hooked 0 #1 January 8, 2004 If this has been posted before, sorry. I don't have the patience to do a search today. I thought they were funny. SOUTHERNISMS "Well, butter my butt and call me a biscuit." "He fell out of the ugly tree and hit every branch on the way down." "Have a cup of coffee--it's already been 'saucered and blowed.'" "She's so stuck up, she'd drown in a rainstorm." "It's so dry, the trees are bribing the dogs." "My cow died last night, so I don't need your bull." "He's as country as cornflakes." "This is gooder'n grits." "If things get any better, I may have to hire someone to help me enjoy it." "I'm 'bout as........" "Nervous as a long tailed cat in a room full of rocking chairs." "Busy as a moth in a mitten." "Happy as a clam at high tide." Notice to Northerners moving to the South: Be advised that in the South, "He needed killin'" is a valid defense. -------------------------------------- Sometimes we're just being Humans.....But we're always Human Beings. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
n2skdvn 0 #2 January 8, 2004 You forgot "hold my beer an' watch this...."if my calculations are correct SLINKY + ESCULATOR = EVERLASTING FUN my site Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
quatorze 1 #3 January 8, 2004 The best one is how Southern women can get away with saying just about anything bad about someone as long as at the beginning or ending of the statement the phrase "Bless his/her heart" is used i.e. "that poor girl has really packed on the pounds lately, bless her heart." "Bless his heart, he vouldn't tell that his date to the prom was a 45 year old coktail waitress with a Dolly Parton wig." I'm not afriad of dying, I'm afraid of never really living- Erin Engle Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
jsaxton 0 #4 January 8, 2004 You forgot: "This dog won't hunt". Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
quatorze 1 #5 January 8, 2004 Crazy as a shit house rat I'm not afriad of dying, I'm afraid of never really living- Erin Engle Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
skymama 37 #6 January 8, 2004 I think it's funny when people always say that they are "fixin'" to do something. They should just do it!She is Da Man, and you better not mess with Da Man, because she will lay some keepdown on you faster than, well, really fast. ~Billvon Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
yardhippie 0 #7 January 8, 2004 I will now butcher said southernisms, b/c 1. I have nothing better to do right now. and 2. I have lived all of my life in the south. and 3. Im family is as southern as you can get. (if ya have any question maybe Ill give you a story) Quote SOUTHERNISMS "Well, butter my butt and call me a biscuit." just nasty, I belive a yankee came up w/ this as some sort of joke on a southern br eakfast. cuz eatin gravy w/ you ass just aint appealin. "He fell out of the ugly tree and hit every branch on the way down." used it... and added: "built his house w/ that ulgly tree". "Have a cup of coffee--it's already been 'saucered and blowed.'" Never heard this one in my life. Sorry, but I just don wan a cup of that somebody has "blowed". "She's so stuck up, she'd drown in a rainstorm." Seems I heard this somewhere. "It's so dry, the trees are bribing the dogs." Nope.. dont use this one at all. And I spend a lot of time in the wood "a huntin" w/ my old uncle. tinderbox is the preferred phrase. Everybodys knows if ya piss on firewood ya cant stand to be around it! "My cow died last night, so I don't need your bull." yup... southern. I refuse to use it, but I have hear it more than a time. "He's as country as cornflakes." CORNFLAKES?! what tha hell is county bout cornflakes?!! "This is gooder'n grits." Grits aint good. Most em I know don like em. But some do. "If things get any better, I may have to hire someone to help me enjoy it." Nope not this one either. Dont yall know we's poor? Who'd go and spend money on somthing foolish like that? "I'm 'bout as........" "Nervous as a long tailed cat in a room full of rocking chairs." yup... and thats nervous! "Busy as a moth in a mitten." Im sure that purty busy... but I aint heard it. "Happy as a clam at high tide." Can clams be happy? and maybe they like the low tide? Ive heard "Happy as a hog in a mudpuddle" Notice to Northerners moving to the South: Be advised that in the South, "He needed killin'" is a valid defense. yup, it be. what I told ya here is just bout as true as ya can git. 'mornin to yall! Goddam dirty hippies piss me off! ~GFD "What do I get for closing your rig?" ~ me "Anything you want." ~ female skydiver Mohoso Rodriguez #865 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
quatorze 1 #8 January 8, 2004 Quote "Nervous as a long tailed cat in a room full of rocking chairs." yup... and thats nervous! Busier that a one legged man in an ass kicking contest or Slicker than greased owl shit or F*&%ed up like a nine door cadilac I'm not afriad of dying, I'm afraid of never really living- Erin Engle Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
happythoughts 0 #9 January 8, 2004 QuoteYou forgot "hold my beer an' watch this...." Or the follow up to that "...he just didn't do it right, watch this." Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
yardhippie 0 #10 January 8, 2004 QuoteQuote "Nervous as a long tailed cat in a room full of rocking chairs." yup... and thats nervous! Busier that a one legged man in an ass kicking contest or Slicker than greased owl shit or F*&%ed up like a nine door cadilac ahhh.... yup. those are classics.Goddam dirty hippies piss me off! ~GFD "What do I get for closing your rig?" ~ me "Anything you want." ~ female skydiver Mohoso Rodriguez #865 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
skydyvr 0 #11 January 8, 2004 Well I'll be dipped in shit, and rolled in corn flour! . . =(_8^(1) Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
yardhippie 0 #12 January 8, 2004 QuoteWell I'll be dipped in shit, and rolled in corn flour! yea... we call that "fried okra" here! Goddam dirty hippies piss me off! ~GFD "What do I get for closing your rig?" ~ me "Anything you want." ~ female skydiver Mohoso Rodriguez #865 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
turtlespeed 221 #13 January 8, 2004 Well, Shit Fire and Save the matches. . . thats licker than cat snot on a "lee now -leeum" floor.I'm not usually into the whole 3-way thing, but you got me a little excited with that. - Skymama BTR #1 / OTB^5 Official #2 / Hellfish #408 / VSCR #108/Tortuga/Orfun Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Thanatos340 1 #14 January 8, 2004 Quote thats licker than cat snot on a "lee now -leeum" floor. I always heard it as: Slicker than Snot on a Door Knob. or Slicker than Cat Sh*t on a "lee now -leeum" floor. What is the difference between a Yankee and a Damn Yankee?? A Yankee Lives up North. A Damn Yankee used to live up North. To the Yankees that come down here and go on about how things are done up north... Delta is ready when you are!! I was once held Prisoner of War in Connecticut for a year and was always thoroughly amused by Yankees who would ask me what "A Grit" was. I was still in High School at the time and actually had teachers get very upset with me for saying Mam and Sir, They felt I was being a smart-ass. In the deep south, not saying Mam or Sir was a good way to earn a premature visit from the tooth fairy. Strange place up there and the people talk funny too. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
SkydivingNurse 0 #15 January 8, 2004 Wow, this post is starting to remind me of Gramma! The Grandparents live in Augusta GA, about a stones throw from that golf course they never let me play on Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
RoadRash 0 #16 January 8, 2004 QuoteQuote thats licker than cat snot on a "lee now -leeum" floor. To the Yankees that come down here and go on about how things are done up north... Delta is ready when you are!! I was once held Prisoner of War in Connecticut for a year and was always thoroughly amused by Yankees who would ask me what "A Grit" was. I was still in High School at the time and actually had teachers get very upset with me for saying Mam and Sir, They felt I was being a smart-ass. In the deep south, not saying Mam or Sir was a good way to earn a premature visit from the tooth fairy. Strange place up there and the people talk funny too. LoL...that is soooo true...when I moved from NC(I'm originally from Louisiana...Too bad people degrade southerners b/c of accents...~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~ Fly the friendly skies...^_^...})ii({...^_~... Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
jlmiracle 7 #17 January 8, 2004 QuoteI think it's funny when people always say that they are "fixin'" to do something. They should just do it! I moved to Tennessee from Minnesota. Everytime I hear "fixin", I ask what's broken. Judy p.s. "He was madder than bobcat in a phone booth getting it's ass rubbed with sand paper. and "He's hornier than a 1/2 jacked off dog.Be kinder than necessary because everyone you meet is fighting some kind of battle. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Luv2Fall 0 #18 January 8, 2004 A Grit is a Girl Raised In The South. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Laurel 0 #19 January 8, 2004 I am a GRIT (Girl Raised In The South) through and through. These are the ones I tend to use: * She looks like nine miles of bad road * She looks rode hard and put up wet * He's rough as a cob * It's as cold as a well digger's ass * Oh my stars and bars! (said when you have been shocked) * I could eat corn through a chain-linked fence before I got braces. * I avoided that accident by the skin on my teeth. * When I cut myself, I bled like a stuck pig. * The Jones family is high cotton. (high society) * I was running around like a chicken with its head cut off. (insanely busy) * I remember when you were knee-high to a grasshopper (I remember when you were very young) Also, I don't use this one, but it's a favorite fighting saying: * I'll knock you into next week..................................................................... PMS#28, Pelogrande Rodriguez#1074 My Pink M Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
TheRus 0 #20 January 8, 2004 One from my best friend's mom... Happy as a dead pig in the sun We asked her for clarification once and she told us this: Mom: Would a dead pig in the sun want anything more? Us; No, I guess not. Mom: Sounds pretty happy to me then! Yeah, it's fine, we'll walk down the line. Leave our rain, a cold trade for warm sunshine You my friend, I will defend... and if we change, well, I love you anyway Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
jlmiracle 7 #21 January 8, 2004 oh oh oh, i have 1 more. Hotter than a fresh fucked goat in a pepper patch. JudyBe kinder than necessary because everyone you meet is fighting some kind of battle. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Luv2Fall 0 #23 January 8, 2004 My pappy goin'a sue ya'll fer maliciafous slanderfication. Ya'll gwyneta be sorry when you get subpeonified by Boss Hogg, the Hazzard county court judge! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Pammi 0 #24 January 8, 2004 The one I think is so funny since I moved here is how if someone is drunk they are "Slap up". What?! Pam Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
TomAiello 26 #25 January 8, 2004 QuoteI was once held Prisoner of War in Connecticut... I believe you're supposed to say that in your best Lewis Grizzard voice...Like this: [Grizzard]I was once held prisoner of war in Chicago, Illinois[/Grizzard] That one's a well-used line from his stand-up routine; or this: [Grizzard]There is one good thing to come out of Chicago--Interstate 65 South[/Grizzard] Or my personal favorite: [Grizzard]People say we talk funny. God talks like we do.[/Grizzard] BTW, I think Grizzard was a closet BASE jumper--just judging by his haunts.-- Tom Aiello Tom@SnakeRiverBASE.com SnakeRiverBASE.com Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
