Luv2Fall 0 #1 December 4, 2003 This is a story about a couple who had been happily married for years. The only friction in their marriage was the husband's habit of farting loudly every morning when he awoke. The noise would wake his wife and the smell would make her eyes water and make her gasp for air. Every morning she would plead with him to stop ripping them off because it was making her sick. He told her he couldn't stop it and that it was perfectly natural. She told him to see a doctor; she was concerned that one day he would blow his guts out. The years went by and he continued to rip them out! Then one Thanksgiving morning as she was preparing the turkey for dinner and he was upstairs sound asleep, she looked at the bowl where she had put the turkey innards and neck, gizzard, liver and all the spare parts and a malicious thought came to her. She took the bowl and went upstairs where her husband was sound asleep and, gently pulling back the bed covers, she pulled back the elastic waistband of his underpants and emptied the bowl of turkey guts into his shorts. Some time later she heard her husband waken with his usual trumpeting which was followed by a blood curdling scream and the sound of frantic footsteps as he ran into the bathroom. The wife could hardly control herself as she rolled on the floor laughing, tears in her eyes! After years of torture she reckoned she had got him back pretty good. About twenty minutes later, her husband came downstairs in his bloodstained underpants with a look of horror on his face. She bit her lip as she asked him what was the matter. He said, "Honey, you were right. All these years you have warned me and I didn't listen to you." "What do you mean?" asked his wife. "Well, you always told me that one day I would end up farting my guts out, and today it finally happened. But by the grace of God, some Vaseline, and these two fingers, I think I got most of them back in." Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
turtlespeed 226 #2 December 4, 2003 I saw it ending another way: This is a story about a couple who had been happily married for years. The only friction in their marriage was the husband's habit of farting loudly every morning when he awoke. The noise would wake his wife and the smell would make her eyes water and make her gasp for air. Every morning she would plead with him to stop ripping them off because it was making her sick. He told her he couldn't stop it and that it was perfectly natural. She told him to see a doctor; she was concerned that one day he would blow his guts out. The years went by and he continued to rip them out! And then one day he had to take a buisness trip, and wasn't there in the morning. She had to learn the truth one day? reply]I'm not usually into the whole 3-way thing, but you got me a little excited with that. - Skymama BTR #1 / OTB^5 Official #2 / Hellfish #408 / VSCR #108/Tortuga/Orfun Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
happythoughts 0 #3 December 4, 2003 Women don't fart. "That was the dog, darn it!" Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Yoshi 0 #4 December 4, 2003 women dont fart...thy bitch...if they didnt bitch they would blow up_________________________________________ this space for rent. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
happythoughts 0 #5 December 4, 2003 That is my theory on Oprah. She's holdin' it in. Hate to be in the audience on that day... Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Cornholio 0 #6 December 4, 2003 QuoteThe years went by and he continued to rip them out! And then one day he had to take a buisness trip, and wasn't there in the morning. She had to learn the truth one day? I don't get it. Did you forget to tell the rest ? WHO wasn't there in the morning ? And this is funny why ? Butthead: Whoa! Burritos for breakfast! Beavis: Yeah! Yeah! Cool! bellyflier on the dz.com hybrid record jump Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
turtlespeed 226 #7 December 4, 2003 QuoteQuoteThe years went by and he continued to rip them out! And then one day he had to take a buisness trip, and wasn't there in the morning. She had to learn the truth one day? I don't get it. Did you forget to tell the rest ? WHO wasn't there in the morning ? And this is funny why ? It was irony, I didn't say it was funny. He = the husband, the one accused of farting.I'm not usually into the whole 3-way thing, but you got me a little excited with that. - Skymama BTR #1 / OTB^5 Official #2 / Hellfish #408 / VSCR #108/Tortuga/Orfun Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
FliegendeWolf 0 #8 December 5, 2003 And you didn't get my Dunkin' Donuts joke? A One that Isn't Cold is Scarcely a One at All Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
