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Keith

What are the requirements for being het?

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I still haven't figured out why the people on the QEFTSG show bother with it. As Rita Rudner put it, I live like a bear with furniture.

It seems funny that grown people will accept the idea that their taste is somehow defective because it does not coincide with this weeks fashion.

What if having 2 mismatched sofas in the living room is the new fashion in 2004 and I was just 3 years ahead? Am I a fashion prophet? Do I have a latent homo streak with a super-strong fashion sense?

I think I would fall back on my old social skill that I developed when Jehovahs Witness came to the door on Saturday morning at 8:00... hit play on the porn tape, offer them a beer. ;)

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Okay: Here are the requirements, which I take from watching a few episodes of "Queer Eye for the Straight Guy" with my lady.

1) Don't know how to style your hair.
2) Dont' know how to use skin care products
3) "The straight-guy speed shave"
4) Keep a messy pad
5) Have a low-interest paint job on the pad
6) Have old unkempt furniture
7) Have the occasional good piece of artwork
8) Wear comfortable clothes in conservative colors, fit and tones
9) Hate cher and techno music
10) Hate Barbara Streisand
11) Have no idea about modern music
12) Can't dance
13) Knows nothign about food preparation
14) Knows nothng about how to present food properly
15) Needs a lot of help with wine
16) Needs help with cultural events
17) Doesn't know how to impress a chick.

That's what I've learned identifies a straight man. Leave this whole digging chicks thing out of it.

And I'm only 13 percent gay!




Hey this sounds like the very popular " regular guy look" nothing to be ashamed of at all.

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I found out about 2 years ago that my father has been Bi his entire life. How's that for an eye opener?



Wow, several questions come to mind:



I'll answer as best I can.

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1. how did you find out?



I found a gay porn stash in his workshop and confronted him.

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2. how old was he when he admitted it?



Late 50's.

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3. did you know before he said anything?



Not a freakin' clue. Really, I had NO idea.

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4. did your mom know?



Not that I know of, and as far as I know she still doesn't. Then again, my father has more girlfriends right now than I have had my entire life.
The "bi" part was with him best friend only (once again, as far as I know) who passed on from cancer last year.

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How's that for being nosey?



Not at all. Heck, I'm the one that posted it to a public forum.
It's your life, live it!
Karma
RB#684 "Corcho", ASK#60, Muff#3520, NCB#398, NHDZ#4, C-33989, DG#1

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I knew it, I knew it, I knew it I argued this point with Amy and Molly to no end, Keith's straight, I should apologize for all those straight jokes I made behind your back, I understand that its the way you were born and we all still love you. We'll find you a support group

__________________________________________________
"Beware how you take away hope from another human being."
-Oliver Wendell Holmes

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The "bi" part was with him best friend only (once again, as far as I know) who passed on from cancer last year.



That's horrible. I'm sorry.

-- Toggle Whippin' Yahoo
Skydiving is easy. All you have to do is relax while plummetting at 120 mph from 10,000' with nothing but some nylon and webbing to save you.

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The "bi" part was with him best friend only (once again, as far as I know) who passed on from cancer last year.



That's horrible. I'm sorry.



Saw it coming a Looooong way away.

3-4 packs of Marlboro Reds a day, well, you know.
After seeing what happens to smokers, I really tried a few times to quit. I finally succeded. In one week it will be 4 months cold turkey, from almost 2 packs a day.
It's your life, live it!
Karma
RB#684 "Corcho", ASK#60, Muff#3520, NCB#398, NHDZ#4, C-33989, DG#1

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After seeing what happens to smokers, I really tried a few times to quit. I finally succeded. In one week it will be 4 months cold turkey, from almost 2 packs a day.



Good on ya, Rev. Let me know your secret. My father is 42 and he's still a heavy smoker, plus he gets almost no physical activity. It's beginning to really worry me and my mother.

I hope that your father feels better now that at least someone knows about his bisexuality. Losing the only person he could be himself with must have been terrible.

-- Toggle Whippin' Yahoo
Skydiving is easy. All you have to do is relax while plummetting at 120 mph from 10,000' with nothing but some nylon and webbing to save you.

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Good on ya, Rev. Let me know your secret.



Watch someone you have known your entire life die. Not much of a secret there.

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I hope that your father feels better now



I'm thinking he's making up for it in quantity of female companions. I want to know HIS secret!
It's your life, live it!
Karma
RB#684 "Corcho", ASK#60, Muff#3520, NCB#398, NHDZ#4, C-33989, DG#1

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That could really be it. Knowing that the guy who's interested in you is bi is probably flattering to a girl.

-- Toggle Whippin' Yahoo
Skydiving is easy. All you have to do is relax while plummetting at 120 mph from 10,000' with nothing but some nylon and webbing to save you.

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I guess you need to find a flash website that will decide what % het you are. Changing your own oil will probably get you up over 50% het, though, so be ready to question your sexuality afterwards.

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www.jumpelvis.com

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>>Well, let me put it this way, I'm waiting for the premier of Queer eye for the gay guy. Really.<<

How about Straight Eye for the Gay Guy, where we dress you up in clothes that you can't imagine anyone would really wear, furnish your home with crap, refuse to let you shower, and teach you the rules while you watch a hockey game?

Your s.o. would come home and be like "WTF is going on in here?" and you could tell him about the show. I think it would be a riot.

Seriously.

Brent

----------------------------------
www.jumpelvis.com

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Aw crap (sorry Mrs. Radcliff). Now my secret is out. Now I can't use the gay angle anymore to get women ;)



sorry I just felt it was my duity to "IN" you Keith , so that you'd be real with yourself:)

__________________________________________________
"Beware how you take away hope from another human being."
-Oliver Wendell Holmes

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Whoa there Johnny. Slam on the breaks. No one said I've jumped the fence yet ;) Come show me what you got and end my confusion :)


I guess you never got to the dz early enough to hang out at the staff meetings. I preferred to end the meetings by exposing myself in some fashion.;) Too bad we never had bon fires.

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