Write your letter to Santa

[skymama 37]

I'm not at liberty to post what my letter ended up saying because it would be incriminating. It comes out pretty funny though!

http://www.wtv-zone.com/LadyBoheme/dearsanta.html

She is Da Man, and you better not mess with Da Man,
because she will lay some keepdown on you faster than, well, really fast. ~Billvon

[marks 0]

Quote

I'm not at liberty to post what my letter ended up saying because it would be incriminating. It comes out pretty funny though!

http://www.wtv-zone.com/LadyBoheme/dearsanta.html

LMAO!!!

im not posting mine either

[DJatLarge 0]

Dear Santa,

I want unlimited checking account, and a new job!

I'll need to job so I can still sit on DZ.com while at work.

[dove 0]

God, I wish it was that easy to have a wish granted.

Fall in dove.

[Sheenster303 0]

That was cracked out.........very funny.

I'm so funny I crack my head open!

P.M.S. #102

[FrogNog 1]

Dear Santa, I wish I had a magic carpet that could climb 10,000 fpm and carry at least a 4-way team (plus video).

-=-=-=-=-
Pull.

[gulaz 1]

I will post mine, I dont mind... Ahem:
Dear Santa,

I have been a good boy.

It really wasn't my fault what happened at Kat's Christmas party. It was Lori who spiked the punch with too much beer. I can't help it if I drank 69 glasses. It was so good---smelled and tasted just like Eau de Toilette.

I thought it was funny when I put John's Sock on my head and danced the Macarena on the Couch while singing `Safety Dance'. I didn't mean to break Kat's Blender and don't know why Kat would sue me for Killing kittens.

I don't remember calling Ryan's wife a pretty sheep---even though she looked like one with purple eye shadow and pink lipstick!

And when I threw up on Bev's husband's Foot, it was only because I ate too much of that Spaghetti.

After all that fun, I admit I was a little tired. So I fell asleep on my way home and drove my Train through my neighbor's Bedroom. I don't think that was any reason for my neighbor to call me a ugly cat and have me arrested for adultery!

So, Santa...here I sit in my jail cell on Christmas Eve, all long and beautiful. And I'm really not to blame for any of this strong stuff. Please bring me what I want the most---bail money!

Sincerely and quickly yours,
Luke (Really a nice boy!)

P.S. It's only 42 bucks!

[SkydiveNFlorida 0]

Quote

Dear Santa,

I want unlimited checking account, and a new job!

I'll need to job so I can still sit on DZ.com while at work.

Unlimited funds in your checking account... why would you want/need a job? I'll just take the unlimited checking account. . Free $$ I can spend as I please (skydiving, college, coral reef tank, scuba... oh, man, I gotta go play the lotto!)

Angela.

[FrogNog 1]

Quote

Dear Santa,

I want unlimited checking account, and a new job!

I'll need to job so I can still sit on DZ.com while at work.

If I had an unlimited checking account, I think the only time I would return to DZ.com is to see where and when the next boogie is gonna be. And I'd probably just pay someone to tell me while I packed. (Yeah, with an unlimited checking account, I'd still pack my own gear. It's not about being cheap, it's about being sure.)

-=-=-=-=-
Pull.

[Antithesis 0]

Thank you I just spit at my monitor. Which wouldn't be so funny if I wasn't at the library

I travel the land, Work in the ocean, Play in the sky

[Tripitaka 0]

nice

[jessd 0]

Mine didn't turn out too funny but I will post it anyway.

Dear Santa,

I have been a good girl.

It really wasn't my fault what happened at brock's Christmas party. It was joel who spiked the punch with too much beer. I can't help it if I drank 8 glasses. It was so good---smelled and tasted just like apple pie.

I thought it was funny when I put shane's sweater on my head and danced the waltz on the bed while singing `i feel home'. I didn't mean to break brock's dvd player and don't know why brock would sue me for drunk driving.

I don't remember calling jesse's wife a sweet cow---even though she looked like one with green eye shadow and purple lipstick!

And when I threw up on pauline's husband's leg, it was only because I ate too much of that pizza.

After all that fun, I admit I was a little tired. So I fell asleep on my way home and drove my celica through my neighbor's bathroom. I don't think that was any reason for my neighbor to call me a small dog and have me arrested for murder!

So, Santa...here I sit in my jail cell on Christmas Eve, all large and attractive. And I'm really not to blame for any of this dark stuff. Please bring me what I want the most---bail money!

Sincerely and patiently yours,
Jess (Really a nice girl!)

P.S. It's only 7 bucks!

"Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away..."

[RevJim 0]

OK, I didn't read any replies, just went and filledit out as best as I could. This is what I ended up with. I could tweak it to make it better, but hell, it's cool just like this:

Quote

Dear Santa,

I have been a good boy.

It really wasn't my fault what happened at Sunshine's Christmas party. It was Flyangel2 who spiked the punch with too much Bourbon and Sour. I can't help it if I drank 13 glasses. It was so good---smelled and tasted just like musk.

I thought it was funny when I put Skybytch's shirt on my head and danced the Lambata on the coffee table while singing `The Twist'. I didn't mean to break Sunshine's Neptune and don't know why Sunshine would sue me for Public Intoxication.

I don't remember calling Remster's wife a screwy Goat---even though she looked like one with green eye shadow and red lipstick!

And when I threw up on Skykat's husband's thigh, it was only because I ate too much of that chocolate.

After all that fun, I admit I was a little tired. So I fell asleep on my way home and drove my Durango through my neighbor's Laundry room. I don't think that was any reason for my neighbor to call me a round sheep and have me arrested for Public Urination!

So, Santa...here I sit in my jail cell on Christmas Eve, all big and circular. And I'm really not to blame for any of this purple stuff. Please bring me what I want the most---bail money!

Sincerely and quickly yours,
Rev Jim (Really a nice boy!)

P.S. It's only 69 bucks!

It's your life, live it!
Karma
RB#684 "Corcho", ASK#60, Muff#3520, NCB#398, NHDZ#4, C-33989, DG#1

[kansasskydiver 0]

hahahahahahahahaha

<--- See look, pink dolphins DO exist!

[happythoughts 0]

I'm ready for Santa to bring me my present. I put up both my stockings.

[Frodo 0]

Dear Santa,

You must be surprised that I'm writing to you today, the 26th of December. Well, I would very much like to clear up certain things that have occurred since the beginning of the month, when, filled with illusion, I wrote you my letter. I asked for a bicycle, an electric train set, a pair of roller blades, and a football uniform.

I destroyed my brain studying the whole year. Not only was I the first in my class, but I had the best grades in the whole school. I'm not going to lie to you, there was no one in my entire neighborhood that behaved better than me, with my parents, my brothers, my friends, and with my neighbors. I would go on errands, and even help the elderly cross the street. There was virtually nothing within reach that I would not do for humanity.

What balls do you have leaving me a fucking yo-yo, a stupid whistle and a pair of socks. What the fuck were you thinking, you fat son of a bitch, that you've taken me for a sucker the whole fucking year to come out with some shit like this under the tree. As if you hadn't fucked me enough, you gave that little faggot across the street so many toys that he can't even walk into his house.

Please don't let me see you trying to fit your big fat ass down my chimney next year. I'll fuck you up. I'll throw rocks at those stupid reindeer and scare them away so you'll have to walk back to the fucking North Pole, just like what I have to do now since you didn't get me that fucking bike. FUCK YOU SANTA. Next year you'll find out how bad I can be, you FAT-SON-OF-A-BITCH.

Sincerely,
Little Johnny

[sunshine 2]

Damn, i throw one helluva christmas party!!

___________________________________________
meow

I get a Mike hug! I get a Mike hug!

[TheAnvil 0]

Dear Santa,

I have been a very good boy. I have consumed lots of tequila this year, with high expectations for receiving my entire Christmas list.

Here is what I want for Christmas:

- billvon to renounce the democratic party and become a hypocritical libertarian
- a maintenance free car for SKYMAMA
- ten cases of Patron delivered to Hollister monthly
- BASE jumping in Yosemite to be legal
- free beer for all USPA members
- Osama bin Laden to die a horrid death
- my own personal elven parachute packer - incapable of packing a slammer opening
- a partridge in a pear tree
- oh yeah....a brand new MIRAGE too

OK Santa. I've presented my demands and think them reasonable, given the massive amounts of tequila I've consumed this year. Get off of your fat ass and make this happen or face the consequences of me drinking MORE tequila next year!

Yours in agave,

Vinny the Anvil

Vinny the Anvil
Post Traumatic Didn't Make The Lakers Syndrome is REAL
JACKASS POWER!!!!!!

[souleh 0]

Dear santa,

Some blue skies (a first) and a dropzone that's open down here in Cornwall, would be *real* nice.

And if you could pay off my student loan..


Nick
(Good little boy! )

'buttplugs? where?' - geno

[Zeemax 0]

you forgot warmth.. we have blue skies... its just too fricking cold!

I've heard a rumour that someone was going to re-open a DZ in cornwall??

Phoenix Fly - High performance wingsuits for skydiving and BASE
Performance Designs - Simply brilliant canopies

[boudy 0]

Last year, I hoped that he'd get the hint that I wanted a ticket to a tunnel camp. I wrote:

"Dear Santa,
Please leave a little something this year that will assure I won't suck so badly at skydiving"

Christmas morning I found my USPA license, a gallon of gas & book of matches sitting on top of my gear bag.
Ho, Ho, Ho

[Zeemax 0]

bwahahahahahaha


Dear Santa,

I have been a good boy.

It really wasn't my fault what happened at sophie's Christmas party. It was matt who spiked the punch with too much tequilla. I can't help it if I drank 69 glasses. It was so good---smelled and tasted just like pot pouri.

I thought it was funny when I put matt's jeans on my head and danced the la bamba on the sofa while singing `i would do anything for muff'. I didn't mean to break sophie's i pod and don't know why sophie would sue me for theft.

I don't remember calling bob's wife a fisting sheep---even though she looked like one with blue eye shadow and yellow lipstick!

And when I threw up on edna's husband's boobs, it was only because I ate too much of that curry.

After all that fun, I admit I was a little tired. So I fell asleep on my way home and drove my bus through my neighbor's kitchen. I don't think that was any reason for my neighbor to call me a felching horse and have me arrested for streaking!

So, Santa...here I sit in my jail cell on Christmas Eve, all wanking and shooting. And I'm really not to blame for any of this cuming stuff. Please bring me what I want the most---bail money!

Sincerely and poo yours,
macca (Really a nice boy!)

P.S. It's only 366 bucks!

Phoenix Fly - High performance wingsuits for skydiving and BASE
Performance Designs - Simply brilliant canopies

[weegegirl 2]

ha ha ha... i'll play.... but i didn't really write this... i swear!

Dear Santa,

I have been a good girl.

It really wasn't my fault what happened at Hooligan's Christmas party. It was Studious Minimus Expiloto Rodriguez who spiked the punch with too much Tequilla. I can't help it if I drank 23 glasses. It was so good---smelled and tasted just like Morning Breath.

I thought it was funny when I put Rex's scarf on my head and danced the Chicken Dance on the dz couch while singing `Hey Yah'. I didn't mean to break Hooligan's car door unlocker and don't know why Hooligan would sue me for cloud-punching.

I don't remember calling Big John's wife a goofy giraffe---even though she looked like one with sporto-orange eye shadow and purple lipstick!

And when I threw up on Barb Poore's husband's elbow, it was only because I ate too much of that twinkie.

After all that fun, I admit I was a little tired. So I fell asleep on my way home and drove my dz jeep through my neighbor's roof. I don't think that was any reason for my neighbor to call me a drunk monkey and have me arrested for smokin dope!

So, Santa...here I sit in my jail cell on Christmas Eve, all zoomy and funky. And I'm really not to blame for any of this punk stuff. Please bring me what I want the most---bail money!

Sincerely and scandolously yours,
Weegegirl (Really a nice girl!)

P.S. It's only 2 bucks!

[WrongWay 0]

Dear Santa,

I have been a good boy.

It really wasn't my fault what happened at Paige's Christmas party. It was Che who spiked the punch with too much Rolling Rock. I can't help it if I drank 8 glasses. It was so good---smelled and tasted just like orange.

I thought it was funny when I put Mr. Hankey's shirt on my head and danced the salsa on the couch while singing `Numb'. I didn't mean to break Paige's CD Player and don't know why Paige would sue me for Indecent Exposure.

I don't remember calling Jeff's wife a dirty sheep---even though she looked like one with blue eye shadow and black lipstick!

And when I threw up on Betsy's husband's ass, it was only because I ate too much of that pizza.

After all that fun, I admit I was a little tired. So I fell asleep on my way home and drove my jeep through my neighbor's dining room. I don't think that was any reason for my neighbor to call me a retarded dingo and have me arrested for Murder!

So, Santa...here I sit in my jail cell on Christmas Eve, all happy and nasty smelling. And I'm really not to blame for any of this stupid stuff. Please bring me what I want the most---bail money!

Sincerely and quickly yours,
Wrong Way (Really a nice boy!)

P.S. It's only 21 bucks!

Wrong Way
D #27371 Mal Manera Rodriguez Cajun Chicken Ø Hellfish #451
The wiser wolf prevails.

[Paige 0]

I would have to say that the second paragraph came out the best! Here it is...

Dear Santa,

I have been a good Girl.

It really wasn't my fault what happened at Pete's Christmas party. It was WrongWay who spiked the punch with too much Vodka. I can't help it if I drank 11 glasses. It was so good---smelled and tasted just like Vanilla.

I thought it was funny when I put Eric's G String on my head and danced the Horizontal Mombo on the Squeeky Bed while singing `I'm a slave for you'. I didn't mean to break Pete's Vibrator and don't know why Pete would sue me for Public Indecency.

I don't remember calling Bob's wife a Hillarious Horse---even though she looked like one with Blue eye shadow and Purple lipstick!

And when I threw up on Robin's husband's Back, it was only because I ate too much of that Pizza.

After all that fun, I admit I was a little tired. So I fell asleep on my way home and drove my Benz through my neighbor's Bedroom. I don't think that was any reason for my neighbor to call me a Sexy Dog and have me arrested for Arson!

So, Santa...here I sit in my jail cell on Christmas Eve, all Smart and Sultry. And I'm really not to blame for any of this Seductive stuff. Please bring me what I want the most---bail money!

Sincerely and Jumps yours,
Paige (Really a nice Girl!)

P.S. It's only 9 bucks!

Tunnel Pink Mafia Delegate
www.TunnelPinkMafia.com