Bolas 5 #1 September 26, 2003 (long post, why use 1 word when 30 will do? Blame this on years of having to write IT documentation for managers) I thought these were both funny and deserved but some might see these as mean 1. Went to Ozzfest in D.C. with some whuffo friends (that I see less than 5 times a year) We stop at Cracker Barrell to load up on food. After we eat I go to the bathroom and when I get out they left me with the check. [Payback mode] I pay the check, they even wrote "Thanks Randy" on the bill. We get in our separate cars (I'm going to the Orange Boogie after) and go the the show. When we get there: Me: (sincerely) Thanks for the food Whuffos: (sarcastically) Anytime M: No, seriously, it was cool you picked up the check guys, not that you had a choice. W: (weird look) Huh? M: Yeah, I just left right from the bathroom, thanks for getting the check. W: (Concerned) You did what? We left the check for you. M: (laughing) I left it for you guys. We just dined and dashed!!! W: Oh shit!!! Didn't mean to do that. M: Oh well, can't go back there... Glad we didn't use my name on the waiting list I even offered to give them my "portion" that they could take by "to clear their conscience" since it was on their way back home. They didn't take me up on that, too bad. I don't know what would have been funnier, them, trying to explain to Cracker Barrell that they just left without paying or the employees telling them they had. I might tell them when I see them at Christmas... NAH!!!!!! 2. My parents have been without power since last Thursday thanks to that bitch Isabel. They live on a small street with above ground lines with two subdivisions on each side with underground power. The sudivisions got power back Saturday, they still have lines down all over the place and the best estimate is next Friday for them to get power. They called me Wednesday night and asked if they could stay with me for 4-5 days, I tell them no problem and they tell me they are coming Friday. They call me last night and tell me they are on the way they couldn't wait to get electricity. No big deal, but they are coming early... [Prank mode] Just before the time they show up I turn off all the lights and flip the breakers off. When I see the car coming out the driveway I greet them with a flashlight and a hug... Me: (sincerely) Hey, you made it. Parents: How come your outside light isn't on, is it burned out? M: Yeah, burned out, uhh... P: What's going on? None of your other lights are on but the other apartments have power. M: Uhhh.... You know how I told you I was broke? Backstory P: (concerned look) Yeah... M: Well, they cut off my power because the check didn't overdraft right and bounced. P: (Shocked) What? M: Not a big deal, I just have to go there tomorrow and pay them and they'll cut it back on. P: (angry) Why didn't you tell us? M: It just happened half an hour ago. At this point my mom just sat back down in her car and covered her head with her hands while my dad screamed "We drove 4 1/2 hours and now you don't have power?!?!?!" Since the fish had been hooked, reeled in and sitting in the boat, I yelled "Psyche!!!" and went in and flipped the breakers (I really thought one of them would come in and try flicking the light in disbelief ) and turned on the lights. Both of these cases were justified Right? edited to add the blue type, hopefully making the first story funnierStupidity if left untreated is self-correcting If ya can't be good, look good, if that fails, make 'em laugh. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Rebecca 0 #2 September 26, 2003 You're going straight to hell, dude. That was pretty funny. you've got to ask yourself one question: 'Do I feel loquacious?' -- well do you, punk? Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
skybytch 273 #3 September 26, 2003 OMFG, you are evil. Truly, truly evil. You're like the tequila of evil. I'm impressed. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Casie 0 #4 September 26, 2003 LMAO! Well, if I were your mom, I might just cry, then laugh, then cry some more!~Porn Kitty WARNING: Goldschlager causes extreme emotional outbursts! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
turtlespeed 221 #5 September 26, 2003 QuoteLMAO! Well, if I were your mom, I might just cry, then laugh, then cry some more! I am really proud of your Dad for not just knocking the living sh^t out of you.I'm not usually into the whole 3-way thing, but you got me a little excited with that. - Skymama BTR #1 / OTB^5 Official #2 / Hellfish #408 / VSCR #108/Tortuga/Orfun Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
SkyAnt 0 #6 September 26, 2003 That was funny dude. What did they say after that? Is you Dad much of a joker? "All that is necessary for the triumph of evil is that good men do nothing." Edmund Burke (1729-1797) Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
wmw999 2,501 #7 September 26, 2003 Both make you a bad person. In the nicest possible way Wendy W.There is nothing more dangerous than breaking a basic safety rule and getting away with it. It removes fear of the consequences and builds false confidence. (tbrown) Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Bolas 5 #8 September 26, 2003 My mom has a pretty good sense of humor, but my dad doesn't really. That's what makes it more funStupidity if left untreated is self-correcting If ya can't be good, look good, if that fails, make 'em laugh. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
weegegirl 2 #9 September 26, 2003 That is great! right on. the friends one was a bit weak, but the parents one rocked. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
turtlespeed 221 #10 September 26, 2003 QuoteOMFG, you are evil. Truly, truly evil. You're like the tequila of evil. I'm impressed. Tequila evil, WOW! That's like the most worstest evil you can be.I'm not usually into the whole 3-way thing, but you got me a little excited with that. - Skymama BTR #1 / OTB^5 Official #2 / Hellfish #408 / VSCR #108/Tortuga/Orfun Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
bkdice 0 #11 September 26, 2003 You're awesome! Hahahaha... I love pulling this kind of stuff on people. I don't do it much anymore. You might have just inspired me. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
lawrocket 3 #12 September 26, 2003 No, it doesn't make you bad. It just makes you exceptionally thoughtful and provocative. Doign that to your own parents. Right on. My wife is hotter than your wife. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Bolas 5 #13 September 26, 2003 Added a little "polish" to the first story. Blue typeStupidity if left untreated is self-correcting If ya can't be good, look good, if that fails, make 'em laugh. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
happythoughts 0 #14 September 26, 2003 QuoteLMAO! Well, if I were your mom, I might just cry, then laugh, then cry some more! I betting that his mom has been crying for years. "Where did we go wrong?... a skydiver... no electricity..." Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Bolas 5 #15 September 26, 2003 Quote"Where did we go wrong?... a skydiver... So you have met her. Stupidity if left untreated is self-correcting If ya can't be good, look good, if that fails, make 'em laugh. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Gawain 0 #16 September 26, 2003 Love it!! Great job!! What were your parents' reactions after they saw the lights come back on? So I try and I scream and I beg and I sigh Just to prove I'm alive, and it's alright 'Cause tonight there's a way I'll make light of my treacherous life Make light! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Bolas 5 #17 September 26, 2003 Utter disbelief I could be so "cruel" Stupidity if left untreated is self-correcting If ya can't be good, look good, if that fails, make 'em laugh. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
