Casie 0 #1 January 27, 2004 The Receptionist: An older gentleman had an appointment to see the urologist who shared an office with several other doctors. The waiting room was filled with patients. As he approached the receptionist desk he noticed that the receptionist was a large unfriendly woman who looked like a Sumo wrestler. He gave her his name. In a very loud voice, the receptionist said, "YES, I HAVE YOUR NAME HERE; YOU WANT TO SEE THE DOCTOR ABOUT IMPOTENCE, RIGHT?" All the patients in the waiting room snapped their heads around to look at the very embarrassed man. He recovered quickly, and in an equally loud voice replied, "NO, I'VE COME TO INQUIRE ABOUT A SEX CHANGE OPERATION, BUT I DON'T WANT THE SAME DOCTOR THAT DID YOURS."~Porn Kitty WARNING: Goldschlager causes extreme emotional outbursts! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Casie 0 #3 January 27, 2004 HOW TO TRANSLATE PERSONAL ADS: WOMEN'S ADS: 40-ish....................................49 Adventurer.............................Slept with all your friends Athletic..................................No tits Average looking......................Has a face like a basset hound Beautiful................................Pathological liar Contagious Smile....................Does a lot of Ecstasy Educated..........................Banged her Political Science professor Emotionally Secure.................Medicated Feminist..................................Fat ball buster Free spirit...............................Junkie Friendship first................Trying to live down reputation as a slut Fun......................................Annoying Gentle...................................Comatose Good Listener........................Borderline Autistic New-Age...............................All body hair, all the time Old-fashioned.......Lights out, missionary position only, no BJs Open-minded..........................Desperate Outgoing................................Loud and Embarrassing Passionate..............................Sloppy drunk Poet.......................................Depressive Schizophrenic Professional............................Certified Bitch Redhead.................................Bad dye-job Reubenesque...........................Grossly Fat Romantic................................Looks better by candle light Social..............Has been passed around like an hors d'oeuvres tray Voluptuous.............................Very Fat Height/weight proportional.......Hugely Fat Wants Soul mate......................Stalker Widow................................Drove first husband to shoot himself Young at heart. .......................Old bat MEN'S ADS: 40-ish.....................................52 and looking for 25-yr-old Athletic...................................Watches a lot of NASCAR Average looking...........Unusual hair growth on ears, nose, &back Educated..............................Will patronize the shit out of you Free Spirit........... ...................Banging your sister Friendship first...................As long as friendship involves nookie Fun.................................Good with a remote and a six pack Good looking...........................Arrogant Very good looking....................Dumb as a board Honest....................................Pathological Liar Huggable.......................Overweight, more body hair than a bear Likes to cuddle........................Insecure mama's boy Mature....................................Older than your father Open-minded....Wants to sleep with your roommate but she's not interested Physically fit............................Does a lot of 12-ounce curls Poet.......................Wrote ex-girlfriend's phone number on a bathroom stall Sensitive..................................Cries at chick flicks Very sensitive...........................Gay Spiritual....................................Got laid in a cemetery once Stable..........................Arrested for stalking, but not convicted Thoughtful......................Says "Excuse me" when he farts~Porn Kitty WARNING: Goldschlager causes extreme emotional outbursts! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Casie 0 #4 January 27, 2004 LOL....my friend just sent this to me: Did you know that I am a High Performance Woman?? I can go from Zero to Bitch in less than 2.1 seconds!!~Porn Kitty WARNING: Goldschlager causes extreme emotional outbursts! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
CrazyIvan 0 #5 January 27, 2004 QuoteLOL....my friend just sent this to me: Did you know that I am a High Performance Woman?? I can go from Zero to Bitch in less than 2.1 seconds!! That's a pretty slow bitch, I've seen some 'instant' bitchiness sometimes. __________________________________________ Blue Skies and May the Force be with you. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Casie 0 #6 January 27, 2004 ~Porn Kitty WARNING: Goldschlager causes extreme emotional outbursts! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
ACMESkydiver 0 #7 January 27, 2004 ~Jaye Do not believe that possibly you can escape the reward of your action. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
diablopilot 2 #8 January 27, 2004 It would be funny to apply some of these to some of the DZ.com users..... ---------------------------------------------- You're not as good as you think you are. Seriously. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Lee03 0 #10 January 28, 2004 All are pretty good, and what Ivan said!-------- To put your life in danger from time to time ... breeds a saneness in dealing with day-to-day trivialities. --Nevil Shute, Slide Rule Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
