skymama 37 #51 October 9, 2003 If it's such a bad thing, Rev, why is it that my son gets straight A's and is quite happy with it? In fact, he's never gotten a B in Middle School yet, and he's the one who is trying to keep his A average throughout. Sometimes kids just need a kick in the ass when they start going off tangent. There's nothing wrong with aiming high. I think part of what's wrong with our country these days is that people don't expect enough of their children and we have a whole bunch of slackers now. It's time for kids to put their nose back to the old grindstone.She is Da Man, and you better not mess with Da Man, because she will lay some keepdown on you faster than, well, really fast. ~Billvon Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Deuce 1 #52 October 9, 2003 Do two seven-year-olds equal a 14-year-old? I think the answer is her peer group, and the other peer groups she is exposed to. That key club sounds like a great idea. Misery loves company, and slackers are always recruiting. It's easier to get C's if a large percentage of the kids are getting F's. "Well at least I'm not getting an F!" (Huff!) Funny. In my old job I'd arrest some guy for auto burglary and his reasoning would be "Well, at least I'm not out killing people!" Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Flygator 0 #53 October 9, 2003 Not to worry so much Skymama. My 16 year old is now perfectly normal...I think??? They get into the know it all stage at 14. Just think, now I only have 4 left to go thru that stage...yipppeeeeee! The secret to life is not arriving at the grave in a well preserved body but sliding in sideways completely worn out yelling "holy crap" what a ride!!! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
bvsdjumper 0 #54 October 9, 2003 [Jake moves over to the Customers table] Jake: How much for the little girl? The women? How much for the women? Customer: What? Jake: Your women. I want to buy your women. The little girl, your daughters. Sell them to me. Sell me your children! Customer: Matre d'! Matre d'! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
mouth 0 #55 October 9, 2003 It's nice to see that we both think aiming high is a good quality. For those who accept mediocracy, expect only mediocre results. -- Hot Mama At least you know where you stand even if it is in a pile of shit. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
whocares 0 #56 October 9, 2003 Can she clean a boat? Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
kingbunky 3 #57 October 9, 2003 Quote. Now Ash has started to slam her door when she is mad, so I figure I'll take her door off for a week next time she does it. That should effectively put an end to that habit. ooooooooooo, i like that! both of mine (the 89 female and the 91 male) are big door slammers. take the doors... "Hang on a sec, the young'uns are throwin' beer cans at a golf cart." MB4252 TDS699 killing threads since 2001 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Nutz 0 #58 October 9, 2003 QuoteQuoteI'll gladly add my 14 y/o female to the acution. She has gone from straight A's to even praying for a high C at this point. Granted they are Honors classes and I'll accpet a B gladly, but a C....NEVER. Any ideas for punishment if she doesn't pull the B out of Science? We're in the exact same boat! I'm trying to give her some leeway because of all the changes going on in our lives now and for the fact that she just started high school. But there comes a point where they have to have a little pride in themselves and work up to their potential. Anything below a B is unacceptable in my house also. She's already had the computer taken away because of her low Biology grade, and the phone because of her attitude. I'm running out of things to take away from her! I have a son so it may be different, we took everything away and had no effect. The boy had a matress on the floor and nothing else, he didn't care. I think it is more who they are hanging out with than any dicipline you might give. Don't stop, but look at who she is hanging out with. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
livendive 8 #59 October 9, 2003 QuoteI'm not going to say what it's like in this house, with 4 children ranging in age from 12 to 4, but I will say it's quite a bit better than what I hear. Give it a couple years Jim. My 15 year old daughter was a perfect angel at 12. It DOES get tougher. Blues, Dave"I AM A PROFESSIONAL EXTREME ATHLETE!" (drink Mountain Dew) Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
lummy 4 #60 October 9, 2003 Uhmm... Thanks but no thanks, I have an ample supply of teenagers in this hous n besides, I'm outta bedrooms...I promise not to TP Davis under canopy.. I promise not to TP Davis under canopy.. eat sushi, get smoochieTTK#1 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Squeak 17 #61 October 9, 2003 well our normal class size is 30, but I have the honour of taking care of "special" kids (aka arsehole students, other ppls definitions not mine)You are not now, nor will you ever be, good enough to not die in this sport (Sparky) My Life ROCKS! How's yours doing? Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
MrHixxx 0 #62 October 9, 2003 QuoteI was very easy to raise because my dad was a Marine. He was so stern, I was too afraid to open my mouth to talk back That's funny. When Drake is smarting off to his mother she just says "Let's call Daddy and ask him." This is usually followed "No Mommy, I'm sorry don't tell Daddy. I'll be good." Hixxxdeath,as men call him, ends what they call men -but beauty is more now than dying’s when Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Squeak 17 #63 October 9, 2003 Quote As a teacher and a parent I believe you need to set the expectations high or your student or children will never reach a higher standard of performance. If you expect crap, you'll get crap. That said crap is not expected or accepted here. Well said Lisa we think alike, I have 15 kids that most of the other reaching staff believe to be at educational risk. They tell me that they're dumb, I show them that they're not. I have 15 lawyers in my group, their ability to argue and reason is amazing when they have somthing at stake which they value.That's where I dig I look for hooks and things of value to them and start from there. They are currently building a BMX jump and race curuit, and they have no idea how much they are learingYou are not now, nor will you ever be, good enough to not die in this sport (Sparky) My Life ROCKS! How's yours doing? Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
skyesspot 0 #64 October 9, 2003 I totally feel for you... my 16 year old is driving me nuts. Altho I have to say that 9th grade was a wonderful year for us. 7th & 8th I thought for sure I was sending her to a boarding school. I even contacted a few and had them send me some information and left it laying around. THAT really scared her. I think all ages have their ups and downs, but no matter how bad they can get as teenagers, when they say "Mommy, will you go here w/me" (meaning they don't mind being seen in public w/you) or "Mommy, I love you", you remember that it's all worth it. Life is too short. Don't sweat the small stuff. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
jfields 0 #65 October 9, 2003 Jim, There must be a happy medium. I agree that grades are not the be-all and end-all of a child's future. Far from it. Mine were mediocre and look at me. <> But at the same time, I believe you do have to push them. Not all kids want to acheive even a modest level of academic success that can be considered "acceptable", so they have to be steered in the right direction. Otherwise they might have lasting problems down the road from a temporary phase they are in. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Skyrad 0 #66 October 9, 2003 Ah the standard model then..........Doesn't she come with any optional extras?When an author is too meticulous about his style, you may presume that his mind is frivolous and his content flimsy. Lucius Annaeus Seneca Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
QuickDraw 0 #67 October 9, 2003 QuoteProne to arguements, tears, sulking and door slamming all before 7 am Sounds like me going to work. -- Hope you don't die. -- I'm fucking winning Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Skymonkey13 0 #68 October 9, 2003 I have a Boy just like that...well, except the make up...thats where i draw the line. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Fast 0 #69 October 9, 2003 Well, all I can say (being that I am 21, in college, and know just a little bit about htis from the other perspective) is that eventually they will realise. In Middle school the only people that could comptete with the grades that I have were the ones whos parents pushed them so hard that they had no life. In Highschool there were a few more people who did as well as I did, and I started to not really care. In college the classes are harder, and I am still putting forth the ammount of effort that I did in highschool and my grades are average. I didn't get stupid, I just am not working hard. Slacking and getting by is easy. I was never pushed really hard, I grew up with my mom, and she made it apparent that I need to get good grades, and that I should do well, but she never went nuts about it, or anything. I graduated highschool in the top 10% of my class with a 3.8 gpa... It really wasn't hard to do, but up untill now, my senior year in college, when I am pissed that I might be one class short at the end of next semester, I never really got the point that I should really care about what I am doing. So I care now, and am actually putting forth effort. The only thing I can say, is make sure your kids know that life gets harder as you grow up, and that the same ammount of effort that worked in the past won't hold out forever. If they get that concept, and realize more of whats ahead they will naturaly want to suceed. I suppose it can be compared to business. Every busniess has its day to day tacics for making money, selling the product, whatever. They also have the long term strategies that are in place to keep the company alive for more than just a few days. Once people realize that applys to life in the long run (and I am talking about actually realizing it, not just thinking or saying it) then they know what it takes to be sucesfull. uhh, rambling, and take it with a grain of salt, but thats my point of view... Oh and don't think your kids hate you, my mom seems to think that from time to time, just because I am not all connected and emotional as I used to be when I was 10.~D Where troubles melt like lemon drops Away above the chimney tops That's where you'll find me. Swooping is taking one last poke at the bear before escaping it's cave - davelepka Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
VanillaSkyGirl 6 #70 October 9, 2003 QuoteI think the answer is her peer group, and the other peer groups she is exposed to. I agree. People compare themselves to their peer group. I always ask people who are slacking, but obviously able to achieve more in life, "Why be the best of the worst?" I want to be the best of the best. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
livendive 8 #71 October 9, 2003 QuoteMisery loves company, and slackers are always recruiting. It's easier to get C's if a large percentage of the kids are getting F's. "Well at least I'm not getting an F!" (Huff!) When my daughter brought home a mid-semester progress report that showed an F, 3 D's, a C, and a B immediately following 7 consecutive straight A report cards, she tried that exact excuse on me. ("Hey, all my friends are flunking EVERYTHING"). I asked her why she is friends with such stupid people and she couldn't come up with an answer. Anyhow, after some grounding and quite a bit of prodding, she ended up with 3 A's, 1 B, and 2 C's that semester. So far this year it looks like she's doing much better. Blues, Dave"I AM A PROFESSIONAL EXTREME ATHLETE!" (drink Mountain Dew) Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
skytrixaz 0 #72 October 9, 2003 Quote... My look this morning did reduce her to tears. When I told her to stop crying and get in the car, she very dramatically said, "but they're my tears and I can cry if I want to." Yeah, whatever, just quit crying and get in the car! Mornin' Skymama...I've been there as a single parent. I'm the mother of my daughter...she's almost 21 years old. I remember those days...the only thing I can compare it to is "being eaten alive by minnows...SLOWLY." My advice would be to this evening have some one-on-one time with your daughter. Preferably neutral territory...away from home...take a walk to the park. Acknowledge all the changes she's going through...living in a new state, new high school, having to make new friends. Damn...this is very tough for her. The fact that she said "they're my tears" is she's feeling alot of emotional pain. You don't have to fix it or find solutions...just FEEL HER PAIN...that's part of what she needs right now. For now just use acknowledgement phrases..."I can see how you must feel so "sad, scared...fill in the blank". She wants to express her feelings of pain but they're all stuffed inside. The pain is manifesting itself in "door slamming, doing poorly in school, etc." Basically...she just needs someone to listen for now. g Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Pammi 0 #73 October 9, 2003 Hmm...so that's what I have to look forward to eh? Although we haven't gotten to the door slamming part yet, I think we're edging that way quickly. We ARE having huge issues about applying herself though. She's also gifted, tested and all that, but I have to get on her to actually make the effort because her grades periodically sink out. I know she's smarter then the D's or F's she brings home now and then...WAY smarter. I think it's more about laziness then brains. Grounding from the computer is a big thing right now ... then I come up with interesting ones now and again. Merrick says I can be quite inventive. QuoteIf your children are really that gifted, they will do what they want anyway, and they already know the repercussions of their actions. I disagree. I WAS the smart, good girl in high school. And I graduated with honors, a 3.9 GPA, AND a baby! There's so much more to growing up then intelligence. Please guys, take notes and pass them on as you go through this! I am SO not ready for this yet and have NO IDEA what I'm doing! Don't tell them that tho One question is this: Everyone agrees that we should try to keep our kids hanging out with other good kids..but how do you do that? How do you control who they talk to at school even if you don't let them hang out at other times?? Merrick had a good laugh this morning though. Said Tyler was wiggling around and touching himself excessively on the way to school this morning so he finally asked him what he was doing. He told him he "peewee keeps growing and he doesn't like it" and held a finger straight up to demonstrate! Merrick assured him it was normal but I'm not sure him laughing so hard about it helped Pammi Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Skymonkey13 0 #74 October 9, 2003 When he was younger and quite abit smaller, i caught my son lying to me. I knew he was lying, and he knew that i knew it, but he wouldn't admit it. I finally told him that he was going to get punished anyway because i knew he was lying, but that if he would just admit it, he wouldn't get a spanking. Then he finally so, "ok, i lied" So i told him he could just go upstairs to his room and think over what he had done. When he turned to go up stairs, i kick him in the ass (not hard, just to get his attention) he turned right around and said, "Hey dad, you said you wouldn't hit me" so i said "I lied, how does it feel?" He got the point and has remembered that to this day. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
PLFKING 4 #75 October 9, 2003 QuoteMerrick assured him it was normal but I'm not sure him laughing so hard about it helped Don"When in doubt I whip it out, I got me a rock-and-roll band. It's a free-for-all." Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
