I'm gonna die! I'm gonna die! Oh... no I'm not.

[sburkart 0]

I was looking around the forums and saw a thread on how the Neverending Cypres Debates From Hell were getting old for a lot of people, so I decided to end the thing once and for all via reading aloud every thread pertaining to the subject and having the resulting recording studied using Reverse Speech Analysis in order to devine the suspected hidden motivations of various posters.

Conclusion: Reverse Speech Analysis is total hokum,
but Joe Walsh can clearly be heard to say "Resneff!" -which is actually "Thank you"- played in reverse at the end of James Gang Live album.

That effort having failed, I now give you:

Top Ten Reasons I Won't Jump Without A Cypres:

#10) I'm afraid of freefalling into a flock of migrating waterfowl and getting knocked out.

#9) I'm afraid someone so confident in their abilities and fate that THEY jump without a Cypres will somehow get knocked out and take me out with them.

#8) I'm such a lech I'm afraid I'll get distracted by a pretty face in a window of a passing airliner and forget to pull.

#7) We're afraid because we think one of our personalities may be suicidal.

#6) I aint afraid of dyin', but should something tragic happen the DZ dirt would clash horribly with my matching rig and competition suit.

#5) I've carefully calculated my wingloading and not having a Cypres would blow THAT all to hell.

#4) I took it all at poker night and my jumping buddies can no longer be counted on to chase me down and pull for me if anything bad happens.

#3) I've been hacking the firmware to win low-pull contests...

#2) ...and so far I'm undefeated.

And lastly,

The Number One Reason I won't Jump Without A Cypres:














#1) The damn thing cost me 1200 bucks and it's GOING.

[freeflygoddess 0]

After reading number seven I may just buy a cypres...no I wont...yes I will...nah we don't need one....we all have to die one day...would you rather die than feel the pain that will come to being passed out and landing our PD126....


AH!!!!!

[lazerq3 0]

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#1) The damn thing cost me 1200 bucks and it's GOING.

Is why I dont jump with one!!! Of coarse you know what the next question will be ...right?? " SO you dont think your life is worth 1200$..?"

And just to shut them up!!!! SURVEY SAYS......NOPE

jason

Freedom of speech includes volume

[Push 0]

So does this mean I should buy a cypres?

-- Toggle Whippin' Yahoo
Skydiving is easy. All you have to do is relax while plummetting at 120 mph from 10,000' with nothing but some nylon and webbing to save you.

[Flygator 0]

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#10) I'm afraid of freefalling into a flock of migrating waterfowl and getting knocked out.

Most birds fly around 1000 feet or lower when migrating so if you haven't pulled by then.......

The secret to life is not arriving at the grave in a well preserved body but sliding in sideways completely worn out yelling "holy crap" what a ride!!!

[BartsDaddy 7]

Most birds fly around 1000 feet or lower when migrating so if you haven't pulled by then.......

[Tailwheel 0]

Most birds fly low. But i've flown loads up and passed birds at 8,000 feet and in fairly cloudy conditions. Oh yeah, around here the birds (buzzards, vultures and hawks) can regularly be seen soaring around on thermals at four and five grand. Just ask your pilot they can tell you what they see in flight. Not trying to be alarmist just want to relay the view from up front.

[sburkart 0]

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Most birds fly around 1000 feet or lower when migrating so if you haven't pulled by then.......

LOL! Well, your statement poses another question I don't know the answer to, namely bird populations, but I Googled "migratory bird altitudes" and it came back with a great graphic:

Bird Migrating Altitudes

It's entirely within the realm of possibilty that a skydiver could inadvertantly get into 3D-RW with anything from flocks of songbirds to Canadian Geese at up to 11,000ft. and ducks or geese up to 16,000ft.

Note that it is possible to collide with seabirds and shorebirds, as well as eagles, vultures and hawks at up to +21,000ft. and Bar-headed geese at up to 30,000ft., but at those altitudes 3D-RW with wildlife is probably the least of your problems, IMHO.

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#10) I'm afraid of freefalling into a flock of migrating waterfowl and getting knocked out.

Huh. And here I thought I was making a joke.

[lummy 4]

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Note that it is possible to collide with seabirds and shorebirds, as well as eagles, vultures and hawks at up to +21,000ft. and Bar-headed geese at up to 30,000ft., but at those altitudes 3D-RW with wildlife is probably the least of your problems, IMHO

makes one wonder what a Hypoxic Hawk would be like, huh?

I promise not to TP Davis under canopy.. I promise not to TP Davis under canopy.. eat sushi, get smoochieTTK#1

[sburkart 0]

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So does this mean I should buy a cypres?

There are no absolutes, but, as is clearly demonstrated in the migrating birdy link above, Reason #10 (or a variation thereof) could be more than enough cause for any self-reliant skydiver types to reconsider the possbility that they could find themselves in a once-in-a-lifetime situation that could never have been forseen, and which may or may not have results ranging from feather-filled orifice syndrome to inter-species 3D-RW, any of which could lead to The Most Famous and Unlikely Incident of All Time.

Needless to say, those of the Cypres Generation won't have this particular issue.

NEXT!