thechad 0 #1 November 21, 2003 Need something to make me laugh at work.The Chad Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
velo90 0 #2 November 21, 2003 WHEN I was 14, I hoped that one day I would have a girlfriend. When I was 16 I got a girlfriend, but there was no passion. So I decided I needed a passionate girl with a zest for life. In college I dated a passionate girl, but she was too emotional. Everything was an emergency, she was a drama queen, cried all the time and threatened suicide. So I decided I needed a girl with stability. When I was 25 I found a very stable girl but she was boring. She was totally predictable and never got excited about anything. Life became so dull that I decided I needed a girl with some excitement. When I was 28 I found an exciting girl, but I couldn't keep up with her. She rushed from one thing to another, never settling on anything. She did mad impetuous things and flirted with everyone she met. She made me miserable as often as happy. She was great fun initially and very energetic, but directionless. So I decided to find a girl with some ambition. When I turned 30, I found a smart ambitious girl with her feet planted firmly on the ground and married her. She was so ambitious that she divorced me and took everything I owned. Now I'm 32 and am looking for a girl with really big boobs. Edited to add: It's really a joke for CrazyIvan, but never mind Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
katiebear21 0 #3 November 21, 2003 That was funny. Katie Get your PMS glass necklace here Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Aromain 0 #4 November 21, 2003 funny enough http://content.collegehumor.com/pictures/pic00009.jpg------------------------------------------------ "Matter fact go and get your chrome, cause I'd rather be, broke thogether, then rich alone." Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
CrazyIvan 0 #6 November 21, 2003 Hey Velo...I didn't know I had a 'biographer' __________________________________________ Blue Skies and May the Force be with you. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
jumperconway 0 #7 November 21, 2003 An ugly man walks into his local pub with a big grin on his face. "What are you so happy about?" asks the barman. "Well, I'll tell you." replies the ugly man. "You know, I live by the railway. Well, on my way home last night, I noticed a young woman tied to thetracks, like in the films. I, of course, went and cut her free and took her back to my place. Anyway, to make a long story short, I scored big time! We made love all night, all over the house. We did everything, me on top, sometimes her on top, every position imaginable!" Fantastic!" exclaimed the barman. "You lucky bastard. Was she pretty?" "I dunno... never found the head!" Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
CrazyIvan 0 #8 November 21, 2003 BBWWAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA__________________________________________ Blue Skies and May the Force be with you. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
thechad 0 #9 November 21, 2003 That is wrong but very funny!The Chad Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
turtlespeed 220 #10 November 21, 2003 UGH, nasty!!!I'm not usually into the whole 3-way thing, but you got me a little excited with that. - Skymama BTR #1 / OTB^5 Official #2 / Hellfish #408 / VSCR #108/Tortuga/Orfun Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
PLFKING 4 #11 November 21, 2003 Got this today....had to share it. A construction worker on the 3rd floor of a building needs a handsaw so he sees another man on the 1st floor. He yells down to him, but he can't hear, so he does sign language. He points at his eye meaning "I", points at his knee meaning "need", and moves his hand back and forth in a handsaw motion. The man on the 1st floor nods his head, pulls down his pants, and starts masturbating. The man on the 3rd floor gets so angry he runs down to the 1st floor and says, "What the hell is wrong with you dumbass? I said I need a handsaw!!" The other guy says, "I knew that, I was just trying to tell you I'm coming." Don"When in doubt I whip it out, I got me a rock-and-roll band. It's a free-for-all." Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
thechad 0 #12 November 21, 2003 Very nice! The Chad Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Shell666 0 #13 November 21, 2003 QuoteNeed something to make me laugh at work. > > > On hearing that her elderly grandfather had just > > > passed away, Katie went straight to her grandparent's > > > house to visit her 95 year old > > > grandmother to comfort her. When she asked > > > how her grandfather had died, her grandmother > > > replied, "He had a heart attack while we were making > > > love on Sunday morning." > > > > > > Horrified, Katie told her grandmother that 2 people > > > nearly 100 years old having sex would surely be > > > asking for trouble. > > > > > > > "Oh no, my dear, " replied granny. "Many years ago, > > > >realizing our advanced age, we figured out the best > > > time to do it was when the church bells would > > > start to ring. It was just the right rhythm. > > > >Nice and slow and even. Nothing too strenuous, simply > > > in on the Ding and out on the Dong." > > > She paused, wiped away a tear and then continued, "and > > > if that damned ice cream truck hadn't come along, > > > he'd still be alive today!" 'Shell'Shell Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
CrazyIvan 0 #14 November 21, 2003 BBWWWAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAAHA__________________________________________ Blue Skies and May the Force be with you. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Casie 0 #15 November 21, 2003 ~Porn Kitty WARNING: Goldschlager causes extreme emotional outbursts! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
taln1rigr 0 #16 November 21, 2003 Celibacy can be a choice in life, or a condition imposed by environmental encounters. While attending a Marriage Encounter Weekend, Walter and his wife Peg, listened to the instructor declare, "It is essential that husbands and wives know the things that are important to each other." He addressed the men, "Can you name and describe your wife's favorite flower?" Walter leaned over, touched Peg's arm gently and whispered, "Pillsbury All-Purpose, isn't it?" And thus began Walter's life of celibacy. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
taln1rigr 0 #17 November 21, 2003 The Ten Commandments display was recently removed from the Alabama Supreme Court building. There was a good reason for the move. You can't post: Thou Shalt Not Steal, Thou Shalt Not Commit Adultery, and Thou Shall Not Lie, in a building full of lawyers and Politicians without creating a hostile work environment. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
turtlespeed 220 #18 November 21, 2003 yep.I'm not usually into the whole 3-way thing, but you got me a little excited with that. - Skymama BTR #1 / OTB^5 Official #2 / Hellfish #408 / VSCR #108/Tortuga/Orfun Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
taln1rigr 0 #19 November 21, 2003 A little boy walks into his parents' room to see his mom on top of his dad bouncing up and down. The mom sees her son and quickly dismounts, worried about what her son has seen. She dresses quickly and goes to find him. The son sees his mom and asks, "What were you and Dad doing?" The mother replies, "Well you know your dad has a big tummy and sometimes I have to get on top of it to help flatten it." "You're wasting your time," said the boy. "Why is that?" asked his mom, puzzled. "Well when you go shopping the lady next door comes over and gets on her knees and blows it right back up." Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Brains 2 #20 November 21, 2003 Quoteyep. Is that what happened to you turtle? Shouldn't you be jumping right about now anyway?? Never look down on someone, unless they are going down on you. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
taln1rigr 0 #21 November 21, 2003 How about Friday Scary? **NSFW** Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Brains 2 #22 November 21, 2003 QuoteHow about Friday Scary? **NSFW** HOLY CRAP! Never look down on someone, unless they are going down on you. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
CrazyIvan 0 #23 November 21, 2003 MY EYES!!! MY EYES!!! AAAAAAHHHHHHHHH __________________________________________ Blue Skies and May the Force be with you. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
jumperconway 0 #24 November 21, 2003 Tainted for the whole weekend now Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
freeflir29 0 #25 November 21, 2003 QuoteWalter leaned over, touched Peg's arm gently and whispered, "Pillsbury All-Purpose, isn't it?" I don't get it??? Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
