diablopilot 2 #1 August 29, 2003 Ladies vs. Real Women Ladies - If you accidentally over-salt a dish while it's still cooking, drop in a peeled potato and it will absorb the excess salt for an instant "fix-me-up." Real Women - If you over-salt a dish while you are cooking, that's too damn bad. Please recite with me, The Real Women's motto: "I made it and you will eat it and I don't care how bad it tastes." Ladies - Cure for headaches: Take a lime, cut it in half and rub it on your forehead. The throbbing will go away. Real Women - Take a lime, mix it with tequila, chill and drink. You might still have the headache, but who cares? Ladies - Stuff a miniature marshmallow in the bottom of a sugar cone to prevent ice cream drips. Real Women - Just suck the ice cream out of the bottom of the cone, for Pete's sake. You are probably lying on the couch, with your feet up, eating it anyway. Ladies - To keep potatoes from budding, place an apple in the bag with the potatoes. Real Women - Buy boxed mashed potato mix and keep it in the pantry for up to a year. Ladies - When a cake recipe calls for flouring the baking pan, use a bit of the dry cake mix instead and there won't be any white mess on the inside of the cake. Real Women - Go to the bakery - they'll even decorate it for you. Ladies - Brush some beaten egg white over pie crust before baking to yield a beautiful glossy finish. Real Women - Sara Lee frozen pie directions do not include brushing egg whites over the crust, so I just don't do it. Ladies - If you have a problem opening jars, try using latex dishwashing gloves. They give a non slip grip that makes opening jars easy. Real Women - Go ask the very cute neighbor guy to do it. And finally the most important tip!..... Ladies - Don't throw out all that leftover wine. Freeze into ice cubes for future use in casseroles and sauces. Real Women - Leftover wine??---------------------------------------------- You're not as good as you think you are. Seriously. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
divingduck 0 #2 August 29, 2003 honestly, who puts marshmallows in their icecream anyway?? yay! If I loved you anymore I would have a stroke Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
diablopilot 2 #3 August 29, 2003 How about theses...---------------------------------------------- You're not as good as you think you are. Seriously. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
skymama 37 #4 August 29, 2003 lmao....oh my gosh, I'm such a real woman, it's not even funny. I say this exactly to my kids: "I made it and you will eat it and I don't care how bad it tastes." She is Da Man, and you better not mess with Da Man, because she will lay some keepdown on you faster than, well, really fast. ~Billvon Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Casie 0 #6 August 29, 2003 Those are hilarious! LOL!~Porn Kitty WARNING: Goldschlager causes extreme emotional outbursts! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
turtlespeed 226 #7 August 29, 2003 Made my slow day funny, thatnks...I'm not usually into the whole 3-way thing, but you got me a little excited with that. - Skymama BTR #1 / OTB^5 Official #2 / Hellfish #408 / VSCR #108/Tortuga/Orfun Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Jayruss 0 #8 August 30, 2003 The "monk" story A new young monk arrives at the monastery. He is assigned to help the other monks in copying the old canons and laws of the church by hand. He notices however, that all of the monks are copying from copies, not from the original manuscript. So, the new monk goes to the head abbot to question this, pointing out that if someone made even a small error in the first copy, it would never be picked up. In fact, that error would be continued in all of the subsequent copies. The head monk says, "We have been copying from the copies for centuries but you make a good point my son". So, he goes down into the dark caves underneath the monastery where the original manuscript is held in a locked vault that hasn't been opened for hundreds of years. Hours go by and nobody sees the old abbot. So, the young monk gets worried and goes downstairs to look for him. He sees him banging his head against the wall. His forehead is all bloody and bruised and he is crying uncontrollably. The young man asks the old abbot, What's wrong, father? With a choking voice, the old abbot replies, "The word is celebrate". __________________________________________________ "Beware how you take away hope from another human being." -Oliver Wendell Holmes Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
CrazyIvan 0 #9 August 30, 2003 A little boy asks to his father: Daddy...do you know what's the oldest animal?, the father thinks for a sec and answers, No idea son, and the little boy says THE COW, and the father asks, how do you know the cow is the oldest animal and the little boy replies: Because is in black and white.__________________________________________ Blue Skies and May the Force be with you. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
