Casie 0 #1 October 31, 2003 I'm almost certain everyone has seen this but I thought it was appropriate! An extremely modest man was in the hospital for a series of tests, the last of which had left his bodily systems extremely upset. Upon making several false alarm trips to the bathroom, he decided the latest episode was another and stayed put. He suddenly filled his bed with diarrhea and was embarrassed beyond his ability to remain rational. In a complete loss of composure he jumped out of bed, gathered up the bed sheets, and threw them out the hospital window. A drunk was walking by the hospital when the sheets landed on him. He started yelling, cursing, and swinging his arms violently trying to get the unknown things off, and ended up with the soiled sheets in a tangled pile at his feet. As the drunk stood there, unsteady on his feet, staring down at the sheets, a hospital security guard (barely containing his laughter) who had watched the whole incident walked up and asked, "What the heck is going on here?" The drunk, still staring down replied: "I think I just beat the shit out of a ghost" Happy Halloween~Porn Kitty WARNING: Goldschlager causes extreme emotional outbursts! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Brains 2 #2 October 31, 2003 I think you just found your halloween costume for the party tomorrow Never look down on someone, unless they are going down on you. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Casie 0 #3 October 31, 2003 Uuummm, EEEEEEWWWWWWW!~Porn Kitty WARNING: Goldschlager causes extreme emotional outbursts! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Casie 0 #4 October 31, 2003 Oldie but Goodie!~Porn Kitty WARNING: Goldschlager causes extreme emotional outbursts! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
FliegendeWolf 0 #5 October 31, 2003 Really gives new meaning to the phrase, "puking one's guts out," doesn't it? A One that Isn't Cold is Scarcely a One at All Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Casie 0 #6 October 31, 2003 Cat Bowling http://www.bravozulu.com/content/released/cat.swf~Porn Kitty WARNING: Goldschlager causes extreme emotional outbursts! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Casie 0 #7 October 31, 2003 PROOF THAT THE WORLD IS NUTS! In Lebanon, men are legally allowed to have sex with animals, but the animals must be female. Having sexual relations with a male animal is punishable by death. (Like THAT makes sense.) *~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~* In Bahrain, a male doctor may legally examine a woman's genitals, but is prohibited from looking directly at them during the examination. He may only see their reflection in a mirror. (Do they look different reversed?) *~*~**~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~* Muslims are banned from looking at the genitals of a corpse. This also applies to undertakers; the sex organs of the deceased must be covered with a brick or piece of wood at all times. (A brick??) *~*~**~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~* The penalty for masturbation in Indonesia is decapitation. (Much worse than "going blind!") *~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~* There are men in Guam whose full-time job is to travel the countryside and deflower young virgins, who pay them for the privilege of having sex for the first time...Reason: under Guam law, it is expressly forbidden for virgins to marry. (Let's just think for a minute; is there any job anywhere else in the world that even comes close to this?) *~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~* In Hong Kong, a betrayed wife is legally allowed to kill her adulterous husband, but may only do so with her bare hands. The husband's lover, on the other hand, may be killed in any manner desired. (Ah! Justice!) *~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~* Topless saleswomen are legal in Liverpool, England -but only in tropical fish stores. (But of course!) *~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*! ~*~*~*~*~*~* In Cali, Colombia, a woman may only have sex with her husband, and the first time this happens, her mother must be in the room to witness the act. (Makes one shudder at the thought.) *~*~*~*~**~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~**~*~* In Santa Cruz, Bolivia, it is illegal for a man to have sex with a woman and her daughter at the same time. (I presume this was a big enough problem that they had to pass this law?) *~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~* In Maryland, it is illegal to sell condoms from vending machines with one exception: prophylactics may be dispensed from a vending machine only "in places where alcoholic beverages are sold for consumption on the premises." (Is this a great country or what? Not as great as Guam!) *~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~* Banging your head against a wall uses 150 calories an hour. (Who volunteers for this stuff?) *~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*! ~*~*~*~*~*~*~* Humans and dolphins are the only species that have sex for pleasure. (Is that why Flipper was always smiling?) *~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~* The strongest muscle in the body is the tongue. (Hummm..! ..I won't touch THAT one!) *~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~* The ant can lift 50 times its own weight, can pull 30 times its own weight and always falls over on its right side when intoxicated. (From drinking little bottles of...? -- did the govt. pay for this research??) *~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~* Butterflies taste with their feet. (Ah, geez) *~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~* An ostrich's eye is bigger than it's brain. (I know some people like that.) *~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~* Starfish don't have brains. (I know some people like that! too) *~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~* And, the best for last..... Turtles can breathe through their butts. (Do you think they have bad breath?)~Porn Kitty WARNING: Goldschlager causes extreme emotional outbursts! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Viking 0 #8 October 31, 2003 LOLI swear you must have footprints on the back of your helmet - chicagoskydiver My God has a bigger dick than your god -George Carlin Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
CrazyIvan 0 #9 October 31, 2003 This thread way doing fine.....up until now __________________________________________ Blue Skies and May the Force be with you. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Casie 0 #10 October 31, 2003 ~Porn Kitty WARNING: Goldschlager causes extreme emotional outbursts! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
marcandalysse 0 #11 October 31, 2003 and they say that 'killing kittens' makes you lose your memory.. "The reason angels can fly is that they take themselves so lightly." --GK Chesterton Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
CrazyIvan 0 #12 October 31, 2003 Quoteand they say that 'killing kittens' makes you lose your memory.. That's an Urban Legend __________________________________________ Blue Skies and May the Force be with you. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
turtlespeed 226 #13 October 31, 2003 So now everyone is going to want me to prove it now! - THANKS! You try to have a little secret, but NO, NO you can't have one can you, it has to be plastered ALL OVER the net. THANKS AGAIN!I'm not usually into the whole 3-way thing, but you got me a little excited with that. - Skymama BTR #1 / OTB^5 Official #2 / Hellfish #408 / VSCR #108/Tortuga/Orfun Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
CrazyIvan 0 #14 October 31, 2003 Quote So now everyone is going to want me to prove it now! - THANKS! You try to have a little secret, but NO, NO you can't have one can you, it has to be plastered ALL OVER the net. THANKS AGAIN! OOOOOOPPS!!!!! __________________________________________ Blue Skies and May the Force be with you. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
FliegendeWolf 0 #15 October 31, 2003 Really? Didn't see a thing about it at Snopes! A One that Isn't Cold is Scarcely a One at All Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
