aliengirl 0 #1 August 15, 2003 I'm pretty new to skydiving and....is it just me or are some people (especially some select women) very territorial when it comes to "their" dropzone? Although a majority of the people I have met are extremely welcoming and friendly, I have gotten some go-away vibes from people and I'm confused.....WHY?? Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
rehmwa 2 #2 August 15, 2003 Cindy - Keep introducing yourself around. At most DZs you will eventually find those you click with. If not, there's other DZs. It's a big family most of the time. And like most, people are usually pretty nice once you understand them. Some just take longer to warm up than others. ... Driving is a one dimensional activity - a monkey can do it - being proud of your driving abilities is like being proud of being able to put on pants Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
bmcd308 0 #3 August 15, 2003 >>is it just me or are some people (especially some select women) very territorial when it comes to "their" dropzone?<< Are you better looking than the select women of which you speak? That may explain it. Brent ---------------------------------- www.jumpelvis.com Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
aliengirl 0 #4 August 15, 2003 QuoteCindy - Keep introducing yourself around. At most DZs you will eventually find those you click with. If not, there's other DZs. It's a big family most of the time. And like most, people are usually pretty nice once you understand them. Some just take longer to warm up than others. I've thought of that. Maybe my low number of jumps and experience makes them think I do not understand them... therefore, I am not worth talking to or being friendly to? Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
quade 4 #5 August 15, 2003 Go HERE. Read THIS BOOK. Don't worry about whatever "vibe" they may have going on. It probably has nothing to do with you. It probably has more to do with the way they see themselves.quade - The World's Most Boring Skydiver Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
bmcd308 0 #6 August 15, 2003 Alright, Quade. I'm curious, but there's now way I'm reading through that site. What's the gist? ---------------------------------- www.jumpelvis.com Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
quade 4 #7 August 15, 2003 The Four Agreements 1. Be Impeccable With Your Word Speak with integrity. Say only what you mean. Avoid using the word to speak against yourself or to gossip about others. Use the power of your word in the direction of truth and love. 2. Don’t Take Anything Personally Nothing others do is because of you. What others say and do is a projection of their own reality, their own dream. When you are immune to the opinions and actions of others, you won’t be the victim of needless suffering. 3. Don’t Make Assumptions Find the courage to ask questions and to express what you really want. Communicate with others as clearly as you can to avoid misunderstandings, sadness and drama. With just this one agreement, you can completely transform your life. 4. Always Do Your Best Your best is going to change from moment to moment; it will be different when you are healthy as opposed to sick. Under any circumstance, simply do your best, and you will avoid self-judgment, self-abuse and regret. Pretty simple really. Obviously, there is a LOT more to the detailed explanations, but this is the foundation.quade - The World's Most Boring Skydiver Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
bmcd308 0 #8 August 15, 2003 Pretty cool. With that intro, I'll read more of hte site. Thanks. ---------------------------------- www.jumpelvis.com Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
bkdice 0 #9 August 15, 2003 Quoteis it just me or are some people (especially some select women) very territorial when it comes to "their" dropzone? I think that you may find this in a lot of group situations, where women are more territorial with other women and men are more territorial with other men when a "new member" comes into their group. I found the men at my DZ very welcoming when I started, and some of the women were too. But some were not quite as warm in the very beginning. Once I was there a bit and got to know them, that changed and any walls that were up, came down. Don't take it personally (unless they are just flat being nasty). Some may see you as a threat, some may just be trying to size you up a bit to see what you are like. Hopefully they are not excluding you due to your inexperience (or that you are good looking as someone else suggested - which is a possibility). Give it some time before making any assumptions. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
aliengirl 0 #10 August 15, 2003 Quote***Hopefully they are not excluding you due to your inexperience (or that you are good looking as someone else suggested - which is a possibility). Give it some time before making any assumptions. Like I said, most people are friendly and willing to help me learn. But there are just one or two who won't even give me the time of day. I may as well not exist. I've tried speaking with them...saying hello, etc.....but get frustrated when I get nothing back. Maybe this has nothing to do with skydiving and everything to do with the way those people feel about themselves. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
bkdice 0 #11 August 15, 2003 Yeah - sounds like insecurity. Hopefully it will smooth out. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
squirrel 0 #12 August 16, 2003 if they are that rude to you, i am sure thier karma will come around. must say though, cant quite figure out people who think they are so badass as to not talk to new people in the sport. like my mama always said, we all grunt the same way sittin on the toilet! ________________________________ Where is Darwin when you need him? Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
vonSanta 0 #13 August 16, 2003 Here there's a pretty big turnaround rate on students. manya re one jump wonders and the certified members of the club I am in seem to only invest time in others if they know they'll stay in the sport. This could be taken as hostility. That being said, for me I've found entry into this sport a bit newbie-unfriendly. Am an introverted person, so I'll talk to people who wish to talk to me, keep my eyes and ears open and identify the 'easy goers'. The club thing is pretty hard to get ahold of too. Everyone has already formed small groups and although there seems to be a lot of interaction between them, newbies are left out, or can feel left out. But that's just the group dynamics of this culture, nothing skydiving specific. Those Sierra Hotel groups of SkyGods who look upon contempt on students I do my best to simply ignore. It took FunkFlyz three years from they started til they won the WC IIRC, so the SkyGods will eat their attitude sooner or later. When everyone seems to want to haze/ignore/hate me, I go into 'oh well' mode, carry on and follow through. Sooner or later it's bound to work out, one way or another. Ugh no skydiving this weekend. How visible it is in a post like this Santa Von GrossenArsch I only come in one flavour ohwaitthatcanbemisunderst Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
betzilla 56 #14 August 16, 2003 QuoteLike I said, most people are friendly and willing to help me learn. But there are just one or two who won't even give me the time of day. I may as well not exist. I've tried speaking with them...saying hello, etc.....but get frustrated when I get nothing back. Maybe this has nothing to do with skydiving and everything to do with the way those people feel about themselves. Maybe they're just jerks, in which case they don't deserve your friendship anyway. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Vertifly 0 #15 August 16, 2003 Aliengirl, Don't let this get to you, please. A lot of DZ's are this way. Sometimes getting into the "CLICK's" at the DZ takes time, confidence, self-expression and open-ness. I've been going to my home place for 7-years and, believe me, EVERY SEASON tends to bring a new group together; one which I am not yet a part of. Try to embrace this part of the sport. Most skydivers consider themselves VERY different from "normal" society. I think that this is why the groups tend to flock together so tightly. So, the difficult part is already over, you are a SKYDIVER. Find out when the next party is and ask if you can come along. I'm sure that once they see you are fun to be with, they'll be coming to you for the fun times. Have fun working with it, that is the best part. My 2-cents. Good luck!!! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Skydiver40TN 0 #16 August 17, 2003 There are territorial, stuck up, snooty people in skydiving as anywhere. I try and make friends with everyone, it doesnt always work. Avoid those and seek out the friendly ones. Smome DZ's are very clickish, it happened to me at the DZ I trained at. I was never accepted and was never comfortable. I quit going there and was lucky that other DZ's were nearby. The next one I frequented took me in immediately as one of thier own, still some of my best friends are from that DZ, since closed unfortunatly.Dont let jerks ruin it for you Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
slotperfect 7 #17 August 17, 2003 QuoteThe Four Agreements That is an AWESOME book . . . I have read the follow-on book "The Mastery Of Love" which is also excellent. I heartily second Paul's recommendation!Arrive Safely John Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Luv2Fall 0 #18 August 17, 2003 I'm glad I never went through that shit at my DZ. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
aero04 0 #19 August 17, 2003 QuoteSmome DZ's are very clickish, it happened to me at the DZ I trained at. I was never accepted and was never comfortable. I quit going there and was lucky that other DZ's were nearby. The next one I frequented took me in immediately as one of thier own, still some of my best friends are from that DZ... Exactly the same thing happened to me. Just try to keep a good attitude and don't give up. Good luck!! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Tonto 1 #20 August 18, 2003 Your Avitar... Is that a WW2 squadron patch? tIt's the year of the Pig. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
aliengirl 0 #21 August 18, 2003 After graduating from AFF and getting my A license, I noticed how much more difficult things became because you actually have to do things ON YOUR OWN. That's when I really started to notice the different attitudes from people. I guess that's just the way things go...I'm capable of doing things myself now, so I need to make just as much as an effort to be friendly to people. A lot of people DO have their little clique-y groups that they aren't very willing to stray from, but I guess I can see how that would happen. It's just like life...you stick with those you are comfortable with, if you can. So here is another, related question: what do newbies do about further learning, past getting their A license? I'm not going to learn all that I need/want to know on my own. And since I'm not big on inviting myself, how will I accomplish all of my goals if people seem put out by having to jump with someone with only 50 jumps? A few weeks ago I made a jump with two seasoned skydivers. I heard one of them make the comment, "And why do we have to jump with HER again??" and was pretty hurt. I consider myself a good skydiver. I'm obviously not at the level they were at, but I didn't realize that I was thought of as someone people have to babysit. At what point am I not a burden anymore? Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Remster 30 #22 August 18, 2003 QuoteAnd since I'm not big on inviting myself, You may have to work on that... Sometimes, making sure people know you want to learn and jump with them is all it takes for them to jump with you. Quote "And why do we have to jump with HER again??" Why do you have to jump with him/her again? With an attitude like that, I would be civil to that person, but thats about it. They wouldnt get a xmas card, thats for sure! Seriously, most DZs have lots (well, at least a few) people who really enjoy jumping with up and comming jumpers. Its a case of finding them sometimes, and thats hard to do if you are a quiet one. You are entering the back hole of skydiving right now: lost of people quite because they loose interest, mostly because they feel lost without the suppervision of an instructor, and dont know where or what they want to do.... make sure to talk to people!Remster Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Stacy 0 #23 August 18, 2003 hi Cindy- I sent you a PM, you will see a red number next to the word messages at the top of the screen. click on it. __ Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Tonto 1 #24 August 18, 2003 See if you can find a mentor. Being a woman and looking for a mentor does not mean looking for a boyfriend, lover, good time etc. If you're keen and show up and are interested they may find you. Also deciede what it is you want to learn. It makes it much easier planning dives with lower time jumpers if they identify a task they want to practice. You'll may also find you're putting yourself under a lot of pressure to "be good" when you're jumping with seniors. Just be yourself. If you make mistakes, that's how we learn. The stage you're at is really tough. There are gear choices, disiplines, techneques etc to learn - but skydivers are just people, regardless of their number of dives, and we all cock up. The better ones just fix it before others notice. Territorial. Without a doubt - We have only 2 Turbine DZ's in SA, and both have their "Alpha Female." One doesn't even jump. Doesn't stop her being a cow to anyone she doesn't like though... tIt's the year of the Pig. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
aliengirl 0 #25 August 18, 2003 QuoteTerritorial. Without a doubt - We have only 2 Turbine DZ's in SA, and both have their "Alpha Female." One doesn't even jump. Doesn't stop her being a cow to anyone she doesn't like though... t That's really odd. I'm not sure why anyone would feel the need to be that way....it should just remain one big happy skydiving family! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
