everything "Blessed are those who can give without remembering, and take without forgetting." Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
VanillaSkyGirl 6 #9 February 2, 2004 Oh my God! Jack, I'm so very, very sorry that this happened to you. god, I just saw you online and sent yo a PM. I was wondering if anything was wrong as I hadn't heard from you since I saw you in Perris. Oh my god. I don't know what to say, except my thoughts/prayers/vibes/everything is with you right now. PLEASE call me if you need to talk. I am so very, very sorry that this happened to you and your family. I had a feeling that something weird may have happened because you were "missing" on here, lately. God, please hang in there, sweetie. God, now I'm crying for you and your family. I hope that your son can have a completely full recovery. My prayers will be with you. Sending you my best, now and always, Jack, ROSA P.S. I will call you tonight. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
McDuck 0 #10 February 2, 2004 My heart and soul go out to you and your family, my friend. {{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{VIBES}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}Kevin - Sonic Beef #5 - OrFun #28 "I never take myself too seriously, 'cuz everybody know fat birds don't fly." - FLC Online communities: proof that people never mature much past high school. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
kelel01 1 #11 February 2, 2004 {{{{{{{{{{{{{{{VIBES}}}}}}}}}}}}}} and (((((((((((((((((HUGS))))))))))))))). I'm so sorry that you and your family are going through this. Kelly Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
bmcd308 0 #12 February 2, 2004 <<>> ---------------------------------- www.jumpelvis.com Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
jumpinjackflash 0 #13 February 2, 2004 You are, such an incredible sweetheart. Thank you. Please do call. I'll be busy until around 9:30pm Central, but call anytime then or after. I'm still at the hospital, in fact, I'm having a really really tough time leaving him. This will be my first nite away from him since it happened. Everytime I close my eyes I see him and it frightens me to no end. Anyhow, you were also the biggest highlite for me last week. Getting to Perris and meeting someone that I knew, a friendly voice that I could put with a face, you were incredible for taking time out and meeting me. Hugs to You Rosa, call me when you can. JackIt's a gas, gas, gas... Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Rebecca 0 #14 February 2, 2004 Oh my gosh Jack. All my vibes are yours and your son's right now. you've got to ask yourself one question: 'Do I feel loquacious?' -- well do you, punk? Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
jumpinjackflash 0 #15 February 2, 2004 Thank You Kris. I'm sitting here in the hospital right now, and believe it or not, I'm not sure what the add info is, but I'll try and get it. I sure missed you last week, was looking forward to meeting you. BIG BIG Thanks and vibes for the directions, along with a map at the rental place, I used your directions to get to the dz. Your a sweetie Kris, I hope I get to meet you sometime down the road, maybe I'll get the chance to shoot directions or assistance your way some day. peace JackIt's a gas, gas, gas... Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
jumpinjackflash 0 #16 February 2, 2004 Thanks Kel, Much appreciated. I'm having a very tough time seeing out the other side of this thing, but I'm trying. I know this, when he opened his eyes, and smiled at me, I thought my heart was going to explode. I've never seen anything more beautiful. It reminded me of his birth when he opened his eyes. JackIt's a gas, gas, gas... Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
skybytch 273 #17 February 2, 2004 I wish I had some deep and meaningful words to say that would make all of this better for you. But I don't. Know that you, your son, and your family are in the thoughts and prayers of many, many people right now. Please keep us updated on how he's doing. And please, as you're dealing with all of this - take care of yourself too. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Nightingale 0 #18 February 2, 2004 also remember that for every person who posts something here, there are many more who read your post and are thinking of you and your family, but just aren't quite sure what to say. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
jumpinjackflash 0 #19 February 2, 2004 You know Lisa, I have to say. I'm sure you could be a bytch when you want. As I can be a complete and downright total ass. But honestly? Any interaction I've ever had with you, or watching you with others? Well, SkyAngel would be more appropriate. Thank You for your thoughts, I will let you all know of his progress. Also? I'm seeking a doctor myself this week. I've come to the realization that I have to or I will go completely nuts over this one. Peace Lisa, JackIt's a gas, gas, gas... Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
VanillaSkyGirl 6 #20 February 2, 2004 QuoteThank you. Please do call. I'll be busy until around 9:30pm Central, but call anytime then or after. I'm still at the hospital, in fact, I'm having a really really tough time leaving him. I understand, Jack. Of course, I will call you later, then. I know how happy you were when I met you and how much your gushed on and on about your beautiful children, and it just breaks my heart to have read this. I'm sorry that I didn't write to you before because I kept meaning to after weekend trip and then my surgery. I was thinking about you and wondering how you were doing. I'm sorry that I couldn't spend more time with you at Perris that evening. I could tell that you were just so happy...so very, very happy at that moment in your life. It is just so wrong that this happened. Anyway, I would love to talk tonight. I hope that somehow you can find a little comfort when we talk. Life can throw you some huge curveballs, which can be difficult to overcome, but I know that you and your children can make it through this, Jack. Hang in there and tell him that we are all praying for him. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
gerryfuss 0 #21 February 2, 2004 I don't know exactly what to say . You are sharing a horrifying yet amazing story with us. That is truely amazing you were able to save him. I hope your son has a swift recovery and hopefully forgets whatever made him think that was his only choice. I was actually thinking of taking a CPR course that starts on Wednesday. After reading this I decided that I am going to sign up. You never know when you may be in the position to save someones life, and in your case especially, a loved one. thank you for sharing and my heart goes out to you and your son. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
hooked 0 #22 February 2, 2004 I am so so sorry. This is a true parent's nightmare. I know exactly what you mean when you say "everytime I close my eyes, I see him". I hope that your son recovers fully and finds the help he needs so desparately. My prayers are with you, your family and your son. Jan -------------------------------------- Sometimes we're just being Humans.....But we're always Human Beings. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
LuvToFly 0 #23 February 2, 2004 Jack, I am so sorry to hear of this event in you and your family's lives. Sympathy and compassion go out to you for what had to be a very difficult week - There was a close neighbor who lived across the street from me when I was at my old house, and last year, the exact same thing happened. Their 15 year old boy decided to hang himself in his clothes closet. They looked for him for a while because he was no where to be found, and then his mother opened the closet much later and he was there - There was no getting Phillip back however - he was long gone. I knew this child, spoke with him, saw him for years... Thought about this a lot and wondered how a parent (I am one too) could ever endure the hardship and the pain of such a thing - May God richly bless your efforts to restore your son to full health, and may his heart be healed also of whatever the inner pain or despair might have been to bring him there. He has a family that loves and cares him - and that makes all the difference - Regards, Tom "The helicopter approaches closer than any other to fulfillment of mankind's ancient dreams of a magic carpet" - Igor Sikorsky Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
jumpinjackflash 0 #24 February 3, 2004 Tom, thank you so much. I didn't think I'd get him back. I know what his mother went through when she found him. It is the most frightening thing in the world. I only wish she would've gotten him back as well. I have to believe that she and her husband are completely and totally heartbroken. The pain of this is beyond anything I could've ever imagined and for me this is even after I found out Eric's heart was beating. My heart goes out to them. JackIt's a gas, gas, gas... Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Darius11 12 #25 February 3, 2004 I wish there was magic words that people could tell each other that would heal a heart. I wish it was that easy. I have no idea what to say bro. Your in my thoughts and prayers. VIBES. I hope he makes a full recovery and you can see him smile all the time. Peace DariusI'd rather be hated for who I am, than loved for who I am not." - Kurt Cobain Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
