When life seems at its darkest.

[Muenkel 0]

I think the past 3 1/2 months have been the worst in my life. When it feels like I can take no more, it continues. I don't know how much longer this will go on as not one doctor can give me an answer.

I come to the forums for laughs and education. At times I ask myself "why bother, you can't jump right now?".

I wonder how people who are permanently disabled deal with it. I don't even have the guts to deal with it temporarily.

I'm hoping the phrase "It's always darkest before the dawn" is true.

Just needed to vent folks. Thanks for listening.

Blue skies and be safe everyone,
Chris

_________________________________________
Chris

[skybytch 273]

Quote

I don't even have the guts to deal with it temporarily.

Sure you do. You've been dealing with it for the past three and a half months. You'll deal with it for as long as you need to.

My mom's words - "God never gives you more than you can handle." You may think you can't handle it, but you can. You will. And you are.

Focus on the things you can do right now. And stay positive that this is only temporary.

[MarkF 0]

I've got a permanent disability that in the grand scheme of things is trivial - Polio affected right leg which has resulted in a rooted lower back and arthritic lumbar and hip joints from a 5cm leg length difference, a 70% strength difference and very uneven gait.

What can ya do but suck it up and get on with life. Whenever I get frustrated and down about not being able to do something I remember the Arlo Guthrie line "What about the last guy". The context was that there is always someone worse off.


Just be thankfull that you're not allergic to beer. Well not decent beer anyway...
Ooroo
Mark F...

[Faber 0]

Dude,i feel whith you...
i have just taken such a trip for 8,5month.. if you belive in it and want to,then you gonna get up againjust stay strong..
each time you has a down,then rember there are a up side just around the corner...

Stay safe
Stefan Faber

[BETO74 0]

I never been in your situation but I know the feeling Hang in there it will pass. The sky will be waiting for you in case you want to come back.

http://web.mac.com/ac057a/iWeb/AC057A/H0M3.html

[McDuck 0]

I don't want to be one of those people who seems to be going through a whole litany of lame "look at what's happened to me my whole life" issues...I was just born that way, I guess.

From cracking my skull as a teenager, a less than ideal upbringing that led me to run away many times, through marriage for all the wrong reasons and subsequent divorce, to moving my entire life to the opposite coast in hopes of starting over, only to find that promised career opportunities had dried up, I've learned that everything has a reason.

I never would have met the love of my life and found my skydiving family if not for the path my life has led me down. Something big is on the horizon...for me too, my friend. I can feel it.

Kevin - Sonic Beef #5 - OrFun #28
"I never take myself too seriously, 'cuz everybody know fat birds don't fly." - FLC
Online communities: proof that people never mature much past high school.

[sunshine 2]

I know it's hard right now, but you have great friends here that will help you in whatever way we can. You're not alone in this buddy. Call me anytime you need someone to talk to.

___________________________________________
meow

I get a Mike hug! I get a Mike hug!

[KolibrieLinda 0]

ISn't there some old very cliche saying witch might apply for this??

What doesn't kill you makes you stronger.

Good luck to you

[jceman 1]

You're just saying that because I picked on you yesterday, right?

All I can say to that is "Tough titty!"

Seriously, Chris, I do sympathize with you -- I suffered a closed head injury my freshman year at college and it took a long time to fully recover; had all sorts of tests done, no conclusions ever reached. (Before any members of the peanut gallery say something smart, I was just as warped before.)

All I can say is hang in there and give yourself time but don't feel like you're "bothering" the medics by seeking help when things seem weirder than usual; only you know what is normal to you.

Just think of this as another way of loading your experience bucket with exotic shiny things.



I may be going to Hell in a bucket, but at least I'm enjoying the ride!

[hooked 0]

Things will get better for you Chris. In the meantime.....enjoy the laughs and education here on the forums.

You DO have the guts to handle it, you're already handling it and you will continue to handle it until you're better, okay? Seriously, you're doing a great job, just hang in there and slowly, things will get better for you.

Jan

--------------------------------------
Sometimes we're just being Humans.....But we're always Human Beings.

[pleifer 0]

Quote

I come to the forums for laughs and education. At times I ask myself "why bother, you can't jump right now?".

because this sight is more than just active skydivers. it is for anyone who has a love for the sport. just because you are not jumping right now does not mean you cannot contribute to others, here or on the dz. hang in there, we all know what you are gong through, I think we all are addicted. later bro, hang in there it always is the darkest before it is the brightest

_________________________________________
The Angel of Duh has spoke

[TheAnvil 0]

Hang in there dude. Behind every cloud is a silver lining.

Plus, it could always be worse, my brother conservative - you could be a democrat!


(No offense to you lefties out there; I'm trying to cheer up Chris)

Vinny the Anvil
Post Traumatic Didn't Make The Lakers Syndrome is REAL
JACKASS POWER!!!!!!

[Paige 0]

I was in a bad funk, not physically injured but none the less, I was a mess. My life was spiraling down, down, down, down and just when I didn't think I could fall futher, I managed to do so. It was a while before I realized that I was the one making the choice of being sad and down. Sure brain chemicals this and that but ultimately I was sitting at home instead of out at the bars with my friends, etc.

Finally, I made the choice to see whatever good can be found in a situation. Say for instance, having to work from 7am-8am teaching tennis all day, out in the burning hot sun of the summer, for hours at a time, tolerating little brats and their parents who think they are good tennis players.

Not much positive except for the fact that at the end of the summer, those little brats and their parents could play tennis. That was because of the coaching I gave them and the bullshit I tolerated. I was amazed at their improvement during their last clinic and realized that I played a big role in improving someone's life. Tennis isn't just fun for most adults, its their time away from spouses, kids, stress.
Despite them being a pain in the ass, most of my students ended up giving me gifts on top of the pay owed.

I would have to say that eventually it will come to an end. Realize that no matter how shitty things are now, THEY WILL GET BETTER. I can promise you that! I went through a bad bad break up right before I gave up on love. When I stopped caring or looking, I found someone that truely cared.

Go with the flow and know things will improve. I am sure you will be in the sky in no time. I'm unsure of your injuries but hope that you recover quickly

Tunnel Pink Mafia Delegate
www.TunnelPinkMafia.com

[Jayruss 0]

Quote

I come to the forums for laughs and education. At times I ask myself "why bother, you can't jump right now?".

Chris

I TOTALLY understand how you feel!!! I've been down for 16 1/2 months and hate nearly every minute of it. Some days I can't even read the forums, especially on Fridays. I wish I had an answer for you

At least know the misery has company.

__________________________________________________
"Beware how you take away hope from another human being."
-Oliver Wendell Holmes

[McDuck 0]

Look, once your ass is back in the saddle, we newborn skydivers will most likely not be able to keep up, and WE'LL feel like the injured ones. Plan your dives well, weed-leaper, for when you are stupid enough to carry boiling pot with your bare hands, you must go...and jump again.

Kevin - Sonic Beef #5 - OrFun #28
"I never take myself too seriously, 'cuz everybody know fat birds don't fly." - FLC
Online communities: proof that people never mature much past high school.

[Lee03 0]

Chris,

Hang in there. Why bother to continue to come here? Simple.. because you have allot of friends here. Friends close enough that they're almost family to you. People that give a DAMN about you! That's why!

don't go with this "I don't have the guts to handle it temporarily!" You've handled it for three and 1/2 months! It's only temporary.. you will recover so concrentrate on that. Hell, your going to be in Florida while most everyone else will be freezing their asses off! Enjoy it.. get around and see things..meet people.. have a good time.. do things! yeah.. yo9u got dealt a pretty shitty hand on this round..but the next hand is coming.. you might just get a full house or 4 aces on the next hand!

--------
To put your life in danger from time to time ... breeds a saneness in dealing with day-to-day trivialities.

--Nevil Shute, Slide Rule

[cindee 0]

Hi Chris,

I know exactly what you are going through. Well, not exactly, as my injury is different than yours, but I have many of the same feelings. Just keep remembering the word "temporary" as that will help to get you through. I just dipped into the world of skydiving and then it was over. I wonder at times if I will have the guts to do it again once I've healed.
If you ever want to vent, pm me. I know I feel guilty about complaining at times because there are people out there who are much worse and their problems are not temporary, but it would be great to vent with someone in the same situation.

Hang in there!

__________________________________________________
"If happy little bluebirds fly above the rainbow, why oh why can't I?"

[n2skdvn 0]

Chris dude ya have us thats why you keep comming back. michele clay ect. you are family sou you cant give up that quick. get better and get back to jumping soon we luv ya dude!!!

if my calculations are correct SLINKY + ESCULATOR = EVERLASTING FUN
my site

[kpjumps 0]

Well, I have always had my health, so I won't even pretend to know what you are going through. Many have already told you that someone else has it worse and keep that in mind, it is true. That doesn't diminish what you are going through now. But I did find myself in a situation one time that I wasn't sure if I was gonna make it through. Knowing my life was in the hands of another was undescribably scary. Lean on others, those that care about you want to help. That was the hardest for me, I crawled into bed and didn't get out for three weeks. (well, I took showers, drank water and went back to bed, got hungry enough on the third day to eat every couple of days) I think letting myself wallow and feel sorry for myself helped, I just took it to an extreme. So let yourself wallow for a bit, let others help a bit, find someone in a worse situation than you and help them a bit, and daydream about your next skydive a bit...Then pat yourself on the back for coping with it this long and accept that sometimes bad things happen to good people. And play the best you can with the hand you are delt...

Hugs and prayers to you~

Your character will ultimately determine your destiny.

[skydiverbrian 0]

In a world full of people, only some want to fly... isn't that crazy! --Seal

[billymotox 0]

bro, i dont know your condition, but i wish 4 u the best. 4 years ago i crashed my dirtbike hard. from this wreck i now have chronic supraspinatus tendonitis in my left shoulder, an 80% tear in my right shoulder, broken collarbone & chronic cervical and thoracic strain. also i knocked out 10 teeth and broke a $500 helmet and about $600 damage to my favorite toy. when i see doctors they always freak. i guess they are not used to 34 year olds with arthritis like an 80 year old. i am just grateful that i can still do the things i love, even if i have to suffer a little. anyway, i hope u can return to the sky soon, just make sure u are ready. prayers and ((((((((((VIBES)))))))))) to you.

billy d------------------------- "Escape may be checked by water and land, but the air and the sky are free." (from the story of Daedalus and Icarus)

[freeflir29 0]

Dude....don't feel too bad. I'm perfectly healthy but find myself asking "WHY" a lot lately. Why go through the struggle to have a "Normal" life. I guess I just feel like I have been digging a hole for myself so far. Maybe like I'm treading water and no matter how many HUGE gains I make I'm still just keeping my nose above the water line. I keep thinking I should move over seas and become a War Lord. Then when people piss me off....at least I can shoot them. Oh well.....wether you like it or not the sun WILL come up tomorrow. *Shrug*

[airsaint 0]

What happend to you and how long is the recovery period?

[Muenkel 0]

Quote

What happend to you and how long is the recovery period?

Fell down a flight of stairs and landed on my head on a concrete floor. No doctor can tell me how long the recovery period will be. It's one of those things where you take 3 steps forward and 2 steps back.

To all you other peeps, you're all awesome. Thanks for the great replies. I know there are a lot worse things I could be dealing with. I hate being a victim and I hate self pity. This period of time has challenged me in those areas. But, I still hate them and they're not going to consume me.

To anyone out there who is going through their own shit, if you feel like it, pm me. I'm a great listener and sometimes I give pretty good advice.

Blue skies and be safe everyone,
Chris

_________________________________________
Chris

[WrongWay 0]

Hey man, you've been through a lot, I know. But you have to know that you're strong enough to get through it without a problem. How do I know this? It's not because I've talked to you and I see your strength in your posts. It's not because you've actually given your strength to me in my own times of need. It's because you've been able to handle it every day up till today. Just take it day by day thinking "Before too long, I'm gonna be jumping....". Don't get down on yourself, this is only a temporary problem that you CAN handle.

If you need to talk, PM me bro.

And remember, SMILE, not too long now and these doc's will say "get your ass in that plane".

Wrong Way
D #27371 Mal Manera Rodriguez Cajun Chicken Ø Hellfish #451
The wiser wolf prevails.