Monday funny - canabals and fruit

[goose491 0]

John, David and Frank who were lost in the forest were captured by cannibals. The cannibal king told the prisoners that they could live if they passed a trial. The first step of the trial was to go to the forest and get ten pieces of the same kind of fruit. All three men went their separate ways to gather the fruit. John came back and said to the king, "I brought ten apples". The king explained the trial to him, "you have to shove the fruit up your butt without any expression on your face, or you'll be eaten." The first apple went in... But on the second one he winced out in pain, so he was killed. David arrived and Showed the king ten berries. When the king explained the trial to him hethought to himself that this should be easy. 1...2...3...4...5...6...7...8... And on the ninth berry he burst into laughter and was killed. John and David met in heaven. John asked, "why did you laugh, you almost got away with it!" David replied, "I couldn't help it, I looked up and saw Frank coming back with pineapples."

My Karma ran over my Dogma!!!

[Tonto 1]

BWHHHHAaaaaaa!

Now I need to clean a chicken chilli sandwich off my keyboard!

t

It's the year of the Pig.

[kai2k1 0]

LMAO!! that ones pretty good

There's no truer sense of flying than sky diving," Scott Cowan

[CrazyIvan 0]

__________________________________________
Blue Skies and May the Force be with you.

[Casie 0]

LOL

~Porn Kitty
WARNING: Goldschlager causes extreme emotional outbursts!

[goose491 0]

-Read before opening attachment-

Yesterday I was having some work done at the Ford dealer. A woman came in and asked for a seven-hundred-ten.

We all looked at each other, and the mechanic asked, "What is a seven-hundred-ten?" She replied, "You know, the little piece in the middle of the engine. I lost it and need a new one. It had always been there."

The mechanic gave the woman a piece of paper and a pen and asked her to draw what the piece looked like. She drew a circle and in the middle of it wrote 710.

He then took her over to another car which had the hood up and asked, "Is there a 710 on this car ?"

She pointed and said, "Of course, its right there."

Now open the photo to learn what a 710 is

My Karma ran over my Dogma!!!

[Hazarrd 1]

hahaha, both funny jokes....very good.

.-.

[Sheenster303 0]

HA! Those made my Monday! Thanks!

I'm so funny I crack my head open!

P.M.S. #102

[TaeKwonDoDo 0]

A woman awakes during the night to find that her husband is not in bed. She puts on her robe and goes downstairs to look for him.

She finds him sitting at the kitchen table with a large tumbler of scotch in front of him. He appears to be in deep thought, just staring at the wall.

She watches as he wipes a tear from his eye and takes a sip of his drink.

"What's the matter, dear?", she whispers as she steps into the room, "Why are you down here at this time of night?"

The husband looks up from his drink, "Do you remember 20 years ago when we were dating, and you were only 16?" he asks solemnly.

"Yes I do" she replies.

The husband paused. The words were not coming easily. "Do you remember when your father, the cop, caught us in the back seat of my car making love?"

"Yes, I remember". said the wife, lowering herself into a chair beside him.

The husband continued, "Do you remember when he shoved the shotgun in my face and said, 'either you
marry my daughter, or I'll send you to jail for 20 years?"

"I remember that too", she replied softly.
...
...
...
...
...
He wiped another tear from his cheek and said... "I would have gotten out today."



- Jeff

"That's not flying, it's falling with style."

[goose491 0]

Bwahaahaaa! Sending that one to the GF for sure!


Here are some for the holliday season, enjoy:

My Karma ran over my Dogma!!!

[goose491 0]

...and some more:

My Karma ran over my Dogma!!!

[Lee03 0]

DOH!!!! ROTFLMRFAO!!!!

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To put your life in danger from time to time ... breeds a saneness in dealing with day-to-day trivialities.

--Nevil Shute, Slide Rule