Man Of The Year Award

[taln1rigr 0]

Hopefully this isn't a repost ... it's long but freaking HILARIOUS!! Enjoy!

Dear Terri,
I know the counselor said we shouldn't contact each other during our "cooling off" period, but I couldn't wait anymore. The day you left, I swore I'd never talk to you again. But that was just the wounded little boy in me talking. Still, I never wanted to be the first one to make contact. In my fantasies, it was always you who would come crawling back to me. I guess my pride needed that. But now I see that my pride's cost me a lot of things. I'm tired of pretending I don't miss you. I don't care about looking bad anymore. I don't care who makes the first move as long as one of us does. Maybe it's time we let our hearts speak as loudly as our hurt. And this is what my heart says... "There's no one like you, Terri." I look for you in the eyes and breasts of every woman I see, but they're not you. They're not even close.

Two weeks ago, I met this girl at the Rainbow Room and brought her home with me. I don't say this to hurt you, but just to illustrate the depth of my desperation. She was young, Terri, maybe 19, with one of those perfect bodies that only youth and maybe a childhood spent ice skating can give you. I mean, just a perfect body. Tits you wouldn't believe and an ass like a tortoise shell. Every man's dream, right? But as I sat on the couch being blown by this coed, I thought, look at the stuff we've made important in our lives. It's all so surface. What does a perfect body mean? Does it make her better in bed? Well, in this case, yes. But you see what I'm getting at. Does it make her a better person? Does she have a better heart than my moderately attractive Terri? I doubt it. And I'd never really thought of that before. I don't know, maybe I'm just growing up a little. Later, after I'd tossed her about a quart of throat yogurt, I found myself thinking, "Why do I feel so drained and empty?" It wasn't just her flawless technique or her slutty, shameless hunger, but something else. Some niggling feeling of loss. Why did it feel so incomplete? And then it hit me. It didn't feel the same because you weren't there, Terri, to watch. Do you know that I mean? Nothing feels the same without you, baby. Jesus, Terri, I'm just going crazy without you. And everything I do reminds me of you.

Do you remember Carol, that single mom we met at Mt. Sinai Baptist Church? Well, she drops by last week with a pan of lasagna. She said she figured I wasn't eating right without a woman around. I didn't know what she meant till later, but that's not the real story. Anyway, we have a few glasses of wine and the next thing you know we're doing it in our old bedroom. And this broad's a total monster in the sack. She's giving me everything, you know like a real woman does when she's not hung up about God and her career and whether the kids can hear us. And all of a sudden she spots that tilting mirror on your grandmother's old vanity. So she puts it on the floor and we straddle it, right, so we can watch ourselves. And it's totally hot, but it makes me sad too. 'Cause I can't help thinking, "Why didn't Terri ever put the mirror on the floor? We've had this old vanity for what, 14 years, and we never used it as a sex aid." (Some of this I thought about later.) You know what I mean? What happened to our spontaneity? You get so caught up in the routine of a marriage and you just lose sight of each other. And then you lose yourself. That's the saddest part of all for me. But I keep thinking we can get it back. I know we can, because I only want this stuff with you.

Saturday, your sister drops by with my copy of the restraining order. I mean, Shannon's just a kid and all, but she's got a pretty good head on her shoulders. She's been a real friend to me during this painful time. She's given me lots of good counsel about you and about women in general. (She's pulling for us to get back together, Terri. She really is.) So we're drinking in the hot tub and talking about happier times. Here's this hot girl with the same DNA as you (although, let's face it, she got an extra helping of the sexy gene) and all I can do is think of how much she looks like you when you were 18. And that just about makes me cry. And then it turns out Shannon's really into the whole anal thing and that gets me to thinking about how many times I pressured you about trying it and how that probably fueled some of the bitterness between us. But do you see how even then, when I'm thrusting inside the steaming hot Dutch oven of your sister's cinnamon ring, all I can do is think of you? It's true, baby. In your heart you know it. Don't you think we could start over? Just wipe out all the grievances and start fresh? I think we can. I keep thinking that I think if you'd just try it, I wouldn't have to pressure you so much. Because who needs all that bitterness, Terri? It just tears us apart. And I can't be apart from you. Because I love you.

[CrazyIvan 0]

Very long...I'll wait for the movie

__________________________________________
Blue Skies and May the Force be with you.

[pleifer 0]

here i will sum it up for ya, readers digest style

couple breaks up, man screws lots a people, thinks of ex-girl while screwing. and then wants her back

_________________________________________
The Angel of Duh has spoke

[freeflir29 0]

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couple breaks up, man screws lots a people, thinks of ex-girl while screwing. and then wants her back

Well of course.....Maybe she was good.....

[taln1rigr 0]

I don't think he really wants her back ... more like he's getting back at her ... ... since she probably wouldn't touch him with a 10' pole ... but then again, I think that's the point.

[Layton 0]

i think she should do her duty and go back to him hahahahahahahahhah!!!!!!!!!!!!! and iron his shirt!!***if you are on the edge ya might as well step off

[PLFKING 4]

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it's long but freaking HILARIOUS!!

Absofuckinlutely! Fell out of my chair two or three times...

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And then it turns out Shannon's really into the whole anal thing and that gets me to thinking about how many times I pressured you about trying it and how that probably fueled some of the bitterness between us. But do you see how even then, when I'm thrusting inside the steaming hot Dutch oven of your sister's cinnamon ring, all I can do is think of you? It's true, baby.

Now I'm going to get back down on the floor and finish laughing my ass off...


Don

"When in doubt I whip it out,
I got me a rock-and-roll band.
It's a free-for-all."

[FunBobby 0]

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Now I'm going to get back down on the floor and finish laughing my ass off...

Holy smokes. No kidding -
LMFAO !!!

FunBobby

[taln1rigr 0]

Thank-you, Thank-you, Thank-you I knew if given half a chance it'd be as funny to someone else as it was to me. I'm not sure if it'll get the same approval ratings from the girlies but I was LMAO when I read it!

Thanks for the rave reviews guys!
Thanks for taking the time to read it ... it really is worth it.

[skymama 37]

I thought it was funny too!

She is Da Man, and you better not mess with Da Man,
because she will lay some keepdown on you faster than, well, really fast. ~Billvon

[souleh 0]

ROFL! Classic!

'buttplugs? where?' - geno

[WrongWay 0]

Whoa, deja vu!!

This letter should be revised with teh following changes:

Dear WrongWay,

(story)

All my love, Every one of your ex's

Wrong Way
D #27371 Mal Manera Rodriguez Cajun Chicken Ø Hellfish #451
The wiser wolf prevails.

[kai2k1 0]

LMFAO!!! that is hilarious

There's no truer sense of flying than sky diving," Scott Cowan

[jumpinjackflash 0]

Ahh Fuck!!!!


I swear I would've thought Crazy Ivan posted this shit!!!!

Damn Girls, I know it's wrong, I know it is.


But this is some hilarious shit!

It's a gas, gas, gas...

[taln1rigr 0]

Isn't it though ... it should almost be considered mandantory reading!
If others get past the fact it's a little long & just commit s few minutes to reading it they may find it's not as long as it seems & they might actually like it ... ALOT!
JUST DO IT!

[rehmwa 2]

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Isn't it though ... it should almost be considered mandantory reading!
If others get past the fact it's a little long & just commit s few minutes to reading it they may find it's not as long as it seems & they might actually like it ... ALOT!
JUST DO IT!

Worth it. FUNNY.

...
Driving is a one dimensional activity - a monkey can do it - being proud of your driving abilities is like being proud of being able to put on pants

[RoysPlayThing 0]

I don't know about this man of the year stuff... But I know that chopchop is a post whore!

_______________________________________________
My mind is like a parachute...it functions only when open.

[jumpinjackflash 0]

Ok, just caught this reviewing stuff....


First? Damn, aren't you just too cute. I always blush when I find someone that thinks just like I do!!!!



Makes me feel "less deviant", or, "more deviant", hell, maybe it just validates I'm not alone???

Secondly?

I want to become a rigger, a master rigger, first though, I'll just settle for packing a good chute...

I need you, bad.

peace,



jjf

It's a gas, gas, gas...

[taln1rigr 0]

Quote

Ok, just caught this reviewing stuff....
First? Damn, aren't you just too cute. I always blush when I find someone that thinks just like I do!!!!

Makes me feel "less deviant", or, "more deviant", hell, maybe it just validates I'm not alone???
Secondly?
I want to become a rigger, a master rigger, first though, I'll just settle for packing a good chute...
I need you, bad. peace,
jjf

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Damn, aren't you just too cute.
I need you, bad

Hee, hee ... thanks ... do you even know which one (in my avatar) I am?

[jumpinjackflash 0]

LOL - see, there I go again, getting in trouble!

When I said you were "too cute", I wasn't referring to the pic!

I guess being a guy, and opening my mouth the way I do here, it was just naturally assumed!

I was referring to the cuteness of your post!

Re the avatar? Hell, both girls are completely cute!





jack

It's a gas, gas, gas...

[taln1rigr 0]

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LOL - see, there I go again, getting in trouble!
When I said you were "too cute", I wasn't referring to the pic!
I guess being a guy, and opening my mouth the way I do here, it was just naturally assumed!
I was referring to the cuteness of your post!
Re the avatar? Hell, both girls are completely cute!

jack

**giggle** You're sucha' sweetie ... I think it's cute you think I'm cute, & now that I know you know you think I'm cute & you know I know I think you're cute ... well, isn't that just cute?!?!?

And good answer on the avatar question ... playing safe ... good idea ... unles ya' wanna be a bad boy & get into more trouble.

[jumpinjackflash 0]

Ahhhh, playing "safe", well, I guess you could look at it that way...

The other way would be, I think your both completely desirable, and, as such, wouldn't throw either out. In fact, in truth, I was hopin for the both of you. But truly you both are hotties and a man would be nuts to run from either of you.

Regarding safety? Hell, I've just been unleashed from 13+ years of committedness....

Safety, is not a consideration. Were on the ground (least for the moment) and not in a fast moving vehicle.

So, are you going to tell me? Which one you are?

I am a bad boy, I do want to get in to troulbe. Now that we've got that clear?



blues,


Jack

It's a gas, gas, gas...

[taln1rigr 0]

You're just full of the right things to say ... whoever let you go after 13 years lost alot! What was she thinking?

Flattery will get you everywhere ... even the answer to your question ... I'm the one on the left, my little sister is the one on the right. It's not a very clear or good pic but it's probably the most recent.

Thank you oodles for the kind words & compliments ... keep that up & you won't have any worries with what to do with the next 13 years ... you'll have your pick of chicks.

[jumpinjackflash 0]

Flattery will get you far as well!
As far as her letting me go, I'm almost reluctant to say, but I'm the one that pulled red on that one.

It appeared that the skydiving life wasn't going to be complimentary to our relationship, so....

Regarding the one on the left? WOW!!! Damn girl, but you are cute. Regarding the next thirteeen years? Well, I certainly am about the "moment" right now, and will be for a while I think... However, I'm certainly looking forward to some "quality moments" with the right woman! but beyond that? I'm not certain I'm the kind to be kept? One never knows though I suppose.


Tis kind of nice truly though, no hurry, none of the teenage angst, pressure to act quickly before I explode - LOL.

Nice place to be, not too bad at all.

The compliments are all yours, free to keep. Truly, you deserve them. Let's see, a rigger, skydiver, beautiful woman, hmmmmm, hell, I'm not sure there could be more to like!


Be Safe,



Jack

It's a gas, gas, gas...