Should I press charges?

[mouth 0]

GRRRRRRRRR...today has sucked. Some days I simply HATE my job. As most of you know I teach in an inner city middle school (6-8). I also teach the remedial classes so I get lots of kids with lots of different problems. They are generally anti-social and don't get along well with others.

In my second class I have a new girl who has moved here and lives in a local group home. She has obviously been in trouble before or she wouldn't be here. The home will not tell me why she is there. They are not very supportive either. Today was only her second day in my class. When I tried to get her to pay attention and attempt to do the classwork she refused and was writing a note. I took the note and redirected her, but she again started writing a note and told me she didn't have to do what I said. I took the second note and she started a third.

At that point I figured we were at an impass so I told her to step outside the room. She grabbed her pencil and I asked her to leave it because the kids write on the walls and I just had mine cleaned. Well after three requests she turned around and flung it at me. It hit about 8 inches away from me. She then proceeded out the door slamming it with all her might...and bumped into the assistant principal.

Now I have to decide if I press charges or not. So what would you do?

And yes, I'm so ready for a beer. I now have my classroom door locked because she is absolutely CRAZY and having fits int he office.

--
Hot Mama
At least you know where you stand even if it is in a pile of shit.

[BBKid 0]

Just take out all the frustration on a pillow/cushion/kitten, then go out for many cool beers with some buddies. No-one would take you seriously in your job if they knew you had pressed charges against a kid for chucking a pencil.

I know this might sound like I'm criticising - honestly, I'm not, my Mum's just retired from working with deaf and special needs kids in a local school, so I know how hard it can be.

Nick
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"I've pierced my foot on a spike!!!"

[Viking 0]

hold on........you mean you didn't just backhand the little brat? wow i'm impressed lisa!

I don't think charges are worth the trouble yet. If she hits you then thats assualt and she deserves it.

teachers don't get payed enough for that shit.

I swear you must have footprints on the back of your helmet - chicagoskydiver
My God has a bigger dick than your god -George Carlin

[diverdriver 6]

Quote

hold on........you mean you didn't just backhand the little brat? wow i'm impressed lisa!

I don't think charges are worth the trouble yet. If she hits you then thats assualt and she deserves it.

teachers don't get payed enough for that shit.

They don't get payed enough to get threatened (thrown pencil).

Press charges. There are consequences for their actions.

[mouth 0]

Actually I didn't clarify. The AP has told me that is one of the courses of action and wanted to know what I thought. Honestly my gut instinct is to do as Viking said and backhand the chick and be done with it; however, I can't do that...not one of the options. Pressing charges will result in her getting sent from the group home where she has only been 2 days. Honestly I don't see that it will change her behavior if I do press charges so I don't see the point. She came in with an attitude and I seriously doubt she will make it a month here before getting sent off to juvenile detention because she doesn't deal well with authority figures.

Basically I just wanted to see if you guys agree with me about not pressing charges.

--
Hot Mama
At least you know where you stand even if it is in a pile of shit.

[Layton 0]

i have a friend that works with adolescents (spelling) in a treatment center and i do voulenteer work there myself.if she gets away with this what you are telling her is that is alright to throw pencils at you.what comes next a brick? kids need to learn that they are responsible for their actions.if you dont press charges maybe you should let her know that you could have and if she does that again in the future you will. and if she does it again then press charges.if your word isnt any good then you will continue to get run over.draw your line in the sand now.just my .02***if you are going to be stupid you better be tough

[Casie 0]

That's a tough one......................sorry you're having to go thru this I feel if she doesn't somehow get punished one way or the other, she'll keep doing it cause she knows she gets away with it.............good luck!

~Porn Kitty
WARNING: Goldschlager causes extreme emotional outbursts!

[BBKid 0]

Ah, fairy nuff. If it were up to me (the whole world that is), I would sanction backhanding obnoxious little brats as one of my first actions. Of course, nowadays if you even breathe near a kid they have you up in court for assault.

F***ers - I was never like that, and I'm only 22.

Nick
---------------------------
"I've pierced my foot on a spike!!!"

[WrongWay 0]

That's easy!! Just pull her aside and say something along the lines of "Look you little bitch, I jump out of airplanes, so clearly I'm not afraid of a pathetic little punk like you. I suggest you start listening to me before I offer to take you with me the next time I engage in my favorite hobby!!!!"

If that doesn't work, threaten to spread rumors around the school that she has an STD.....

Wrong Way
D #27371 Mal Manera Rodriguez Cajun Chicken Ø Hellfish #451
The wiser wolf prevails.

[bmcd308 0]

My former gf was a teacher in a horrible inner city school. I say you press charges, because she did not, and she wound up getting threatened with a lawsuit when it all got out of hand (long story) and had to stop teaching.

Brent

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www.jumpelvis.com

[CloudOnMyTongue 0]

I don't know why anyone thinks pressing charges against a kid will solve anything.

It's clear that the kid needs some attention, kids don't understand laws.

You're right mouth, there are other ways to teach her that throwing pencils isn't the correct way of dealing with confrontations.

[pds 0]

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Basically I just wanted to see if you guys agree with me about not pressing charges.

i agree wif mouf.

namaste, motherfucker.

[Vallerina 2]

Wow! I have absolutely no idea of what you should do! Much respect to you for not smacking her upside the head, though. You have much more patience than I could ever pretend to have.

There's a thin line between Saturday night and Sunday morning

[PLFKING 4]

I say press charges as well. 16 is old enough to know better -- and if she doesn't, it's high time she learned that negative acts result in negative actions.

And this isn't the first time something like this has happened....you're one of the toughest women I know, but you're small in stature -- what if next time she throws a knife, or it's a 17-year-old boy that out-weighs you by a hundred pounds ?

And while I'm on my soapbox, I personally think corporal punishment should be allowed back in the schools. If parents aren't going to discipline their kids, someone needs to.


Don

"When in doubt I whip it out,
I got me a rock-and-roll band.
It's a free-for-all."

[DJL 235]

Sounds like you didn't approach this very well. You know what kind of background these kids have and you should know that you can't give them the "no you can't" kind of treatment they've gotten their entire life. This kid has been standing up to every "no" she's gotten, what makes you think she'll listen to you?

My response, no don't press charges unless she does something that would land her in jail for a very long time. Also, make sure she doesn't have children.

"I encourage all awesome dangerous behavior." - Jeffro Fincher

[turtlespeed 221]

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Just take out all the frustration on a pillow/cushion/kitten, then go out for many cool beers with some buddies. No-one would take you seriously in your job if they knew you had pressed charges against a kid for chucking a pencil.

I know this might sound like I'm criticising - honestly, I'm not, my Mum's just retired from working with deaf and special needs kids in a local school, so I know how hard it can be.

So let me get this right. . . She threw a pencil at her, but because she missed, then she should be let to continue this w/out punishment until she gets better aim? Kinda spooky if you consider that she just might have access to a gun next time.

Deal with it fast, deal with it HARD, and make the impression on her that she cannot get away with that kind of Bull S**t, EVER!

I'm not usually into the whole 3-way thing, but you got me a little excited with that. - Skymama
BTR #1 / OTB^5 Official #2 / Hellfish #408 / VSCR #108/Tortuga/Orfun

[champu 1]

I agree, this individual is most likely going to continue testing every authority figure she encounters. I'm guessing it will get worse before it gets better if you don't do something about it as soon as you can.

If you do wish to try and talk it out with her before doing something along the lines of pressing charges, tell her the position you're in, tell her your options, and tell her why it's a difficult decision for you.

If at that point she's still apathetic, then screw it, hand her over to someone with less patience, and a greater array of punishments.

Man do we need yard sticks back in schools...

[weegegirl 2]

That's a tough one. Pressing charges would be like passing her off to the next person to see what THEY will do with her. It sounds like this poor kid has been passed around a lot. Remember, she's a kid - and for that matter - she's a product of someone else's assholeism. What are the other options? Can you make her join some sort of club - like a debate club or something - to learn how to deal with her anger issues? I feel horrible for you, but isn't that why people subject themselves to that environment? To help the kids in need? Good luck. You are a strong and patient person, I can tell.

[turtlespeed 221]

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That's a tough one. Pressing charges would be like passing her off to the next person to see what THEY will do with her. It sounds like this poor kid has been passed around a lot. Remember, she's a kid - and for that matter - she's a product of someone else's assholeism. What are the other options? Can you make her join some sort of club - like a debate club or something - to learn how to deal with her anger issues? I feel horrible for you, but isn't that why people subject themselves to that environment? To help the kids in need? Good luck. You are a strong and patient person, I can tell.

Quote

In my second class I have a new girl who has moved here and lives in a local group home. She has obviously been in trouble before or she wouldn't be here. The home will not tell me why she is there. They are not very supportive either.

Why won't they tell you anything? What do they have to hide? You would think they would be as supportive as they could to help fix what problems these kids have.

Sounds like she would be a perfect candidate for one of those boot camp programs.

I'm not usually into the whole 3-way thing, but you got me a little excited with that. - Skymama
BTR #1 / OTB^5 Official #2 / Hellfish #408 / VSCR #108/Tortuga/Orfun

[SkymonkeyONE 4]

Odd, we didn't have problems like that back when I was in school. If you acted up you were going to get your ass worn out with the paddle.....period. Likewise, if you showed your ass at home, your parents wore your butt out with a switch.

Fuck that "kindler and gentle" shit.

Chuck

[jfields 0]

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And while I'm on my soapbox, I personally think corporal punishment should be allowed back in the schools. If parents aren't going to discipline their kids, someone needs to.

Don,

I disagree with you. My wife is a teacher and she's had the urge to backhand kids, but she can't. Nor should she be allowed to under any circumstances. While it may do a lot of good to a lot of kids, in instilling discipline and respect they lack, leaving that judgement in the hands of teachers is a recipe for disaster.

Their judgement isn't perfect. What happens when some teacher slaps your kid, when it was another kid that was acting up behind him/her? Would you be okay with that? I wouldn't. Also, what is "acceptable" corporal punishment? Slapping? Pushing? Beating a kid bloody? Where and how do you draw a line? We aren't talking about self-defense here, but punishment. How would it vary in any way from "child abuse"?

I'm not saying kids can't be bratty/mischevious/criminal and deserve a whoopin'. But it isn't the teacher's place. Teachers should teach. Parents should parent. The failure of one doesn't mean the other must automatically fulfill both roles. They can't.

[coconutmonkey 0]

Lisa,
You know I feel your pain here. Never let an overt challenge to your authority in the classroom go unchecked. Especially when there were other students present. it sets a precedent for where the new boudaries of tolerable behavior are drawn for all involved and who witnessed/heard about it. I would press charges now before it becomes a real problem with her and any other students who may think they too could get away with such behavior. Tho some may favor the kidd glove aproach to these things, the all carrot and no cane atmosphere which is dominating popular culture right now doesn't work well. Deal with it now before some of us are forced to deal with it later with more dramatic result upon her life.

Hearts & Minds
2 to the Heart-
1 to the Mind-
Home of the Coconut Lounge, Spa, & Artillery Range

[jfields 0]

Chuck,

I didn't have those problems when I was in school either even though my teachers never laid a hand on me. They didn't have to. One note home and my parents would take care of it. And I have no objection to spanking/paddling or whatever if done by the parents. No yelling, screaming or paddling at school can make up for incompetant parenting. That is where the responsibility lies. The teachers can't force a kid to have good values. That must come from home.

[billvon 3,031]

>leaving that judgement in the hands of teachers is a recipe for disaster.

You would trust teachers to teach your kids, but not to discipline them? They seem equally important to me. I would be just as unhappy with a teacher who taught that the world is flat as I would be with a teacher who had kids running around the room screaming all day.

>Their judgement isn't perfect. What happens when some teacher
> slaps your kid, when it was another kid that was acting up behind
> him/her?

Same thing that happens when a kid acts up behind him/her and they get sent to detention. I would be amazed if there was anyone out there who had _not_ experienced this sort of unfairness as a kid. Just as kids have to learn that they can lie, be lied about, can get beat up, can beat up other kids - it's part of growing up.

>Also, what is "acceptable" corporal punishment? Slapping? Pushing?
>Beating a kid bloody? Where and how do you draw a line?

With common sense.

>How would it vary in any way from "child abuse"?

Again, common sense. Spanking a 4 year old because he played on a highway might just save his life. Breaking the pelvis of a 6 year old is abuse. Not hard for reasonable people to differentiate the two.

>But it isn't the teacher's place. Teachers should teach. Parents
> should parent.

And parents should teach, and teachers should discipline their classrooms. Saying that you should observe a narrow definition of roles is all well and good, but kids don't observe that definition.

[turtlespeed 221]

So, if I understand what you are saying, teaching should include ONLY academics. Respect is not an academic subject. it something that is taught though. You are oversimplifying. I agree that in some cases unjust sircumstances occur. But if the system wasn't as damn soft as it is now, perhaps Colombine wouldn't have happened.

Better yet, if stricter discipline in the schools were enforced today, maybe we wouldn't need chain linc around some teachers desks, and even better, our kids wouldn't have to walk through a F**king metal detector to get to class.

What does that say about the way that the system is run now? Our hands are tied so that we aren't allowed to deal out enough discipline and harsh enough punishments to keep shit like this this from being an issue? Not wanting to hurt someones feelings is not a good enough answer.

Everyone knows that life is not always fair. Look at the big picture though. You have to teach order and respect first. If they don't learn that, then all hope is lost.

I'm not usually into the whole 3-way thing, but you got me a little excited with that. - Skymama
BTR #1 / OTB^5 Official #2 / Hellfish #408 / VSCR #108/Tortuga/Orfun