Vallerina 2 #1 October 9, 2003 It seems many people on here have problems with relationships. These problems range from not being able to hook up to wanting to get back with an ex. So, let's put all the wisdom that each of us have learned (even if you aren't in a 30 year long marriage...you've still learned something!) in one thread! Yeah, we all know that honesty and communication are the keys, but what are some of the other things you've learned along the way? What I've learned: -The best way for a guy to hookup in a bar is to have an "event" happen in the bar and make a funny comment about that event to whoever he wants to hookup with. -If someone says they're not ready for a relationship, no amount of sex you have with them will change their mind (very rare exceptions to that.) That's all I've got! There's a thin line between Saturday night and Sunday morning Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
WrongWay 0 #2 October 9, 2003 Okay, I can do this!! Guys, the trick is (as crazy as it sounds) don't let the girl know that you really care for her. The second she knows she has you by the balls, she'll get bored with you and run off. You can care, do sweet things, but never just come out and say it. Let her think that she could lose you at any time, and she'll be begging for you. Let her know she's got ya, and she'll be gone in a heartbeat. Also, I know it's hard to do, but if you've been in bad relationships before, tell your S.O. about it, but don't take it out on them. Example: If you've been physically abused, don't assume the person you're with now is gonna do that too. It's a different person, with different views. They're not the person that hurt you. Um........other than just saying girls are mean, that's about all I have. Wrong Way D #27371 Mal Manera Rodriguez Cajun Chicken Ø Hellfish #451 The wiser wolf prevails. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
321seeya 0 #3 October 9, 2003 1. When dating Twins: Once you sleep with one...You pretty much want to sleep with the other. 2. Marriage is much like being pecked to death...by a duck. 3. No matter how good a woman looks...Some one some where is TIRED OF PUTTING UP WITH HER SHIT! 4. The grass is only greener on the other side of the fence, because you cant see all the shit fertilizing the grass from where you stand. 5. Bad skydiving is still better than a good relationship...And good skydiving is Better than your average sex. Thats about all...Im sure there will be a couple of flames on this thread. DJ BASE 3:16 - Even if you are about to land on a cop - DONT FORGET TO FLARE! Free the soul -- DJ Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
freeflygoddess 0 #4 October 9, 2003 You are wrong. If I am in a relationship for a while and the guy never tells me how he feels, then I think why am I wasteing my time in this relationship if it isn't going any where. However, I do know that everyone is different. You can't base one's actions on the next, no matter what. Only when you can let go and fully trust someone and not blame them for past events, simply because they are a girl or a guy for that matter. The only time a relatioship really works out is if you are both ready for one and have the same feelings towards what a relationship should be. Also you both have to care enough to work at it, because no relationship is perfect. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Michele 1 #5 October 9, 2003 QuoteThe second she knows she has you by the balls, she'll get bored with you and run off. You can care, do sweet things, but never just come out and say it. Let her think that she could lose you at any time, and she'll be begging for you. Let her know she's got ya, and she'll be gone in a heartbeat. Oh, I call bullshit. With all due respect, sorry, my friend, but that's just not true - at least for me. And if it's that way for other women (not girls), I've yet to see it. If a man tells me he has feelings for me, it makes me feel good. I don't take advantage of that. I couldn't take advantage of that. If I do not have similar feelings, I let them know that, but if I do, then there is a basis for the potential for more in the relationship. I won't ask someone to buy things for me, or do outrageous things to prove it...I accept it for what it is - the most unique gift that there can ever be, the most valuable and valid thing there is. If I think I "could lose" him at any time, I get insecure. I don't like me insecure - I don't get possessive, I do not beg...what I do is withdraw my heart from the equation. I get defensive, and I hurt. I am far more apt to pull away from the situation if I don't know how he feels - or if he keeps me guessing - than I am to pursue. That's just the way I'm built. I don't like guessing, either. I'd rather be single than beg or guess...that's demeaning and a horrible inequality. (O.K., begging in certain situations could be fun....but I won't go there...). There should be no guessing nor begging in a partnership, in a relationship. And if the feelings are not returned, then that should also be known - so people can make their decisions based on truth rather than guesses. Sorry, WW, but I just have a fundamental disagreement with your position. Ciels- Michele ~Do Angels keep the dreams we seek While our hearts lie bleeding?~ Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
skybytch 273 #6 October 9, 2003 Men suck. Okay, I'll be serious... - If someone says they don't want to get married, ever, believe them. They aren't going to change their mind. - If you tell someone you'll call, call them within a couple of days (if not the next day). - If you were seeing someone but change your mind about wanting to see them again, let them know what's up so they don't wonder why you quit talking to them. - Don't move in with someone until you've stayed with them at least a few times. - Don't rush things. Build a friendship first. Wait a while before jumping into bed with them - it'll be way better sex once you have an emotional connection than it will be if you do them right off the bat. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
MrHixxx 0 #7 October 9, 2003 Be yourself. If someone is not attracted to you in "plain mode", they are never going to be in the long run. Don't pick up people in bars (they might be heavy from drinking). Let the relationship come to you in your everyday life following your pursuits. It is more likely you will find someone with something truly in common with you. Bars and dating are contrived and shitty, love just has to happen. Love with complete abandon. Holding back is for pussies. True emotional strength comes from letting it fly rather than containment. Don't fuckem, if they can't take a joke. Never trust your feeling to someone under the influence. You really haven't met them yet. In fact, they haven't even met themselves yet, that's why they are commonly shitfaced. You've met the real person when they are off crutches (that doesn't mean for a few days if they are chronic). If the shoe doesn't fit, don't wear it. that's all, Hixxxdeath,as men call him, ends what they call men -but beauty is more now than dying’s when Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Casie 0 #8 October 9, 2003 I have learned, never let a man try to control your every move. Also, everyone handles hardships differently, give them space if need be!~Porn Kitty WARNING: Goldschlager causes extreme emotional outbursts! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Remster 30 #9 October 9, 2003 Small tip for the men.... you'll score MAJOR brownie points if you put the seat down... yes, I'm whiped like the familly pig...Remster Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
skyesspot 0 #10 October 9, 2003 Here is a couple that come to mind: 1. Always be yourself. You don't want them falling for something you are not. 2. Don't ever think you are going to CHANGE anyone. Take them for what they are or move on.Life is too short. Don't sweat the small stuff. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Casie 0 #11 October 9, 2003 QuoteSmall tip for the men.... you'll score MAJOR brownie points if you put the seat down... yes, I'm whiped like the familly pig... Bravo! You deserve a nice cold one for that!......it just looks sooo much better when it's down!~Porn Kitty WARNING: Goldschlager causes extreme emotional outbursts! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
bkdice 0 #12 October 9, 2003 Quote2. Don't ever think you are going to CHANGE anyone. Take them for what they are or move on. Exactly!!!! Note to WrongWay - If a girl gets bored with you just because you showed / told her you care about her - then you should realize that is not someone you should care about! One of the things that I fell in love with about my man, is he made sure I knew how important I was to him from the very beginning. Be true and honest with your feelings, perspectives, and expectations (if there any). And do not push for something that isn't going to happen. Sometimes, you need to know when to walk away. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Remster 30 #13 October 9, 2003 QuoteBravo! Never said I did it... I keep that up my sleeve in case I need the said brownie points! Remster Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Push 0 #14 October 9, 2003 Girls have no sense of humor -- Toggle Whippin' Yahoo Skydiving is easy. All you have to do is relax while plummetting at 120 mph from 10,000' with nothing but some nylon and webbing to save you. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Vallerina 2 #15 October 9, 2003 WrongWay....I'll be honest...that seems more like "anger" than "wisdom." I'm not letting my anger speak about how you need to be extra cautious around people who like Miller Lite. That is something that needs to be changed about a significant other! There's a thin line between Saturday night and Sunday morning Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
skymama 37 #16 October 9, 2003 I've learned I don't like hairy asses. Oh, and games...I don't like the games that Wrongway suggested.She is Da Man, and you better not mess with Da Man, because she will lay some keepdown on you faster than, well, really fast. ~Billvon Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
jumper03 0 #17 October 9, 2003 QuoteIt seems many people on here have problems with relationships. These problems range from not being able to hook up to wanting to get back with an ex. So, let's put all the wisdom that each of us have learned (even if you aren't in a 30 year long marriage...you've still learned something!) in one thread! Yeah, we all know that honesty and communication are the keys, but what are some of the other things you've learned along the way? What I've learned: -The best way for a guy to hookup in a bar is to have an "event" happen in the bar and make a funny comment about that event to whoever he wants to hookup with. -If someone says they're not ready for a relationship, no amount of sex you have with them will change their mind (very rare exceptions to that.) That's all I've got! What I've learned? Relationships are like drugs - Just say no. JumpScars remind us that the past is real Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Remster 30 #18 October 9, 2003 QuoteI've learned I don't like hairy asses. Good point. Neither do I.Remster Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
sunshine 2 #19 October 9, 2003 QuoteOh, and games...I don't like the games that Wrongway suggested. You might like the disappearing glow stick game he invented. Ask him if you want the details. ___________________________________________ meow I get a Mike hug! I get a Mike hug! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
McDuck 0 #20 October 9, 2003 The problem with most of this type of 'wisdom' is that it tends to be valid only for the bearer, usually. For me, dawning realization came when I knew that no matter what I did, the person I was with at the time would never be happy. With me, with us, with who we were together and how we lived. My conclusion was that we simply weren't meant to be together. Now that I've found the love of my life, I've never been more at ease. Not only with her and our relationship together, but also with who I am deep down inside. When I was truly able to just be me and not worry what my SO would think, I knew my soul had found it's match. Compromise is a good thing...if you don't compromise who you really are to make someone else happy. Edit: Oh, and I agree about meeting people in the course of your normal existence. I met the love of my life on a weekend canoeing excursion. Kevin - Sonic Beef #5 - OrFun #28 "I never take myself too seriously, 'cuz everybody know fat birds don't fly." - FLC Online communities: proof that people never mature much past high school. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
GrumpySmurf 0 #21 October 9, 2003 The Basic 10: Rule 1: Never, ever, EVER go back to an ex-. Rule 2: Never date the friend of a relative or relative of a friend. Rule 3: If one has never been married, never date someone who has. Rule 4: Never date the child of a split marriage if the father left/cheated on the mother. Rule 5: Never date someone who cheated on/broke up with thier S/O for you - odds are they will do likewise to you, too. Rule 6: Never date someone with kids, unless you have them as well. Rule 7: Religious fundamentalists - avoid like the plague. Rule 8: Never date within circle of friends. They are Plan B when Plan A (your significant other) goes south. Rule 9: Never date someone who doesn't have a balanced circle of friends of both genders. Rule 10: Never date someone who gets along with none of thier ex's. Been happily dating the same lady for almost 4 years. I guess the rules worked :) Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
McDuck 0 #22 October 9, 2003 The problem with all of yours is that you are assuming that your preconceived notions can, and do, apply on a broad spectrum of people who aren't you. Kevin - Sonic Beef #5 - OrFun #28 "I never take myself too seriously, 'cuz everybody know fat birds don't fly." - FLC Online communities: proof that people never mature much past high school. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
GrumpySmurf 0 #23 October 9, 2003 Agreed. They only apply to me - everyone needs thier own criteria - each was based on what I thought was a sigificant factor in causing a relationship of mine to fail. As time went on, the relationships kept getting better as I narrowed down what fits and filtered out those individuals who didn't (which is probably 99.99% of the population). What it comes down to is: If they don't make me happy now, they won't make me happy later - only one person in my life is responsible for making me happy -> me. Oh yeah, Rule 11: Don't date Yank girls. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Zenister 0 #24 October 9, 2003 you could simply boil those all down to one rule... Dont date without conducting a full background investigation... sad really...____________________________________ Those who fail to learn from the past are simply Doomed. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Vallerina 2 #25 October 9, 2003 QuoteThe problem with most of this type of 'wisdom' is that it tends to be valid only for the bearer, usually. No, I disagree. Much wisdom can be applied to many people. Obviously, it can't be applied to everyone, but why not try to learn from others' mistakes? -Many great couples I've seen have had a similar dream/goal that they both worked towards. -(For the girls mostly, but can be applied towards guys.) Think about the type of guy you want to attract when getting dressed up. Honestly, showing more cleavage will not get more decent guys to talk to you. It will get more scummy guys to talk to you, though. -(Sorry if I offend anyone) Do not date frat guys while they're still in college.There's a thin line between Saturday night and Sunday morning Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
